View Full Version : How Do You All Cope??
Well seing as I now live in Chinchilla I figured Id join this section.
But there is a reason.... I want to know how you all cope with living away from "civilisation" so to speak...
I grew up in brisbane and have lived there pretty much my whole life now Ive moved out here and Im feeling isolated.
I love living here but its so different. Tim always wants to go out drinkign with the boys and he wats to play foorty and cricket. If he plays footy that means he woudl be away most weekends. Now I can understand him wanting to have a social life- but what about me??
I left all my family and friends behind to come out here for him to work(he grew up here) and now hes wanting to go off and leave me.
Im here alone with skyla all day during the week and now he wants to leave us on the weekends too
I know I have it good compared to some of you who's hubbys work away etc.. and Im sorry if Im winging but this whole move has been so huge for me
I dont know anyone here. I have no licnece at the moment- and well to tell you the truth Im bored out of my brain:(
The best advice I can give you is to go to playgroup! It saved my life! Also just try and be open to anything (I am the least athletic person around and yet in winter I huf and puff round a hockey oval!) you have to really try and get involved in the community - and it can take a fair bit of work - it's well worth it though. I've been in my little (500people!) town for 4 years now and I can't imagine leaving.
If Tim plays footy, just tag along with Skyla and hang out with the other footy ladies!
I too agree with MissK - Join a playgroup! That way you will meet other mums.. Don't worry if they are a bit older then you, they will be just as lovely because they are in the same situation (Living in a small town, limited things to do etc).
Good luck Adele :). I too love living in my little town and couldn't ever imagine living any where else.
Oh yeah Mel, about the age thing! Most are a fair bit younger than me and some are older but they are all wonderful women.
Defiantly! Its good to get out of the house and you'll make friends in no time!
If you are like me, it is over an hours drive to the nearest playgroup... And the local population (what there is of it - no towns here) are mainly octogenarians :laughing:
All I can say, is be prepared to drive, make sure you really like your husband, join a good forum :D, enjoy your kids, have more of them so you can breed your friends ;) and get to know a few of the sheep on a personal basis.
Strangely we seem to be more social now that we are quite isolated - we have people to stay, drive 1.5 hours plus for a dinner party, do lots of long weekends in the city for "kulcha injekshuns" and generally gad about.
Buy a dog and a horse.
Focus on the upsides - sure there aren't many people, but most people are irritating anyway :laughing:
Hone your sense of humour...
The way I made friends was by meeting the wives and gf's of my DH. If Tim is playing footy and cricket, there must be other weekend widows/wives of his teammates.
Get Tim to introduce you to some of his mates partners, especially those with kids; meet up with them at the footy and get the kids to play together. Its amazing how kids start a conversation that can become a great friendship.
From my experience, there are nice women in small towns and gossipy women. Stay away from the gossipy ones as it doesn't take long for word to get around. I have made friends with some great women around here (population 120) but have steered clear of the girls that are gossipy and *****y.
As miskitty said, keep your mind open. Play netball, hockey, tennis and/or join a playgroup. Don't say no to an invite, even to party plan parties as its a great way to meet other mums and have a glass of wine/beer or three.
Invite your friends and family from Brisbane to come and stay for weekends; they will love the change of pace and scenery and the local pub/young farmer types/cowboys. Heaps of my friends have come to stay and they love the bush, the peace and the one pub.
And if you get bored and you are on a farm, do some sheep work. That fills up your day driving around checking sheep :)
tiny thread hijack here (sorry CB).
What do you do if you find a couple, you like the lady, DH thinks the bloke is a deadbeat (and he is right). Or DH has a mate and the wife is a snobby know it all (DH agrees).
Do you ever find people you both like in small places? Or do you just grin and bear it?
(we live in a town of 20, small town of 60 15 minutes away and big town 45 minutes away).
sorry for jumpin in CB
You live in Chinchilla? Is that out Dalby way? lol I get towns confused. If it is... I HATE THAT ROAD!!!!!!!!! bounce bounce bounce bounce! Can't help with boredom sorry - I'm currently a 6hour drive away but soon will be 2-3hrs lol
Jamb: I just grin and bear it and accept that where I'm currently living I do not have many "real" friends.
You live in Chinchilla? Is that out Dalby way? lol I get towns confused. If it is... I HATE THAT ROAD!!!!!!!!! bounce bounce bounce bounce! .
:yes: try driving along there when your realy realy pregnant and need to pee:rolleyes:
thanks to everyone for the replies. Shazbutt(she lives here too) and I are going to go along to "story time" together. Both of us ar too scared to go alone:laughing:
The footy thing- I dont mind if tim plays footy- i just dont like the idea of being left at home while he does it. If he would let us go along and watch then Id be realy happy for him to play- but Im not allowed to go thats the reason I dont want him to play:o
That sucks :(
I sometimes feel like my husband has friends here and I am tolerated because they're friends with him!
lol Don't even start me on small town politics! :)
Sorry I've taken so long to reply here Adele- I've been thinking about you and your problem for the last few days though and I think I've finally got an answer.
I think you need to tell Tim you left your family and your friends for him, well essentially you did, and you're not enjoying it and you are feeling isolated. He needs to be aware and you need to have some time out too. Either socialising with him as a family or he needs to look after Skyla for you to have time with other adult company. It's a very strong family tradition in the country to go to the footy together! Even if it means you're stuck working in the canteen atleast you can meet different people and have adult conversations with someone other than your partner.
He needs to understand cause if you don't like it and feel isolated one day you'll leave!
I live on a sheep station with only my partner and son, so I dont know how qualified I am to give you advice.
However, if you stop your husband from playing football he will resent you and if he goes off and leaves you on weekends, you will resent him even more.
I advise you to go to the footy with him, the other footy players wives will be there and even if you only like one of them, it will be a friendship worth making.
Get invoved in the community, and introduce new hobbies for yourself.
We try........ but i must say it doesnt always happen, for scott to be home at a set time so that i can have an hour to myself to do what I want and it is wonderful when it happens. Not that I get sick of Zane, but its just nice to go off walking and have that time just for me.
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