Blighted Ovum...Anyone else suffer the same miscarriage

[Crazy Monkey]

On Tuesday I found out that I had a 'Blighted Ovum' and had a D&C to remove the remainder of the pregnancy...

Anyone else suffer this? If so, how did you cope knowing that there was no baby to begin with?

Sometimes I think its better that there was nothing (like I haven't lost anything) but then I feel empty because I 'thought' there was a baby and now there is nothing...

Guess just want to see how others have coped?

[RoarsomeMum]

Sometimes I think its better that there was nothing (like I haven't lost anything) but then I feel empty because I 'thought' there was a baby and now there is nothing...

Guess just want to see how others have coped?

:hugs: :hugs: Oh How awful. I think in some ways, it would be harder knowing there was "nothing" My heart goes out to you and your family.:hugs: :hugs:

[*My Lil Blondie*]

my sister had 3 of these:crying:

its very complicated isnt it. im terribly sorry for ur loss.:hugs:

[jo-anne.36]

:wave: there big hugs to you,dh this like when you have a bio pregnaceycey i have had 2 of them i with my own eggs and 1 with donor this the start of a pregnacey the embryos inplant and then it stops growing :( take care hon xxx jojo

[JuniorMinime]

Big Big :hugs: to hun. I don't know what this is like but I can only sympathise with you.

Take it day to day first and talk about it with people around you. Don't hold anything in always let it out.

I hope you feel better soon darl. We are always here for you

[~Emmylou~]

I'm really sorry :(.

I had one of these between my DD and DS. It was pretty awful but I knew from the very beginning that something wasn't right with the pregnancy. I was so sure it wasn't right that I demanded an u/s when I was supposed to be 7 weeks and before it was started I told the sonographer that I didn't expect her to see anything and sure enough that's what happened :(

As bad as it was, like you I kind of found it easier to deal with knowing there was no baby. Before my DD I had a miscarriage at nine weeks and I found that so much harder.
Take care.

[SixtiesChild]

I had a blighted ovum the first time I became pregnant. And being a first pregnancy, I felt that somehow I had failed. My mind couldn't really process it at the time. I felt a bit cheated too, so I was quite devastated.
But I understand it now since I've gone on to have 2 babies after that.
I'm sorry it happened to you :hugs: , I know it's a strange feeling because you don't know how you're supposed to feel about a baby that wasn't there. It's like it's hard to get some closure when that's what you need.
I chose to greive because that was all I knew at the time. It gave me some closure.
3 months after my blighted ovum, I fell pregnant with my dd, and the way I'm seeing it now is that if it weren't for the blighted ovum, dd wouldn't be here. (If that makes sense)

[StrawberryTheMilkshake]

Hi there

I suffered a blighted ovum with my first pregnancy. I actually found out at 10 weeks when i went into full blown labour. Yes, labour:yes: . I was fully dilated and gave birth to a big sac of amniotic fluid and blood. It was cruel watching on the ultrasound, knowing i had adapted for 10 weeks to a baby growing inside me, that the guy said 'theres nothing there, no heartbeat, no baby' and i remember screaming at him to push harder, he wasnt pushing hard enough (although it hurt). Ill never forget that image in my mind. Here was a big black sac on the screen and a tiny white circle down the bottom. So at one stage there was a fertilised egg but it didnt implant and begin to divide.
So, i still miss that baby that was there in my heart and mind... and i think you have to allow yourself to grieve like any other person. It will take time for you to heal because to you and me, there WAS that baby there WAS a pregnancy and anyone who tells you otherwise can go jump.
If i can help in ANY way, i would love to talk to you anytime. :hugs:
AM

[Milis]

Hi Crazy Monkey,

Sorry for your loss hun :hugs:

I suffered one of these last year and found it difficult to deal with for the same reasons you mentioned. At times I thought I would have almost preferred there to have been a baby because at least then there would be something tangible to grieve for. I felt like an idiot grieving for something that wasn't physically there.

However, my baby was real to me, I had thought of names, pictured what it would be like, imagined it growing up, so that is what I grieved for. The loss of the dream of a baby and it is as real to me as any other child would be.

This is how I thought about it and it helped me a lot, but everyone deals with these things differently. It took me 3 months before I was ready emotionally to try again and this time we've seen the bub on ultrasound and know there is something in there. I read somewhere that blighted ovums, although surprisingly common are mostly a random event, a one off.

Hope this helps a bit, please feel free to PM me if you need to talk :hugs: .

[Crazy Monkey]

Thank you so much for your replies... It has really helped me knowing I am not the only one who feels/felt like this...

Up until last night I felt really well and thought I was dealing with things pretty good... But I was still doing things and acting like I was pregnant...like rubbing my tummy and avoiding the things you should while pregnant...

I had a lot of back pain last night and it kept me awake for half the night, with my mind wondering here and there, thinking 'why me'... The pain took me back to Tuesday when we found out, and I was finally about to have a good cry and let a lot of emotions out (hadn't really done this since having the D&C)...

Although there physically wasn't a baby, to me I had life growing in me and the dreams of meeting my little baby in August... Its hard for others to understand what I'm going through, even DH doesn't quite understand but is being very supportive...

Thanks again ladies, you are all fantastic and such a great support

xoxox

[Adria]

I had a blighted ovum back in july.
It totally devestated me. I had a feeling from the beginning that something wasn't right, i was always thinking about a miscarriage.
I thought it would be easier knowing the was no baby, but i think it's just as hard.
It is still a pregnacy, mentally, emotional and physically you prepare yourself for it.
I felt extreamly cheated by my body, like it had let me down.
Dh has recently said that he handled it well, it was more seeing me upset, that upset him.
I have founded it harder as my due date gets closer. My it's just pg hormones as i fell pg 3 months later, but to be honesti i don't ever want to forget that baby that should be here.
PM me if you ever want to chat.

[SamDB74]

Hiya

Really sorry to hear about your news - I have had this happen to me 4 times and it is really hard - luckily for us we did finally have our miracle Ruby in Sept 05. It is difficult for a lot of people to understand as they think - well there was nothing really there to begin with but that doesn't stop your dissappointment at lost hopes and dreams. I think that having to have a DC at the end makes it harder too. I am 6 wks pregnant at the moment and not sure if anything is there - will have to wait for 7 wk scan next Tuesday. Just make sure you let yourself have the time to get your head around what has happened to you and have supportive people around you. Give yourself time to heal and then see what the future has in store for you.