Bridal party outfits - who pays?

[zenifa]

Just a quick question.
When planning your wedding, who paid for the bridesmaid/flowergirl dresses and the hire of suits for the groomsmen?
Did you (bride and groom) pay, did the bridal party member pay or did you split the cost?
My BIL and his fiance are getting married and we were discussing this the other day, and I just wanted more opinions and other peoples experiences.
Ta Z

[Harmony83]

I got them to all pay for the dresses and suit hire! No one had a problem with it!

[our little treasures]

For my wedding we asked the bridal party to pay for their own.

They were lucky though because my mum made the dresses and we only charged for the material.

Tradition it is the bridal party pays for their own but doesn't buy bride and groom gift!

[zenifa]

Did they still get you a gift? When my BIL's fiance was a bridesmaid recently, she had to pay $400 for her own dress, but then decided to not give them a gift, as she felt her contribution was sufficient. Your thoughts?

[Utopia]

I've been bridesmaid 4 times... the first 3 times the bride/groom paid for everything (they were big traditional Greek weddings) and the 4th time I had to pay my own way... dress, shoes, hair, makeup, jewellery the lot !

think alot of it has to do with tradition and personal choice.

[ButterflyMama]

We got gifts from our bridal party and hubby paid for his groomsmen's outfits and I paid for my bridesmaids.

[drewid]

My bridesmaids paid for their dresses, and we paid for everything else. (But we did pay for the hire of the men's suits- only 2 plus hubby)

I bought them gifts, and their gift to me was buying their own dress :) We got formal type dresses, that could be used again for other occasions, nothing so bridesmaid-y that it would just rot in a cupboard forever more.

[Utopia]

Did they still get you a gift? When my BIL's fiance was a bridesmaid recently, she had to pay $400 for her own dress, but then decided to not give them a gift, as she felt her contribution was sufficient. Your thoughts?
I think that's fair enough... the last bridal party i was in cost me over $1000! I was very poor at the time and couldn't afford to also buy them a gift.

[Harmony83]

They didn't get us gifts as the dresses were there contribution and them being in our bridal party was our gift!
It was the same when I was bridesmaid, we didn't get them a gift as well the outfits cost us an arm an a leg!!

[~rambox~]

Traditionally the brides parents pay for the bridesmaids dresses and the grooms parents pay for the grog.

My wedding my parents paid for the bridesmaids dresses and me & dh put the money on the bar tab and the groomsmen paid for there suits.

[Mummy2Noah]

My Bridal party paid for there dresses and shoes as did the groomsman there suit and shoes!! I bought the bridesmaids there jewlery as there pressie and i bought the flowers but they were all happy to pay for there own!!!!

[zenifa]

Thank you for your replies, keep them coming!!

DH and I eloped, so we don't have our own experience to draw from. I've been flowergirl/bridesmaid 4 times and only once (the last time) did I have to pay for shoes and dress (hire).

[Xavier's Mumma]

With my wedding The bridesmaids payed for there dresses and i payed for there hair and makeup, Jewelery, nails and shoes.
I also brought the Jnr bridesmaids dress and payed the hire on the 2 page boyz suits.

But in the end i did end up helping the bridesmaids pay for there dresses.
We didnt get presents from them.

I've also been in 2 weddings and the first one i payed for my dress and shoes and jewelery second one her mother made our dresses and payed for a hair to be donem I just brought the shoes and payed for my make-up to get done.

[our little treasures]

I'm back after raiding my memory boxes for my A GUIDE TO AUSTRALIAN WEDDINGS book. I found this very handy when planning my own wedding. Hubby and I paid for it.

Ok in the section who pays

The bride pays for :gifts for the groom and attendants, accomadation for attendants that live faraway, and BRIDESMAIDS dresses if she wants a style that would NOT be able to reuse (if it is a dress that can be worn then the bridesmaids have to pay for them).

I hope that helps. My bridesmaides did get me a small gift each. I got them their jewellery for the wedding as my gift.

My dresses were $25 cause mum made them and the shoes were $25, make up and hair I got the make up done they paid $30 and hair I let them do themselfs never again, I ended up doing the hair on the day for one who came with a bloomin moustache that I had to wax on the day!! I however ended up with rushed nails that were all over the fingers because I had to spend too much time on her!!

[Tan-mumof3]

My bridesmaids paid for their dresses and shoes & the groomsmen paid for their suit hire, we had no complaints.

