If you were God...

[rainbow]

If you were God - how would you run the world? What would you do to solve problems? What would you want from the people you created?

[JanetF]

I'd start by putting out a press release clearly stating that anyone who claims to have a hotline to Me and saying that I gave them permission to be bigoted, homophobic, misogynist, hateful, judgemental or proselytising is not doing it with my stamp of approval. I never said hate was a family value and my existance is not threatened by those who choose not to know Me. I did give you all the right to think for yourselves, after all. I'd further state that no one has the right to kill in My name, and that I am unbothered by what people call me. It's all the same to Me, after all, since I can understand every language you all speak; I invented them, remember? I'd also like to clarify that my system of designing women to birth and breastfeed is pretty well, um, perfect, if I do say so myself and anyone who says otherwise is going to get a poke in the eye from me on Judgement Day. Depending on my mood, of course. I'd like you all to take a look around and consider the state of the earth that I created for you, and stop pouring fossil fuels and water everywhere like there's no tomorrow. I've seen lots of tomorrows and I can vouch for how crap yours is going to be if you don't start using those brains I invented for better purposes like cars that run on solar. What do you think I gave you the damn sun for in the first place? Decoration? You all talk about how you care for the earth but I'm afraid I just don't see it in your actions! I'd also like to let certain *ahem* "parenting experts" know that I never said babies ought to be fed 4 hourly, left to cry or spanked. Why would I have invented the perfect baby nurturer and put flaws in it? How insulting that you think I would!

Now furthermore, nipples on men do have a purpose but you won't find out until the afterlife, ok? Be seeing you all presently! :)

[cosmic]

Janet, what more could I possibly add to that?

Loved your post. Hear hear to all of it! :D

[DoulaFelicity]

I'd also like to clarify that my system of designing women to birth and breastfeed is pretty well, um, perfect, if I do say so myself and anyone who says otherwise is going to get a poke in the eye from me on Judgement Day... I'd also like to let certain *ahem* "parenting experts" know that I never said babies ought to be fed 4 hourly, left to cry or spanked. Why would I have invented the perfect baby nurturer and put flaws in it? How insulting that you think I would!

I knew there was a reason I loved you. :p

[melfunction]

Janet, what more could I possibly add to that?

Loved your post. Hear hear to all of it! :D


I second that Cosmic :p

If I believed in "God", I think I would probably add some things.......

[carls]

If I was God...

Ready?


If I was God I would make the shops open 24 hours a day. I would also invent money trees. I would invent robots to do our jobs which we still got paid for, and we could control those robots from home.

I would answer peoples questions in a frank and honest matter, instead of maintaining my constant silence, further frustrating people.

I would make us and all animals multi-lingual so there was never a language barrier.

With public transport and general day to day living I'm thinking Futurama meets The Jetsons.

I would invent some miracle fat cure, and some miracle cream to make us look as young as we wanted.

I would erradicate taxes, tight black jeans, t-shirts with stupid slogans, bad advertising, scrunchies, stupid bumper stickers, stupid people (there goes half the population), cigarettes, cheap as chips and other sundry $2 shops, leggings on fat people, mullets....

I would then spend the rest of my time figuring out how to solve all the problems that my choices have created.

[flower]

Its a bit like the Miss America speech isnt it??
"I would eliminate world poverty, stop suffering and homelessness......fight cruelty to animals....stop whaling......feed the hungry....cure the sick......"

Not me necessarily: Me as Miss America.. :rolleyes:
O's mom.

[carls]

Its a bit like the Miss America speech isnt it??
"I would eliminate world poverty, stop suffering and homelessness......fight cruelty to animals....stop whaling......feed the hungry....cure the sick......"

:confused:

What about the shopping and money trees? :D

[JanetF]

If I believed in "God", I think I would probably add some things.......

It wasn't a barrier to me that I don't believe in a christian God ;)

PS My press release also contains a disclaimer about reincarnation: Personally I'm in favour of it as a learning process and because it stops the numbers in Heaven blowing out to all proportion. But if you get here and decide you only wanted one go at life, that's ok with Me! :) And I'm not inventing 24 hour shopping, it's already available in Hell, so you know what to do!

[alicesmum]

I can't really top JanetF's post, but...

if I were God, I would find a way to let all humans everywhere know that no ONE group or religion has a monopoly on truth and that by thinking they do, they create unecessary suffering in the world - a world which is so full of amazingness, but which we seem to be slowly, but surely, destroying.

(oh gosh, i think i might go take a prozac now! JJ! :p )

[nemosmum]

Hmmmm if I were 'God' the following would be my slogan:

Imagine theres no heaven............

No hell below us and no religion too.

Imagine all the people living life in peace :)

ps Hey Im god I can rip off Lennon if I like :D

[JanetF]

ROFL No copyright laws in heaven, right? ;)

[DoulaFelicity]

For the record, I don't believe in "God", either.

I lean more towards the Pagan and Wiccan "religions" if I had to define it (which I'd rather not, as I don't follow anything, really - and to say I do would insult those who are devout in those areas).

Basically I just believe in life, nature, and the divine feminine. :D All of that, I refer to as "Goddess"...if anything.

[wattle]

Maybe we already are God, or a part of God........

[wattle]

An important part. :D

[wattle]

Hmm, well we could get into one of those famous bubhub religious debates........

I don't think God has a brain. That's a bit too tangible. How about just God is.

[H&B'sMum]

IF I was god I would ensure that all reglious wars were not in my name as i created humans to be peaceful creatures not to shot and kill each other. I would make sure that everyone understood that they have free speech but must not abuse that free speech by discrimanting or hurting anyone's feeling with their words.
I would enure that every woman who wanted to be pregnant could without delay and ensure that every mother and child had the ability to breastfeed and be intune with each other from the very beginning.
And I would also make Janet my right hand woman :D as we all know they know more that the boss;)

[tickle]

If I were god I would just make sure that everyone was happy all the time, which would mean all of the tacky beauty pagaent wishes would come true.
Happiness to all, from God (Happy Rady). :)

[DoulaFelicity]

We are all the Goddess. :D

[wattle]

I did hear recently that scientist have found that our solar system or galaxy (?) has the same structure as a cell. Hmmmm, that could make us a very very small part of something.

Perhaps we're a cancer cell. Ewwww, sorry, not a pleasant thought.

[H&B'sMum]

I really hate all things 'Black Hole"........DH tries to explain Stephen Hawkings stuff to me and it makes me want to stick a fork in my eye!
O's mom.

You could try Newtons theory of relativity and jump out of window. That's what I would do!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! LOL :D

[wattle]

Wouldn't that be a chopstick, not a fork?

[red crayon]

my DP has had the day off and has been dominating the 'puter so i'm coming into this late.

if i was god, i would hire harry m miller and organise a publicity tour of the world ('an evening with god') to discuss many of the subjects already brought up by Janet and Harrysmum and everyone else. most importantly i'd want to put into proper perspective the vital role of women. i would discuss how when i created male and female, i did so with the intention that each should hold an equal and special role in maintaining life. i didn't create woman so that she could be declared 'unclean' or 'inferior'; so that she should be paid less than men or denied an education or access to health and welfare. i gave women the capacity to bear children but i also gave her a free will. her body is her own and if she choses to have children so be it, and if she doesn't, so be it. humankind created contraception for a reason and should use it when it is best to do so.

and i would finish the tour by declaring that the next person who violates, injures, maims or kills another human being in my name will get a hell of a smoting :D

ps i can back o's mom's claim that japanese chopsticks are pointier than chinese ones.

[red crayon]

well, i ask you, who else has the chutzpah to represent god?

[sopolicha]

well, i ask you, who else has the chutzpah to represent god?


How about that same dude that is representing Michelle Leslie!! That bloke has more front than Myer. (He is all over the media in Oz today).