VENT - Sorry if it's too long!!!!!!

[lehma06]

I just want to have a vent as I'm pretty upset :(

I have been trying to make some new friends since having DS & everyone I've met are lovely people but I don't seem to meet anyone that I have too much in common with.

All the mums I've met, bar 1 are SAHM'S. I work full time - 5, sometimes 6 days a week. DH works 12 - 13 hrs a day (6 - 7 days a week) & we do everything we can to keep our family strong due to the fact that we both have to work (no choice at present).

I have made some time during some weekdays to meet some mums but I have had to compensate these days off & work a weekend day. I also tried this with playgroup but not much luck there either.

Since meeting the mum's, they've invited me to other things during the week & I have not been able to attend due to having to work. I also notice there are a lot of events held during the day so I cannot go to these either.

Most weekends I have both days off & this weekend in particular I've scored 3 days off in a row. I arranged a BBQ for today & invited everyone that I'd met including some people I already knew.

Some people said they might come but highly doubt it because they've made other plans. Others simply said that they wouldn't be coming because they spend their w'ends with their family. Then there were others that didn't even respond.

I've cancelled the bbq for today out of complete disappointment. I arranged something on a day where most people don't work & it's a nice relaxing day & would have been great for all of us to catch up.

I totally respect all SAHM's but it honestly feels like they have absolutely no idea where I'm coming from & how hard it is for me to get to things, let alone organise them.

I have finally decided that it's useless trying to make new friends because my busy schedule always conflicts with the opportunity to do so.

Is there any other full time working mums that feel the same way as me or are going through the same thing?

It just honestly feels like there's not too many people in my shoes!

Any responses/comments would be greatly appreciated :)

[MrsTwith3]

Im not in your situation but just want to say :hugs: to you. It would really suck feeling like you cant plan anything like that without having the disappointment of people turning you down or just being plain rude and not replying.
I hope things improve for you soon.

Mel

[xkwzit]

Hi
I can see where you are coming from. While I was on maternity leave, I had a great bunch of mums that I caught up with semi-regularly. But eventually, we all started going back to work. While many of us work part time - none of us had the same schedule - so we all fell out of touch. No-one's fault, everyone's busy.

The hub has put me in touch with some ladies who have similar work schedules to mine and so we can catch up every now and then. Of course, when you add children to the blend your life is never as predictable as it was, so sometimes these things fall through too. But we are in similar situations and so understand each other better.

I would recommend trawling through your local chat areas and getting to meets that you can make around your schedule. Chances are, who ever is there will have sim schedules to you.

And lastly, the fact that all your invitees turned you down is not a reflection at all on you. Keep trying, with 14000 ppl here, someone is sure to be in a similar situation to you.

Cheers

[OJandMe]

There's a Dinner on for Brissie Mums next Saturday night.... In the Brisbane thread. You should go... PM the OP for details. It's at 7 or 7:30 I think.

[PomCaz72]

I totally agree with the other posts - people should be more considerate of your situation. I am a SAHM however am considering going back to work to help make ends meet. I am also totally new to Brisbane so appreciate how isolated you may be feeling. Keep positive - friends turn up in the most unexpected places!! Enjoy the unexpectd bonus of a day with your family! XX

[Me]

:hugs: I am also a full time working mummy and find it so hard to make new friends.

I met a lot of lovely ladies whilst on maternity leave but only still catch up with 1 or 2 of them, the rest kept inviting me to weekday things for about a mth after I started back at work, then just haven't bothered since then. Whenever I have tried to organise a weekend catch up I too was always told, "no, that's our family time", even though I was organising family events:banghead:

In the end I gave up and decided that I was happy with the group of friends I'd already made and didn't need to spend my precious time and energy trying to do things with ppl who "couldn't be bothered".

Good luck, keep your chin up, it's hard being a full time mummy and employee:hugs:

[Leeny]

Hey lehma06....Im a stay at home mum, but i totally understand where you're comming from...It must be hard. I'd deffinately try and go to the Brissi dinner, im going to try and go myself.

Im not too far from you, im just at browns plains, but im always free, and I'll be flying solo soon because dh is going back to canada, so i'll be free on weekends. If you ever wana do anything, PM me, and we could probably find a few other mums in the brisi section who have the odd day on a weekend free :)

[remain unknown]

I'd just like to say.. that as one of those who 'couldn't be bothered' as some people have stated in the replies... that this is a totally unfair assumption to make.

When lemah06 was first organising the BBQ I told her that the 4th was not a good day for me as it was a relatives birthday.. so there was 2 weeks notice that I couldn't make it.

Sometimes things come up on weekends which are unavoidable. And while we couldn't make it this weekend.. it's not all one way.... the OP can't make a function next weekend because of prior commitments... but I don't take that to mean she doesn't care... just that she's busy that weekend.

We are sorry that she has been unable to make it to the various organised meets, and are sorry that she has such a busy schedule, but please dont judge us because as we were unable to attend/meet due to our own personal circumstances

[InSaneOne]

hi - i am in a similar work situation where i constantly find i am working 13 days straight and over 40 hours a week mostly when my hubby is home to look after the baby. during the day i try to catch up on housework or just spend time with my baby and my hubby when we can actually spend more than an hour with each other and not be sleeping. it is hard to meet up with other mums and the only way i found to get around that is email and msn. i am not most times when o am not working (not contantly but i check it every so often during the day:rolleyes: )

back when i was a stay at home mum i used to organise meetups too. it is hard to get a lot of people together all at once and it is easier to do something with a smaller group. i have become friends with a few mums in my area and we meet up maybe once a month (or more if we can) and have a coffee and a chat. i work horrible hours, one of the others works from home (and does a few hours too) and the other is a sahm but she doesn't really sah much:p .

i would suggest instead of trying to get heaps of people together aim for just one or 2 and meet up for coffee. or try and get to one of the brissie meetups. either the playgroups or the dinner/lunches that we have. i have yet to be able to attend one of these lovely events but i keeep trying and stay in contact with a few mums that i have meet once or twice through bubhub and msn.

if you want to add my msn to your list feel free to do so and i hope to be chatting to you soon.

[lehma06]

Hi Everyone....thanks for all your replies. It's comforting to know that I'm not the only person finding it hard. This post was purely a vent & there was no direction made at all to anyone in particular that couldn't come. The main purpose for me wanting to meet other mums is so that I can find a nice friend/s that I have something in common with & so that our children have the opportunity to play with other children. Thanks for the suggestions re the dinner, I will look into that. Maybe I should have continued trying to organise the w'end playgroup...I might look into it again :)

[xkwzit]

Now that Lehma has got some suggestions, we'll close this thread. Thanks to all who have contributed.

Cheers