[mum2bubba]

I'm not having bridesmaids but if I did i would just pick a colour and tell my bridesmaids to go and buy a dress thats comfortable to them (and something they can afford) in that particular colour (doesn't have to be an actual bridesmaid dress and they don't have to match)

[shed]

I am having one bridesmaid and she is buying her own dress in a style of her own choice. I have asked her to try and find a pink one though coz that's the colour I would prefer.

I was her bridesmaid also and I paid for the material for my dress to be made. I can't remember who paid the dressmaker. Maybe me, maybe her. I paid for my shoes.

I paid for my hair and we did our own makeup.

[cheezelkat]

I paid for my dress, hair, makeup.

The brides gift to us was jewelry and shoes.

[Snuffys Mum]

I only had one bridemaid (my sister) so I picked the colour and she just picked a dress she liked. She paid for her dress and shoes and made her own jewellery. I paid for her hair and makeup. The flowergirls mum made her dress and I made her jewellery and paid for her hair. The best man paid for his own suit hire. We asked for no gifts from any guests but both attendants still gave us gifts and we gave them thank you gifts too :laughing: ! It was presents all round lol!

[~mia&ryan~]

My bridesmaids are paying for there own dresses asnd shoes.. I am paying for there jewellery/acessories, hair and make up, taking them away for the night and giving them a thank you basket.. They picked there own shoes and all helped me pick the dresses so that they were able to wear them again... They are a great style and fortunately we all have basically the same taste in clothes..

I have previously payed for all my own things as a bridesmaid and am doing the same at my SIL 2 be's wedding...

I certainly dont expect any gifts from my bridesmaids, and I have told them that.. My sis (who is one of my bridesmaids) 2 little girls are my flower girls and we are playing for their dresses, shoes etc because I felt my sister was already doing/paying enough...

As for groomsmen, two are paying for their own but the other we are helping out... They arent suits though, just dress pants and shirt.... Its a fairly casual wedding..

[WeloveHarriet]

My sisters were my bridesmaids and they bought their own dresses and shoes - I bought their handbags and jewellery as their gifts. My husband's best friend and cousin paid for their own suit hire. We paid for our own wedding so no-one expected us to buy their outfits as well.

[SpecialMumma]

my bridesmaids were both running abit low on cash when I got married, so I worked out a deal.

they paid $200 for their dresses. I paid the other $60 or so and I got their shoes, jewellery, and handbags aswell.(which was their gifts from us) On the day they paid for their own makeup and hair. I also paid for all the trials aswell so it was only fair.

oh! and the dressmaker stuffed up the dresses so I paid for the $300 alerations too cos it wasnt fair on the b'maids to have to pay that!

The groomsmen paid for their own suits, and we paid their shirts and ties, and some nice cufflinks (as their jewellery). (that was their gift). I wasnt fussy with their shoes so they just used their own black ones.



Everything else was paid for by my mum.

EXCEPT:
bar - father in law
my flowers - groom
photography - us

the fancy wedding car we wanted was very expensive, so we paid for that too instead of a honeymoon cos we'd just purchased this house.

Hope it helps you out :)

[mlbmummy]

Our bridesmaids bought their own dresses and shoes and we paid for hair, make-up and jewellery. The groomsmen paid for their suit hire.

[Niki]

my dad paid for my bridesmaids dresses and we payed for the groomsmen and my dads suits

[SassyMummy]

I'm not married, but I would be paying for half of the bridesmaids dresses (because they will be purchased, not hired - and they won't be floor-length, so they can be worn again) and all of the suit hire.

I'll also pay for shoes and jewellery for bridesmaids as a gift for being in my wedding.

I think it's a bit rude to ask your bridal party to cover the full costs of their attire. After all, if you weren't getting married, THEY wouldn't have to go out and buy stuff for it.

[Becteria]

My bridesmaids bought their own dresses, i let them pick what they liked. I paid for a hairdresser, we did our own make up.

I think being an attendent is an honour; the two times i have been a bridesmaid we have paid for our own dresses etc. Just not fair to put expensive demands on your attendents in terms of outfits - if you want something pricey i think you should contribute to the costs...

[katherine]

my wedding... bridal part paid for their own outfits (thank goodness, cause my original bridesmaid didnt come through on the day)

but i was bridesmaid the previous year, and she bought all the girls dresses.... and gave them to us afterwards (how lovely was she)

[Nicpolsta]

I think you should pay for their clothes and they pay for their shoes.
Hairy makeup etc should all be paid for by the bride and groom also.

[sugar n spice]

Its my sisters wedding next week and im a bridesmaid. we are all paying to have our dresses proffesionaly made, makeup, hair and shoes we have paid for. Im not spending much on a gift though and she has bought me and the other bridesmaid matching necklaces to wear to the wedding.

[SpecialMumma]

I think it's a bit rude to ask your bridal party to cover the full costs of their attire. After all, if you weren't getting married, THEY wouldn't have to go out and buy stuff for it.

I do agree with ya Stacey about asking to cover ALL the cost, but some of it no.

True, that if you werent getting married they wouldnt have to go buy all the stuff, but you do ASK if they will be your bridesmaid etc etc, and they DONT have to say yes. Most people know that when your in a wedding, it will cost.. even if just a little bit. Its all part of the package of being in a wedding.

[JesLiz]

it is ment to be that the bride and groom buy the ppl from the bridal party a gift for being there and that the ppl from the bridal party pay for there own dresses and suits and stuff

[SassyMummy]

Oh no, I didn't mean that EVERYTHING should be bought by the Bride/Groom!

I dunno if I mentioned it in my previous post... but I intend on having my bridesmaids pay for HALF of their dresses... depending on how much half is. They'll get to keep it, after all...

I think asking them to pay the FULL price of it is rude and a bit rich though. I've been asked to be a bridesmaid, and I'm paying half. I agree that you can just say 'no' to being a bridesmaid, but it's one of those things where it's a bit rude to refuse without a decent reason... and I know that, if my friend wanted me to pay for the full price of the dress, I couldn't give that as my reason for saying no. It would upset her and probably make her a bit angry at me for being 'cheap' or whatever.

[SassyDiva]

Now she keeps asking if I have put my money in the account......??????/
Her mum made it quite clear she woudl pay for everyone at teh shower but me..theres another $50..
On the morning she wanted champagne..which I bought as she had no money but her whole fmaily drank ...another $40
when does it stop?????


WOW.... I think this is just so rude.. Does she realise how much you have spent for her day and hens night.. She sounds like she's 2 much of a taker to me..

[shirls84]

I will be MOH for my best friends wedding in late sept. I will be paying for everything. I clarified this with her the other day. She has specified the dress colour (hot pink) but she does realise that myself and another bridesmaid are fairly strapped for cash. I have however made sure she is willing to be lenient with my dress style as im plus size already and by the time of the wedding baby would have just been born. Cause I did want to pull out as it would have been too costly and i wont be able to do all the normal MOH things for her - but she swears that i have to be there. All i will say is that i warned her that i am going to be useless. One thing that annoyed me though the other day - was she said oh instead of buying us a present can u scrap book our wedding album... we thought of you cause you wont be working! I agreed cause i like that sort of thing - and explained to her it will take a long time for me to do.... i just dont think she realises that my pregnancy and new baby will take alot out of me. Sorry hijacked thread abit..... I dont think bridal party should have to pay for everything - but i think its very personal it depends on what the bride and bridesmaids etc are expecting and i think everyone needs to be clear with eachother from the start.

[SassyMummy]

I guess who the bridesmaid is in relationship to teh bride as well. I mean, I don't have a sister... but if my brother was a groomsman or something, I'm sure he'd have an easier time telling me to tell me that he can't afford it/doesn't want to pay for it/doesn't want to be a groomsman etc than a friend would.

My brother isn't as concerned about my feelings as friends are... which can be annoying, but it's also good because at least i know hes not secretly whinging about me in his mind.

(If he was a groomsman, I'd pay for his stuff anyway. Unless he offered otherwise...).

[Africamum]

I paid for everything - dresses, hair, flowers, flights and accomadation.

I think it is unreasonable for people to be apart of my celebration and have to then contribute towards it.
But thats just my opinion.

[zenifa]

Thanks for your responses.
Saw my BIL and his fiance on the weekend, we didn't exactly clarify who would be paying. I'm not even sure how much my DH's suit hire will be, but it look like the outfit they have picked for my DD (flowergirl) is $40 - I haven't seen it but its been described to me as a white lyrcra bodysuit with leggings and a tutu ????

Anyway imo, I guess its just ironic, that they are spending $20 000 on a wedding (with my DH's parents contributing and the brides parents paying the bulk) and then they ask us to pay half of my DD's dress ie $20 and then pay for DH's suit hire, and there seems to be some expectation of $$ for the wishing well (as they have house, so no gifts, only $$ for their Italian honeymoon).

Also when DH and I got married (we eloped overseas and then had a celebration with family and friends in OZ), my inlaws didn't contribute anything towards it (although they were able to invite any guests they wanted), my parents organised and paid for it all. So I'm not sure how DH feels about his parents forking out for his brother's wedding, especially when my BIL is so frivolous with his own money. Families and weddings....sheesh, all I can say, is that we will be glad once the day arrives, on Aug 25th.