How long do you wait before D&C?

[wendya]

Hi All,

Just came here to say hello and ask for advice. I have had a missed miscarriage, meaning the little one died at 7 weeks, well now I am almost 10 weeks and its still there and I have been advised by the doctor to have a D&C to prevent infection. Anyway I hate the idea of this, all surgery seems risky to me, even though I want to get all this over and done with. I just wanted to ask if anyone here has waited awhile before opting for the D&C and how long they waited. I read beneath that someone waited two weeks.

I am also pretty sad. It was an unplanned pregnancy. I found out I was pregnant after ending things with my boyfriend of a year. I am against abortion so I felt very trapped into the situation, yet as the days passed I started to feel more accepting and realised it would bring alot of joy into my life, even though I knew the circumstances are not ideal. I started to feel like I'd been given an opportunity to change my path in life for the better. I never told the father, I wisely decided I should wait. Anyway it strikes me with such force that this child can never be replaced, even if I concieve again. I will always feel sad about it. I feel like a sheltered child who didn't really know what suffering was until now. It feels so strange to be emotionally attached like this, but I am. I have only told two close friends, and they are very supportive, but their words "its for the best anyway" cut through me. My career and so-called "freedom" seems utterly meaningless now. I miss my ex-boyfriend like my right arm (yet I know I cannot return to him because he is emotionally abusive and never seemed to like me much anyway, lol). However I walk past him most days at work, and if I thought it was hard before, now its excruciating. It seems so unfair being a woman too because I have no doubt he's almost completely moved on from our relationship. While I have had to go through this mini trauma alone. I've never had need for so much strength and I find it hard. I feel like this is the only place where people can understand. I've been reading all your posts and you all seem so understanding, and recognise how it feels like you've lost a real person. A mysterious person who you will always be curious about and wish you could have had more of an opportunity to love. I am very sorry for all the losses I have read about here.

I feel a bit better now for even just having written this. Like I just released alot of pain. :crying:

wendy

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[Roopee]

Im so sorry you are going thru this Wendy:hugs:.

I have no advice as ive never been thru it but i would like to wish you luck and let you know i'm thinking of you:hugs:

[wendya]

Thanks Roopee :)

[InSaneOne]

i had a misscarriage when i was halfway through grade 12. i was stressing for weeks over when to tell my parents and 2 days after i finally did i lost the baby at 13 weeks. i was a mess for a few years afterwards - the sound of a baby crying was enough to make me cry too.
i had a d&c 4 days after to remove a peice left behind.
now several years later i have my own georgous baby girl and we are trying for another.

i believe that if there is something wrong enough to make you misscarry the baby then it wasn't meant to be. while you never forget the ones you lose things can get better over time. i am sure that in the future you will hold your own darling little one in your arms, safe and sound.
:hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs:

[Percy]

Im very for your loss:hugs:

I was admitted to hospital when i had mine, and had the d&c a few days later. I was second trimester, so it is probably a bit different.

Is there someone you can ring? Its probably best to look into it sooner rather than later.

Sorry again for your loss. PM me if you ever want to chat.:hugs:

[frolette]

Wendy,

I had my D&C straight away due to a range of circumstances, but actually now wished I had waited at least a couple of days to get my head around it all and check I was really happy with how things were being managed. I don't think I could have waited more than a couple of days as the pain of waiting and being in "no-man's-land" would have been too great for me I think.

I can't imagine how hard this must be to deal with alone. Initially we didn't tell anyone and I found it incredibly difficult holding myself together each day and pretending everything was normal. At least I did have DH to hold me every night though. Eventually I told a friend at work, so that when I was struggling I could just give her a look and she would know either to keep everyone away from me or to give me a hug.

I understand how everything else in life feels so meaningless and unimportant all of a sudden. Knowing that there was probably something wrong with the baby didn't help much either - it just felt so unfair that there was something wrong with the baby in the first place. All I can say is that it does get easier. Not overnight but bit by bit. And it took a lot longer than I expected. I hope that one day soon you will wake up and realised the pain isn't the first thing you're aware of in the morning, and that the future looks bright and promising again. Until then just focus on one day at a time, coz that's all you can control right now.

Hugs :hugs:

Bron

[4tiggers]

I was told my bub didnt make it at an 8 wk scan. The dr gave me 1 week to m/c naturally or I would need a d&c. I went for a very long run a few days later and it started shortly after that. If it hadnt then a d&c would have followed very shortly, doc said a risk of infection is high. I understand not wanting to go to hospital but even if you m/c naturally, a d&c is sometimes still needed. Have you had a bt to see that your hcg levels are coming down? I hope you get your wish soon. Losing this bub is hard for you but when you are in a relationship that you can share the highs and lows of pregnancy and have someone to love your baby as much as you do, it will be so very very special.

[Mel-Jane]

So sorry for your loss.:hugs: :hugs:

I found out that I had miscarried at 11 weeks, but the baby was only 8 weeks gestation. My Ob/gyn booked me in for the very next day and I found that hard, but respected the views of my Ob.

Thinking of you.

[Lambie]

:hugs: for your loss Wendy.

When I miscarried at 6 weeks I never recieved a D&C as I managed to pass the embryo. It should be decided at the u/s if it is necessary or not.

[Mum1]

:hugs: Sorry for your loss.

I was told at 8 weeks and 2 days pregnant that baby had no heartbeat and that I will miscarry naturally. My hcg levels were dropping alot.

I waited until 10 weeks and On monday night I went into hospital and had a D & C.

[wendya]

Thanks so much for your replies guys. It started happening naturally on the weekend (about 3 weeks after the fetus had died) so its probably ok afterall. I am really glad to avoid a D&C.