caring what other people think

[elemenopee]

hi everyone,

just wondering if anyone else has the same problem...

...i care too much about what other people think about me. to the point of obsession.

i'm always stressed out about what my in-laws think about me, especially my SIL. it makes me not want to see them at all because i'm so nervous around them.

sometimes if i think i've said something stupid i can't stop re-playing the conversation in my head for weeks afterwards. i hate that i do it but i can't help it :gloomy:

is anyone else the same? what helps you?

[damien's mum]

Hun....

I used to be the same as you.. But over the years of taking so many people's ****, there comes a point where you just don't care anymore, and it hards when you are not there yet.. but it does come...

People either like you how you are.. or they don't. Not everyone has to like us, and we dont have to like everyone... But being who WE are, makes us that more individual..

Try not to let it get you down.. :hugs:

[munchkin05]

[QUOTE=damien's mum;987498]

People either like you how you are.. or they don't. Not everyone has to like us, and we dont have to like everyone... But being who WE are, makes us that more individual..
QUOTE]

true
but its hard to try and let go
i know i still worry to a certain degree what others think of me

thats why i try to keep atlot of things to myself which isnt healthy either

[damien's mum]

No it isn't healthy for anybody to keep things bottled up, but there is always someone out there u will find that you can trust enough to share these types of things with!

[Mum2Bug]

[
true
but its hard to try and let go
i know i still worry to a certain degree what others think of me

thats why i try to keep atlot of things to myself which isnt healthy either

I agree. I just ignore what people say and think about me to a certain extent but at the same time i think it is natural human behaviour for us to want people to accept us and for us to seek their approval.

In saying that, i have VERY big trust issues so I bottle it all up.

[poodysmum]

hi everyone,

just wondering if anyone else has the same problem...

...i care too much about what other people think about me. to the point of obsession.

i'm always stressed out about what my in-laws think about me, especially my SIL. it makes me not want to see them at all because i'm so nervous around them.

sometimes if i think i've said something stupid i can't stop re-playing the conversation in my head for weeks afterwards. i hate that i do it but i can't help it :gloomy:

is anyone else the same? what helps you?

Its like you just wrote my life! I have been like this for years, but it has gotten worse as Ive gotten older.I too hate being like this, and it is so exhausting being like this. If you find out how to get it under control, PLEEEEASE let me know:D . Big hugs:hugs:

Alli

[kiah]

I am pretty good at shrugging things off...but i hav my days wen i really take things to heart too....and boy oh boy it gets me down....

...everyday i wake up to a knew day...look at all the postives...thank God for my health...that im still alive...hav my kids...and someone who loves me....take pne day at at time...

wen im feeling low i try to go and see one of my very close girlfriends for a cuddle and a cup of tea...thats what works for me....

[damien's mum]

[QUOTE=kiah;987655]
...everyday i wake up to a knew day...look at all the postives...thank God for my health...that im still alive...hav my kids...and someone who loves me....take one day at at time...
QUOTE]

Very true, great advice! :thumbsup:

[caramella]

Yep, I do this too. Mostly after social things with people, I just lie awake and fret about how the conversations went, what they thought about me, how I came across... and I replay conversations over and over as well.
:gloomy:

I understand totally and I feel for you.

I hope that I'll get to that point that others talk about when I'll just get over it all and no longer obsess about it.

I've been the organiser for a playgroup for the last year and it's been so stressful because of my propensity to worry about what people think of me. But then on the other hand, I think it's kind of helped because I've had so much good feedback on my job as a convener - but is that just reinforcement for my obsessive behaviour!!??:confused:

If you find out what helps - let me know too!

:hugs:

[Lila]

hmmm
i am pretty much over that now...maybe i am too old, or maybe i am just to tired to achieve things to please other people....
i am what and who i am am- FULL STOP
i am special and unique AND couldn´t care less....
funny thing is- i can make people furious being sooo laid back sometimes esp. MIL HAHAHA

[BlakeNatsMum]

Hi,

I felt the need to comment here on this subject.. I suppose at some time during my school life I used to be the same and cared about what the rest thought of me. Then after taking cr@p so many years, you just develop an incredibly thick skin and I just shrug my shoulders and look at them all this way.. I don't give a flying FOX what they think.. they can think whatever it is they damn well want, and at the end of the day I am still me, my own person, and stuff them all if they have a problem with it. I am me, I don't pretend to be something I'm not.. I'm straight talking, I say things as they are.. call it straight down the line. And as far as I am concerned if they have a problem with me, let them deal with it. They will soo "build a bridge" and get over it!..

Don't go obsessing about it, all you have to remember is to just be YOU!.. Don't give a RATS @ss what anyone else thinks. As long as you can sit there and honestly say to yourself that you are proud to be who you are.. then Bugger the rest of them!.. Let them all go knock themselves out if they have any problems!! What matters the most is what you think of yourself and how you see yourself..

I think it comes with 'Self esteem'.. You be happy about who you are, and you will find there will be no problems!..

Life is way too short to be giving a RATS @ss what anyone else thinks mate..! Just keep going.. and be the same FABULOUS person you are!...

Cheers,

Jen!

[elemenopee]

thanks everyone.
i know it's silly to constantly stress over what other people think of me, but i can't help it.


I think it comes with 'Self esteem'.. You be happy about who you are, and you will find there will be no problems!..


totally agree with that. i guess that is probably what my problem is. i don't like myself as a person, never have, and probably never will.

[lukaelmo]

is anyone else the same? what helps you?

Yep, I do this... I never worry about big things, I worry that I may have offended the photocopier guy during our morning joke along...

It is tiring and pointless, I know that, but I can't stop it either...

I am with Caramella, if you find a solution, let me know :laughing:...

[lukaelmo]

totally agree with that. i guess that is probably what my problem is. i don't like myself as a person, never have, and probably never will.


teehee, maybe we can be friends... I don't think too much of myself either...

[draught]

I used to stress about things I had said and how stupid they were and what people must think of me. Then a counsellor asked me "why"? He asked"does it change your behaviour? Do you stop saying stupid things? Does all that stress make you stop doing/saying things like that?" and the answer was no........it was like a lightbulb going on for me. I still cringe when I think about things I have done or said - but then I remember that it doesn't change anything so I let them go.

[caramella]

I used to stress about things I had said and how stupid they were and what people must think of me. Then a counsellor asked me "why"? He asked"does it change your behaviour? Do you stop saying stupid things? Does all that stress make you stop doing/saying things like that?" and the answer was no........it was like a lightbulb going on for me. I still cringe when I think about things I have done or said - but then I remember that it doesn't change anything so I let them go.

Wow, I love that! I had never looked at it that way, but that's really, really good! I'm going to try to remember that next time I stress about such stuff. :yes: