View Full Version : Is 10 weeks to young ?
I need help and sleep....... when could we try CC and know that our son would understand and this method would work........ I must say we did try it one night and he cried himself hysterically till the next feed ( about 50 mins ) and then I read in the Baby Whisper that we had lost his trust !!!! I felt awful and am not sure what to do about his sleeping problems/patterns anymore ???
Hi Heids, even mamas who love CC will tell you it's not designed for babies under 6 months old.
I know it can be really scary and confronting when your newborn cries but it is perfectly normal and doesn't mean you're a bad mama. You just have a little tiny baby who is adapting slowly to life on the outside and needs as much security and love as possible. Personally I'd suggest putting him in your bed to make sure that what little sleep you get is not disturbed by having to get up and settle him. Put him to the breast as soon as he wakes and you'll probably have a quieter time. Babies need to be fed frequently when they're so little and all we can do is set up our lives to facilitate this as easily as possible. All they need is you and lots of love, so have a sleep in the daytime with bubs as well so you can catch up a little. :)
Try these for some more information, PM me if you like :)
I agree with Janet (see - it can happen more than once on this thread!)
10 weeks is definitely too young for CC.
A few things that worked for me - calming baby by rocking or patting or walking while wearing in a sling - then putting baby into bed when they were almost but not quite asleep so that they learn to go to sleep in their own bed.
Check out some of the other threads on here where there are more suggestions - I am short on typing time tonight - sorry!
Thx Janet.... maybe I am to routine and strict but that is my nature. Funnily enough I can get an extra 30 mins sleep in the day if my son sleeps in my bed with me which is everything against what I believe but better for both of us at the moment. Although it is not a habbit I want him to pick up !
I appreciate your feedback
Sometimes when we're parenting a newborn we need to be really flexible about what works. If you and your son get extra sleep with him close to you, then do it! Whatever we can do to improve our lives in this busy time is worthwhile. 70% of the world cosleeps and raises happy, functional adults, so remember that too ;) What you're doing for your newborn isn't going to give him "bad habits" but if you provide love and security you will give him a foundation for the rest of his life.
Yep I agree with JF :)
I used to co sleep with DS in the early days (up until 4 weeks at night, up unitl 6 months during the day) it safed my sanity and bubs grew out of it himself. By the time he was 6 months old he no longer wanted to co sleep which was ok with us.
You have to try anything you can (as long as your comfortable with it) to find what works for you. I have done a whole heap of different things over the last 16 months as DS is constantly growing and changing.
keep your chin up they dont stay baby's forever :)
Funnily enough I can get an extra 30 mins sleep in the day if my son sleeps in my bed with me which is everything against what I believe but better for both of us at the moment. Although it is not a habbit I want him to pick up !
Heids, I say go with what works. Janet is right. 70% of the world sleep with their babies by their side so you have to wonder why we are conditioned to see it as not a good thing. For many people it is the perfect thing! And I think as Orlandosmum said, you definitely won't be stuck with a baby in your bed until he's going to school.. but they are this little for such a short time and he has known nothing else but you for 9mths.. just to be able to see you, smell you and feel your body heat next to him will make all the difference I'm sure.
Hope you get some sleep soon. :)
Thx to you all fo the feedback... I am going to take my son to bed everytime I am really tired until I can get in contact with a private consultant Rene Rees 's www.healthybaby.com.au
Has anyone heard of her ?
We did a version of CC on Ry when he was about 10 weeks (a very gentle version). We found that at that age, if we couldn't get him down to sleep by 7, he wouldn't go down until 11 and he would just howl for ages. It ended up that if he was in Rob's arms, he would cry for about 10 minutes and then go to sleep exhausted. If he was in mine, could smell the milk etc, he would just be frustrated for 4 hours. B/F to sleep didn't work.
One night, Rob put him in bed and instead of the 10 minute cry in his arms, it was done in the bed. I would go in every 2/5 minutes to pat him so he knew we were there. I'd still get up with him at night though but it gave me more sanity in the early evening. After 3 nights it was pretty good but I think a bub's nature has a bit to do with it as well as to whether or not they adapt to it. Consistency is also key. I think if he's still hysterical after 50 minutes, it is very probably too soon.
I used to bring Ry into the bed in the morning so I could get more sleep and would have day naps together whenever possible just 'cause I loved the cuddles. I, like you, was a bit concerned about 100% co-sleeping but many people do find success with it.
