View Full Version : What is it with some people and cleaning?
My DH is giving me the wobblies at the moment. (prepare for a rant)
I am a SAHM and he works full time. When I say full time, he has a desk job and works from home at least 2 days a week and goes out on 2hour restaurant or pub lunches a couple of times a week, as long as he gets his work/hours done he can start and finish whenever he likes.
I do 90% of the cleaning in the house, the kitchen, the bathroom, dishwasher, garbage, tidying toys, clothes etc (you know the drill), the only thing I ask him to help me with is the floors. They are all polished wood and need a good mop once a week, which I can't do alone due to a bad back (which having our 2 kids hasn't helped!). I compromised and vac it once a week and mop every fortnight but now he won't even do that.
He has always disliked it but helped but lately I have to negotiate with him every time to get any help and it turns into a drama, he leaves it till 7pm at night when we are getting the kids to bed to start. When I questioned him about it the other day he basically said it will be the last thing he will do and if he can find anything else to do first then he will!
What is the big deal!!!
It only takes 1/2 tp 3/4hr to do the whole house so its not a big job and I sweep it all the rest of the time.
I kind of know the answer already, he grew up in house with 4 other women and his dad died early, the girls all took care of all the cleaning and he never had to do anything. so I have shot myself in the foot in that department.
I still don't see the big deal.
I see it as something you just do and get it over with whereas he leaves it hanging over him for days putting it off and then gets the sh*ts when I ask when we can do it!
I wonder if I left it how long it would take for him to do anything about it.
My mother is the same, except she has carpet and whenever I take the kids to see her I have to vac the house first because it is so dirty!
I just don't get what the drama is.
anyone help me with this?
Ta
M.
Hey MonMic,
I can't really help you or have any suggestions. But my fiance is the same yeh he works all day. But I ask him to help out around the house and he moans and groans. The dishes he will not do at all I only wanted him to do that once a week but yeh right. Thens not many dishes at night time anyway, just what we used for dinner. As I do them during the day.
As with dinner I only want him to cook once a week so I can have a break. but that hasn't happened yet either.
So I know where you are coming from though.
Harmony83
08-11-2005, 15:49
My goodness, that sounds like my DF!! If its his turn to do the dishes, he will leave them till 8.30pm then get all stroppy that his tired, I don't ask for much help around the house (he doesn't do the cleaning properly anyway!) just to do the dinner dishes, and seriously you'd think I was asking him to scrub the whole house with a toothbrush the way he carries on! :rolleyes:
hey :)
sorry hon... I dont have the answers either - but my DH is the same about lawn mowing... he whinges... *****es... whines... then actually DOES it - and stands on the patio crowing about how good the lawn looks!!! (it would look good MORE often.. if MOWED more often!!!! :rolleyes: )
there aren't any easy answers... sometimes I feel like I am treating my DH like one of my students (you know... if you finish that.. you can have a star for the star chart!!!) men just seem to need more reinforcing for their good work!!
and they certainly dont thank us for the endless list of cleaning we do!!!
note- I can't believe you do the garbage!!!! - sorry ... thats a DH job... DEFINATELY!!!
((hugs))
xx
Mother Duck
08-11-2005, 15:52
Ahhh MonMic
An age old dilema!
My DH works huge hours away - then in bed early coz he starts so early (like 4 bloody 15 this morning!)
Anyway - he is pretty good at helping around the house so I am lucky but just will not do the dishes. Hates it.
I have to say in his favour he does heaps of other stuff - so when I am trying to cook and do dishes on a bad night - I remind myself that this is the one thing he hates to do.
Not really any help to you other than to say - fair enough at how you are feeling!
Thinking of you :)
Veve - I have to do the garbage too!! Even had to run this morning - looking at the truck going past thinking "why is the garbage truck going past today" Hello - placenta brain ! - coz its garbage day!!!
I think a classic DH job is to open and pour a girls wine - not that I am on any at the moment!
the_queen
08-11-2005, 15:56
Hi Monica,
Someone told me once, just don't do any housework for a few days and see how long it takes for him to "wake up" about the issue.
After 2 weeks I had to do the dishes because we ran out of plates.....
So I know what you mean. My DH used to say "because you stay at home, and I work, the housework is your responsibility". Now, because mine works as a mechanic, working from 8am to 6pm 6 days a week plus he's on-call every third week, plus in Summer he regularly does 14 hour days... I thought yeah, it's fair that I do the housework by myself. But when DD was 1, and I got myself a full-time marketing position, a job that could have been the start of a brilliant career, he STILL insisted that the housework was all my responsibility!!! He was still refusing to let me drive HIS car (yes, he still considered it his car.... things have changed now though thank GOD) so I was leaving the house at 7am, to catch two buses and a train into work, and then home again at night - I was leaving the house before him and getting home after him, and I'd trudge in the door and the first thing he'd say is "WHAT'S FOR DINNER" grrrr :mad: he used to be a complete and utter chauvanistic b**tard!!!!
The way I fixed things (and please don't think I'm encouraging you to do this!!) is that I left him. And we only got back together after I was convinced that things had changed. A big part of what changed was the fact that I am now a much much stronger person. And I've told him that if he is going to have old-fashioned expectations of me, then he better earn enough money to support us all forever, because I am not going to go back to work EVER :p
There's a lot more complications in my "life story" so please don't think I left him just because he had unrealistic expectations of my house-keeping abilities. :)
I don't have any advice for you, lovey!! Perhaps you could "go on strike" - don't wash his clothes, don't make his lunch, don't cook his dinner, don't buy the snack foods he likes, etc etc. But explain what you're going to do, before you do it. I treat mine like a toddler, and it seems to work....... ie "I can see you're feeling angry, but it's not OK to call me a lazy b*tch. This behaviour is un-asseptable, and if it continues, you will find that I won't be washing your work clothes anymore" :rolleyes:
Thanks everyone,
Its good to hear others out there in cyberspace have the same dillema!
as for mowing the lawns yes he does that but I have to ask him every time as well, and even then it only gets done if someone is coming over.
I do the bins because if I didn't empty the bin in the kitchen he leaves it till it is completely overflowing and smelly. (when I met him he used to constantly have a pile of garbage in the kitchen as when a bag got full he took it out and just put it on the floor next to the bin and kept going!)
To his credit he does take the wheelie bin out to the curb each week :eek: should I give him a gold start for that?
I don't want to sound like a control freek but I suppose it gets down to 'if you want something done you have to do it yourself'
Thanks everyone!
M.
Shelly68
08-11-2005, 21:02
Well how about next time he wants a bit of lovin, say that you're too tired from doing all the housework.
Or hire a cleaner and pay them to do it, that might get him off his bum, say that it's coming out of his beer money or his whatever money that he gets.
I'm sorry I can't offer more constructive advice, my DH does absolutely everything around the house, we both work part time jobs and share the workload. Truth be known he probably does more than me, but I do split shifts and start at 5.30am then back at work at 5.30pm so inbetween all I want to do is rest.
Shelley68 took the words out of my mouth! I have a reward and punishment scheme. DH and I have separate accounts. He has been really nice to me lately, so yesterday I bought him some nice Calvin Klein pj's and some Armani body wash, but then he nagged about my driving all the way home from work so he didnt get dinner.
If I was in your position, I would take the money from his account and hire a cleaner.
But if you have joint accounts its a bit different :o
Thats craaaazy! He banned cleaning on the weekend? Is that because he is so snowed under with cleaning during the week he thinks he needs a break?!!
I'd be cracking the whip!!
So he works. Big deal - so does every other man worth his salt! Maybe you should start a time line of what you do from when you wake up until you go to sleep and compare it to his day, and also buy pedometers for both of you, so you can see who has burnt more energy during the day! :)
maybe1more
10-11-2005, 16:38
My dp is the same! :mad: He is the youngest of 8 children and still lived a home when i met him,(at 33) and because he`s mum has always done everything for him, (except wipe his bum) he is useless, i told him if he want a happy home then he has to contribute, just because im a sahm doesnt mean im a glorafide house wife 24/7!
hummingbird
10-11-2005, 17:46
two words:
blow job :D
gets them every time. that's if your not too tired from doing most of it yourself anyway.
lol - it's so sad you just gotta!!!
