Toddler Missing his Dad

[Bobcat]

Hey all, im a mum of a 2 year old, with a partner that has to travel away a lot. I am having trouble with my son when he leaves. I can't get him to sleep through the day or at any reasonable time of the evening, even to the point where he lies their chanting "daddy home, daddy home".

Does anyone have any advice on what to do when a child is missing a parent, any tips on how to handle the situation? and keep a routine, without loosing your mind:)

help!!
Frazzled mum

[draught]

Hi
I have a toddler and a pre-schooler (and a new baby but he isn't so concerned with all of this at the moment) and a husband who travels for work a lot. I am certainly not claiming to be an expert on all of this but what I do is talk to them about when he is leaving and when he is coming back, and encourage them to talk to him on the phone while he is away.

They act up a lot when he is away and really push the boundaries. (This week has been particularly interesting) but I try to stick to the normal routine, be firm and consistent, and stay calm. After a few days things seem to calm down when they realise that I am not responding to the bad behaviour.

I realise that none of this provides you with a magic solution but wanted you to know that you are not alone in this dilemma and encourage you to stick with whatever plan you come up with!

[Stretchmark Diva]

It is very hard. :( We have (eventually) developed a bed time routine with stories, etc and even when Daddy is home, we have the same routine. The kids (ages 6, 4 and 2) talk to Daddy on the phone in the morning and at night before they go to bed. We still get the occasional "I want my Daddy!" but that is usually when I'm tired and cranky and have just had to discipline someone for playing up :mad: They are used to him being away often now and it has become a little easier now that DH travels for shorter periods (only usually 1 - 3 nights away per week rather than two weeks at a time).

It does get better eventually if you are consistent. :thumbsup:

[rynosmum]

We have 'special time' when Daddy is away. The first night is a picnic on the floor in the loungeroom with his favourite - chicken nuggets and chips. It's a treat he rarely gets any other time.

We also then talk about where Daddy is and how many big sleeps before he is back. I try to get him all excited about Daddy coming home and get him to talk to him on the phone as well.

We make sure that he gets a special present when Dad gets home too (even if it is a 50cent ball he picks up at the airport).

He views Daddy being away as an exciting time at the moment but at two, we had some issues where we had to limit his travel for a while.

[Kaylene]

When DH travelled I had a home video of him saying hello, i love you, be a good girl and I will be home soon, waves and blows kisses etc. I played this at night as part of our night time routine. Now she is older she understands better that he will be home soon but not tonight, so I play the movie of DH reading a book and she is still happy. I also leave photos laying around for her to access if and when she wants. She is and always will be a daddys girl and she hates that he does travel but with these tapes it makes it a little easier.
Good Luck

[Foxy]

When DH travelled I had a home video of him saying hello, i love you, be a good girl and I will be home soon, waves and blows kisses etc.

Oh that's so lovely!

I just wanted to suggest making him his own photo album. Just one of those cheap little plastic ones and put in father and son pictures that he can look at any time and feel close to his dad.

[Bobcat]

thank you everyone, that is great advice...i agree being consistent is the best way but so hard when there are little tears :gloomy:

[Lozie]

Why dont u call him and let ur Ds talk to daddy before bed, my ds has the same problem with nana atm i have to call her 5 times a day:rolleyes: