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ElizaDee
19-01-2007, 14:43
Ok here is the story... My MIL is a bit controlling and wants things done her way even when she visited my house! She had to cook the meals (until I put my foot down and told her to sit, this was not easy) Also she criticised everything I did, now this was prior to Spencer's arival.

Now she will be coming up for the Christening, she HAS to fly with my DH she will not do it alone, so he has to bring her up and take her back with him and since he does business trips anyway I will have to put up with her for 4 days! :thumbsdown:

Now DH and I have discussed everything this morning about how we want to do the lunch afterwards etc. My fear is that she will try to take over and do it herself (just like she did with planting my strawberries last year!) :eek:

How do I make her feel like she is contributing when she isn't, and to keep her from taking over all the preparations etc.?

And to be able to get along with her for the whole 4 days? She tends to want to always pick up Spencer when he is sleeping :banghead: and disrupt him, I really hate that she is like this as she could be a great help to me if she would only be!

She isn't interested in bathing him, changing him, playing with him, she just wants to hold and cuddle him and all he wants to do is lie and play with his toys.

How do I let her enjoy her grandson without annoying him and making life difficult for me? So basically how do I keep her occupied and out of my hair.:confused:
SilverStarfish
19-01-2007, 14:50
Honestly? It might not be worth the trouble of doing anything. Just smile, nod, grin and bear it for the 4 days, knowing that in X number of hours she'll be out of house again.

As irritating as she might be now, things could get much nastier if you guys got into an argument.
ElizaDee
19-01-2007, 14:54
Yes that is fine but I dont want my son's christening lunch ruined because she has to take control, this is my biggest fear!

Plus I am not the best at just grinning and bearing it, I tend to say what I feel and I will more than likely tell her where to go!
SilverStarfish
19-01-2007, 14:58
I see your point....

I have no idea, but I'll wish you luck!

ETA: Maybe everytime she comes up with a "suggestion" say to her very politely: "Thanks for the thought, but DH and I have already made all of the arrangements"

Perhaps after hearing you say it 50 million times over she'll get the hint.
floggadog
19-01-2007, 15:02
can u find her some errands or housework to keep her busy? If she knitted or crocheted she may be able to create something for your babe while visiting.
MILs can make you question yourself, mine does. Believe in what you know is right & stick by it. But if you can - keep her busy and ask your DH to stick up for you when the going gets really tough.:hugs: for you.good luck.
ElizaDee
19-01-2007, 16:49
DH will stick up for me thank goodness!

I have already mentioned to DH to organise some things they can do together while she is here. I will just stay home with my boy and enjoy the peace! :yes:

Oh she does knit but I don't think that will work, but I could try....
Issey
20-01-2007, 22:34
I see your point....

I have no idea, but I'll wish you luck!

ETA: Maybe everytime she comes up with a "suggestion" say to her very politely: "Thanks for the thought, but DH and I have already made all of the arrangements"

Perhaps after hearing you say it 50 million times over she'll get the hint.

Sounds like a good idea to me :thumbsup:

Or can you allocate MIL something to do, something that is not so important to you to make her feel wanted and busy at the same time.

At least 4 days is a short time and she doesn't live next door or something like Everybody Loves Raymond TV show :eek:
tootiredtosleep
20-01-2007, 23:08
I wouldn't do any washing or ironing for a week and ask her to do it all for me! I definetly wouldn't dust either.

If you haven't planned something already, perhaps she can organise a cake for the Christening?

If it was me, I would probably print a "menu" of all the food that you want at the Christening and have it ready when she arrives. I would say "we have it all planned, so you can sit back and enjoy your break"

If she insists on helping say "sure, we will need someone to wash up!"

AS for the other days, can't really help much. Plan a few lunches and take bub with you?

Good luck. MIL are the worst.
H&B'sMum
21-01-2007, 09:11
This is a hard one ED. I like the idea of giving her little jobs to do, like vaccuuming, washing up, may be she could welcome everyone as they arrive, may be holding Spencer, while you and DH organise the rest of the food for lunch. That why she is getting attention with Spencer, she's out of your hair and you can finish organising everything.

I also like the idea of telling her "You don't need to do/think about that, we have organised it all"

May be DH could talk to her on the plane trip that you two have organised everything and she just needs to sit back and relaxe. HE might need to be VERY firm with her and tell her what both your expectations are of her throughout her visit.

If all else fails just keep thinking only 3 days to go, only 2 days to go, only 1 day to go....YAY she's gone.

Good luck Hun.