You Can Choose Your Friends But Not Your Family - Vent

[Manxie]

Sorry just need to vent and maybe get some advice for how to deal with "close' relative's comments:mad:

This is what I wished I said to you last night on the phone.

Firstly "Knowing what to expect next time around" will not make any difference to whether or not I have a VBAC or a C-Section. I knew what to expect first time around thanks very much, I have watched at least a dozen births so think i had a fairly good idea .

Are you hinting that I couldnt handle the pain and thats why I ended up with an emergency c-section? As you know I laboured away at home until I was 8cm dilated while DH slept with a couple of panadol and hot bath for company, think I've got a fairly good pain threshold thanks. What bit dont you get about the fact that no matter how hard I pushed DD wasnt going to come out without intervention?

Also contrary to what you have made very clear DH being present in the room did not influence the Dr's decision to give me a c-section. It would have happend whether he was there or not:banghead:

Still upset but feel a bit better now thanks:rolleyes:

[becca74]

bfing at keyboard, typing 1handed

:hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs:

its horrid to have to experience such rampant ignorance.......

hope you are feeling a bit better now....

[lukaelmo]

Numbnut relative...

Sorry you are feeling bad about this... umm are you pregnant again?

[~Emmylou~]

Oh jeez....I can only imagine that conversation :rolleyes:

I think I would've lost the plot too.

:hugs:

[Shanaynay]

Oh you poor thing :hugs:
What an ignorant idiot.
Can't tell you how many people I've come across that assume that I couldn't handle the pain so that's why I had an emergency csec. Mmmm yeah right :thumbsdown:

[damien's mum]

Some people don't think before they speak... And this is what this person has done... how rude of them!

You did the best you could, by the sounds of things.. Don't worry about what they have to say, you have ur little angel with you, as far as im concered, u did ur best to make that possible!

I'm sorry that a family memeber thinks otherwise! :hugs:

[Manxie]

Thanks everyone thats replied

Lukaelmo - No not pregnant! One of my mums group just had a VBAC and I made the mistake of mentioning it to my relative!

Phinas - Yeah it really XXXXX me that she is implying that I was a opting out. I had no choice it wasnt what I wanted but the baby had to get out somehow:eek: :eek:

[floggadog]

Remember , you experienced it ,your life, your baby, you have the power to tell ignorant rellie when enough is enough! I've had one questioning my mothering for 6 years- standing up to them is my only way to deal with them.

[Manxie]

Remember , you experienced it ,your life, your baby, you have the power to tell ignorant rellie when enough is enough! I've had one questioning my mothering for 6 years- standing up to them is my only way to deal with them.

Yep your right, trouble is its always done in a sneaky way, just dropped into the conversation and on the surface it seems ok but I know what is behind the comments. It was also a bit tit for tat as I was questioning some arrangements that this person had made and they dont like being questioned:rolleyes: I am also really bad at standing upto people and would much rather avoid than have any confrontation:rolleyes:

[missie_mack]

Oh aren't some people just weird. You did what you could it didnt work and you were advised to have major surgery we all know the icky bits about having one being sliced open etc and your awake while they do it. You then can't do much for 6 weeks and your scared for life not to mention this risks placed on your life and that of your child.

Yep sounds like you took the easy way out.... I would suggest they come back and talk to me about it once they have done it. :laughing:

[Manxie]

Weird thats a good description.

I think unfortunately it just makes me an easy target for this person, if I annoy them they have always got the "upper hand" as they gave birth "naturally" twice!

Oh well today is a new day, bigger fish to fry:D

[missie_mack]

I think unfortunately it just makes me an easy target for this person, if I annoy them they have always got the "upper hand" as they gave birth "naturally" twice!

Maybe shes great, maybe she's lucky or maybe she's the incredible black hole lol. Thats what I think to myself when my SIL goes on about giving birth naturally and being a real mother :p