When I first moved in with my DH, he admitted to me that he didn't know how to clean anything, as his mum had always done it for him (note - only child). Fair enough, I thought. He agreed to me teaching him how to clean.
I taught him how to do the dishes (yes, I'm serious) - how you have to wash each thing individually, not just pick up a pile of plates and swish 'em through the water. I taught him how to make the bed, cook, do the laundry, clean the shower (he won't touch the toilet!), and all the other stuff.
For the first month or so (when you're both still in 'good behaviour' mode) he was great, then it went down to taking the garbage out, and doing the dishes.
Then we moved house. Taking the garbage out had to be asked for, and was often left til overflowing and smelly. Doing the dishes.....I had the same problem as the_queen - I was advised to leave 'em and *gently* remind him that they needed doing. Now, this house had a stupidly long kitchen bench (almost 4 meters) and we had been given about 6 dinner and cutlery sets - most of which were a set for 6 or so people. So 36ish of everything. Even stacked, we still had to fill the sink because the bench was over flowing! :eek: It took me over a week to catch up on all the dishes, beacuse the brainiac who gave me the suggestion said not to rinse anything as well = lots of scrubbing!!
I tried leaving the laundry for him. Same deal. Tried getting him just to fold his stuff. Nuh uh. Sigh.
Mind you - at the time of this, we both had jobs on and off - but in the 4 1/2 years we've been together, I've only been out of work for 2 weeks - and thats because I burnt out from the stressful job I was in. Due to a whole heap of reasons, dh hasn't always been in work - so he's spent the most time at home.
We've tried writing up all the chores on a white board and initalling them when we finish one. We've tried setting aside a day to do them in. We've tried having set days to do each chore. We've tried a whole heap of different things. None of it seems to work.
I think men like the novelty of it - and then when that wears off, it's like 'where's the computer/telly/couch???'
At the moment, my dh does take the garbage out (when asked) and cleans out my cats tray (cause I'm not meant to), and carries the baskets of washing up and down the stairs for me. He's the one that's working out of the house the most now (he's actually doing 7 days a week), so I'm not being too hard on him - plus, after 4 years of trying, I've kind of resigned myself to the fact that it's just not gunna happen.
I don't mind cooking - and I've narrowed our plate and cutlery selection down to just one set, so the dishes aren't too bad - but pushing a vaccume cleaner around is tiring! (It's an older style one, so it takes more grunt to use it)
I love him to bits, I really do - but there are days where you just wanna tear your hair out because they leave it all up to you!!!!
Sorry that I've just contributed to the rant instead of helping the problem. I wish you every bit of luck in finding something that works for you!!!
OK I have a story thats going to knock your socks off.
My father, who is 54 next year, still has his shirts ironed by his mum, his house cleaned by his mum every 2 weeks, and his shopping done by his mum!!! And he is engaged, but not living with his fiance yet!
My grandmother, the sucker that she is, is a compulsive shopper of items such as cleaning products, toilet paper and toothpaste. She has an entire ROOM full of it. So he goes up to her house with a shopping list and she packs everything he needs into a bag!
CAN YOU BELIEVE IT????!!!!
OMG :eek: Carls that is bad!
Reminds me of one of my distant cousins.
Mum had 2 boys (in their late 30's) who both still live at home because she does everything for them!
One moved out once for 6 months and she used to go ever and clean and shop for him because he didn't know how! Once the lease was up he moved back.
Don't you just want to go up and give some of these mums a kick!
I know they mean well but relaly girls let them grow up!
My DH travels regularily for work, so even if I do get him into a good habit as soon as he goes away he 'forgets' and doesn't do anything when he gets back.
