getting bub off the boob to sleep

[dargen]

Hi there everyone, my little girl is 5 and a half months old and I've never posted on any Mum's group forum - but sleep deprivation driven me here. I don't want to do controlled crying or any variation of it but I'm having so much trouble with getting her to sleep. I can't seem to get her off the boob. She falls asleep but every time I take her off she wakes up and I just get so tired and frustrated. Particularly during the day. I wouldn't mind her not sleeping during the day if she was happy but she clearly needs the sleep as she gets very tired and unhappy. I've tried just putting her in the cot and staying with her, patting her and singing etc but she gets hysterically upset that I won't pick her up and she doesn't seem to be able to put herself to sleep without the boob. We went on a road trip holiday recently and she had two one and a half to two hour naps each day at least and she was so much happier for it. At home I'm lucky if she'll go down for 45 mins at a time even if she's really tired. It isn't so bad at night, she'll often let go of the boob a bit easier and stay asleep (thought not the last couple of nights). I've been reading through the other 'no cry' sleep threads and it sounds like there might be a couple of books out there worth reading but I thought I might send out a help call too and see what comes back.

[misskittyfantastico]

Huge, huge hugs to you. Sleep deprivation is the most vile thing I have ever experienced :hugs:

My bub was very much the same as yours and I went nearly (well probably DID go) insane trying to find a solution - I just wanted some sleep.

The best advice I can give you is to give her what she wants, if she wants to be fed to sleep then maybe consider co-sleeping, you can use a side-car arrangement if you don't want to have her "in bed" with you.

As for the day naps, I found the only thing that really helped DD was time. By the time she was 10 months she was having good day sleeps. I just used to get through the day as best I could - sleep when she does etc.

A sling can work wonders too - hugabubs are pretty highly recommended around here.

I hope some of this helps - oh "Parenting by Heart" by Pinky Mckay reaaallllly helped me.

Welcome to bubhub:hugs:

[Mumma_al]

my daughter is 15 mths old now, and she did exactly what your baby is doing.

at 15mths nothing's changed she's still doing it.

I'd get her to sleep and as soon as i'd bend over to place her in the cot - SCREAM and we would start all over again. Frustrating isnt it

Like you i dont like the idea of controlled crying - i tried it at about 5mths , they rekon it takes a max of 2 weeks -YEAH RIGHT, almost 2mths latter its still not working and i gave up.

My daughter ends up in our bed at night now, We start her off in her cot and on a good night she'll come in with us around 3am and sleeps better in with us, some times i think its a comfort thing, other times i think she gets cold in her bed and not for the lack of blankets .

Some nights are worse than others, I've tried to work out why but cant come up with any real answer.

All i can suggest is try what ever feels right. We have put a CD player in her room and play soft familiar music at night which i found is helping get her to sleep faster and stops the problem with putting her into her cot and waking. I've also got Daddy helping to get her to sleep, he bounces her and dances with her until she's asleep - im hoping that she's getting the idea that mummy isnt always there to help her to sleep.

If you need anymore help PM me - I can let you know what we have tried.

Goodluck :fingerscrossed:

[pookiesossige]

Welcome to bubhub hun, and I think that I know exactly what you are going through.. the same thing is happening here- she screams for the boob when I take her off, even if she was fast asleep before I tried to remove her.
I have been reading Elizabeth Pantley's "No Cry Sleep Solution" and following the gentle programs in there... Its been wonderful and we are seeing so much improvement. It's hard to stop myself expecting wonderful results straight away, but if we persist and follow our intuition, we'll both get there in the end...
:hugs: :hugs:

[Jo_Jo]

oh hell, persistants is the key thats if you can get through the sleep deprivation part....lol and with DP and 2 other kids, well i found it hard and my little fella who is 20 months sleeps with me and still has booby to get to sleep, yes i made a rod for my own back...but hey least i get some sleep and lots of :hugs: goodluck and :fingerscrossed: to it,s hard to be totally persistant:yes: but i hear it pays of in the end!!..lol

[tanni_83]

my little fella who is 20 months sleeps with me and still has booby to get to sleep, yes i made a rod for my own back...but hey least i get some sleep and lots of hugs

im the same with elise she is also 20mths. but dh is working night shift and its just me and her so i dont see the harm. i get to sleep (most the time, now im preg its a bit differnt...just hard to get comfy) i dont even wake up to feed her, she helps herself and we even get to sleep in :D not sure whats going to happen when the new bub comes along though, although we have a while to work that out

good luck hun. im sure you'll do whats best for you and your bub and it will turn out fine in the end :hugs:

[Jodiee]

Hi hun
First, welcome to Bubhub, you have come to the best place for advice!
Secondly, huge hugs babe for the sleep deprivation, I remember it very well indeed..

Im glad you asked here, I may not be able to help, but does your cot have a height on it? or even better, is your daughter still in a bassinet? I used to have it up as high as I could, put her down, boob still in her mouth, and just stand there, boob hanging out, until she just fell into such a deep sleep, it came out. Sometimes I would stand there for 5 minutes, sometimes for half an hour, bent over like that, but it worked for me, she used to get some good sleeps that way.
Also another thing worth trying is a dummy, I know everyone has a different opinion on dummies, but sometimes, kidlets just simply need to suck.

Keep us updated!
cheers,

[SilverStarfish]

Welcome to Bubhub!! I think the best part of the forum is finding out that you're not alone, whatever the problem or worry... there's almost always someone else out there that's going through it to - and that always makes me feel a little bit better!


I hope some of this helps - oh "Parenting by Heart" by Pinky Mckay reaaallllly helped me.

Another of her books - "Sleeping like a Baby" really saved my sanity. I was able to check it out at my local library first, but I found it so reassuring that I've bought it.

[kirstenriley]

I was going to suggest slowing taking the boob out and putting in a dummy too, may be changing one prob for another but thats what i do sometimes especially when it feels like you could let go of the baby and just walk around the house with a child hanging of your nipple (also my hug a bub sling is great too)

[dargen]

Hi there, thanks so much for all your support and feedback. I wrote my first post after a particularly hard day and at the end of it I decided to take the little one's temperature just to make sure she wasn't out of sorts. Her temperature was actually up a little bit and over the next couple of hours sky rocketted into a big fever all night. I felt so bad that I didn't realise that the reason she was being a particularly clingy that day was because she was actually out of sorts. I guess it should always be our first port of call to make sure nothing is wrong. I usually do that - but sleep deprivation and declining neurosis meant that I did it a bit later than usual. So we've spent the last couple of days with her in bed beside me snacking whenever she wants. It has been lovely, but I fear that the boob issue is going to be even harder when we get back into some kind of normal routine. I met a single Dad recently who said "the path of least resistance can often be the rockiest road" which made me laugh. It makes sense, but in my heart of hearts I don't feel that bad about it because as many of you have mentioned - letting bub fall asleep at the boob is wonderful and natural and things WILL work out one way or other in the end. I think I will get the no cry sleep solutions book and go from there. Thanks again.

[k2ma]

Good to hear that you have found the reason for sleeplessness. We have a difficult sleeper, like so many other parents. We have found that the best way to get DS1 to sleep is:
to have a bath,
then a bottle,
then to hold him upright on the shoulder sucking his dummy for about 5 mins,
then take the dummy out for a few minutes while he is still settled (asleep or not),
then place him in the cot and give him the dummy.
He used to scream and throw himself around the cot and until we found this worked we had an awful time every night putting him to bed. My DH would spend up to an hour every night patting him and as soon as he went into the cot he would scream. He would not sleep for me at all - day or night. Now he will.

I really hope you are successful with your efforts...nothing worse than no sleep!:hugs:

[dargen]

I wish I could try the dummy solutions... I have tried and tried and can't get bub to take a dummy. I've tried the rubber ones and the silicone ones and different shapes - she just isn't interested! Any tips?

[pookiesossige]

No tips from me about dummies- Ariene won't take one either. But you know what? After reading Elizabeth Pantley's 'No Cry Sleep Solution' I'm so glad she doesn't.

I think that you could possibly benefit hugely from her 'Gentle removal tecnique' also refered to by other mothers as 'the Pantley pull-off'. This is where you teach your bub, gently and lovingly and never depriving them of the boob at bedtime, that they actually don't need it in their mouth to go to sleep. Once they have the ability to go to sleep off the boob (but after spending some time on the boob, of course) they no longer wake billions of times during the night for it.

Give it a go! The book is just wonderful. I felt so peaceful and relaxed after reading it, I felt on top of the world. And her ideas WORK. :thumbsup: :thumbsup: