Scared witless - my poor little man

[Mamaduke]

Lucas has had 2 infections in the last 2 weeks.
It's quite baffling as to why - he bathes every day and he's not a 'fiddler' IYKWIM. These infections have come on so quickly and so strongly.
After his 2nd course of antibiotics (finished today) we went to see our GP who is referring him to a paediatric surgeon for what looks like having to be a circumcision.
The last course of antibiotics really didn't do too much and I now have antibiotic creme which I have to put on 3 times a day.
Lucas is being such a trooper and in the time he's had the infections has virtually toilet-trained himself. He's realised it hurts less if he's sitting/standing at the toilet - what a champion.
After going to the GP I immediately got on the phone to our MCHN to see who she suggested we see.
She said Dr Chris Kimber - has anyone seen him before?
I am absolutely petrified. I hate general anaesthetics and I hate seeing any of my children in pain, but to watch my son at the moment, doubled over in pain begging me to 'fix it please' is just heartbreaking.
It's all I can think about and it's really worrying me.

[misskittyfantastico]

Oh poor Lucas:hugs: (and his mum). I guess all you can do is wait and see. I can't imagine the stress and worry though - Millie grazed her knee and I fell apart.
He sounds like a real little toughy though and I'm sure he'll get through (regardless of the outcome) with flying colours.

[TwoBlue]

Just wanted to send some hugs your way and special big smoodgy ones for Lucas

:hugs: :hugs:

Seeing your baby hurting is so hard, i hope it all works out for the best and soon

[reAllytee]

As ive said hun this is so hard :hugs:

Just try & stay strong until you see the surgeon he may not even want to do anything !!!

Lotsa :hugs: :hugs: sent yours & Lukey's way

[MrsTwith3]

Aww poor little Lukey. Big hugs for him and his mummy:hugs: . It si so hard to se them in pain with an infection there. My DS has had ballanitis, the poor little thing was so swollen and when the Dr went to have a look he (TMI warning) retracted the foreskin just slightly and huge amunts of pus came oozing out. My little fella had such alook of relief on his face as all the pus was making it even moresore due to its swelling.
You may not have to worry as the surgeon might not want to do a circ on him. I was told that they usually grow out of them. :fingerscrossed: for your little one but if he needs it done then having a happy, healthy, pain free boy is all that matters. Goodluck

[~rambox~]

Poor Lucas :hugs: You stay strong cause he needs his mums love and big cuddles and sloopy kisses :kiss:

[Percy]

Reading that makes me feel like crying. It is so heartbreaking seeing your children in pain.

I dont know if it helps at all, but DS had anaesthetic for a tongue tie operation and he bounced right back only a few hours after.It was well worth it. It is still a scary thing to go through though.

I will be thinking of you and your little man:hugs: :hugs:

[Roopee]

no advice MD sorry but i just wanted to send some:hugs::hugs: to Luke and heres some for you too:hugs::hugs:

[*Chels*]

Aww that really must be heartbreaking.Im against circumsion,but I do think if it was my son,I would rather he went through circumsion than continious pain of these infections.I hope it all works out and hes all better real soon:hugs:

[Mamaduke]

Thanks for your support girls.
I made the conscious decision (& persuaded DH to my way of thinking) when the boys were born not to circumcise. It just didn't feel right for my children.
The first thing DH said (when it was mentioned Lucas may have to be) was "Oh poor Jesse...he'll be the only one that's different."
That comment made me very defensive and angry (he straight away apologised - must have been the death stare I gave him), but now little thoughts and doubts are creeping into my head such as...
could I have saved him this pain had he been circumcised?
is this my fault for deciding on something which maybe I had no right in deciding?
if Lucas does have the surgery will Jesse notice & then feel different?
if Lucas does have the surgery will he be able to remember any pain/trauma because he's older?
if genetics does a play a part in this should we have circumcised knowing the problems DH had when he was little?

[Ange&Seth]

Oh Marmaduke :hugs: This must be so hard for you.

First of all I want to say that I am a pro- circer. BUT, having said that, I think that these thoughts you're having re : should you have just gotten them circ'd as babies, will Jesse feel bad that he's different - well basically Chic, that's just not true.