I gave up doing his washing a while ago after a fight about his lack of help, and I overheard him ata BBQ one day asking another dad if he had to do his own laundry, the guy said yes! (HA!) so he struck out there. :D
I have resigned myself to the idea that I will need to pay someone to help which I really don't like. As I said before I really don't see the big deal about doing it, but I can't do it by myself. I saw an add at the local shops for a cleaner for $20 an hour I figure it wouldn't take too long if I just get someone to mop the floors which is the main chore I can't do.
Unfortunately we have joint bank accounts so I can't dock his! but if he ever complains about me spending to much well I know something he can do to help!
As for the blow job:
A: why aren't I getting one :mad: and
B: I doubt it would work. :(
Hi MonMic,
I do all the housework, all the bin stuff, all the washing, hanging out, taking in, folding (I refuse to iron), all the dishwasher stacking, all the dishwasher unloading, all the nappy changes, all the baths, all the feeds and all the get ups when she needs it. I get some help with dinner (my mum does that three nights a week). My partner does the money making (office job) and some cuddling... seems unfair huh? Bt then I get to do all the fun spending of said money.. which I love ;)
Well, there *has* to be a bright side :D
whatwasithinking
13-11-2005, 13:21
Hi MonMic,
I do all the housework, all the bin stuff, all the washing, hanging out, taking in, folding (I refuse to iron), all the dishwasher stacking, all the dishwasher unloading, all the nappy changes, all the baths, all the feeds and all the get ups when she needs it. I get some help with dinner (my mum does that three nights a week). My partner does the money making (office job) and some cuddling... seems unfair huh? Bt then I get to do all the fun spending of said money.. which I love ;)
Well, there *has* to be a bright side :D
OMG - that's my life - except I don't get help with dinner and well I'm the dishwasher :rolleyes: .
YES,
If DH ever complains about what I spend running the house I snap him back real quick. After all if he isn't going to help then he can't complain about how I do it!
although I have got in trouble for maxing out the cradit card a bit lately. i started doing some Xmas shopping as I don't get many chances to go shopping without the kids.
Another thing I realised: It drives me a bit bonkers how he is constantly asking me where stuff is! Then I realised OF COURSE! He doesn't know where things go because he NEVER PUTS THINGS AWAY! (Other than his precious tools)
He's of on business again all thins week, so it will be nice to just potter around without him making a mess.
Oh and does anyone get the "Its my house too so I can make a mess anywhere I want to!" Well yeah thats alright if only you would clean up afterwards!
What can you do? (shrug) some days I'm sure it would be alot easier without them but really it wouldn't. If only for the times when I am about to strangle the 2yo again for doing something dangerous for the 300th time that day and I can give her to him and walk out of the room!
Lots of deep breaths!
M.
I do it all and always have done. I don't mind I like cleaning it's just something I like to do. I love to polish, and hoover etc.
DB hates it all, grew up with it all done, but if I ask he'll do it. And he does a good job too.
As a kid my parents had us 3 on a roster they didn't do anything, and as a teen with just my mum I did it all the washing/ironing everything she refused and said it was pointless as it would just come back :mad: Dirty ***** :eek:
He said to me yesterday after our baby is born he will do everything for one month lol we'll see he he.
My man likes surfaces to be spotless and clutter free. But all he does is takes whats on the surface and jams it into the nearest drawer! I went through all our drawers on the weekend and sorted stuff out, and I couldnt believe my eyes - things that I had lost turned up in the most peculiar places. Necklaces in his undies drawer, smelly socks in the baby's toy box, remote controls in various drawers, my mobile phone in the kitchen drawer.... :confused:
He thinks its so good that he's really tidy and keeps the house immaculate, but I spend an hour turning the place upside down looking for things he's chucked in drawers to get them out of sight!:mad:
AlbertaJes
14-11-2005, 08:53
I guess I got really lucky with my DH. He spent the 6 years before I met him cleaning house by himself. And he was staying with relatives (2 parents, 3 children plus DH) who own a cattle ranch. and they generally neglect to remove their shoes/boots when they come in the house, so they track in mud and mess from the pastures as well...
