View Full Version : need your opinions
hi this may take awhile to get this out, i have a dilema that i need help with. With my first birth i had a vb and tore really bad, the doctor stitched it up really crappy and the stitches came apart without me knowing, this leaving me with very thin perineal skin left. I had an op to try and fix this which was done badly again and the result was worse. This leading to occcasional incontinence, which is very embarassing. Now pregnant with my second i'm very worried and am now deciding if i should go vb or elective c- section. I don't want to make things worse down there. There is only a very thin layer of skin left seperating my you know whats. Do i risk having a vb and risk having incontinence for the rest of my life or do i go through with a c-section? I have a terrible phobia of needles and operations and going through a c-section would be a massive trauma for me, and i have heard of nothing but bad stories of c-sections. Can anyone give me any ifo or has anyone gone through this? I welcome all opinions aswell
I was sure I had responded to your post, but can't see any responses.....preggo brain? :)
In your situation I would have a caesar. You were unfortunate enough to suffer very severe damage and the last thing you need as a young mum is further damage.
A caesar will not damage you further "down there" but another vaginal delivery might.
I would listen to your medical team on this.
Edited after I re-read your original post - I know you have a fear of needles, but you won't really see any needles in a caesar except for when they put a drip in your arm. If you let them know about your phobia, they can help you deal with it. I've had 3 great caesars, and am going back for another one in June - no horror stories from me!
I also think the recovery from a caesar will be quicker and more straightforward for you after the complications you've been unfortunate enough to suffer. Speak to your Dr about what to expect.
Read some of the positive caesar stories (there are lots of them on the caesar board), to get a more balanced opinion. If you only hear horror stories you'll be unnecessarily anxious.
If I was in your situation I would have an elective cesar. You don't need the added worry that things might go wrong again with a VB. If I'm correct (never had a ceasar) if you want to be put completely under you can. That way all you see maybe the needle in your arm and then you wake and have a beautiful bub. Again no expert as no ceasar but this is what I'm led to believe.
I also have a phobia of needles but by far and away a ceasar sounds the best option you have hon. Take care and as stretchmark diva said in her post..read some positive stories on c sections and listen to your doc's.
Good luck hon I hope all works out well.
I also would have a c-section if it were me... :hugs: to you!!
I would have an elective cs too if I were you.
I would worry bout the damage being done whilst I was actually in labour (I had a hard enough time coping with the fact that every time I pushed I pooped (p@ped)!!!!), and it might inhibit your labour progression, leading to an even more traumatic labour?
I agree with the other mums and say go for the c/section. I had major probs with a VB and if I have another I was told I could try another VB but could make my probs worse too. If we have another bub Im going to have a c/section.
I can also relate to what you are saying about the incontinance. My pelvic floor was badly damaged and no amount of exercise will help fix things. I feel like an elderly lady most days having to wear pads etc. Its very depressing and I cry alot about it - so big big hugs to you darl - it isnt a nice thing to go through and you have it worse than me.
Also just wanted to add that Id try seeing another specialist to see if anything further can be done to help you. I was told my 3 Dr's that nothing can be done, then I found a Dr who told me that after about age 35 (they assume most women are finished having kids by then?) he would operate and place a sling type thing under the pelvic floor muscles. Im glad I found this Dr as there is a little bit of hope for me know. Id love for you to find a Dr who could try help you too. I know its a different medical situation but dont give up hope!
:hugs: :hugs: Oh you poor thing what a decision to have to make !!
If i was you i think i would have to go for the C section only because its a huge risk to have a VB!!!!! Goodluck with whatever you decide hun
I would be going for a c-section as well. I had damage from a vb as well (nothing like your damage!) and I will never, ever have a vb again!
I would go for a VB. most likely you will tear along a natural line that can be stitched better than before and fix all the problems. if you go for a CS you won't repair the damage.
Hope all goes well whatever you choose.
I would also go for a CS. I have also had a really bad experience with VB, and I wouldn't dream of having another any other way but CS....if that. I don't have continence issues, but have had very long term pain ever since VB. I won't risk any more damage either.
Like you, the thought of a CS before my bad experience was that I really wouldn't want one. Even now, I freak at the thought, but for me it is the only way I might possibly have another some day.
i'd have a c/s in you circumstance. i've had a c/s after desperately wanting a vb, c/s aren't too bad. i found the whole experience really good. just prepare yourself for a c/s and find out all you can about the process. good luck:thumbsup:
hi, thanks everyone for you opinions. I had a c/s and everything went well, i had a beautiful baby boy named cooper ryley. I must admit it was very painful afterwards and its been two weeks today and i'm still recovering. I think i made the right decision. And im happy with it. Thanks again to everyone and bubhub. i wouldn't have been able to find all the info that i needed without bubhub. Thanks!!!!
Congratulations on the arrival of your little bundle! :yelclap:
Glad to hear everything went well. :)
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