How has AP enhanced your relationship with your child?

[Foxymoron]

:D I was lying in bed curled up with DD last night, marveling at how sweet and innocent she is.
It occurs to me frequently that I nearly missed out on these moments by creating the whole "us and them" situation that comes with things like controlled crying. I tried it with my first child, when she was 18 months old, after being bamboozled into thinking she had to be in her own bed etc etc before my son was born. All it did was create conflict between my child and I... Along with liberal amounts of guilt and sadness that I was losing her trust. I stopped after 3 days and have never revisited CC with my subsequent children. My youngest is was a very high needs infant, and to this day needs a boobie to settle somteimes. But she has blossomed and gained great confidence, a confidence I don't think she would have developed via any other parenting method. Everyday I am happy that I get so much happy time with my kids, and that it's not spent trying to enforce my will or that of society on them...

What gifts has AP brought to your family?

[JanetF]

That's beautiful, Keara!

I had a really traumatic birth experience being punished by hospital staff for transferring during a hb. So he was taken away from me in those crucial hours after birth while staff mocked me for wanting to bf him. Cosleeping from day 1 meant that he was never away from me again. Breastfeeding gave him what he needed in those hours, as he was sucking his fists furiously from birth, and has continued to be a great source of joy for us both. Especially him ;) Wearing him in a sling has given me such closeness with him, and when he began to go in the pram he seemed so far away. We had lots of skin on skin in his early days, and still do with bathing together and nuddy cuddles in bed. He deserves to be nurtured this way. In recent months I have sat holding him throughout his day sleeps of several hours and this too has been very healing for me, and a way to release some of the terrible grief caused by taking him away from me. The pain of what happened to us will always be there but is much more manageable these days as the PTSD recedes. (I've also had lots of counselling and support etc) I see him now slowly becoming more confident, and outgoing and I know it's because he's doing it in his own time, at his own pace. And we're always there to just support him in those simple needs. Nothing better for raising welladjusted adults with great empathy skills, I say! :)

[Foxymoron]

:mad: I'm sorry to hear of your treatment in hospital! That's outrageous... I can't beleive staff would be so jaded as to scoff at your desire to breastfeed!

I often cuddle my children during their day sleeps if I have nothing urgent to do, it's gorgeous watching them sleep.

How long were you seperated after the birth?
I've been watching some birthing shows on foxtel and I can't get over the way the baby is born and poked at for so long before they get returned to Mama.
The hospital where I'm booked in has some really lovely staff, they don't so much as suction out the babes nose or mouth... just delivered onto your belly to bond. My DD didn't leave my arms for the first hour or so and had a good long feed.

(((hugs))) I'm sorry for what you've been through! AP is very healing :)

[JanetF]

Thanks, Keara :) We were apart for 2 hors. The longest and worst hours of my life that I can never get back. I made an extensive (and how!!) complaint to the hospy and had a meeting with the Health Services Commissioner but they're a big institution so it was all just about avoiding me suing! Not that I would!