So he's more than willing to help at any time.
:D He even does most things without being asked.
AlbertaJes - you are sooo lucky!
I asked DH to do the dishes for me on Friday - and he did do half, but the rest were still there on Sunday.
I've kind of given up. If I can't get him to do it now, what hope do I have in the future. One things for sure tho - our bubba boy isn't going to get away with it! :D
ThomasMum
14-11-2005, 09:10
I guess I got really lucky with my DH. He spent the 6 years before I met him cleaning house by himself. And he was staying with relatives (2 parents, 3 children plus DH) who own a cattle ranch. and they generally neglect to remove their shoes/boots when they come in the house, so they track in mud and mess from the pastures as well...
So he's more than willing to help at any time.
:D He even does most things without being asked.
Hey ditto here. My Joshua was a bachelor for years living on his own before we met...he's my wonderful helper...without his help I wouldnt be here online right now coz im a neat freak!
I wouldnt be able to sit down knowing theres stuff need to be done
:D
Myself and DP both work full time jobs, both desk bound, though mine is decidedly less stressful. When it comes to housework, I do all the cooking, cleaning, taking out the garbage, vacuuming, etc. I'm lucky if he takes the bins to the street once a week, and empties the dishwasher (when nagged). He sometimes hangs out washing, or brings it in, but rarely.
Now I'll admit that I'm no Suzy Homemaker, I'm lazy and a bit messy, but come on. He says that "one day I'll be a SAHM so I need to learn how to manage the house on my own". Fair call, but while I'm working full time? Is it just me, or is that ridiculous?
(By the by, I earn more $$ than he does, to rub salt into the wound!)
darkstar, lol. What else can you say but *men!* (apart from a few expletives, that is ;) )
I blame his mother for spoiling him rotten and never expecting him to clean anything (even his own clothes!)
Carls My DH is a drawer stuffer. I didn't know there was more than one out there. He hates seeing things cluttered so gets a big plastic bag and fills it and stuffs it somewhere. I misplaced a whole lot of toiletries that way. His idea of tidying up is eccentric to say the least.
However he does have initiative and does do washing, cooking etc off his own back. At the moment, now I am nearly due, he is insisting on doing the dishes when he comes home, so he can get ready for when bubs comes and I'm too busy to do any housework.
Myself and DP both work full time jobs, both desk bound, though mine is decidedly less stressful. When it comes to housework, I do all the cooking, cleaning, taking out the garbage, vacuuming, etc. I'm lucky if he takes the bins to the street once a week, and empties the dishwasher (when nagged). He sometimes hangs out washing, or brings it in, but rarely.
Now I'll admit that I'm no Suzy Homemaker, I'm lazy and a bit messy, but come on. He says that "one day I'll be a SAHM so I need to learn how to manage the house on my own". Fair call, but while I'm working full time? Is it just me, or is that ridiculous?
(By the by, I earn more $$ than he does, to rub salt into the wound!)
Wow - I thought I was reading a post by me!!! I currently do all the housework, and do more ever since I got pregnant! I reminded Steve 3 times last night to take the bin out which is stinking and overflowing (from 2 weeks of rubbish), and he still forgot. This morning he started on how he has a more stressful job and earns less than me, and how I need to get into practice anyway for when I'm doing everything at home once the baby comes!
I said to him "if there were other mums in this car right now, you would be a dead man".
I blame his mother for spoiling him rotten and never expecting him to clean anything (even his own clothes!)
:eek: ME TOO!!!!!! Except I spoil him rotten and clean his own clothes now - I think I've made a rod for my own back!
He gets SO lazy I have even brushed his teeth in bed for him because he was too lazy to get up and do it himself!!!!!
My DP has long ringlets which he refuses to brush himself, so I have to brush his hair...I haven't brushed his teeth for him though! lol
His mother has a LOT to answer for, he's got a very old fashioned view of the world and gender roles. I'm just worried that when we start our family, he's not going to help me when I'm pg etc and I'll end up cracking it.
This is the conversation I had this morning over who does what, after the bin wasnt put out.
