Some Guidance on DH's please

[Rowie]

Hi All

I am just wondering if anyone can relate to what is happening in my life at the moment and share their story with me to relieve my worry.
We have a very health and happy 3 year old but have had 3 m/c's in nearly 18 months, I have had tests done and expect to get the results on the 27th Feb when I go back to the clinic, D Day I am calling it. DH and I talked yesterday for quite some time about what the future holds, if the results show nothing, I am willing to accept that but am keen to try again, one more time. If the results show something that is easily fixed, I want to fix it and try again, if the results show something sinister and hard to fix then I am not so keen to try again.

DH does not want to try again.....

I want to be able to make an informed decision about where we go from here....

Any help, advice, stories would help, please.

Thanks

[xpectant]

Sorry hun, can't relate at all but wish you all the best with your tests. I hope you can continue to talk openly with your DH and share how you both feel deep inside and make a choice that you are both comfortable with. Here's a :hugs:

[Trumpet]

I cannot imagine what it has been like for you and your DH to go through what you have but I know with a very close friend it was very traumatic for them both and her DH was more concerned that if they tried again then it could happen again and he didn't want his wife to go through that kind of pain all over again, so maybe this could be your DH feelings towards it (I don't know but just a thought)

Just continue to talk openly with your DH like xpectant said.

[munchkin05]

Sorry hun, can't relate at all but wish you all the best with your tests. I hope you can continue to talk openly with your DH and share how you both feel deep inside and make a choice that you are both comfortable with. Here's a :hugs:

cant really add anything else

hope the tests go well

[Rowie]

Thank you all for your input, I know we need to talk openly and I suppose I am lucky that he will. Just have to keep doing it, I think he is a bit selfish and only thinking of what he wants but I will keep counting down the days to the 27th....
Thanks again.

[rennie]

Hi

My first pregnancy went really well with no complications (he is now 3 1/2) My second pregnancy I lost at 17 1/2 weeks. After numerous blood tests they informed me I had Antiphosphlipid syndrom which causes my blood to clot easily. I lost my third pregnancy at 9 weeks due to the same thing. I am now on a low dose asprin and in my 20th week of my 4th pregnancy. My husband had a hard time dealing with the miscarriages too and wanted to cease trying again, the thought had crossed my mind also as I wasn't sure I'd cope with another let down. I know it seems hard to soak in why this is happening to you and how unfair it is (especially when you go out and there seems to be babies everywhere you look), but hang in there and try and stay positive. Wishing you all the luck in the world with your test results and future pregnancies:fingerscrossed::fingerscrossed::finger scrossed:

[damien's mum]

Babe... Don't really know what to say...

:hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: and a million more..

I'm on msn if you need to chat!!

[Towie]

Dear Rowie,
I understand how you feel as I had 4 miscarriages in 12 months so know how heart breaking it is. I also remember vividly the countdown to the day we get the test results after the thrid loss - it was all consuming.

I guess the major difference between our situation is that when we were losing our babies we didn't have any children, not that it diminishes your grief but I guess I was willing to do anything to be able to carry a pregnancy and have a child. In the extreme case we were facing genetic testing of embryos through IVF, which to me was just too ironic given that I fall pregnant so easily. However, my DH was less than enthusiastic about the prospect of this and it was just a case of waiting for the results so we could decide what to do.

Like your DH, mine couldn't face the potential endless heartache and seeing me fall apart each time we miscarried, so I guess I could understand his perspective but it didn't change how I felt.
Luckily for us the problem was fixed by low-dose aspirin and I now have a 3 month old daughter (a similar condition to Rennie - but not quite the same) so it was quite simple.

Perhaps you could ask your DH to reserve his decision until you have the results and take it from there. I really hope it is something simple and easily fixable so he can be convinced to try again.

All the best.

[v8mum]

I too am sorry 4 your losses. I have a healthy 5yr old and also had 3 m/c's in 12months. I had a few complications with the first with a little bleeding but he went on the be a healthy baby. My first was 51/2wk and second 7wk with my 3rd getting to 10wks but i didnt find out until my 12wk scan when there was no heartbeat. I did not bleed with this one. In a way i was lucky it happened at a later date they did tests on the foetus. The baby had down syndrome. After finding this out my hubby too did not want to try again. I too have had all the tests done before my last m/c and they found nothing. Even though it has affected my dh as well being open with each other is the best thing. He knows that i want a second child and has said that whatever it takes then we will try. I am now going to see a recurrent m/c spec at the ivf clinic tomorrow. I don't have a problem falling preg just keeping them. This is something you can put too your husband. They can do testing on the embryo before it goes into you and everything. I think that it is an open door for us women who have 2 or more m/c. There is hope for us out there and docs who do care to help us. Maybe if your dh talked to a doc who spec in this field then it might put his mind at rest. They suffer because we suffer. Hope this helps. And i wish you all the best. :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: