MnM
18-01-2007, 05:15 PM
:wizard:
Our family is missing the pitter-patter of tiny feet. We hope some wonderful woman will bring this sound to our loving home.
Our family is 2 cats, Mark and me, Michelle. He’s a tall dark and handsome Irishman - I think so - I’m a Kiwi of Celtic descent (brown hair, freckles!). Mark was 2nd of 3 boys, his elder brother a scientist his little brother - 12 yrs younger - an artist. I’m " little sister" my big sis always looked out for me.
We met in the UK. I lived there for 10 yrs before feeling the call of home. My luggage contained an xtra special item: 1 husband! We got married in Scotland 1989, spoilt ourselves with a 6 week honeymoon arrived in NZ the day before his birthday, Christmas Eve. of course my family loved him too!
A fantastic first year home found me PREGNANT. We were utterly delighted, told everyone that Christmas the whole family was together. It was a really wonderful moment – 4 generations , cheers and champagne flowing. (oj for me). A perfect moment to cherish.
We started to plan. My sister shared birth stories, my mum hushed her, my Nana just smiled . We little thought what lay ahead. In January, at 14 weeks, we found the baby wasn’t developing. Dr said we must end the pregnancy. Such a shock I can't begin to say. The Dr said it wasn’t likely to happen again & we should just try again. But, shattered we needed time to mourn, to recover.
But our lives continued to be torn apart. Mark’s elder brother was diagnosed with cancer as we left the UK. His condition worsened. In November 1991 he died. He was only 33, our youngest nephew, just 18 months. Mark was devastated by this on top of losing our baby. We were far away and at a loss to support our sister in law and his parents. We rang often to keep all our spirits up. It was just so tough.
We slowly accepted things. As we began trying again for a baby, I learned I had cervical cancer. Trying to have a family had saved my life! All is now fine, but the surgery meant that natural conception is more difficult, but not impossible. Just keep trying. I didn’t fall pregnant but we didn’t think there was a big problem. My GP never suggested fertility treatment and I never considered we might need medical help to conceive. I just went home and counted out 14 days like he told me to! Looking back I was so busy counting to 14 I forgot: each 14 meant another month had passed.
Although another pregnancy did not arrive we didn't get this checked out. Our minds were on other things- lightening can strike twice!
In 1997, my sister was diagnosed with cancer. The tumour was successfully removed, but it left severe facial damage needing ongoing reconstructive surgery. She felt this keenly, and needed a lot of support keep her going. Her boys were 10 and 7 - she was determined to keep things normal and we all worked to achieve that aim. Over several years she slowly began to regain her life, if not her old self. We all began to look forward. Then in Sept 2001 we learned the cancer had returned, more surgery was vital . Operation day was a long bizarre one – we waited for news of her, and watched the TV in horror – it was September 11 2001. A day when so many lives changed yet we were so grateful to hear 1 precious life had been saved.
And still life didn’t get any easier. In Feb 2002, my Nana died. We were visiting her so that was a blessing and support for my Mum. My Nana’s passing was a gentle one she was in her 90th year and was at peace with it, but it was a sad moment for us all. During our last chat she asked if Mark and I would ever have a child. It sticks in my mind - she had never spoken before, yet she must have been thinking of it quietly.
My Nana was the head of our family, a woman who got things done. She was tireless for us all so when I FELL PREGNANT in mid 2002 I had a wee thought that she had a hand in it! I sent her up a message of thanks.
We were SO delighted, but cautious. It brought back so many memories. We didn’t want to tempt fate so were keeping quiet til all was OK’d. Just as well, as it turned out it wasn’t. Once again we had to go through the grief of ending our precious pregnancy. It is impossible even now to describe the pain. With all we had been through as a family that year Mark and I kept all our grief to ourselves.
2002 wasn't done with us yet though. It ended with further heartache. My sister suddenly collapsed while I was visiting her- a tumour in her neck had burst. It was truly the worst moment of my life. My nephew and I tried so hard to keep her going, but she died in our arms. He was only 17, and should never have had to cope with such an experience. I know my sister would never have wanted that. She was only 48 and her her youngest 14 by now. My poor Mum was devastated at both ends of the year.
We have just kept going, looking after our families, caring for them. Finally we decided to get advice about our lack of conception – was it just dis-stress, or should we be worrying? So off to the Dr. We were stunned to be told that my eggs were no longer any good. The end of our road to parenthood had arrived, unexpectedly and with finality. We went home heads spinning, utterly gutted. That seemed to be that. We had just got to accept it and get on with life. We did our best.
Then, I came across an article about a woman having a family through egg donation. I had never heard of it before. My first thought was if this treatment was for real it could help us fulfil our dream of having a child. But, I was also cautious after so much heartache. Yet I decided that it was worth checking out. I told Mark and we did some research. Suddenly our home seemed alive with hope: we might still have a chance. Parenthood became a real possibility in our minds. So here we are.
This has been very hard to write. It has a lot of sad moments, but also times of love, great joy and hope. Sorry it is so long. Thank you for letting me share it with you and many thanks for your patience and time reading it.
For Mark and I caring for our family has been the most important achievement and responsibility we have. No one can explain why we didn't conceive and carry our longed for child, which has been very tough to deal with. Now, to achieve our dearest wish we need a generous person to help us make that dream a reality by giving the most precious of all gifts – her eggs.
We are a loving, committed, couple. Both of us are optimists. We share a dry sense of humour. Any child would be welcomed into a stable, loving, secure family, with parents grandparents cousins friends who would love them to bits, encourage their every step in life and guide them into happy, loving and caring people. A big extended family awaits them - from NZ to Australia to Ireland to England to France to the USA!!!
We're home bodies, but we like to travel in NZ and Australia, plus the “essential” travel to catch up with the rellies! Our interests are broad - cats beaches, all sport, shoes, coffee, books, cooking, music, plays, travel, movies, history and gardening.
We are looking for another optimist, who is content in herself, is under 35 yrs and who has either completed or has begun her family. If you fit this description and want to help we would really love the chance to get to know you, to explore whether we might want to go forward together to egg donation and beyond.
We are based in Auckland, NZ, but are happy to travel to you, including Australia. Or if you prefer to come to us, we would meet your costs. We would meet all your out of pocket expenses. And of course we would commit our time and emotional support to this shared journey.
If you think that you would like to get to know us better, please feel free to PM me; in every case we will reply to your contact.
MnM (Michelle and Mark)
Our family is missing the pitter-patter of tiny feet. We hope some wonderful woman will bring this sound to our loving home.
Our family is 2 cats, Mark and me, Michelle. He’s a tall dark and handsome Irishman - I think so - I’m a Kiwi of Celtic descent (brown hair, freckles!). Mark was 2nd of 3 boys, his elder brother a scientist his little brother - 12 yrs younger - an artist. I’m " little sister" my big sis always looked out for me.
We met in the UK. I lived there for 10 yrs before feeling the call of home. My luggage contained an xtra special item: 1 husband! We got married in Scotland 1989, spoilt ourselves with a 6 week honeymoon arrived in NZ the day before his birthday, Christmas Eve. of course my family loved him too!
A fantastic first year home found me PREGNANT. We were utterly delighted, told everyone that Christmas the whole family was together. It was a really wonderful moment – 4 generations , cheers and champagne flowing. (oj for me). A perfect moment to cherish.
We started to plan. My sister shared birth stories, my mum hushed her, my Nana just smiled . We little thought what lay ahead. In January, at 14 weeks, we found the baby wasn’t developing. Dr said we must end the pregnancy. Such a shock I can't begin to say. The Dr said it wasn’t likely to happen again & we should just try again. But, shattered we needed time to mourn, to recover.
But our lives continued to be torn apart. Mark’s elder brother was diagnosed with cancer as we left the UK. His condition worsened. In November 1991 he died. He was only 33, our youngest nephew, just 18 months. Mark was devastated by this on top of losing our baby. We were far away and at a loss to support our sister in law and his parents. We rang often to keep all our spirits up. It was just so tough.
We slowly accepted things. As we began trying again for a baby, I learned I had cervical cancer. Trying to have a family had saved my life! All is now fine, but the surgery meant that natural conception is more difficult, but not impossible. Just keep trying. I didn’t fall pregnant but we didn’t think there was a big problem. My GP never suggested fertility treatment and I never considered we might need medical help to conceive. I just went home and counted out 14 days like he told me to! Looking back I was so busy counting to 14 I forgot: each 14 meant another month had passed.
Although another pregnancy did not arrive we didn't get this checked out. Our minds were on other things- lightening can strike twice!
In 1997, my sister was diagnosed with cancer. The tumour was successfully removed, but it left severe facial damage needing ongoing reconstructive surgery. She felt this keenly, and needed a lot of support keep her going. Her boys were 10 and 7 - she was determined to keep things normal and we all worked to achieve that aim. Over several years she slowly began to regain her life, if not her old self. We all began to look forward. Then in Sept 2001 we learned the cancer had returned, more surgery was vital . Operation day was a long bizarre one – we waited for news of her, and watched the TV in horror – it was September 11 2001. A day when so many lives changed yet we were so grateful to hear 1 precious life had been saved.
And still life didn’t get any easier. In Feb 2002, my Nana died. We were visiting her so that was a blessing and support for my Mum. My Nana’s passing was a gentle one she was in her 90th year and was at peace with it, but it was a sad moment for us all. During our last chat she asked if Mark and I would ever have a child. It sticks in my mind - she had never spoken before, yet she must have been thinking of it quietly.
My Nana was the head of our family, a woman who got things done. She was tireless for us all so when I FELL PREGNANT in mid 2002 I had a wee thought that she had a hand in it! I sent her up a message of thanks.
We were SO delighted, but cautious. It brought back so many memories. We didn’t want to tempt fate so were keeping quiet til all was OK’d. Just as well, as it turned out it wasn’t. Once again we had to go through the grief of ending our precious pregnancy. It is impossible even now to describe the pain. With all we had been through as a family that year Mark and I kept all our grief to ourselves.
2002 wasn't done with us yet though. It ended with further heartache. My sister suddenly collapsed while I was visiting her- a tumour in her neck had burst. It was truly the worst moment of my life. My nephew and I tried so hard to keep her going, but she died in our arms. He was only 17, and should never have had to cope with such an experience. I know my sister would never have wanted that. She was only 48 and her her youngest 14 by now. My poor Mum was devastated at both ends of the year.
We have just kept going, looking after our families, caring for them. Finally we decided to get advice about our lack of conception – was it just dis-stress, or should we be worrying? So off to the Dr. We were stunned to be told that my eggs were no longer any good. The end of our road to parenthood had arrived, unexpectedly and with finality. We went home heads spinning, utterly gutted. That seemed to be that. We had just got to accept it and get on with life. We did our best.
Then, I came across an article about a woman having a family through egg donation. I had never heard of it before. My first thought was if this treatment was for real it could help us fulfil our dream of having a child. But, I was also cautious after so much heartache. Yet I decided that it was worth checking out. I told Mark and we did some research. Suddenly our home seemed alive with hope: we might still have a chance. Parenthood became a real possibility in our minds. So here we are.
This has been very hard to write. It has a lot of sad moments, but also times of love, great joy and hope. Sorry it is so long. Thank you for letting me share it with you and many thanks for your patience and time reading it.
For Mark and I caring for our family has been the most important achievement and responsibility we have. No one can explain why we didn't conceive and carry our longed for child, which has been very tough to deal with. Now, to achieve our dearest wish we need a generous person to help us make that dream a reality by giving the most precious of all gifts – her eggs.
We are a loving, committed, couple. Both of us are optimists. We share a dry sense of humour. Any child would be welcomed into a stable, loving, secure family, with parents grandparents cousins friends who would love them to bits, encourage their every step in life and guide them into happy, loving and caring people. A big extended family awaits them - from NZ to Australia to Ireland to England to France to the USA!!!
We're home bodies, but we like to travel in NZ and Australia, plus the “essential” travel to catch up with the rellies! Our interests are broad - cats beaches, all sport, shoes, coffee, books, cooking, music, plays, travel, movies, history and gardening.
We are looking for another optimist, who is content in herself, is under 35 yrs and who has either completed or has begun her family. If you fit this description and want to help we would really love the chance to get to know you, to explore whether we might want to go forward together to egg donation and beyond.
We are based in Auckland, NZ, but are happy to travel to you, including Australia. Or if you prefer to come to us, we would meet your costs. We would meet all your out of pocket expenses. And of course we would commit our time and emotional support to this shared journey.
If you think that you would like to get to know us better, please feel free to PM me; in every case we will reply to your contact.
MnM (Michelle and Mark)