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mum2bubba
09-01-2007, 18:00
to ask ppl to pay for their own dinner/lunch at a wedding INSTEAD of buying us wedding presents?
Becteria
09-01-2007, 18:03
Nope and if anyone thought it was i would uninvite them.

You are asking them to share the most important day in your relationship - its an honour. If they truly love you they would jump at the chance to see/help you make this day happen.

The only thing i dont like is being told to give cash in lieu of presents.... i prefer to give gifts.
Milliner
09-01-2007, 18:04
I don't think it's rude. It's a great way to keep the cost down. People would propably buy you a present anyway.
kiwibird27
09-01-2007, 18:10
No it is very sensible.....it's much better than getting a whole lot of stuff that you don't need and people will be happy they don't have to go shopping for the perfect gift that u will probably never use!!!!
becky_boo84
09-01-2007, 18:16
HI,
I THINK ITS A GREAT IDEA,, IVE BEEN TO TWO WEDDING WHERE THIS HAS HAPPENED.. THAT WAY EVERYONE CAN EAT WHAT THEY WANT TOO...
:yelclap:
missie_mack
09-01-2007, 18:23
We did this for our engagement and it was brilliant. Only hitch I could think of would be if you have a set menu and somebody wants something not on it "if Im paying for it I want ...". Theres always one.....
Sheer Bliss
09-01-2007, 19:15
Nope, not rude at all!! I know of quite a few people that have done it.

If you search on-line there are a few nice little poems that you can add to the invite instead of cards for a registry that express it in a really nice way. The one i have seen the most says something about your PRESENCE is worth more than your presents!
Tls5431
09-01-2007, 19:39
No. The people that want to be there for you on your wedding day will be willing to pay for there own meal... I did for one of my good friend when he got married and would not have missed it for the world...:yes:
Foxy
09-01-2007, 19:49
Go for it! :thumbsup: People who love you will be more than happy to do what you want. Our friends did this and there were no problems. I did give them a small gift after they got back from their honeymoon because I wanted them to have a keepsake from us.

Good luck with your planning. :)
mumofcaleb
09-01-2007, 19:51
Nope not rude in my books.
damien's mum
09-01-2007, 19:52
No i don't think it is at all... If they don't like it, they won't come.. :thumbsup:
Issey
09-01-2007, 20:23
Sorry I have to go against what others have said. I actually think it is rude. I am a bit traditional I suppose.

My reasons for saying so are:

(1) You are putting people on the spot either pay or don't come, if the amount is beyond the guests budget they may feel embarrassed that they cannot afford it or they may actually prefer to get you a gift that is memorable that you will look at in years to come. (I have been in this situation where was asked to pay $100 for the meal :thumbsdown: I had budgeted $50 for a present - I ended up feeling really really bad and told them sorry I could not pay for our meal it was awful situation to be in and all the stress of having to tell made me feel ill).

(2) you are inviting people..if you asked someone over to dinner or bbq would they have to bring there own? I am old fashioned maybe?

(3) people enjoy selecting a special gift for a wedding and it usually has a lot of thought put into it.

Can you look at something on a smaller scale or cheaper.:rolleyes:

I know someone who asked everyone to pay for their meal and it backfired as they couldn't coordinate the money & payment or really walk around to each guest who hadn't given them the money and ask for it to pay the bill. They ended up HAVING to pay for most of it and had hardly any presents.:eek:

It is up to you, this is just my point of view on the subject.:D
oleander
09-01-2007, 20:29
I wouldn't ask people to pay for the meal. If I couldn't afford a fancy meal I'd do as Debster suggested and do something on a smaller scale. Maybe just an afternoon thing with finger food and drinks.
Scout
09-01-2007, 20:31
I have to go against the grain too and agree with everything Debster said.

To see whether it is socially acceptable or not perhaps you could try having a look in some of the Guide to Etiquette books that are around - they might give you an idea of how you could do it.
mum2bubba
10-01-2007, 10:05
Thanks everyone,
I am thinking about only having no more than 20 ppl at the wedding (I want to elope) and instead of booking out the whole restaurant only book one table somewhere (not sure where though, preferable somewhere where theres a band and dancing :p ).
Grant and I have been living together for over 3 years so we have everything we need anyway, we're not sure when we're getting married (hopefully within the next few years) but we would probably (hopefully) have our own home by then so yeah, we'd already have what we need.
What are some websites that have those poems where you ask ppl to pay there on way?
Niki
10-01-2007, 10:16
its a great idea :thumbsup:
Cinta
10-01-2007, 12:16
I think it is a good idea, but just keep in mind that there are many people who can't afford to spend $100 for a meal and haven't budgeted to even spend that on the present.

So if you are going to do it that way, I suggest keeping it very simple.

Also, someone else mentioned about people not paying...you would have to think of a way to make sure everyone paid, preferably before the wedding!

Hope it all goes well :)
Laksa
10-01-2007, 14:40
I would have no problem being asked to pay for my meal, as long as it wasn't too expensive and I didn't have to pay for alcohol (I don't drink even when I'm not pregnant). It sounds like you are going to a restaurant anyway, so there would be some choice?? I think it's good if you can give people a copy of the menu or something so they know what they are getting in for. If the dinner wasn't expensive, I would also buy a small gift...
mum2bubba
10-01-2007, 16:06
I would have no problem being asked to pay for my meal, as long as it wasn't too expensive and I didn't have to pay for alcohol (I don't drink even when I'm not pregnant). It sounds like you are going to a restaurant anyway, so there would be some choice?? I think it's good if you can give people a copy of the menu or something so they know what they are getting in for. If the dinner wasn't expensive, I would also buy a small gift...

The restaurant I had in mind is a buffey (sp) style dinner (been there a few times) and its (from memory) $14 or $15 for kids, kids under 4 are free and everyone else I think is $40, me and Grant will pay for alcohol.