what would you do if you where yur mum/dad

[lovingmotheract]

ok i have the most crazy family my mum hates her mum long story and my pop died when my dad was 8years old so he was the man of the house from that day.

so what i would do if i was my mum or dad was to love me and my brother more than any thing and say that i love you and hug us and to not fight every day and to just be a normal family that cares for everyone.

sorry i'm just pouring it all out now my mum and me had a big fight and she said that she has had stuff that she keeps to her and she will right a letter to me b4 she die and i can read it when she dies that made me mad and upset what can i do about it then.

[lovingmotheract]

ok it's only my family that are crazy :gloomy:

[Nick'sMum]

Hi Rachel,

:hugs: to you and you are definitely NOT the only person with a crazy family.

People who say that their family doesn't have problems of any kind would be lying to themselves.

It doesn't matter how healthly, happy or wealthy you might be, each and everyone of us has problems, now these problems might seem silly or trival to other people but to that person they can be all consuming.

Sounds like your parents have trouble expressing and showing their emotions, sounds a bit like my parents, but I bet they love you and your brother more than anything else in the world.

My dad's father died when he was 7/8 years of age, he had been married previously so my dad's mum got nothing and was dirt poor trying to look after 3 kids.

My Dad's mum was very unstable and my dad used to come home and she her with her head in the oven trying to kill herself.

My dad, his brother and sister were made wards of the state and spent most of their childhood in and out of foster homes and I think my dad may have been sexually abused.

He never went to school and hated authority and was really wild. But he met my mum who was the complete opposite, think pure and straight as the driven snow.

And as for my mum, her mum died when she was only 18 months old so she has no memory of her at all, so my Grandfather could have easily placed my mum and her twin brother in a foster home (which was very common in those days) but he raised them by himself and he was very strict especially on my mum.

So I suppose what I am trying to say is that I think that we are definitely to large extent a product of our environment so your parents may have had some issues to deal with when they were growing up that they have never talked about.

Don't be to hard on them and try to sit them down and talk to them and tell them how you feel.

I know that my parents love my brothers and I to bits, but they sometimes have trouble expressing how they feel, well esp. my dad he used to think that showing us love was to bribe us with gifts (sounds great) but I would have prefered him being around more when I was growing up and just giving me a hug and saying I love you.

We are only now since I have matured and grown up getting along better.

Hope that some of my babble makes sense.

P.S. Now if you really want to know what crazy is ask me some other time about my DH's family.:thumbsdown:

Susan. XX

[lovingmotheract]

thats was nice it made me :crying: thanks 4 that.

[jessgray]

:hugs:
my family are the meaning of dysfunctional and crazy:laughing: if you ever watch the osbournes on tv thats my side of the family too a tee:o
when my mum isnt on her meds (not very often now) she can say some wierd stuff and she tends to withdraw from the world into herself. my grandparents (mums parents) they fight like cats and dogs but still love each other nan says pop would die of starvation wearing dirty clothes if she died tomorow lol

my year 12 co-ordinatior told me " you are not a product of your circumstances, they do not define who you are, who you are ont he inside is what defines you":D