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Briswegian
13-02-2007, 21:53
Well, the sky is not falling, DH and I are getting stronger and we have a happy healthy family but I'm cross!
We are flying over of freq flier points to the UK for the family to meet DS2 (DH's family) and the taxes seem to have doubled and we cannot afford it with some other unexpected expenses piling up. It would be at least 2500 and thats just for the flights.
It's really hard to fly that far with a baby but people just seem to expect it. When we thought we wouldn't even be able to get a flight I got an email to say how 4 year old nephew doesn't understand and that my SIL thinks that I don't want to go and how disappointed MIL is. So I spent ALL DAY organising and finding flights.
Quite frankly, it's not much of a 'holiday' and I don't see why we should go into debt when MIL is loaded but has offered to pay less than half (both MIL and FIL have great jobs, fab house and holiday house in france and looking to build another etc etc etc).
THey are her grandsons who she rarely sees. We flew her over on points when DS2 was born and then she was meant to come over later in the year but didn't as we were coming over 6m later and so she went around europe instead.
I don't "expect" other people to do things for me but this was the agree ment and the whole idea was for the whole family including great nan and great gran to meet the wee one. I don't send emails about how disappointed DS1 is or how sad it is for me that my children miss out on certain relationships. I guess I just hate the emotional stuff that gets thrown my way. Ok counselled my self out of taking on others' emotional ****.
I just cannot comprehend that something so easily afforded by them is not forthcoming for the children, and then blamed on me. We looked after DH's young step brother last year when I was heavily preg and DH away all the time for work and it was inconvenient but he lived with us and drove my car to earn a living etc etc, because as far as I was concerned, he is my brother and that's what you do... so it just is a bit frustrating.

Ok, thanks for the vent, beginning to feel better but just a wee bit sad.

mum2anthony
13-02-2007, 22:03
hey there darl,

Unfortunately people are just rude... Do not go out of your way to get into debt to go and see them... Go when u can afford it because you and your families well being comes first.

Let them know things have changed and its out of your hands and chinup.. :)

Jender
13-02-2007, 22:19
Explain that it is not financially viable for you as you are keen to develop a secure finacial future for your family and this means sacrificing such things as flights to Europe, despite how much you would love to go. NEVER suggest they pay or say anything other than how disappointed you are. Be real;. Say you can't go into debt for this. You need to lead them into a space where they either offer or acept your decision.

good luck

damien's mum
13-02-2007, 22:22
hey there darl,

Unfortunately people are just rude... Do not go out of your way to get into debt to go and see them... Go when u can afford it because you and your families well being comes first.

Let them know things have changed and its out of your hands and chinup.. :)

I second that... :hugs:

Briswegian
13-02-2007, 22:26
THanks. I would never say that I'm disappointed....just pointing out how I get ladeled heaps of others emotions and that I would just not do that.
I've just said that we can't afford it.....guess I'm just annoyed that no matter what I do someone says something like, I just don't want to go! Yes, I'm the evil daughter/sister-in-law keeping the children to myself! LOL
Thanks heaps, needed to just purge this from my system so I can just get on with it!