Santa / Easter bunny / tooth fairy - to tell or not? [Archive]

xkwzit

24-11-2005, 14:02

Hi All
Its been touched on in another thread, but I wanted to pursue it a bit more. Will you keep up the Santa myth for your kids? Or have you decided not to.

There's no right or wrong answers here - just a choice that you've made that you can live with. I'd like to hear what you've done and why (I might learn something that I can use :D ).

I really thought long and hard about this because I didn't want to lie to my children. But I was also worried that they might let the cat out of the bag for other kids. So I decided to keep up the myth, but I'm still trying not to directly lie (twisting myself up in knots :D ). This Christmas I'll start telling DD1 about the original Saint Nick to give her a bit of the history behind Santa, which might make it a bit better when I finally have to come clean.

That's another issue - how will we tell, when will we tell. I had a friend whose parents pulled her aside when she was about 11. She was the eldest of all her siblings and cousins and they made it into a big right of passage thing, now that she was old enough, it was time for her to help keep it magical for the other little children. I thought that was lovely and I'd prob do something similar (but I think it will have to be before she's 11!)

Looking forward to hearing what you're doing...

Ffrenchknickers

24-11-2005, 14:07

HI

We dont tell our kids that they are real...we say that it is a fun game that we play at Christmas time. WE also make sure to tell them that most kids believe that they are real and to let them believe it....every family is different.

I dont know how I feel about the whole CHristmas thing anyway....we are currently praying lots about it to try and decide what to do.

Imogensmum

24-11-2005, 14:08

I was brought up with santa and easter bunny and tooth fairies- even had little glitter foot prints up the wall from the faries!!!

I want Imogen to have that- but i don't want to lie to her! So i'm looking at it as an "expansion-on-her-imagination"!

Cause mummies never lie LOLOLOLOL :D

Mamaduke

24-11-2005, 15:21

I remember when I realised 'the truth' - Christmas, Easter etc just wasn't the same anymore!
It's all right to tell your kids that alot of other children believe in it but are you with them all the time - are they going to spoil it for a child who truly believes?
I can't understand the harm in letting them think there is someone truly magical that knows exactly what they want for Christmas and brings it to them on a sleigh.
To see the looks on their faces on Christmas morning when Santa has walked in the powder that we sneakily put at the door the night before, and look, he walked right up to the side of their bed...it's beautiful!
Jesse also knows that the reason we celebrate Christmas is the fact that it's Jesus' birthday so it's not purely a material thing for him.
These poor kids...
We've told them junk food is bad, playing superheros is not appropriate, wrestling displays aggression, blah, blah, blah....
let them have Santa, Easter bunny, tooth fairy and anything else they want to imagine is real....they are grown ups for such a looooong time!!!
Carly

veve

24-11-2005, 15:24

These poor kids...
We've told them junk food is bad, playing superheros is not appropriate, wrestling displays aggression, blah, blah, blah....
let them have Santa, Easter bunny, tooth fairy and anything else they want to imagine is real....they are grown ups for such a looooong time!!!
Carly

I absolutely agree- before too long - you have responsibilities.. chores.. school.. homework.. bills.. morgage.. debt .. etc.. - let the kids BE kids!!!! I LOVE the magic of Christmas.. and I cant wait to experience it as a family!

I plan to teach Jack about St Nick - and definately about the true meaning of Christmas ... but he will also love Santa.. and the bunny and the tooth fairy..

xxx

Ffrenchknickers

24-11-2005, 15:54

I
t's all right to tell your kids that alot of other children believe in it but are you with them all the time - are they going to spoil it for a child who truly believes?

We have always told Toby that some kids truly believe it and he knows not to say anything.....Even kids who DO believe in Santa etc. find out at different ages that he is not real so it could be an "ex believer" that actually spoils it for another child - infact that is how it usually happens I believe.