Me: "What do you do around the house?"
Steve: "Everything"
Me: "Do you do the dishes?
Steve: "No"
Me: "Do you do the washing"
Steve: "No"
Me: "Do you do the garden?
Steve: "No"
Me:"Do you feed Biggles?"
Steve" No"
Me: "Do you cook dinner?"
Steve "No"
Me: "Do you do the housework?"
Steve: "Yes I did it on Sunday because you couldnt be bothered and went shopping"
Me: "I went shopping for christmas presents INCLUDING yours. Do you want to do that?"
Steve: "No"
Me: "So what do you do then?'
....Steve then has a little boys tantrum because he knows he isnt getting anywhere with the argument and actually does nothing but sit on his computer game........
whatwasithinking
29-11-2005, 10:21
Carla
OMG - are you sure my Jaesen and your Steve were not separated at birth!! That is the exact conversation and reaction that I get everyday!
I'm at the end of my tether.
To make matters worse we are currently selling our house and I have told him and told him to help keep the house clean - well the walls will cooperate as that's who I speak to.
lol carls - sounds like Steve did heaps :rolleyes: over the weekend! Poor baby! :p
darkstar - I'd be tempted to cut them off! If you can't look after long hair, get rid of it!
*men!* :rolleyes:
Oh no! I love his long hair. I just wish he could look after it himself!
Tell him, if he dont do it, you'll be hiring a cleaner once a week for an hour ;)
:mad: :mad:
I would like to post an update on this thread....
When Steve works weekends and I am off, I do the cleaning. Thats the deal.
Steve is off work this week and I got home after 10 hours of work yesterday to find that he hadnt moved off his computer game (which he started at 7:30am) and there was crap all over the house. Flies and bugs all through the kitchen, stuff on the floor, bed not made (not even the bedroom blind up).
He reminded me that there was ONE DAY where I didnt do the cleaning. Funny that I had already told him 3 times my reason why (I was Christmas shopping for him and he came home early so I hadnt had time to clean).
Funny that he is so quick to pick me up on anything that I havent cleaned while he has been at work, but when the tables turn it gets thrown back in my face! Of course he is never in the wrong!
THEN he says that he has to be on the computer for that long because STUPID ME booked a holiday to QLD which is depriving him of computer game time so he needs to make the time up! WHAT THE????!!!!
So at 8:30 (13 hours on the computer) he sits with me for 30 minutes and then when I decide to go to sleep he decides to do the housework and make a heap of noise. Then after I went to sleep he got back on the computer!
Is this any way to treat your 8.5 month pregnant partner???!!!! :mad: :mad:
I'd throttle him! My partner's just as bone idle, when I have a day off (like today) I spend pretty much the entire day cleaning the house, doing washing, etc. On his days off (Saturday and Sunday) he sleeps in until noon at the earliest, watches the wrestling, gets some food and plays computer games.
He doesn't understand when I complain that it's unfair, but boy does he complain if I spend all day at home doing nothing on my RDO! :mad: :mad:
But what do you say to these guys? I dont have the heart to pull the plug out of the wall (this game is online and interactive), and I'm so flabbergasted by his comebacks that I dont even know what to say - I just have to leave the room!
AND GET THIS... I had to go to the doctor last night to get a note to say that I'm fit to fly on Thursday, and he didnt even ask me why I was going to the doctor! At 34 weeks pregnant!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
AND how is this for a sucker - I'm still trying to figure out how to pay for a new stereo system for his car, for Christmas!
I must be the biggest sucker on two legs!
whatwasithinking
06-12-2005, 10:28
But what do you say to these guys? I dont have the heart to pull the plug out of the wall (this game is online and interactive), and I'm so flabbergasted by his comebacks that I dont even know what to say - I just have to leave the room!
AND GET THIS... I had to go to the doctor last night to get a note to say that I'm fit to fly on Thursday, and he didnt even ask me why I was going to the doctor! At 34 weeks pregnant!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
AND how is this for a sucker - I'm still trying to figure out how to pay for a new stereo system for his car, for Christmas!
