I need some support

[mysterygirl]

I have so much going through my mind, I have no-one I can speak to & it's really doing my head in.
My story....
I have a DH & 10mth DS & have just found out if pregnant however, it is the result of an affair which has been going on for some time. I'm so torn because I really DO love my DH although we have some pretty big problems & I really DO love the person I'm having an affair with & it's mutual.
I can't tell my husband... if I decide to tell him until I know for sure what I'm going to do.
I have the full support of the other man no matter what my final decision is but my heart is breaking just thinking about all the possibilities that could unfold.
I feel like I need to face the concequences for my actions head on & confess all to DH & let him be involved in the decision making process but I'm scared that he'll leave me & his DS... and possibly another baby.
I know that I would love both children unconditionally & do the very best I possibly could for them but I don't want to shatter my DH by telling him the truth.
Am I being so unrealistic to think that DH would stick by me & have this baby with me????
I have made an appointment to have a termination but don't know if I can go through with it. If I do, everything goes back to "normal" & If I don't I could struggle financially for the rest of my life & then I might not be able to give my child or future children as good a life as they deserve.
I'm torn & feeling very very alone & don't know what to do. :no:
Thanks for listening.

[zada]

personally u NEED to tell ure DH he has the right to know. Even if u do decide a termination is the best choice, dont u think he still has the right to know about that?

BTW im not being nasty i know how hard it must be :hugs:

[BigGeorge]

Oh boy.... you've definately got yourself into a pickle, haven't you? Here's some :hugs: . Good on you for being so honest, and for seeking advice.
I would have to be honest to DH, I'm afraid. I could never live with myself for keeping such a huge secret.
Good luck, with all your decisions. :hugs:

[brooke]

wow, thats so big news. I think your dh has a right to know either way. do you think you would be able to go on with things "as normal" after it???
thats something you really need to think about.
do you want to be with your dh or the other guy? do you see yourself having a future with the other man????
Good on you for being so honest with us and seeking advise thats the 1st step
sending you a million of these. :hugs:
we will be here for you if you need to talk more

[Blessed Mum]

OK I have to say you play with fire you get burnt as the saying goes thats IMHO. However that does not help you & that is what you are here too seek.

I really feel for you I cannot imagine how torn you must feel you do need to put ur husband in the picture - is there any chance it may be ur husbands child or just more likely going from dates that it is a result of your affair?

I honestly hope you can work this out & get through it

Best of luck

[Guv'nor]

You need to tell your husband. Please don't put it off. My brother's wife found herself in exactly the same position and put off telling my brother for two years. In that time, she had the baby, my brother loved "his" daughter and was utterly devastated to find out that not only had his wife betrayed him but his little girl wasn't his. (DNA has since confirmed the baby isn't my brother's).

Don't betray your husband anymore than you already have. You've acted badly and now you need to face the consequences. I'm sorry if that sounds harsh. I am not trying to be mean, I do empathise with you :hugs: . It must be an awful position to find yourself in. But honestly, you got yourself there and it is up to you to get yourself out.
Good luck, I hope it works out for you the way you want it too :hugs:

[Foxy]

Gee that's such a tough situation. I agree with everyone else, you need to tell your DH ASAP! The longer you leave it the worse it will be. He deserves the truth, and you can both take it from there. Good luck. :hugs:

[kiah]

Things wont go back to normal if u hav a termination.....it is a big deal for anyone to live with especially if u continue to stay with your husband....and not tell him....

...if u do love the person u hav had the affair with and hav their support....maybe u should leave your husband...and face the consequences...at least i suppose u r being true to yourself....


....im just not sure what to write....but i feel very sad for u....your unborn child....and i have to say it...i really feel for your husband.....

....one word...honesty....:fingerscrossed:

[4tiggers]

Mysterygirl, I am wondering if you have thought of why you sought the comfort of another. If dh isnt giving you the love and support that you need and this other person is, can you see a lasting relationship continuing with dh even if you werent having an affair. Before deciding on a termination I would be considering your marriage, 2, 10 even 20 years down the track. Do you really want to stay with him. Your baby son will know if mum isnt happy and I am guessing you arent happy because you are now in love with another. Be honest about your own feelings towards each man. Is this other man married or could you have a family with him ( if you wanted). My sister had a baby to her dh that isnt his, the real father knows and I am waiting for him to come back into the picture. Her son is now 12 and doesnt look a thing like his siblings. The biological father is still without any other children and is feeling quite desperate to know this one. I know it is difficult now but there is a future for you and it will be bright.

[meme]

what a tough one.
i think you need to make a decision about what you want out of life.
what is most important to you.


are you ok with having a termination? if you are it may be easier to sort out with one less person who is involved.
however it is not a light decision to make.
whoever the father is,, you are the mother.


imo even if you choose not to tell your dp about the pregnancy and terminate you need to tell him that the relationship is crumbling. you need to stop the affair and work on your marriage, or get out of the marriage. if you do love your dp, you need to show him some respect and be honest with him.

things may not ever go back to 'normal'.
but that's ok.
you need to do whats right for you, without hurting those around you.

good luck to you.

[bronny-jane]

you have to come clean, for your own sake as well as for your dh, im sure it will be hard, but he really deserves the truth.

who knows how he will take it, i would be devastated if my dh was having an affair, was in love with the women, and she was pg. i wouldnt forgive him, its broken a sacred trust we were meant to share.

[mysterygirl]

Very true that if your going to play with fire your going to get burnt. I'm just finding it difficult coping with being burnt. Emotions are very high. I'm far from perfect but who is? It's not a perfect world we live in.

If I proceed with the pregnancy dh would know the truth, I would not lead him to believe the baby was his, no-one deserves that. I agree he doesn't deserve to be in the position that he at the moment unknowingly is BUT shoulda, woulda, coulda.... what's done is done & it needs to be dealt with.

The "father" has already said if we proceed with having the baby he would want to be part of it's life if it suited me & dh (if still around) but he would step away if dh wanted to raise it as his own.

Am I being dillusional to think that there might be a happy outcome from this situation?
Maybe I should poll it! lol!

To be honest I don't know if our relationship would last despite this pot hole in the road, all I know is that my ds loves his daddy & his daddy loves him, based on that alone I would stay in the relationship because they are awesome together. I wouldn't leave dh but if he leaves me life would go on.

I think the "smart" thing would be to have a termination & protect my family as it stands but I don't know if I could do it.

If I confess to dh then I guess my queries on if our relationship would continue one way or the other would be answered but I don't want to put him through the heartache if I don't have to.

[SalTheGal]

I am really sorry for your situation, I don't think anyone would envy the decisions you have to make.

BUT I think you need to tell you DH as soon as possible.

Like Kiah said if you have a termination nothing will go on as "normal" for you anyway.

Do you plan to continue seeing the other man? If so then you seriously need to look at what you are getting out of your marriage. Yes maybe your DH and DS love each other but is it fair to keep your DH trapped in a relationship that isn't real? Maybe he deserves the chance to choose for himself what he wants from his life- perhaps he would like to find some one who truly loves him instead of being led on under the false pretence that all is ok in your relationship?

All I can say is good luck, you will need it- hope everything works out for the best one way or another.

[lukaelmo]

I am with everyone else, I would just let it all out into the open and see what happens from there...

The decision doesn't have to rest solely upon your shoulders, there's your DH and the baby's dad too. Life is not just black and white, and if you have been having problems with your DH, then perhaps this is not going to be the biggest shock in the world to him.

In my thoughts, if you just deal with this situation honestly and openly, then people may just surprise you... and it will be a huge weight off your shoulders.

I wish you all the best with whatever you decide to do.

[mysterygirl]

thanks lukaelmo

[Angelmist♥]

Mysterygirl, regardless of whether you terminate or not at some point you are going to have to be honest about the affair to your husband.

By the sounds of it, and please correct me if I'm wrong, you don't really love your husband.IMO it sounds like you are staying purely for your DS's sake:(

I think you really need to sit down with your husband and tell him everything.Make sure he's included on all the decisions.