At the time the boys were born, you made the decision not to circ because you felt it was the right choice. And ya know what? It WAS the right choice because it was what you felt comfortable with.

I don't know how to say what I'm trying to say, but I just want you to know that you haven't done the wrong thing by your boys :no: You couldn't have prevented the infections, but at the same time hun, you're not a psychic so there's no way you could have foreseen that he would have complications.

I really hope you see the surgeon and he offers some alternatives to circumcision :hugs:

Hope this makes sense and comes across the way I mean it to ( supportive) :o

[reAllytee]

Thanks for your support girls.
I made the conscious decision (& persuaded DH to my way of thinking) when the boys were born not to circumcise. It just didn't feel right for my children.
The first thing DH said (when it was mentioned Lucas may have to be) was "Oh poor Jesse...he'll be the only one that's different."
That comment made me very defensive and angry (he straight away apologised - must have been the death stare I gave him), but now little thoughts and doubts are creeping into my head such as...
could I have saved him this pain had he been circumcised?
is this my fault for deciding on something which maybe I had no right in deciding?
if Lucas does have the surgery will Jesse notice & then feel different?
if Lucas does have the surgery will he be able to remember any pain/trauma because he's older?
if genetics does a play a part in this should we have circumcised knowing the problems DH had when he was little?

Dont you dare start that cr@p !!!!!!!! :shame:
Or i will come down there & personally deliver a slap !
Hun you did the best thing for your boys because its what you believed was right !
Dont you dare question yourself !
You are a great mummy & you have two beautiful boys to show for that !!!! :hugs:
No-one can forsee whats going to happen in the future we all just do whats best with what we can !

[Ange&Seth]

Dont you dare start that cr@p !!!!!!!! :shame:
Or i will come down there & personally deliver a slap !
Hun you did the best thing for your boys because its what you believed was right !
Dont you dare question yourself !
You are a great mummy & you have two beautiful boys to show for that !!!! :hugs:
No-one can forsee whats going to happen in the future we all just do whats best with what we can !

Yeah what she said !!!! That's what I was trying to say but got side tracked with my waffling :rolleyes:

[MilkOnTap]

Dont you dare start that cr@p !!!!!!!!

Just what I was about to say!!!

Hindsight can be wonderful - but it can also be a curse. Dont blame yourself for ANYTHING! We can only make the choices that we feel are best at that moment in time.

I dont plan on circumcising my little boy - but I'm scared about the 'what-ifs' too. BUT at the end of the day we can only do what we personally think is right.

Big Bear hugs to little Lucas :hugs: :hugs: :hugs:

[Bron]

Hey Mamaduke!

I just wanted to deliver a hug :hugs:

I'm sorry you're having such a trying experience. Poor lad, poor you. :hugs:

[hayleylea]

Im with everyone else Mammaduke. You made the right decision for your boys, and you will continue to do so whatever that may be. You couldnt have known that he was going to get this infections. I wish you all the best with your little boy, whatever happens your his mum and a great mum at that.

[Africamum]

Marmaduke,

Firstly I hope you DS gets better soon.

As for being different, two of my brothers are circumcised and one is not. It has never been in issue for the one that wasn't as my parents always made it clear to him that it was an out dated practise that generally didn't need to be done anymore (in their opinion), also the middle brother had issues with his circ which contributed to their decision.

You make the best decision you can at the time and that is what being a mum is about.

[pegasus]

Dont you dare start that cr@p !!!!!!!! :shame:

No-one can forsee whats going to happen in the future we all just do whats best with what we can !

I'm with her:thumbsup:

Umm - unless you have a crystal ball you haven't told me about. If you do, please lend it to me - I want hindsight for more of my decisions.

On topic - :hugs: for you and Lukey. Tough times when your little man must be hurting, but being a trooper.

:fingerscrossed: The docs can sort it out for him.

[becca74]

Oh MD, Huge :hugs:

I've been in your position, and am still in your position with DS3....tho we havent had any infections yet, THANK GOD.

I know the guilt, but really the girls are right. There is NOTHING you can do to change the past. That is the fabric of this life. All we can do is set about changing the future. The only one of my boys I could be pre-emptive about was my youngest, so at least he will not have to go through what his brothers did. But that still leaves 3 of my 4 that have had to go through these issues.....

cant offer much advice, except that you are not alone, and you can tell your little fella he also is not alone.

In terms of looking the same/different, my DS3 is the only uncirc'd boy in our house......would like to see if we can keep it that way, but as you know by what your son is going through now, I am starting to think I would be better off getting him sorted before the nastiness kicks in, iykwim....and you know me and my feelings on unnecessary surgeries....and here I am having to have to try and work out if this surgery is necessary or not for my boys.....:banghead:

it's tough, hey :( I just wish there was a straightforward answer about these things.

[Ana Gram]

Or i will come down there & personally deliver a slap !


Don't worry, I'll slap her for you.

[MissieK]

Huge hugs. I haven't read all the replies...

Chris Kimber is the doctor that did both my boys & is great :) My boys were done at 6 weeks. He was very understanding with distressed mothers too. He did a great job & we've had no problems.

My son had a hernia op when he was 3 - and bounced back really quickly. I know it's not the same thing, but it was much harder on me than on him.

Mleissa

[MotherNurture]

Two infections in the last two weeks suggests that it's probably one infection that's not being treated correctly or wasn't completely 'cured'.

Do they know what's causing the "infections"? The reason I ask is because many doctors neglect to culture the tip to see what the actual problem is...if they don't culture it, a.) Whatever antibiotic they're prescribing may not treat it effectively and, b.) The "infection" could be yeast---in which case, not only will antibiotics not help, they'll actually exaccerbate the situation.

Irritation can have so many causes...a frequent culprit is bubblebath.

Sometimes, when the foreskin starts to separate from the glans, it can become temporarily irritated; someone on another board explained that the foreskin is delicate tissue, like the lips. You know how easy it is to get a fat lip, and how even a relatively minor injury can cause the tissue to swell to a surprising/alarming degree? The foreskin is like that, too.

Is your son retractile?

I wish you guys the best, just remember that a foreskin doesn't cause infections, just like labia don't cause infections. If you can get to the root of the problem, you may be able to avoid circumcision entirely.

Jen

[Mamaduke]

Do they know what's causing the "infections"? The reason I ask is because many doctors neglect to culture the tip to see what the actual problem is...if they don't culture it, a.) Whatever antibiotic they're prescribing may not treat it effectively and, b.) The "infection" could be yeast---in which case, not only will antibiotics not help, they'll actually exaccerbate the situation.

Irritation can have so many causes...a frequent culprit is bubblebath.

Sometimes, when the foreskin starts to separate from the glans, it can become temporarily irritated; someone on another board explained that the foreskin is delicate tissue, like the lips. You know how easy it is to get a fat lip, and how even a relatively minor injury can cause the tissue to swell to a surprising/alarming degree? The foreskin is like that, too.

Is your son retractile?

I wish you guys the best, just remember that a foreskin doesn't cause infections, just like labia don't cause infections. If you can get to the root of the problem, you may be able to avoid circumcision entirely.

Jen

Funny you should mention bubblebath because just before his first infection that when we were in our pool Lucas would like 'place himself' over the jets and giggle. I would take him away but it was only when the infections started, and you mentioning bubblebath, that it has jogged my memory.
When the second infection started I did take a urine spec with me to the Doctor to rule out a urinary infection but he didn't do a culture from the tip.
Lucas' foreskin is not retracting at all from what I can tell, and I'm not wanting to do much other than put the antibiotic creme on it.
Thanks for your help and I'll definately bring these suggestions up with the pediatric surgeon.

[nemosmum]

aww hun just found this thread....poor lil guy:crying:

I really hope things get better soon for him and you too MD its horrible when they turn to you and say fix it mummy! its heartbreaking :crying: :hugs:

[~Kimba~]

Oh poor Lucas :hugs:. When my DS was born a midwife in the ward noticed he had balanitis within hours of birth (we don't know how, as he was born via c-sect and shouldn't have gotten irritated nor picked up bacteria from my birth canal). He was really red and swollen and couldn't pee without screaming, which made his first days quite traumatic.

I hope that Lucas' infection clears up soon and that surgery isn't necessary (if that's not what you want for him). Big hugs to both of you! :hugs:

[MotherNurture]

It's very normal for the genitals of both genders to be reddened/swollen at birth, simply due to maternal hormones and possibly the trauma of the birth process. It's not uncommon for female babies to have a light, bloody menstrual discharge or for a baby's nipples to discharge a tiny bit of milk.

This is not pathological balantitis. The foreskin is fused to the glans at birth, and the preputial sphincter (foreskin opening) is quite tight, this keeps foreign material out...there isn't a space at that point for anything to collect.

I think if things looked really inflammed, I'd worry that perhaps a well-meaning but uninformed family member or care provider forcefully retracted the foreskin...which would absolutely cause redness, microtears, swelling, pain, etc.

Jen

[MotherNurture]

Funny you should mention bubblebath because just before his first infection that when we were in our pool Lucas would like 'place himself' over the jets and giggle. I would take him away but it was only when the infections started, and you mentioning bubblebath, that it has jogged my memory.
When the second infection started I did take a urine spec with me to the Doctor to rule out a urinary infection but he didn't do a culture from the tip.
Lucas' foreskin is not retracting at all from what I can tell, and I'm not wanting to do much other than put the antibiotic creme on it.
Thanks for your help and I'll definately bring these suggestions up with the pediatric surgeon.

Some people-children included-are really sensitive to chemicles. Bubblebath is a major culprit because it doesn't always get rinsed off thoroughly. You mention 'jets'...like, a whirlpool? Chlorine and other pool/hot-tub chemicles can cause a reaction as well. So can laundry detergent or fabric softener.

My stepson reacts to nickle; even the inside of the button on his jeans causes a rash, and to this day (he's 15) he has to paint it with clear nailpolish or cover it with a bandaid. We recently learned my little one, Quinn (3) is sensitive to bandaid adhesive, and it causes redness/blisters.

You can probably find more information about these kinds of reactions by googling, "contact dermatitis".

Even an antibiotic ointment could cause continued irritation---especially because something like neosporin isn't designed for mucousal tissue.

To get a culture, all they need to do is swab the tip of the foreskin; no retraction is necessary or advisable.

HTHs,

Jen

[Mamaduke]

*************

:smiliedance: GREAT NEWS!!!:smiliedance:

**************

We went to see Chris Kimber today and all is good - thank you Our Lady for listening to my prayers!!!!
Chris was absolutely fantastic, and a lovely man, he had a look at Lucas and retracted his foreskin and commented "excellent". Lucas was in no pain whatsoever when Chris was doing this and his diagnosis was that Lucas must have had some dead skin under the foreskin which caused the infection (one side of the foreskin was still a little 'sticky' but started retracting properly while Chris was examining him) and that his opinion was that
SURGERY IS NOT NECESSARY
as the foreskin is retracting properly!!!

I am sooooooo relieved, you've got no idea!

[MrsTwith3]

Thats great news.....Happy Dancing all round:smiliedance:

[MotherNurture]

What fabulous news!!! :)

Jen

[misskittyfantastico]

YAY!!!!!!!! So very glad that your beautiful boy (and his mum) don't have to go through such an experience :hugs:

[Tulp]

:smiliedance: That is fantastic news. Just saw this thread. How horrible you must have felt before. :hugs:

[xkwzit]

Hi MD
I am so glad that you got the answer you were hoping for - and that poor Luke's problems are getting better.

Cheers

[Ange&Seth]

This is fantastic news :smiliedance: Mamaduke you must feel so relieved!!

See? You were beating yourself up over nothing!! Believe in yourself and your decisions Chic!

:thumbsup:

[pegasus]

Fantastic news MD!!!

Great that Lukey doesn't have to have surgery and that things are looking normal for him.

No pain, all the gains:thumbsup:

[Milliner]

Thats Great news MD!!!!! FANTASTIC!!!!!!!