I must be the biggest sucker on two legs!
You must have a twin sister - ME!!!
I know EXACTLY how you feel!!!!!
Ppl are always telling me to pack the computer up but I'd be divorced! mmnnn maybe that's a thought - only joking - or am I :p
They can only walk all over you if you let them. I'm not PG so I couldn't imagine how you're feeling, but I'd seriously put my foot down and give him the talking to of his life!
A talking to? What do I say? I ***** and whinge and he comes back with "well there was a time 2.6 months and 30 seconds ago where you didnt do this" I give him a reason why that happened and he still says "well you didnt do it". How do you respond?
I should do what Debra did on EL Raymond last night - he claimed that the money that he earnt was "his money to do whatever he wanted with" - and she said that seeing as she was just the hired help that she should be paid - so she billed him for everything that she did! It ended up coming to more than he earnt per year!
Yeah, that was a funny episode.
Maybe if *****ing and whinging isn't helping, maybe calm conversation might? If you don't let him turn it into an argument, he won't have the option of throwing things in your face. I know, I can't really talk, but I find if I calmly discuss things without getting upset or ****ed off about it, DP responds better.
It's worth a try?
Tried that. He still has the same comebacks, just in a calmer tone LOL
What happens if you refuse to clean? Does he whinge then?
Of course!!!!
But the thing about me is I cant sit in a pig stye (sp?). I go nuts!
Seriously thinking about starting maternity leave a week early, sitting on my butt all week next week and living off his hard earned money. See how he likes that! But then that turns into something he can just throw back at me later on. Catch 22!
Mamaduke
06-12-2005, 11:02
I have the exact opposite problem. When DH gets up in the morning (he's a shift worker) I've already been up with 2 boys for at least 4 hours - that's 4 hours filled with breakfast, tantrums and toys! He gets up and immediately starts packing things up on us. Yesterday he running around tidying up and stubbed his toe on the step in the kitchen - he is now at the doctor's with a suspected broken toe!!!! On his days off he runs around frantically with a vacuum cleaner and his other favourite toy is the blower for outside - I swear I'm going to put that bloody thing on ebay. Alot of my friends say that I'm lucky but it gives me the ****s because it's not as if I don't clean or tidy up - and I would rather that he spend the time he has at home (which is not alot) playing with the boys instead of tidying! Grant it, it does help me out that he makes the bed or empties the dishwasher (I HATE doing those) but sometimes it just gets ridiculous. With this being said he will not step foot in the kitchen to cook and does not iron - but it gets on my nerves when the first thing he does when he gets up is packs toys and things up that the boys are still playing with!
Carly
Steve used to be the same! He used to be obsessed with cleaning - to the point where it was unbearable. Now, the more he plays with his computer the less the cleaning matters. All I can hope is that when the game ends and bub arrives, the old Steve comes back!
Good luck carls - to both of us!
My dh stays on the computer lots too - and when ever he finishes a game, he has to start from scratch to see if he can beat his own score! :rolleyes: House work just doesn't seem as important as computer games! :rolleyes: :eek: But, my own silly fault - I married him knowing it! :p
I like the idea of 'billing' untidy hubbies and partners for the work that we do! I knew one lady who told her hubby that it was half his house, so if he didn't do half the work, she'd bill him for it. He didn't do it, she did - and he knows now that if he wants 'spending money' he has to help out around the house so he's able to keep part of his pay cheque! lol!
Unfortunately its my house :(
I cant win! *sob*
he lives there tho, doesn't he?
you could always scare the crap out of him and hire a cleaner for the last few weeks - and ask him to pay 'half' (if the cleaners good, they might even 'pad' the bill for you! ;) )
But seriously, just cause it's your house doesn't mean that you should be doing all the cleaning!
Flipside to the coin - its his new Astra which he pays registration, running costs and insurance on. I use the car just as much as him but dont contribute towards it (well, sometimes I do but he doesnt expect it).
He also pays contents insurance on my house when 99% of the contents are mine, and also pays the broadband bill....
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