Imagine if you guys stay together and in 5yrs time it comes up that you had a termination.How will he feel?


I really hope things work out for the best for you.No matter what course of action you take:hugs:

[Mum2Bug]

I agree with everyone else.

Your DH has a right to know that the marriage is in so much trouble to the point you have sought company elsewhere and are now pregnant to the other man. You seem to be making excuses for not telling him to "protect" him and you little family and go on as you have been. The fact is that you are married, you BOTH took the vows to enter into this marriage and therefore it is also HIS decision to decide what he wants for your marriage, not just yours. You have to be honest and tell him and if he chooses to leave then that is HIS decision. You cant make the decision to keep quiet and organise HIS position in your marriage. You took the marriage vows, you broke them, and regardless of whether its a perfect or imperfect world, you made the decision to cheat and your DH has every right to know that you have.

[Lil X-men]

Darl you are only going to put him through even more heartache if you dont tell him!!!!
Everything gets out eventually, believe me one day he'll find out the truth and be a broken man.
If he finds out you had an affair years ago and had an abortion, he'd be devastated, if you had the baby and ten years from now he finds out the baby isn't his he'd also be devastated.
There is only one option if you want to do the best thing for your DH and DS and that is to TELL THE TRUTH!!
I don't know if you will like the outcome, he may wish to raise the baby as his own, he may not.
I doubt he'd want this other guy floating around if he did, it would be a constant reminder of your betrayl.

You have to realise that when you do something like this and want to come clean, you have to do it properly and when you do you may not get the result you want from it, that is called consequence.

I sound mean, but I was in a similar situation a few years ago where I cheated and lied for the longest time (no kids involved thank goodness) when I did come clean, my fiance broke up with me and I was devastated, I thought he'd forgive me and we'd live happily ever after!!
But it all happens for a reason I am in very happy marriage now with 1 1/2 kids, so things might look bleak in the short term, but it works out in the end and you come out of it a better person from learning from your mistakes.

Again the truth is the only real way out of this situation, lies and secrets will only bring misery in the long term.
Secrets over a long period of time feel like a 2 tonne weight on your shoulders, you can't sleep properly and nightmares haunt you ( this is what happened to me when I lied over a long period of time).
Please do the right thing and tell your DH.

Goodluck, :fingerscrossed:

[Mum2Bug]

I agree with everyone else.

Your DH has a right to know that the marriage is in so much trouble to the point you have sought company elsewhere and are now pregnant to the other man. You seem to be making excuses for not telling him to "protect" him and you little family and go on as you have been. The fact is that you are married, you BOTH took the vows to enter into this marriage and therefore it is also HIS decision to decide what he wants for your marriage, not just yours. You have to be honest and tell him and if he chooses to leave then that is HIS decision. You cant make the decision to keep quiet and organise HIS position in your marriage. You took the marriage vows, you broke them, and regardless of whether its a perfect or imperfect world, you made the decision to cheat and your DH has every right to know that you have.

Good luck with the future as I believe you are going to need it.

[WeloveHarriet]

Very true that if your going to play with fire your going to get burnt. I'm just finding it difficult coping with being burnt. Emotions are very high. I'm far from perfect but who is? It's not a perfect world we live in.

If I proceed with the pregnancy dh would know the truth, I would not lead him to believe the baby was his, no-one deserves that. I agree he doesn't deserve to be in the position that he at the moment unknowingly is BUT shoulda, woulda, coulda.... what's done is done & it needs to be dealt with.

The "father" has already said if we proceed with having the baby he would want to be part of it's life if it suited me & dh (if still around) but he would step away if dh wanted to raise it as his own.

Am I being dillusional to think that there might be a happy outcome from this situation?
Maybe I should poll it! lol!

To be honest I don't know if our relationship would last despite this pot hole in the road, all I know is that my ds loves his daddy & his daddy loves him, based on that alone I would stay in the relationship because they are awesome together. I wouldn't leave dh but if he leaves me life would go on.

I think the "smart" thing would be to have a termination & protect my family as it stands but I don't know if I could do it.

If I confess to dh then I guess my queries on if our relationship would continue one way or the other would be answered but I don't want to put him through the heartache if I don't have to.

I don't think that anyone can ever say that they are perfect but surely an affair is not something that is ever entered into lightly? Whilst you may not be dillusional I think that it is a little selfish to hope that your husband would want to raise another man's child in the light of your indiscretion.

I think that in this case you need to get everything out in the open and maybe even expect that your worst fears may happen. At the end of the day there is two babies whose lives are going to be changed - your son's as well as the unborn baby.

I hope that you get the answers you are looking for.

[Mummy2Noah]

:hugs: :hugs: First of all sending lots and lots of these!!!!
Secondly i think you hit the nail on the head with the shoulda coulda woulda your not gunna no any answers to your thoughts without coming clean with your DH...
You never no maybe your hubbys love for you and your child is too strong for him to leave you maybe its not but your not gunna no until you talk to him!!!!
And with the termination thats a huge decision for you all, life time decision so i think you need to discuss it with your DH before you go making any decisions at all!!!!
Im wishing you the best for what ever outcome hun and remember you cant change the past but you can the future!!! Mwahhhh

[jojojonsey]

Wow you have a lot of choices to make which means a lot of questions to ask yourself.

If you proceed with the termination will you be ending the affair and making an ongoing commitment to be faithful to your DH? If so - I don't believe you should tell him. You will only hurt him more. Telling him only transfers some of your own guilt- it makes you feel better but if he never suspected anything you have ruined his trust forever. You could loose him and your child could loose their father.

If you have the termination and will still continue to see your lover then where does it end? When you get caught? When your lover decides he wants more? When you fall pregnant again?

If you do not go through with the termination would you let your husband to raise another man's child thinkikng that it was his own? How will the both your DH and your child feel about that once they find out that their lives have been influenced by such a lie? the likelihood of getting "caught" with a lie like this increases every year as DNA technolgoy and legislation becomes part of everyday life. I certainly expect to see legislation to be brought in within the next ten years which says that childsupport will only be paid with paternal DNA proof. There are already many mens groups pushing for this sort of law. You could end up loosing both of them.

If you don't go through with the termination and tell husband - How do you think he will feel? Do you think he will welcome your lover into your lives to share the upbringing of this baby?

In the end termination is always a personal choice - and I am strongly pro-choice. The issue here is that it isn't necessarily the answer to your problems - it won't make things "normal" so te decision is more the question of whether you are willing and able to bring up this child with the love and within the environment that it deserves - even if that means bringing it up alone. And if you choose to terminate are you able to live with the "what-ifs" which is generally harder than the termination itself.

No can be perfect but we live our lives with integrity and learn from our mistakes. I'm sorry (and I'll blame pregnancy hormones) but I'm not going to play nice here and say poor you look at the mess you're in and you seriously need question your definition of "love" .

I wish you all the best and have to say am not at all envious of your position.

[Angelmist♥]

I just have to add......the fact that 'the father' is willing to walk away from the child would be ringing alarm bells for me.

[Acacia]

Hi mystery Woman,

IMO you should definately be honest with your husband. If you have fallen pregnant than obviously you are having unprotected sex with the other man and i believe that is irresponcible and unfair on your husband if you are also having sex with him without a condom. He is unknowingly put at risk of STD's and i know i would be very angry if i got an STD because my partner was having an affair. I know you didnt really ask advice about that, but i think its an important point to make.

I also think that there is something wrong in your relationship with your DH if you are having an affair...like others have said, i think it would be wise to consider why you sort out other company in the first place.

If you decide to fess up to your DH then i would suggest some relationship councelling for you both if you want to keep the marriage going.

As for terminating, i dont think it would "solve" all your problems for your family. The baby isnt the "problem" here...how the baby happened is the problem.

Sorry to be blunt, but i hope honest advice is appreciated and helps to clarify things a bit for you. Best of luck.

[jess_live_die]

u need to tell ur hubby i dnt beleive termination so im the wrong person but u need :hugs::hugs::hugs:

[BigGeorge]

Very true that if your going to play with fire your going to get burnt. I'm just finding it difficult coping with being burnt. Emotions are very high. I'm far from perfect but who is? It's not a perfect world we live in.

If I proceed with the pregnancy dh would know the truth, I would not lead him to believe the baby was his, no-one deserves that. I agree he doesn't deserve to be in the position that he at the moment unknowingly is BUT shoulda, woulda, coulda.... what's done is done & it needs to be dealt with.

The "father" has already said if we proceed with having the baby he would want to be part of it's life if it suited me & dh (if still around) but he would step away if dh wanted to raise it as his own.

Am I being dillusional to think that there might be a happy outcome from this situation?
Maybe I should poll it! lol!

To be honest I don't know if our relationship would last despite this pot hole in the road, all I know is that my ds loves his daddy & his daddy loves him, based on that alone I would stay in the relationship because they are awesome together. I wouldn't leave dh but if he leaves me life would go on.

I think the "smart" thing would be to have a termination & protect my family as it stands but I don't know if I could do it.

If I confess to dh then I guess my queries on if our relationship would continue one way or the other would be answered but I don't want to put him through the heartache if I don't have to.

Correct me if I'm wrong.... but have you already made up your mind? That's the message this post gave me... :o

[Roopee]

Oh Dear.
I agree that you need to tell your DH. I really feel for him- i pretty sure you understand that this would be devastating for anyone to hear.

Put yourself in his shoes? How would you feel if he came home and told you that he had an affair and she was pregnant. Would you be ok in helping him raise that child? I dont think so. Would you be so forgiving to make one big "happy" family out of such a mess?

I feel for you but you have dont this and now you need to sort it out.
Either way, everyone is going to get hurt, you cant avoid that now.

I know it sounds harsh and i guess it is but so is the situation.

What happens if you terminate? Will you carry on the affair? Will you do that anyway? Your DH deserves to live a happy life and your DS also deserves to have parents who are honest and true to themselves, whether thay live or love together or not.

I hope you are able to come to a decision about this and sort it out.

[Tabbyguizmo]

sorry i agree it seems ur not happy in ur relationship if u gonna cheat ur always going to get caught, apart from what u or ur husband want have u stop to think of what getting rid of the unborn baby will go throungh it's alive and needs u, abortion will just be killing an innocent life it was created by ur mistake which doesn't have to be, i think it would be better to tell him and face the truth. i'd rather bring up 2 babies alone than kill 1 and live a lie and unhappy marrage. the unborn needs u u'll find happiness l8ter, i hope things work out but tell him asap or things will get worse. find friends and family to support u and ur lil 1 u'll need them especialy ur child it will affect him please think next time decisions u make don't just affect u it affects more than u think. i'm sorry but reality is harsh. hope it works out and good luck. cya!

[brooke]

mystery girl from your last past it seems to me that you want to keep this baby and that you are un happy in your relationship at present with your dh. Have you spoken to a councellor? i think in this case it may be a good idea.
I hope that you can get all of this out in the open soon. Its such a massive secret to keep, and I can only imagine that it would be taking its toll on you physically, mentally and emotionally! :hugs:

[mysterygirl]

I had counselling last year about the relationships in my life. I new in my heart of hearts that not addressing my issues was going to bite me in the behind sometime but I honestly lacked the courage to be true to myself.

If I'm not going to keep the baby I don't think I could hurt dh anymore by telling him the truth. Since my last post I have had a honest conversation about our relationship. Neither of us is too happy & we're not sure if we should stay together or not, my gut says the later of the two. I'd be surprised if I saw him tonight.

I know I haven't been completely honest with him yet like everyone on bh wants me to be but at least we've started looking at our relationship.

If I'm going to keep the baby I was thinking of making an appointment at couples counselling & tell him whats been going on. Under the circumstances of keeping the baby he needs to know the truth regardless of whether we stay together or not. At least there would be a moderator there that could help him on the spot. Do you think that would be a fair way to do it? If I'm going to keep the baby.

I am still very confused & scared about what may lie ahead one way or the other so excuse me if I'm a bit all over the place.:confused:

[Lil X-men]

you aren't trying to save him the heartache by not telling him the truth you are trying to save yourself from having to do the dirty work cause your too scared of the outcome.
EVERY post you have written you have talked about lying to protect him, you know that is not true, stop trying to convince yourself that you are lying for him!!

IMO you do the crime you do the time, if you want to come out of this at peace with your own conscience then you need to come clean, anything else is just copping out to save yourself from suffering the consequences.

Whether you stay together or not, whether you have the baby or not, he deserves to know the truth and you know it, be stronger person here.

You had to know that doing something like this was going to cause heartache for everyone, you are an adult, old enough to make the decision to have an affair and fall pregnant, therefore old enough to befall the consequences of your actions.

I don't like to sound so harsh, but you are going to have to go through some dark dark days if you want to come out sunny side up at the end of this. There is no easy way out.

[SalTheGal]

I think you have started in the rihgt direction by talking to him bout your relationship, but have the strength to keep going- you need to tell him everything, I know its hard but it will be better for all in the long run.

Oh and just curious- the man you are having an affair with- is he in a relationship too? Does he already have children? If your current relationship doesn't work out will you be with him? Just wondering as all these factors can play a big part in your feelings too.

You owe it to ALL involved (including the unborn child) to be truthful and to sort the mess out once and for all.

:hugs:

[Roopee]

In regards to your question about seeing a mediator- it hink thats a good idea BUT i wouldnt be telling him there. Id be going there to sort it out.
Imagine being dragged off to counceller to hear that not only has your wife been unfaithful for a period of time but that as a resuly she is pregnant? Just think how it would feel to hear that in front of a stranger? I think that would completly strip the poor man of any dignity he has left. Please dont do that to him!

[SalTheGal]

In regards to your question about seeing a mediator- it hink thats a good idea BUT i wouldnt be telling him there. Id be going there to sort it out.
Imagine being dragged off to counceller to hear that not only has your wife been unfaithful for a period of time but that as a resuly she is pregnant? Just think how it would feel to hear that in front of a stranger? I think that would completly strip the poor man of any dignity he has left. Please dont do that to him!

I agree wholeheartedly :yes:

[lukaelmo]

If I'm not going to keep the baby I don't think I could hurt dh anymore by telling him the truth.



I agree with you on this... and I don't think it is you copping out, I think it is you saving him a bit of hurt.

[Lil X-men]

I wish you all the best in making a decision that is right for you and your family and not just the decision that seems the easiest.
Just remember what may seem like the easiest option now may infact be the more difficult road to live in the future, so keep that in mind :yes:

[brooke]

Ultimatley its your decsion. I personally think the mediation is a great idea. if it will make you feel more comftable to be able to tell your dh the truth about your situation then go right ahead!
It sounds to me that your unhappy in your relationship and if it will make you happier to be a long with your son and possiably your second child do it. who are we to judge???

[mummyof5]

Mystery girl, HOw are things looking today? The only advice I can offer is as a partner who's is still with the one who cheated on her.
Don't give him part of the story, as a program we used (PM me if you want it emailed to you, it's very helpfull for both parties) said, flush the toilet. When you admit to the affair, admit to everything, as matters can't get anyworse, your relationship is already at breaking point, and if it is ever to survive (even if only at a co-parenting your DS ina friendly way level), then honesty must start to come into play now. I think the councelling is a must, as it made me feel much more human in my coping and how I was doing. I wouldn't be telling him there, he will have enough feelings to confront there as is.
The termination is something you need to think about on a personal level and also he needs imput too, as some people do accept children of affairs, you never know what you are capable of facing until you have to do it.
I hope this offers you some sort of insight. I am sorry for both of you, having been there. I really hope things work out the best for you.:fingerscrossed:

[misskittyfantastico]

I've just heavily cleaned this thread. I must stress that this section is not designed for members to attack or debate the merits of terminations. Posts of this nature will be removed and infractions will be issued.

[becky_boo84]

I Too Would Tell Him.. Its Just The Right Thing To Do

[ZarasMummy]

I just wanted to say that in regards to staying with DH just for the sake of your ds and their relationship sometimes it's not worth it. Don't get me wrong, my parents divorced when I was 8 and I do wish that circumstances were different and I had both my parents growing up but there is a saying...."Children would rather be from a broken home than live in one."
Kids have an amazing ability to sense what's going on and do you really want your ds growing up in a house where you and dh are just together for the sake of him IYKWIM?

[brooke]

mysterygirl.... how are things going now?

[mysterygirl]

I haven't been on-line for a few days now.
Here's an update...
I have confessed all to DH. It was the hardest thing I have ever done in my life. I didn't want to hurt him but the sad fact is I have & worse still, I knew all along it would eventually hurt him yet I still continued along. I've been very selfish & cruel to the one that loves me most.
Honesty is definately the best way to live & I've learnt many things the hard way.
My DH is obviously devestated but he wants to stay & work things out which I am totally stoked about. It will take a long time to heal his hurt but the process has begun & we've been so much closer on many levels than in the past.
Needless to say I don't want anything to do with the other guy.
My DH & DS are the only ones that are deserving of my love & I'm focused on being the best person I can be for both of them.
I have an appointment for TOP tomorrow. The thought makes me feel really ill.

[*~alegna~*]

:hugs: thinking of you

[Gumby]

Hi there sorry to hear you are in this situation. Does your husband know about the baby? Is there a possibility that it is his? Sorry for the questions.

[Blessed Mum]

My thoughts are with you. It must of been very hard to tell your husband everything.

[Mrs J]

Good Luck with it all and good on u for being honest as it truly is the best policy. May god give you and ur partner the strength to get through this :hugs:

[mummade3]

just wanted to say hugs for tomorrow!! n r u sure the baby is not ur husbands??

[SalTheGal]

Just wanted to say I applaud you for being honest with your husband- many wouldn't but you can be proud that you have faced your wrongs head on an become resposible for your actions.

Good luck today, I wish you all the very best in the world as you move forward with your life.

:hugs: :hugs: :hugs:

[Lisa&Davey]

MysteryGirl, you have done the best you can in such a hard situation. Good on you for stepping up to the plate.

Is TOP your only option now? Good luck with everything if it is your decision but also make sure that it is YOUR decision. You don't want to overcome so many hurdles and then end up resenting your husband.

I'll be thinking of you. If you need an ear to listen feel free to PM me. I am 100% pro choice so will not try to bias your decision. I certainly don't envy the challenge you have set for you today.

I'll be thinking of you.:hugs:

[Mummy2Noah]

:hugs: :hugs: Thinking of you Hun!!!!!
And well done for coming clean your a strong women!!!!!:yes:

[brooke]

mysterygirl! well done for being so honest and telling the truth! :hugs:

[NewMe]

:hugs: mysterygirl.
It is hard to be honest sometimes. Good on you for being strong and stepping up.

Good luck for tomorrow. I will be thinking of you:hugs:

[Lirael]

im really sorry to sound insensitive or rude but what is TOP?

[misskittyfantastico]

Termination Of Pregnancy (DR lingo)

[Lirael]

oh:gloomy:

[Lisa&Davey]

Make sure you come in here and talk if you need to afterwards Mysterygirl. :hugs:

[Becteria]

mystery girl you are very brave :hugs:

[Helen'sHavingTwins]

This makes me very sad:gloomy: although you are very brave to own up to your actions......all the best for your future.

[happymama]

:hugs: for tomorrow and well done for being so honest and so brave. I would hate to be in your shoes.

[mummyof5]

Mystery Girl, good on you for having the courage to face your actions and telling your hubby the truth. I know from personal experience how hard it is going to be for you both, but you can grow closer and make a better relationship out of this.
Thinking of you with your difficult time with your TOP, and sending you some of these:hugs: .