WE DEFINATELY believe in letting our kids be kids, for us it just doesnt include Santa and the Easter Bunny etc...Having said that, as I said n my previous post, we tell them it is a fun game we play...they are allowed to sit on Santas knee and have photos etc...we just dont say that he is real. Our kids are not forbidden to DO anything or miss out on any fun.

Our decision is something that we prayed and thought seriously about for a long time, not something that we do to spoil our kids fun. :rolleyes:

The whole Christmas thing means different things to different people...its not actually the correct date of Christs birth (which probably doesnt really matter) and it wasnt actually commanded anywhere in the Bible to celebrate this holiday - it stemmed from a Pagan festival worshipping the Sun God. (yeah, I do think that its what is in your heart and if you are not a pagan you are not a pagan.)
We are just going to use Christmas as a time of extra prayer, good chance to get together wiht family and friends and get out there and donate to some charities - both with our time and our money.

Cheyenne's*Mummy

24-11-2005, 16:37

My brother and i were brought up on Santa,Easter Bunny and the Tooth Fairy. There did come a time when we knew but mum never told us. I remember one Christmas Eve my brother and I got up and walked down the hallway and here was cardboard up on the window that they had between the hallway and the loungeroom. I had a peek and saw mum and her boyfriend putting presents under the tree. I already had an idea they did the present thing but no-one told us.
Even though we knew, we still believed in Santa as a Spirit as well as the Easter Bunny and Tooth Fairy. And that mum just helped them out by buying the presents for us.
Even now i still believe in them as Spirits, i know they aren't real but i like to think there is something there.
So if i told Cheyenne that Santa,Easter Bunny,Tooth Fairy arent real, she would still know they are Spirits and that i am just helping them. It's not a lie because i, myself believe it.
I believe in everything magical though, i actually used to try and stay awake at night to see if my toys came to life..lol..
But it's so exciting for children when Santa has come. My dad puts bits of Santa's "beard" on his fireplace,leaves nibbled carrot, half empty water bowl, EMPTY beer(of course) and a half eaten cookie out and the kids go nuts on Christmas morning. That's what i want for Cheyenne until she's old enough and realises...then we'll talk about Spirits :D

wattle

24-11-2005, 18:03

Ha ha, very funny you guys. Of course Santa, Easter bunny and the Tooth faries are real.

Imagine a world without them :( It would be terrible.

Terrible2+1cutie

24-11-2005, 18:10

I am currently having discussions about this exact topic with my partner lol, i was brought up with santa, toothfairy, easter bunny and all that and Cameron is saying are you going to lie to the kids cause he doesn't believe in all that stuff and doesn't really care much for christmas at all (to him its just another day), its a sensitive topic that needs to be delt with, any ideas would be great, i would love the kids to grow up knowing the magic of christmas but in the same time i don't want to lie to the kids.

Catherine

Tea Lady

24-11-2005, 18:17

Interesting that you posted this Xkwizit - DH and I were just having a big talk last night about how we're going to "do" Christmas.

We're not going to tell our kids that Santa etc are real (hey, I want the credit for doing all the christmas shopping!! :D ) but like Ffrenchstar we'll make a big deal about not wrecking it for others. I didn't believe in Santa as a kid, and I never spoilt it for anyone or felt like I missed out (if anything I felt a bit "superior" to all the kids who fell for it - not sure if that's what I want to encourage in my kids, but anyway!). I think Ffrenchstar has a point that kids all find out at different ages so any kid could really be the one who bursts the bubble - at least I will make sure I tell my kids not to, whereas other kids might not realise they shouldn't.

It really meant alot to me when I got older that my parents had never told me something was true when they knew it wasn't (I know that parents who do tell their kids Santa is real are not intending it as a lie, but to me this was important - it meant that I knew I could really trust them) so it matters to me that I do the same for my kids. I still loved Christmas and it was a really special family time for us.
Please understand that I'm not saying you're a bad parent or that your kids won't trust you if you do tell them Santa is true, I'm just speaking from my own experience.

Hope that's helpful!

L

Mamaduke

24-11-2005, 18:22

My parents lied!!???? :(

Well, that's it, I'm off to therapy :rolleyes: :rolleyes:

Carly

Rell

24-11-2005, 19:16

I really thought long and hard about this because I didn't want to lie to my children. ...

Who can honestly say they have never lied to their kids? Like the other day I told my DD that the hideous shoes she had picked out didn't come in her size.

I'm glade I got to experiance the magic of Santa, the easter bunny and the tooth fairy as a child and watching how excited my DD gets at easter and christmas is so much fun.
Santa is real but only for those who believe.

CJJHRA

24-11-2005, 19:37

Its fun watching the excitement on their little faces when they think Santa (etc) will be visiting.

My three elder boys knows they arent real (at 13,9 and 7) The twins are loving the idea of Santa at 4yrs old, so much so we had put our tree up today (havent decorated it yet) and they are jumping up and down saying "santa's going to say what a very pretty tree we have"

The elder three havent spoilt it for them, besides, the twins dont believe them that they arent real.

I dont think you are lying to them, its the spirit of it all, keeping it alive.

The twins havent asked yet if Santa is real, and if they do I will tell them then, like I have with the others.

xkwzit

24-11-2005, 20:15

But Rell

Seriously I don't lie ... I don't tell my kids that the ride on things at the shops are broken: I tell them that I don't put money into them, I don't tell my kids that something isn't the right size, I just say that I'm not going to buy it (or I do buy it anyway, hence DD1s (sort of) ugly white sandals - but hey, they're her favourite :D ).

So this is a serious crisis of concious for me ... (and I'm not just taking the p!ss).

[Now I'm not making any judgment here, everyone make different choices - it's just that up until now, its been a big priority of mine to be absolutely honest with my kids. That's been my strategy and I'm trying to maintain my integrity there - and have Santa :D .]

Ffrenchknickers

24-11-2005, 20:41

Xkwzit, I'm with you, I really, honestly strive to never lie to my kids (or to anyone but especially my children) in all areas - even when it means that the outcome will be harer for me to deal with (yes we have icecream, but NO you cant have any.)

I wish you luck in finding peace with whatever decision you make....

besides, the twins dont believe them that they arent real.
...that's just the thing! Although Toby knows the truth, he gets just as excited when he sees Santa at the shops or he visits a party...I swear he really doesnt believe me anyway lol! So there we go, we have been honest but he gets all the fun at the same time!

Imogensmum

24-11-2005, 20:52

It's not lying it is omitting the truth- and yes there is a difference!!!

Santa is real- in an imaginary world!!!!

The easter bunny does deliver eggs- its just that to grown ups he is called the delivery man who drives the woolworths truck... etc!!!

See we can all do it!!!

(seriously though, i think it is a really hard decision to make- and everyone will come to there own conclusion- but personally i would be rally sad if my little girl never thought santa was sneaking down the chimmney!!)

MissSparkle

24-11-2005, 21:18

This may sound crazy but Im 19 and I have a 16yo brother and a 14yo sister and my parents still won't admit that Santa, easter bunny and the tooth fairy aren't real. Although We all had it figured out by the time we were about 8 or so, my parents still won't admit it! It sounds very odd but we all loved the fact that "Santa" bought us so many presents and conviniently he had the same wrapping papper as our mum!
I plan on telling Angelo when he is about 10 but until then I want him to enjoy all the excitement that I did as a child!

Baby Girl

24-11-2005, 22:28

You mean Santa, the Easter Bunny and the Tooth Fairy are make believe......Does this mean that the Stork didn't deliver my babies either.... :eek:

I have every intention of lying to my kids about Santa, the Easter Bunny and the Tooth Fairy!! I loved the thought of leaving cookies and milk out for Santa and a carrot for Rudolph. I loved the treasure hunt for Easter Eggs because (as my parents told me) as the bunny hopped all around the yard he dropped eggs everywhere!! I was always so excited to lose a tooth because I knew I could go to the shops with my 20 or 50 cents and buy lollies to make sure the new one came through with holes :D !!

We are not going to make a big deal about the whole lot and when they figure it out we are not going to keep up the charade (unless they want us to) but I think it encourages their imagination which is something society already shuts down as early as possible these days. Both our girls will be taught the true meaning of Christmas and Easter when they are old enough to understand it but at the moment, while they are still so young, I don't see any harm in letting them believe in Jolly Old Saint Nick and his mates.

Ffrenchknickers

25-11-2005, 06:28

Does this mean that the Stork didn't deliver my babies either....
LOL!!:D

encourages their imagination which is something society already shuts down as early as possible these days

OMgosh, I totally, totally agree...dont even get me started on TV... :rolleyes:

carls

25-11-2005, 06:59

I posted something about this on another thread, but I'll re-post it here!

I was saying that Santa, Easter Bunny and the Tooth Fairy made my childhood exciting, and they gave me something to look forward to. I used to get up throughout the night on Christmas Eve to see if he had been, and my parents used to look so surprised when I got the present that I wanted from Santa. I loved looking for easter eggs and waiting for the pile of money under the glass in exchange for my tooth.

Looking back I wonder how I was so naiive - the stickers on my presents from Santa had the same writing on them as my mums, mum always used to know if I had missed finding an easter egg somewhere....how could I have been so dumb?? :D

I was told in the schoolyard about Santa not being real, and I was devastated. I went home and asked my parents and they tried to tell me that my friend was lying but the eventually came clean! All those years not knowing was worth it though.

If I told my child right from day one that these things werent real, I would feel responsible for my child passing on 'the truth' and ruining these times for other children. I dont think its fair! Let kids be kids for as long as possible and have these magical times during the year. :)

Lil X-men

25-11-2005, 13:00

I'm sorry, but the whole I dont want lie to my kids thing is a crock! Since when did we have to physco analyse everything? I dont know one adult who has suffrered serious long term trauma from being lied to about Santa etc.
Come on people! Why cant we just lighten up, stop thinking for two seconds and let our kids be kids. It's not hurting them to believe!!!
Seriously I think we are causing more damage by being so serious and analytical all the time, our kids are going to grow up like blooming robots at this rate! JMO

carls

25-11-2005, 13:08

Seriously I think we are causing more damage by being so serious and analytical all the time, our kids are going to grow up like blooming robots at this rate! JMO

Politically correct, boring, pessimistic, philosophical robots.

Mamaduke

25-11-2005, 13:08

bravo Julie!!!

Ffrenchknickers

25-11-2005, 13:31

I'm sorry, but the whole I dont want lie to my kids thing is a crock!
TO you maybe...no problems:) Each to their own.

Since when did we have to physco analyse everything?
We dont

I dont know one adult who has suffrered serious long term trauma from being lied to about Santa etc.
Me neither, thats not what its about for me

Come on people! Why cant we just lighten up, stop thinking for two seconds and let our kids be kids.
We do....you know what we're doing at Christmas time??? Visiting family, swimming, going to the beach....then going camping with 3 other families with kids hte same age...on this camp we will be rock climbing, playing laser skirmish, swimming in rock pools, toasting marshmellows, singing songs......sounds like great kids stuff to me!

It's not hurting them to believe!!!
No, and its not hurting them not to believe either.

Seriously I think we are causing more damage by being so serious and analytical all the time, our kids are going to grow up like blooming robots at this rate! JMO
Thanks very much :rolleyes: ....Do you know how much I want to do the right thing for my children? Do you not think that most parents do what THEY feel is right for their kids?

Politically correct, boring, pessimistic, philosophical robots.

Calling anybodies children robots or accusing the parents of raiding their kids to be robots is just offensive. Julie, you are a mother....you wouldnt like it if someone said this about your child...Carls hopefully when you have children you'll realise we're all just doing the best we can. :( My child will be boring and pessimistic just because we dont do Santa????? How ridiculous, theres more to life than Santa...why does it matter if one family chooses not to? I would never try and tell anyone they were wrong for letting their kids believe, never never never. :mad:

carls

25-11-2005, 13:35

Sorry Katie - that was more tongue in cheek than anything else - it was not meant to be a direct dig at you. Apologies!

I am wondering though, if your kids dont believe in these things and go and tell their friends that do believe that they aren't true, will you feel guilty - or will you tell your kids not to spoil it for others? I would hate for another mum to come up to me and say "you/your child spoiled Christmas for my child!" :eek:

Ffrenchknickers

25-11-2005, 13:39

Hey Carls...Thankyou:)

I kind of answered this question on the previous page..Toby really really nkows that most kids believe and to be quite honest, he pretends he believes too -I think he just ignores me which is fine lol! He understands about respecting other peoples beliefs and he's not a child who will go out intentionally to upset someone....I think the problem is that kds find out at all different ages that he is not real...so its always some kid that spills the beans, not neccessarily a non believer. Believe me though, every Xmas we re emphasize that some believe and some dont....just like believing in God.:)

Ana Gram

25-11-2005, 14:23

I am wondering though, if your kids dont believe in these things and go and tell their friends that do believe that they aren't true, will you feel guilty - or will you tell your kids not to spoil it for others? I would hate for another mum to come up to me and say "you/your child spoiled Christmas for my child!" :eek:

To be perfectly honest I wouldn't give a toss about another child's vision of Christmas. This can be easily equated to believe in God or Allah or Buddha ect. Some people believe one thing, others believe another.

It also has nothing to do with imagination, my child has a brilliant imagination, if fact this morning her toy lamb and toy bat were having a conversation, I couldn't tell you what they were talking about but it sure sounded interesting. Just because we don't do Santa does not mean our children are going to be boring robots, imagination is not centred around someone who gives you the latest present. And I would rather my child know and thank the person buying the presents and not have the threat of if you are naughty no presents.

To us Christmas is about being with our family, not the presents santa might bring. Same with easter.

carls

25-11-2005, 14:26

To be perfectly honest I wouldn't give a toss about another child's vision of Christmas.

I guess we wont be seeing you at the local hospital, giving sick kids christmas presents!

Lil X-men

25-11-2005, 14:31

I dont want to argue with you Ffrenchstar it's JMO like I said! Get offended by what I say if you want but thats what I believe and I'm not going to take it back, I'm sick of having to agree with everyone just to keep the peace. I read so many of these threads and I rarely put in a word as I usually get jumped on for my opinion.
I'm not saying your children are robots, it was not a personal dig either, but I do think we as a general rule seem to take everything ( not just santa etc ) far too seriously these days . I think that we try soooo damn hard to be good parents and need to take a step back and just let them be sometimes. Remember I am not trying to offend anyone, I need to put a dsiclaimer in my sig like, Coopsntilly! This is JMO! ;)

carls

25-11-2005, 14:34

I honestly cant believe this thread has escalated into another bun fight.

Are we bringing up EACH others children???

NO????
Well...what the frig does it matter if one mum says YES to Santa and another says NO>
Thsi is a what do you do thread, not a your figging up the future's generation because you believe/ don't believe thread.
Lighten up everyone.
You do or you don't.
Lets not start slinging snow!
O's mom.

I thought we were slinging buns???? :D

Ffrenchknickers

25-11-2005, 14:38

It also has nothing to do with imagination, my child has a brilliant imagination

Hear hear! I think TV has alot more to do with stifling the imagination personally...that and homework lol.

