What are the general guides to natural/ap parenting [Archive]

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02-02-2007, 18:28

Hey All

Since joining bubhub i have found myself leaning more and more towards the natural/attachment side of parenting.

I would like to know more about it and what others consider natural/ or ap parenting.

Thanks heaps :D

the_queen

02-02-2007, 18:32

The general "guide" is Dr Sears' books.

http://www.askdrsears.com (http://www.askdrsears.com/)

The 5 basic tenets are:

Natural Birth
Extended Breastfeeding
Co-Sleeping
Babywearing
Gentle Discipline.

But basically it's instinctual parenting, it's following the child's physical and emotional needs and wanting your child to be attached to you, because attached children are more confident and self-assured when it's time to go out into the world. Shed has a wonderful analogy: When you know there's a safety net, you're much more likely to try the trapeze.

Shanaynay

02-02-2007, 18:33

Hi MYLO!

Well traditionally there are 5 tenets of AP.

They are:
1. Natural birth
2. Breastfeeding
3. Co-sleeping
4. Babwearing
5. Gentle discipline

That's just generally, it's not as if just because you don't breastfeed, or because you choose not to co-sleep, or because you ended up with a csec, that you can't follow a natural/attachment parenting style.

But generally NP/AP is all about child-centered parenting...(and that doesn't mean letting the child run wild and letting them do whatever they want :rolleyes: ).... it means putting your child's best interests before anything else and creating a beautiful bond :hugs:

The gentle discipline is a biggie. It really is a whole new way of thinking quite unlike a lot of other people's opinions and views on parenting.

Maybe someone has a good link??
If not I'll search for one and get back to you :thumbsup:

ETA: *snap* Queenie!!! :D
There you go, a link!

02-02-2007, 22:09

Thanks Ladies

Could you recommend any other sites, preferably australian ones. I found another site but probably shouldn't put it here. But if you could PM me that would be great.

Also maybe some book references too. :)

Thanks ladies

I am keen to learn more about what you guys specifically do to practice AP parenting....

the_queen

02-02-2007, 22:27

I guess if your link is about Natural Parenting, then no I don't think you're allowed to link it here, but yeah that is a great place to start :)

Shanaynay

02-02-2007, 22:44

Ditto if I think you found what I think you found?
Does that even make sense? :confused:
(I think my award has gone to my head :p)

I have 'The Fussy Baby Book' which I have only flicked through but looks great. It's by Sears, they also do another one... something about parenting a high-needs child from birth to 5 years?
I'm pretty sure you would find them at a bookshop like Angus & Robertson, or they could order it in for you.

Have a look at this site: http://www.naturalchild.org/
I'm pretty sure it's allowed?

Ok, so hmmmm.... things I do that I think are AP..... well, it's not like I think to myself 'I'll do this because it's AP' - I do what feels right... like Queenie said - it's listening to your instincts.
Off the top of my head - a few of the things I think I do that is an AP sort of thing to do are..............

-Co-sleeping - absolutely love it. Planned to do it full-time from birth with this bub - I couldn't even dream of having her sleep anywhere but next to me. I love the closeness... but what I love most is how much SHE loves it. It's like she's developed some sort of 6th sense... she knows when I'm asleep next to her, when I'm awake next to her... when I get out of bed she knows I've gone...

-Breastfeeding - love it, I'll do it for as long as she wants to...

-Slinging - love carrying her round the house in her sling. She loves it. I love that she sleeps better on my chest than in her pram (albeit a little inconvenient at times!). I'll feel very sad when she is too big for me to wear anymore :crying:

-I don't let her cry... I can't let her cry... I just want her to know that I am there every single moment.

-Toddler tantrums... I find I take a bit of a different approach to tantrums. My todder is 2.5 years. I'm not a believer in ignoring tantrums. Here is a thread that Ryno's mum started: http://www.bubhub.com.au/community/forums/showthread.php?t=58042

Basically I believe in being there for them. I very much like that anology of Shed's that Queenie just mentioned:
When you know there's a safety net, you're much more likely to try the trapeze.

What sort of things about AP interest you?

02-02-2007, 22:56

Thanks Phineas, yep i think i found the site natural parenting and yeah it's an aussie one which i been looking through.

Not sure if there is a difference between natural parenting and attachment parenting, but i'm definately swaying more towards the natural side of parenting.

I BF DS, i have just converted to cloth nappies, i don't like the idea of prams anymore, and if i have another baby, probably won't use one as i'd rather use a sling, i co-sleep and i do really love it, i don't vaccinate and have taken DS to a chiropractor and also used some chinese herbal medicine with him for his excema. So i guess i do things that aren't really the 'norm'.

I also don't like to use panadol and avoid convential medicines and would probably not give DS antibiotics ever, unless it was absolutely necessary.

I am getting intrigued by the natural disciplining of a child, so thanks for the link, i'll go and have a read of it. Especially now that DS is old enough to chuck a tantrum, i'd like to know ways of dealing with it. I normally can't ignore it either, i don't like to see him crying and usually there is a reason for it, because i don't understand what he wants.

I also want to grow my own vegies when we move into our own house and be a lot more self sufficient and eco-friendly with things.

So yeah, just basically having in interest in natural therapies has boosted my interest in other natural methods of parenting.

03-02-2007, 10:28

Just bumping..

Rainbowbrite

04-02-2007, 06:52

We didnt know what AP was till after we realised we were doing it.

We had a gentle birth, we used to co-sleep (MJ now sleeps in her own bed in her own room & she is sleeping so much better), extended bf, cloth nappies, use the sling alot & well the gentle discipline.......we try :o I tend to get very upset at times & I hate it with a passion. I really wish there was some kind of course or group to learn more. Will have to annoy Phineas when I meet her to teach me :p

But basically its doing what works for your family & makes you all happy :hugs:

Oh & the sites you mentioned are great guys :D

ilovechocolate

04-02-2007, 08:36

Hi everyone,
I am so glad that this thread has started, I belong to Sydney AP which I have found to be my bestfriend. After having my first child (finally after so much hard work, IVF attempts etc.) I naturally followed my instincts and kept him close to me I researched slings and started baby wearing and co-sleeping was just a natural thing for us to do, at the time I did not know what AP was. One day I called Triscillian because my B would not sleep when the "book" says every 2 hours for a newborn and baby must be in the cot etc. this broke my heart and being a new mum I thought that these rules had to be followed, the nurse at Triscillian told me to pretend I was on an Island just with my family and to do what I wanted with my children. I do everything that feels right and I don't let anyone pressure me into doing anything with my children that I don't want to do. I have 2 children B 2.5yrs and J who is 13 months, we co-sleep and I love the closeness and the safe feeling of having my family so close together. I still continue to breastfeed etc. I find it hard when I see other parents yell and smack their children and especially when other parents control cry their babies. I really believe that being a mother is easy if you listen to your instincts.

Debbie-Anne

demeter

04-02-2007, 09:34

I'm going to use the AP style/guide for raising children, I've done a lot of reading on it and it really speaks to me.
I'm not sure I'm allowed to paste links to websites where I found the information, so I'll just give you the names :)

The Natural Child Project website (it has hundreds of great articles)

Dr Sarah Buckley's book "Gentle Birthing, Gentle Mothering"

Attachment Parenting International website

The Couple to Couple League website (I only read the stuff on "ecological breastfeeding" on that site)

And then I just did google searches for specific sites or pages about the different elements of natural parenting, which according to Ask Dr Sears are:

Birth Bonding
Breastfeeding (includes ecolgoical breastfeeding)
Baby Wearing (slings)
Bedding close to baby (cosleeping)
Belief in the language of your baby's cry (opposite of controlled crying)
Beware of baby trainers
Balance

MordecaiAliVanAllenO'Shea

05-02-2007, 16:37

Debbie-Anne, what is SYdney AP - an online group or real-life group? If real life, when.where do you meet up, I'd be interested.

One of the main positives of having DH's cousins from India living with us at the moment is to see another perspective on parenting - In Australia some of what we consider is considered "alternative" to others, but DH's cousins weren't even sure what a pram was! AP to me is parenting instinctively, not worrying if it contradicts what some book says you should be doin or your bub should be doing. Like how we feed to sleep - I mean, it just works so well for us, and breastfeeding releases sleep-inducing hormones, so it makes sense to me. I read somewhere (can't remember where now) someone saying how do we expect our children to be close to us if we begin there lives by pushing them away from us - that really resonated with me.

Sorry, I just realised my post is a lot of disconnected rambling, but I hope you can tell what I'm talking about :)

Mel

05-02-2007, 16:53

I get what you are on about Mel. It's so true about society and how they really dictate how we should raise our babies and things that are quite normal in other societies are 'alternative' methods here.

I love the idea of parenting naturally and using your instincts because i went through a lot of stress listening to others giving me advice on my child. If he cries, of course i want to cuddle him, if he sleeps soundly in our bed at night, i am not too worried about it. I am like the idea more about carrying bubs in a sling too, except don't think my back would be too happy about it. :(

Thanks for all the insight guys, i really enjoy reading what others do with bubs.

Shanaynay

05-02-2007, 20:13

Just a quick one MYLO as I'm on my way to bed... but I have a bad back, it's pretty bad as I have a curvature of the spine (oh yeah, and I am 40kg overweight :laughing: :o ), but I can wear a wrap-style carrier (such as Ellaroo or Hugabub) for hours with my 7 month old :thumbsup:

05-02-2007, 20:24