How do you/did you make the decision...?

[sueliz]

I am all about the place emotionally today.

I don't know what to do.

I applied for a part time job that had on site child care and got an interview. The interview went pretty well and I had a great feeling afterwards so rang up the on site child care to find out if I could get my son in.

As it turns out I cannot, and the other daycare I would have liked to put him in can't take him either.

The job is 5 days a week, 5 hours a day so a lot of daycares also will charge for an entire day, so I phoned the guy who is making the decision to tell him I felt I should withdraw my application as I couldn't get into the on site day care and a lot of other day cares charge for the full day so if they had been considering me for the role I felt I should call them now.

He told me they had already made the decision and they were incredibly keen for me to take the job and he was willing to give me until Friday, (they were going to give me the offer today), to see if I could find somewhere I could look at for my DS before they withdraw my application. It's a fabulous job as well - and a great opportunity.

The issue here is I am a mess at the thought of my DS going into a daycare. I would have been happy with an onsite one as I know he would be 5 mins away. I had dreams the morning of the interview about me leaving him at home while he was sleeping in his cot so I could go to work for an hour until my DH came home and woke up crying.

I just don't know if this is my heart's way of saying that I should give up the idea of returning to daytime work because I can't handle not having my son around me every day.

It's ridiculous - I am sitting here crying now at the thought of it.

Please don't get me wrong, I am not against kids going into daycare, and I totally am not judgemental of Mums who work full or part time. But I am just not sure I can do it.

I feel so confused right now.

How did you make your deicions on whether to work or stay home? And if you did have to return to work, how did you cope??

I really need some help on this one ladies. I feel like I am about to lose it.... :crying:

[Me]

Hi Sue.

:hugs:

I am a full time working mum. I put dd into full time daycare at 6mths. my first day back at work was the longest i'd ever been away from her. 7mths on she's fine with it all. there are still days when i cry about her being at daycare and wish that i could be at home with her. for me though i don't really have a choice anymore(i went back to work so dh could start his own business), i guess what i'm trying to say(and doing so badly at!) is that if you do decide to go ahead, there are going to be tough days, but at the end of the day your ds will get to meet and socialise with lots of new friends and if you're only working 5 hr days you'll still get to spend a considerable amount of time with him.

it's a huge decision. :hugs: take the time to think it though carefully.

good luck.

[Hokey Pokey]

It's hard that is for sure, but you have to really give it a go before throwing the towel in. It does get easier once your children settle in and you get used to the change :hugs:
Good luck!

[AquaDevil78]

It's natural to be scared of change, not only will you be working again, but the little bundle of joy that has been with you pretty much 24/7 will no longer be there, i imagine it is the same when your kiddies start school for the first day.

I think you should take the job, and see how it goes, would it be possible to transfer your little one to the day care onsite should a pozzie become open? Is there like a waiting list? or could you ask them to let you know if a spot becomes avail?

If so then it may only be short/ish term that you will be further away than you would like. It sounds like a great opportunity hun... but a hard decision for you to make. :hugs: and Good luck with what ever you decide. :)

[shed]

What about family daycare? is that an option, just until you can get into the other place?

[little mermaid]

I can understand it must be very hard for you. But maybe just give it a try. You could suss out some family day cares close by and in the meantime put your name down on a waiting list for the onsite centre as It might not take long to get a position there.

[mumofcaleb]

Our arrangement is that DP goes to work and earns the money and I keep a nice home and look after our son. I work once very 3 to 4 weeks but now that DS is getting older I am trying to get one day a week while DP will stay at home with him on that day. Other times I get my mother or sister-in-law to look after DS.
We came to this agreement basically because DP can earn more money chefing than me working at the Pharmacy. If I could earn more money than the roles would probably be reversed.

[ZarasMummy]

I feel for you, it really is a heart wrenching decision. I am going back to work in April when Zara will be 7 months old and I am already crying about it but unfortunately I have to, can't afford not to IYKWIM. I hope you make the right decision for you and your family, the job sounds like a good opportunity, maybe you should give it a try and see how it goes. All the best, sending you lots of :hugs:

[Squiggles]

I cant really give advice here as Im not in any position to understand how you feel, but I wanted to say that you should feel extremely proud of yourself for doing well at the interview. As for the day care situation I hope you can come to a suitable arrangement. Just wanted to give you some :hugs:

[Kaileysmum]

What about family daycare? is that an option, just until you can get into the other place?


Thats what I was going to say, I know a few people that have their kids in family day care and they love it.

[Issey]

Firstly congratulations for winning the role, well done!! :smiliedance:

I think you sound ring around and try to find some day care, or family daycare, or ring the council, they often have daycare centres to (well they do in qld).

I would give it a go, what do you have to lose? If it doens't work out you can change your mind, on the other hand you might love it. Grab the opportunity with both hands otherwise you might regret not trying.

My DS goes into care 3 days per week for 9-10 hours per day. He loves the social interaction of the other kids and I love and appreciate our time together more. Lots of families have no choice but to have both parents working. Sometimes you need it for your own self esteem and wellbeing too.

Good luck and let us know how you go.

[motherlylove]

mmm is there family that could help look after bub also see if you can make your hours flexible like start earlier so its all out of the way and you still have dds most active time of the day to spend together

[Michelle_N]

I went back to work when DS was 8 months and he was in a child care centre for 3 days per week from 7.30am to 5.30pm and like one of the ladies said, that first day was the longest and worst day of my life. I rang the centre a few times and they called me to let me know that he has gone to bed or woken up and kept me up to date with the routine.

I fretted for about a couple of weeks wondering if he missed me or hated being there. Worried that it was such a long day. Worried that he would forget me. Worried that it would throw out his night routine. Worried that I wouldnt get to spend much time with him anymore.

When I get to the cc (still do it now) I would peak through the door (it has a glass window) so I could check and see how he was behaving with me not there and he was always having a ball.

And now its 12 months on now and he loves it. Whenever I get there he shows me all the toys and his friends. And he is always happy. I really think it was great for him developmentally as well as they could teach him things that I couldnt like sharing with other kiddies, etc.

To be honest, I miss him everyday that I am away from him and wish like mad that I could be at home with him, but I also think that child care is good for him as a g/f of mine (a child psych) said that it is good and healthy for him to develop relationships with other people and it will also prepare him for when he goes to kinder and then school.

So...after a long story!....child care has worked for my DS and it has worked for me as well as I am able to go back to work and do something that I enjoy. Sure its hard and I miss DS but its only natural to feel that way...mothers instinct at work!

And besides if you try it and lets say after a month you still cant take it you can always leave the job. You always have an option.

Give it a go if you can and try it out. It sounds like you really want the job...and thats not a bad thing. It doesnt make you a bad mother at all. It makes you a more rounded person that you can share different things with your child.

Good luck with your decision. I hope you do take the job...you arent stuck there for life so give it a go!