I love the Baby Whisperer and am reading the Toddler book at the moment. I don't believe you've lost his trust at all.
Best of luck, call anytime and I'm happy to bring a coffee over for a late night session if you need it. I remember being up at all hours in those days ! Is Dr Phil still on at 1am ? :D
Thx Katrina... I might just take you up on that :p
I think Brandon is quiet stubbon and very demanding just like his mum !
A SPIRITED bub as stated in The Baby Whisperer..............
My dh did most of the feeds this weekend as I am feeding expressed BM at present, so I caught up on some extra sleep and I am ready to enjoy my little man again without it feeling like its a chore and I'm just a cow on legs.
Hehe :D I am sure to get a spirited/grumpy/touchy mix next time as Ry was angel/textbook. Just to keep it interesting. Then I'll be calling you at 1am for advice !!!
Stubborn ?!? Who ???? Nah...... :rolleyes:
I am a childcare worker and for years i was taught to cc- and no cosleeping!!
Boy did that change with my little girl ;) !!!! She co-sleeps with me the majoratey of the time as it is easier on me (more so than her) to feed her in bed 3 times a night rather than up and down with her!!! But it is each to their own!
I would suggest trying to catch upo on your lost sleep during the day- it helps a little bit with the late night wake ups!!
Best of luck!!!
I also read the baby whisperer and basically followed her methods from when Emma was about 6 weeks. It worked fantastically and we knew when she was hungry, tired etc, she went to sleep on her own in her cot and self settled. BUT, Emma & I both got sick with a throat, cold thingy when she was about 6.5 mths old so all schedules went out the window because of that. Since then we have tried everything to get back to where we were & sometimes it's worse than ever! Not sure what to do now??? Seriously thinking about letting her sleep with us (as she sleeps well through the day on most days) but the whole SIDS thing just scares me so much???
Any advice anyone??
Seriously thinking about letting her sleep with us (as she sleeps well through the day on most days) but the whole SIDS thing just scares me so much???
Any advice anyone??
Hi Christine, it is so hard when bubs get sick as we as parents try to look after them in the best way and generally change their routine patterns to fit in with how well they feel. Consistency is key so it may take a while to get her back into the same or a new pattern. Exclusive co-sleeping is not for our family so we just break the bad behaviour and be consistent and gentle with the new - it seems to work for us.
On co-sleeping though, there have been a couple of good co-sleeping threads in the past, there are quite a few mums on BH that use it exclusively. Check out the 'Natural Attachment Parenting' threads. Specifically speak to JanetF about her experiences - her little boy is 2 and they have great success with co-sleeping. She also has some references to information on how to avoid SIDS risks.
Best of luck ! :D
Hiya :) we did our version of it from week one... we also followed the gina ford routines from "contented baby" book. We have the happiest little boy on the planet... slept through 7 till seven from 14 weeks.... actually from 5 weeks with a top up feed at 10:30pm. All is good :) don't get disheartened.
Yep, as others have mentioned 10 weeks is too young.
We did do some CC when our daughter was nearly 9 months old, but really when I think back it was more Controlled Whinging. We could read her whinges/cries pretty well and only did it for about 20 mins in 2 sessions over 2 nights in which she settled pretty quickly anyway and stayed close by and regularly comforted her (just did not take her out of the cot). That is why, if you do it, it is to be for older babies as you can read their cries. I would never try it on a child any younger and you should not need to do it repeatedly over days and weeks etc. If it does not work in one or two short sessions you need to try something else. Never ever let the child get traumatically upset. We only used it with a whinging level as a once off that worked pretty easily. If it is a stressful exercise, then seek other alternatives. But definetly at 10 weeks I would not even try.
Hope that you can work something out. :)
I agree, 10 weeks is way too young to start.
I started by DS at 7 months. I used to constantly rock him to sleep, for every sleep, everyday, got a bit daunting as he got bigger and was too heavy. One day I just decided that it was the day to start, and never looked back. Although he would whinge/cry himself to sleep everytime, until he was about 12 months.
I've just started by DD at 6 months. Although I never nursed Tyllee to sleep to begin with, she would always want me in the room to go to sleep or she would just scream until I placed her in the swing. Big Mistake, but worked! I began last week and already she is sleeping and going to sleep by herself in her cot. Yeah! Not so much of a battle. Only cries for about 5 minutes and then is asleep.
