What is wrong with me?

[Shalom]

Hi, My sister has just had a baby (a girl) and for some reason I feel jelous, alone and unwanted.

I have a 16month old dd and get along great with my sister, we are very close. We both live at home with our parents and have 2 other neices.
I was there for the birth with my mum. Lately I've felt like my dd and I have been tossed out the window. My new neice is in SC due to a temp, she's doing really well. Because I'm the 'aunty' I wasn't allowed to stay in there (parents and grandparents only) and I wasn't allowed to change her nappy. When she had the temp, my sis called my mum but no-one bothered telling me until morning.
I get along great with my sis when mum isn't there but once mum comes, it's like I'm tossed out with the trash. I feel like I'm only good enough when there's no-one else around.

My Mum also didn't make it my DD's birth. And I feel as if DD is now being punished for it. She says DD doesn't 'like' her and picks/torments DD. No wonder she doesn't like her!

My Dad also took time off work for my sis which he did not do for me. I feel so stupid and child-like. :(

What's wrong with me and how can I get over it. I just feel like crying all the time when this should be a great time!:crying:

[SixtiesChild]

Shalom,

Maybe I can relate to what you are saying. Firstly, there is nothing “wrong” with you. You simply sound like a passionate person that loves your family. It's normal to want to be included, but a new baby always tends to turn a household upside-down.
What I have realized though with my own mum and sister is that this happens only when I am relying on them for emotional support. Support with my ideas & passions over the years. And as much as I love them, I now understand that they are unreliable at this.
All throughout my 20’s I took it so personally. I expected their support and approval which never happened. I wanted their encouragement in so many ways, because that is how I perceived their role in my life.
So, only recently in my life, I have let go of the idea of leaning on them for support and I now have gradually lowered my expectations of them. This was a painful process but it was something that I needed to do. I feel so much better. It doesn’t mean that I love them less but it does mean that I can move on.
It took me a long time to realize that I was always looking for my mums & sisters approval.

By some chance, are you a creative person?