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MotherNurture
15-02-2007, 02:11
Someone brought up the issue of circumcision's impact on bonding in another thread, and I remembered the APPAH website hosts some facinating articles on circumcision, birth psychology, and the origins of violence. You can learn more about APPAH, HERE (http://www.birthpsychology.com/apppah/).

[These quotes/articles don't begin to address the effects of circumcision pain or the ways the surgery can negatively impact the breastfeeding relationship.]


Excepts from several articles from the Association for Pre- & Perinatal Psychology and Health (APPAH) website:


"The discussion of circumcision is a perfect example of the strength and influence of tribal programming on our thought and emotional responses. This programming is so ingrained that many people cannot even discuss the subject of circumcision without guilt, denial, or other strong emotions. I know that even addressing the subject of the baby boy's bodily integrity, choices, and pain if the procedure is done can cause a "kill the messenger" reaction. But this programming can be successfully questioned and worked through, if desired. "

Excerpt from Christiane Northrup,
Women's Bodies, Women's Wisdom
Creating Physical and Emotional Health and Healing (http://www.birthpsychology.com/birthscene/circ.html#northrup) (1994).
New York: Bantam Books.

Author Christiane Northrup, M.D., an obstetrician/gynecologist, co-directs the innovative Women to Women health care center in Yarmouth, Maine. She edits the national health newsletter "Health Wisdom for Women" and is Assistant Clinical Professor of Obstetrics and Gynecology at the University of Vermont School of Medicine.


"Years ago, when we women suffered ignominy and unnecessary procedures in childbirth "shaving, enemas, being tied down while in labour" we banded together and said no. We changed things. We should be changing this, too. We women in particular should be advocating for our boys. These are our children, and later they become partners and lovers and friends. A man or a boy with the power to declare his choice would not agree to be tied up and submit to an unnecessary operation, without so much as an analgesic, with its attendant psychological, sexual and even physical repercussions. Surely we cannot believe our speechless babies have fewer rights.

We are the agents of our children's choice. I wish I had remembered that, when "as I held my new little boys in my arms" I was approached by the doctor who asked me, "When do you want them circumcised?"

The answer, of course, should have been: Never."

When Do You Want Your Sons Circumcised?
My Answer Should Have Been Different (http://www.birthpsychology.com/birthscene/circ.html#mason)
By Diane Baker Mason*


"The real learning is given by the experiential facts of the event. The parents, who the baby is genetically programmed to believe are there only to love and protect and serve him, hand him over to some other who then straps him down and tears and cuts the most sensitive part of his body, the part that is designed by nature to bring pleasure, and finally cuts a piece of that part off. The real lesson is, "What you want or don't want and how you feel is of absolutely no concern to anyone. Not only do we not care enough to even try to listen and understand you, but the more you protest the more we will disassociate from you and ignore you. The world is a terrifying and dangerous place."

Circumcision as Ritual Initiation:
What I Learned at the Hospital (http://www.birthpsychology.com/birthscene/circ.html#levens)
Geoffrey Levens, L.Ac.



"As the Cheyenne Indians say, a nation can fall only when the hearts of the mothers are to the ground. The big problem with circumcision is mothers intuitively know it is wrong, yet they deny this natural impulse to protect their babies. This denial creates a lack of trust in a mother's own capacity to protect him from the knife (sword). She will distrust her own ability to raise her son, enrolling the "expert" or "authority," even to the extent of literally cutting off parts of his body so that he will fit on the Procrustean bed of the mythical "normal man," a warrior. When we abdicate this power to protect our babies in the early postpartum, no wonder there is rampant "postpartum depression," i.e. the mother's heart is on the ground."

Ending Circumcision:
Where Sex and Violence First Meet (http://www.birthpsychology.com/violence/baker.html)


"A gestating and newborn person's mother is absolutely everything to him. No matter how much dad talks to the baby in utero, or plays Chopin for him on his violin, no matter how well the baby recognizes other people at birth, mom is still the only one he really knows. Inside out. She is not just the source of life; she is life. Mom is Goddess. Her body is Eden. She is paradise, bliss, and eternity. A minute away from her is an eon of exile and agony. Without her there is no life, only interminable desolation. She looms so large and all-important that he can't see beyond her. And to imagine her as a separate being, or as weak, or as under someone else's influence is unfathomable.

So that's why if something terrible happens, it's mom who allowed it. (In our society, whatever is wrong with a person is usually "their mother's fault.") It is She who betrayed him. There just isn't anybody else. It's Woman who's responsible for Man's fall from Grace"according to the circumcised, Old Testament, patriarchal lot. It doesn't matter who actually does it--they are just pawns, devices, minions, tools, instruments of torture"it's Her Will. It doesn't matter who actually wants it or what the alleged reasons are."

Circumcision: The Root of Misogyny (http://www.birthpsychology.com/birthscene/circ.html#pyterek)
By Anne V. Pyterek*

See also: CIRP: Psychological impacts of male circumcision (http://www.cirp.org/library/psych/)

or, read:

CIRCUMCISION:
THE HIDDEN TRAUMA (http://www.circumcision.org/saying.htm)

Ronald Goldman, Ph.D.
Foreword by Ashley Montagu, Ph.D.

320 pages • 576 references • illustrated • bibliography • index • Vanguard Publications, trade paper ISBN 0964489538

---

Jen

AM
15-02-2007, 06:17
Thanks for posting that, all very interesting stuff!!:)

Pippi Longstocking
15-02-2007, 07:21
"The discussion of circumcision is a perfect example of the strength and influence of tribal programming on our thought and emotional responses. This programming is so ingrained that many people cannot even discuss the subject of circumcision without guilt, denial, or other strong emotions. I know that even addressing the subject of the baby boy's bodily integrity, choices, and pain if the procedure is done can cause a "kill the messenger" reaction. But this programming can be successfully questioned and worked through, if desired. "

It's so true isn't it! So many people are so unwilling to even discuss it and react very defensively if questioned about it.
I find it fascinating how such a -thing-* can be so totally accepted by some people but if you use a similar example of cosmetic, surgical modification of infants, such as ear lobe amputation, they would be horrified and protect their child from it with all they had.



*-thing- - couldn't think of an inoffensive term and was trying to be tactful.

MotherNurture
15-02-2007, 08:59
Guv'nor,

ITA. A really great article by the author of that quote, Christine Northrup, is called "HOW MALE CIRCUMCISION MAY BE AFFECTING YOUR LOVE LIFE (http://mensightmagazine.com/Articles/Northrup/lovecirc.htm)". It's excellent!

Regarding defensiveness, have you ever read about the Kubler-Ross "stages of grief"? They were developed regarding how people respond to death/loss of a loved one but they also apply well to other types of losses and grief.

When well-meaning parents who circumcised with inadaquate or inaccurate information are faced with the truth about the anatomy & physiology of the foreskin and the truth about circumcision, they often grieve. They love their children! They would never do anything to intentionally harm them. True, informed consent for circumcision is virtually non-existant---so much information is witheld. Yet, circumcision is damaging and, for the most part (save foreskin restoration), irreversible.

The stages of grief are:

1.) Denial

"Oh, it's no big deal! If it were so bad, doctors wouldn't do it. I've never heard a man complain. My circumcised husband says sex is just fine..."

2.) Anger

"It's a personal choice! He's MY son! He's fine! At least his penis doesn't look like an anteater!"

3.) Bargaining

"Well, maybe it's not necessary but lots of boys are circumcised. If I had it to do over again, I'm not sure what I'd do but I don't regret circumcising him because I did what I thought was best at the time. If he's missing something, he'll never know the difference."

4.) Depression

"OMG. I had no idea. I wish I could turn back time and undo it. I'm so sorry. I hope he's not angry. If he finds out what he's missing, will he ever forgive me? How could I leave it up to my husband? He didn't even research it. His penis looks so...wrong."

5.) Acceptance

"I made the best decision I could with the information I had available to me at the time, but I made a mistake. I meant well, but I did take something from him he probably would have valued; it wasn't my choice to make. When he's older, I'm going to apologize and tell him about foreskin restoration. Hopefully, the cycle can stop with him and my grandsons will be left intact."

Those who are grieving don't always experience those stages in that order, however. When I'm sharing information about circumcision, and people react with defensiveness or anger it helps to at least consider the possiblity that they may indeed be grieving; it helps me stay calm, and my attitude compassionate.

There's a wonderful quote by Maya Angelou that many parents who've circumcised and came to regret it greatly identify with:


“I don't know if I continue, even today, always liking myself. But what I learned to do many years ago was to forgive myself. It is very important for every human being to forgive herself or himself because if you live, you will make mistakes- it is inevitable. But once you do and you see the mistake, then you forgive yourself and say, 'well, if I'd known better I'd have done better,' that's all. So you say to people who you think you may have injured, 'I'm sorry,' and then you say to yourself, 'I'm sorry.' If we all hold on to the mistake, we can't see our own glory in the mirror because we have the mistake between our faces and the mirror; we can't see what we're capable of being. You can ask forgiveness of others, but in the end the real forgiveness is in one's own self. I think that young men and women are so caught by the way they see themselves. Now mind you. When a larger society sees them as unattractive, as threats, as too black or too white or too poor or too fat or too thin or too sexual or too asexual, that's rough. But you can overcome that. The real difficulty is to overcome how you think about yourself. If we don't have that we never grow, we never learn, and sure as hell we should never teach.”

–Maya Angelou

Jen