Good luck with your bub, but maybe wait just a little bit longer. I have heard that it is good to start around 4 months, but just remember that bubs sleeping habits change around 6 month mark anyway. :)
I went to my Ped today as Brandon was diagnosed with reflux 2 weeks ago and put on zantac which has made no difference to the state he was and is in when I took him there in the first place ( my husband and I stopped it on Sunday as it was causing more tears than anything trying to get him to swallow it ! ) Told the Ped what was going on and that he didn't seem to show any reflux signs other than not sleeping, he tooooo said bub seemed very healthy and happy and suggested he was maybe a little spoilt and that it is ok for a little one to cry a bit when you put him down for a sleep. He also said Brandon may be getting over stimulated every time I/my husband answer his calls and also making a habit of it at the same time.
I came home and did the settling technique from www.saveoursleep.com which went like this......Cried for 5 mins then I went in avoided eye contact, turned him on his side and patted him on the back ( he stopped straight away ), I left......then after a few mins he started again and I let him cry for 5 mins and went in again and patted and he stopped after 2 mins, I left..... he cried again for 5 mins I went in and patted his back for a bit longer after he stopped crying and he was off to dreamland. This took me 28 mins and he has been asleep for 63mins now. Hopefully it doesn't take any longer than 3 days till he can do it himself as I hate hearing him cry, but they say each time it should be a bit less.
He SLEPT for 84 mins, after next feed and play I left him in his swing ( not swinging ) he self settled and slept for around the same.
I woke him for dinner and bath.. tired signs had come on and a bit hypo due to seeing his dad. I put him to bed..... his crys come on .. I left him for 6 mins went in and patted him and haven't heard from him since.
Told the Ped what was going on .... he tooooo said bub seemed very healthy and happy and suggested he was maybe a little spoilt and that it is ok for a little one to cry a bit when you put him down for a sleep.
Heids, I'm glad that you are finding something that works for you, but I can't believe a paediatrician would say a 10 week old baby is spoiled because his mum doesn't want to hear him cry...? :confused: How can ANYTHING spoil a tiny little baby. Makes me so mad. :mad: Mothers are supposed to not like hearing their baby cry. That's normal! Do what works for you of course, but in doing so - don't ever ignore your maternal instinct. :)
I am with cosmic on this one. I am glad you are finding something that works for you and your baby, but I firmly believe that you cannot spoil a baby under 12 months - and you cannot give them too much love. (Note that this is not a condemnation of anything you are doing - just a comment on the doctor's comment!)
Yup, totally with Cosmic and Draught on this one....some doctors have alot to answer for :mad: I second the comment, "Do not EVER ignore your instinct!!!" that is what it is there for:)
I agree with what the others have said too. You really can't spoil a 10 week old baby... Some doctors are strange.
I am glad you have found something that has made you feel sane again. A happy mum means a happy bub. But don't always believe what the doctors say. They were often educated "old school"... :)
Well done !!!!! Bug cuddles to Brandon ! Now off to sleepyland for you.....
No crying today and still very long sleeps (1 and half hours this morning and same after lunch )
He still can't self settle himself BUT all I have to do is pat him on the bum for 2/5mins, I hear him wake after about 45mins and then he can resettle himself then onto the next sleep cycle.
He sleeps anywhere he likes in the afternoon, pram, bouncer, swing, car seat and naps for about 30/45mins.
Brandon has been sooooooooo much happier, more smiles, giggles and heaps of tummy time.... I even caught him talking to his teady bears today.
We have found SUCCESS :D
That's great Heids. Good for you. :)
Thanks so much Cosmic !
Excellent news! Good on you:D
I cc my son at 15 weeks old it was the best thing I ever did. I have a fanastic sleeper on my hands, I never co slept with my son.. I hve a friend who still does and her child is turning 7 in a couple of months. I am not a great believer in co sleeping but I think each to their own.. we only do the best of what we think for our children.
We're not into the cosleeping thing either. Nat only comes into our bed at night if he's sick. Though if he wakes up early Wade will bring him in for a cuddle with me in the morning, but when he goes back to sleep I usually get up and have a coffee so I at least get one for the day.
PJ has only ever been in our bed once, I think. He's always slept in his cot, so he thinks it's play time if he comes in with us.
But we can put both kiddies to bed at night and they go to sleep and stay there, happy days :)
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