Julie, believe me, I really dont want to argue either, totally not my intention at all. I totally dont think that everyone should agree with everyone, not at all, I do think we nee to be careful how we come across though. Enough said from me, lets move on :) We'll find ourselves agreeing wholeheartedly on something in the next thread.

Ffrenchknickers

25-11-2005, 14:42

I honestly cant believe this thread has escalated into another bun fight.

Me either...

Well...what the frig does it matter if one mum says YES to Santa and another says NO>

Exactly!

So what is it KB, buns or snow? ;)

wattle

25-11-2005, 14:42

Yes. Hear hear, not here here. ooops sorry, that was a different thread....

Lil X-men

25-11-2005, 14:45

LOL, buns for some people, snow for others, which ever they prefer! :D

Ana Gram

25-11-2005, 14:49

I guess we wont be seeing you at the local hospital, giving sick kids christmas presents!

no you won't. And if you were in our financial situation you would understand why.

carls

25-11-2005, 14:49

KB doesnt snow which one to choose.....

Ffrenchknickers

25-11-2005, 14:52

:p oh haha Carls

Ffrenchknickers

25-11-2005, 14:53

;) What you saying 'bout my buns????

carls

25-11-2005, 14:53

I have fantastic buns, if you want to throw them KB

MariaO

25-11-2005, 16:14

We will definitely be doing Santa, tooth fairy etc. I only really worry about personal lies if you know what I mean. I am all for lying in a make believe kind of way. My niece was convinced there was a child eating crocodile in my brothers basement - we used to have great fun avoiding him - tricky considering he didn't even have a basement. So, I love a bit of make believe but each to their own.

Mamaduke

25-11-2005, 16:27

From chellegoth...

no you won't. And if you were in our financial situation you would understand why.

from chellegoth a while ago...

My partner earns a decent wage too

Hmmmm...you don't have to even earn a 'decent wage' to give, there are always those less fortunate.

Baby Girl

25-11-2005, 16:39

Carlyb, I think it is nasty to attack someone personally because they won't be handing out pressies at the hospital. I am all for Santa, the Easter Bunny etc but I don't think it reflects on my "Christmas Spirit" because I won't be handing out pressies either. I am sure you are not fully aware of anyone else's financial situation, whether they earn a decent wage or not and therefore shouldn't bring it up in a thread that was originally about what CHOICES we as individuals had made regarding these fictional characters and whether we were going to sell them to our children or not.

Ana Gram

25-11-2005, 16:43

From chellegoth...

from chellegoth a while ago...

Hmmmm...you don't have to even earn a 'decent wage' to give, there are always those less fortunate.

Yes there are and the wide range of people who are less fortunate is much more than my family can deal with. Yes my partner earns a decent wage, enough that we have a roof over our heads, food to eat, bills paid and clothes on our backs and that is all it covers.

I suggest if you and Carls would like to continue making personal attacks to me, start a new thread as this is going way off topic now.

Baby Girl

25-11-2005, 16:44

Did you mean me kevinbudgie?

I am quite happy to delete it if you like.....

WeThree

25-11-2005, 17:20

omgosh!!!! good on you KB, lately every where you look on this site there are argumentitive mean people, who twist everyones words around and try to pick or start fights, whether they find it funny, or they just dont truly get what this site is supposed to be about, i dont know. Bubhub was not originally this way, it has only recently become so, if you dont like the way it was, go somewhere else, if you came here because you liked it, then help to keep it the way it was. Im all for debate and a bit of controversy even, on interesting debatable topics, but personal attacks, and twisting others words around because a thread about Santa????:confused:

Mamaduke

25-11-2005, 17:31

If you read the title of my post it did say "how did we get onto this" - no personal attacks, just merely quoting what someone has said previously.
I don't know how someone could take

you don't have to even earn a 'decent wage' to give, there are always those less fortunate.
as a personal attack, there was talk about the 'spirit of Christmas' and this was my opinion.

Ffrenchknickers

25-11-2005, 17:35

Chelle, dont worry about it, (and I know you know this) you dont have to explain yourself to anyone. :)

tickle

25-11-2005, 17:41

nemosmum

25-11-2005, 17:44

Peace love music baby peace love music baby peace love music baby :)

carls

25-11-2005, 17:54

I suggest if you and Carls would like to continue making personal attacks to me, start a new thread as this is going way off topic now.

Oh for Christ sake Chellegoth - I think you should lighten up a bit. You said that you couldnt give a toss about other childrens visions of christmas - dont be the pot calling the kettle black on harsh comments from now on, ok?

This thread has now strayed into stupid territory, completely off the topic of santa etc. Lets get back to it or end it!

Ana Gram

25-11-2005, 18:07

mmmm no I am light enough thanks. and please don't deny that you have made some very harsh personal attacks towards me. Either that or you don't consider implying that someone is less that a responsible parent if their approach to parenting is different to yours a personal attack.

Perhaps I should have quoted the text which made me respond with not giving a toss about other children's christmas. Oh no, looking back, in fact I did. It was in response to your concerns about other mothers saying you had ruined Christmas for their child. You may find it harsh but it was not a personal attack towards anyone. Truth is, other people's children and how they raise them adn what they raise them to believe is not my concern. Nowhere did I mention sick children in hospital as I don't think that would be their vision of Christmas, which was your point I believe.

I have absolutely no respect for people for people who make personal comments, then turns around and tell the person they have insulted to chill. Not cool.

MariaO

25-11-2005, 18:16

Does it depend on how people felt when they found out these creatures did not exist (if they believed them in the first place). I remember my older brother telling me Santa did not exist and then telling me, on pain of corporal punishment, not to tell the folks I knew. While one of us believed in Santa, we got double presents!
Nasty child that I was, I carried on faking it for a few years.
I think I kind of knew the other fantasy characters did not exist.

WeThree

25-11-2005, 18:20

dont worry about it chelle, most of us know what you were trying to say :)

xkwzit

25-11-2005, 21:08

Wow, I missed some stuff last night...but Coops, I think we've been having vigorous discussions on this site since the beginning :D . I remember immunisation has been sparking debate for MONTHS and I learnt not to read ANYTHING in the circumcision sections ages ago (with 2 DDs I really don't need to know). I don't really think its gone downhill ...

YMSteph, LOL your post made me think I should NEVER come clean ... I love the idea of your parents never fessing up. Cool :cool:

As a bit of background: My brother actually used the whole Santa lie as the reason he told my parents that he didn't believe in God (if you lied to me about Santa, how do I know you're NOT lying to me about God). While in my head I think that it is a lame excuse in that I think he made up his own mind about God and whether my parents lied to him about Santa probably didn't have ANYTHING to do with it, it would seriously shake me if either of my DDs said this to me. This is why I am hyper vigilant about lying to my kids. My life experience makes it impossible for me to lightly dismiss it. As I said right at the start of this thread, everyone makes their own choices based on their experience and knowledge and just like we've all come from different places, we're all going to make different choices. No choice is "absolutely right", it's just right for us and what is right is different for each of us.

So be excellent to each other :cool:

WeThree

25-11-2005, 21:49

xkwzit

25-11-2005, 22:18

Here's a philosophical question (I'm now hijacking my own thread :eek: )...

"Is nasty in the eye of the beholder" (or on a forum, the reader)?

I guess its not possible to get nasty if no-one rises to the bait (so if no-one sees nasty - there is no nasty)

But does this absolve the poster of all responsibility, because we all choose how we react when we read it?

Like everything I think the answer is grey - and now I'm rambling - so I should really go to BED.

Have an excellent evening

j&k'smum

25-11-2005, 22:41

To me, all this Santa and Easter Bunny stuff, is just like a fairytale we read them when they go to sleep. Its just make beleive. Its fun, its excitement. Its something that when you are a kid, builds you up and fills you. Its imaginitive, it fills you with wonder and life. I certainly remember being that way when I was a kid. And I certainly remember those fun times, not the truth about it all being a big "lie". I can't even remember being told at any certain point. It became more like a gentle knowing.
There are things that come to us just for a time, and I think these fantasies are just that too. I want my kids to feel how I used to as a kid. I want them to be all excited thinking that "Santa will be here soon". I want them to lay awake at night and wonder if they can hear him coming. I want them to put milk and cookies out for him and to find them gone in the morning. I want them to see the little paw prints around the garden at easter time and the carrots half eaten.
I want them to feel that feeling of thinking that "Santa" or "Easter Bunny" came for them. For their precious little selves.
I think by the time they are old enough and find out they aren't real, they don't really care anyway.
Like someone else wrote, I think we are tending to over analyse things to the extreme and are taking away the innocence of childhood. The fun of it. The excitement of it. The imagination side of it.
That is just my opinion. of course. :D

pegasus

25-11-2005, 23:50

I agree with you J&K'smum...I don't remember the finding out (except the same as MariaO - my older brother and sister wanted me to keep quiet so we'd get more presents :p ). I do remember putting out milk and gingernuts - asking mum and dad how Father Christmas would find us if we went away for Christmas, and not even questioning how he got in when we didn't have a fire for years and when we did get one it had a really small chimney!! :confused:

I also remember lots of Sunday School stories about the birth of Christ and loving Carols by candlelight and getting together and singing etc...

The whole thing about Father Christmas (and all his cronies) was the presents which was all in fun anyway. I worked in retail from when I was 15 till I was 25 and that was when Christmas lost it's sparkle - when you're at a shop till 11 on Christmas Eve (but the money's good) you look forward to a couple of days break. I've been looking forward to sharing the whole package of the magic of Christmas with my kids for years, as someone else said it's almost like makebelieve stories etc.

Just one word of warning about the presents for 'underprivileged kids', and please if you know some good stories about this let me know. I personally don't give to them as I know each year my DSK's get St Vinnies (and other's presents) as they show me and tell me it's great etc. My problem with this is that they also get heaps of (I think) OTT presents (eg. My 11yr old DSD got a $300mobile phone in with about $200 of clothes, make up, jewellery etc just from her mum.)

People who go off about the commerciality of Christmas need to consider how they're going to put across the meaning of Christmas to their children, as it's their responsibility. As children, we knew about the Christian, biblical meanings, we also knew there were only two times in the year that we'd get presents just for the sake of it (birthday being the other). I plan on trying to do the same for our kids - no presents throughout the year they haven't earned, but something to look forward to. (Just the same as I'll say no to lollies off the end of the checkout etc.) :p

PS DH just asked me what I was writing about and I told him Santa etc. He says Santa Rocks except his hat!!!!Now doesn't that sum it all up? :D

MariaO

26-11-2005, 06:30

On a slight aside, I love the good will around Christmas time (maybe not always evident in this thread!) I always remember being in town on Christmas eve and every one being in great form - friends meeting for drinks before going back home, people even being nice to each other in bus queues.

ThomasMum

26-11-2005, 08:04

Dh and I are still very much "believe" in those stuff, we let Thomas to find out himself later on....OR maybe we should tell our kids that Santa is a story that grown-ups tell so they can enjoy giving lots of presents at Christmas time. Will we be able to stick to it?
Watch this space ... :)

TM

rynosmum

26-11-2005, 21:43

Some of my best family memories are those of Christmas morning. My father (Santa) would have visited, wolfed down cookies and milk, left footprints, a special note - all sorts of things. Easter was the same - the Easter bunny was very creative !

My parents kept it going for years - even when we knew better and would still do it if I stayed with them now. Holidays were always a magical time and I want to continue this tradition for Ry and his future brothers/sisters as well. :D