is it ok to tell people what you need?

[lizzymcfizzy]

Would it be considered rude if I put a list on the back of my shower invitations of the items that I need?

To save being given stuff I already have and alot of people without kids (my main group of friends) don't know what to get.


I don't know if people would take offence or not.

[TinyStar]

I'd say it's not rude if people ask for it.

Maybe leave the list off and put a short message informing people that if they need ideas for gifts they can contact you (or someone else appropriate) and get a list if they require one.

That way if anyone is touchy on this matter (and believe me many people are) then no-one will get offended.

Hope you have a great day!

[damien's mum]

I think people should be asking what you need! But if they don't then, do a list of things u need and put it with ur invites! :thumbsup:

[mz sv6]

i wouldnt say its rude to make a list and put it on the back of the invite i think its a great idea. i rececntly went to a 1 year old bday and on the inside of the invite it had a list of stuff that they needed for him and that helped me lots cause other wise i would of not known what they needed and i would of jus asked them anyway

[munchkin05]

im not sure about a list

but i would definatly put either contact you or your mum or someone and they can let your guests know what you need

i just feel maybe some people may take offence

[jess_live_die]

everyone rang my mum to ask what i needed so maybe put your mums number on there so they can ask her or she could bring it up.

[*Sparkles*]

My SIL organised my baby shower and asked me for ideas of what people could buy so I did a list just for her.

I agree it would be a good idea to make a note in the invites that there is a list available for those that want to look at it. This shouldn't offend anyone.

Enjoy your shower :D

[Beany]

The problem with a list is that everyone might decide to buy you the same thing - as much as you wanted a blanket, 30 may be a few too many.

Just go the whole hog if you are going down that route and get a gift register going. Otherwise, leave a note somewhere on the invite saying that if they were stumped for gift ideas, a list can be provided. This also leaves them the option of buying you something that they want you to have and you might not have thought of.

If they respond, give them a selection of ideas but try not to give them all the same list. For example, if A wants a list, give her a list saying blanket, bouncer, pram toy. If B wants a list, give her a list saying pram underlay, nappy bag, change mat. And so on. Try to put something from different price ranges on each list to accommodate budgets.

[lizzymcfizzy]

thats a great idea beany!

[kiah]

My sil did my shower for me and we wrote out a list of the things i already had so people wouldnt by those...that way people could still choose something they wanted to give personally...and i didnt feel like i was asking for anything....she just held onto the list....

[kailensmum]

It's definitley not rude, I found everyone was asking me what i needed anyway.
What you could do is go to msn or yahoo and set up a "group" page that is a private group and on it you could put all things you need for bubs. Then give the address and password on your baby shower invite. Then they can go in and see what they wish to but for you and mark it off the list as purchased so you don't end up with 5000 wraps (exagerating i know). You can also use it as a way of communicating with others who are away etc by putting how your preg is going etc. :thumbsup:

[RoarsomeMum]

I would def appreciate a list. Im not a mum (yet) and Struggle to buy my Pregnant friends things that they want/need. A list would be Great IMO:)

[Mrs Potts]

I didn't have a shower for my first bub but a kind friend offered to arrange one for my second.

As we still had everything big from DS there wasn't much we needed. And since we never found out the sex of DS while pg all our newborn clothes were gender neutral (we had kept everything).

The only thing we really needed was a change table so my friend put on the invitations that while gifts weren't necessary, if they wanted to guests could make a contribution towards a change table. Just about everyone was happy to do this for us, and we got nearly enough to buy the change table. Perhaps if there's one big item you still need you could do something similar.

After the shower, and we'd bought the table, I took some photos and emailed them to the people who had contributed saying how grateful we were for their gift.

[BlueEyedGirl]

My sisters orgainised my baby shower, and included a list of items that I needed.

Most of my guests were friends who don't have kids, and were lost as to what to buy me. They also put their number on the list, so people could ring them for suggestions.

I did end up with a few of the same kind of items, but I used them all anyway.

Goodluck with it all:thumbsup:

[MrsMiggins]

I felt much the same way - plus, I knew that there would be lots of people who would ask what I wanted & that they would feel better getting me something I needed.

So what I did was to give a list of things we needed to the 2 ladies who were organising my baby shower and gave them strict instructions to only let people know who asked. If anyone asked me, I could then refer them onto my friends with the list to save me ever having to ask people for specific things.

[118]

Personally I'd be more than happy to join a list. At least I know up front what you need plus what I can afford. In the end it's the givers choice what they'd like to give baby(list or no list). Why not, a gift list be xlnt if organized / managed well by an appointed person. Like a well run wedding gift list just cross out the item as people contact the person in charge of the baby shower gift list. eg. Others may even want to contribute towards the cost of a car seat. In most oriental cultures money is the gift of choice (red packet or envelope) for such occasions inc. weddings & birthdays. $ always comes in handy to pay off the party etc.Best of luck. 118

[bearsmummy]

Im currently organizing a baby shower for my SIL and i just mentioned if anyone was stuck for ideas or wanted to get something she really needed then to please contact me :)

[jessgray]

i have found you get asked what is needed so IMO a list is a good idea its up to youif you put with the invites.
we didnt have a shower for ds2 we didnt really feel the need for one and i wasnt feeling up to it in the end.

[~mia&ryan~]

everyone rang my mum to ask what i needed so maybe put your mums number on there so they can ask her or she could bring it up.
I think this is a good idea too. Get them to ring whoever is organising it, that way there wont be any double up.

[robinson]

A friend of mine organised mine and i gave her a list of what we needed and she gave out the invites and said to ask her for gift ideas.. when ppl asked her and said ok i'll get that she crossed that item off the list so someone else didnt get it or she didnt tell someone else that we still needed it.. IYKWIM

[jessi]

I dont think so.

When I was organising my shower, I got my friend to write up a crazy poem to put it in a nice way that I needed some specific things and that we would rather them bring these items than anything else.

Then we attached the list along with the invitation.

MOST of the guests baught what we had on the list but we did have a few rebels.

:laughing:

If you'd like a copy of the poem we used on our invite to give you an idea of what to write on yours, send me a PM. :wave:

[susiehomemaker]

I think it is a great idea to have a list or to have someone with a list. With your first bub you need heaps of stuff, but with your second.... boy! Have we got a lot of stuff! We would def like to put in a list next time (lol- but not compulsory) A friend of mine just noted on her invites that they had a lot of stuff from there DD, so no gifts but if they felt the need then a $5 voucher for target/baby shop etc would be appreciated. lol- I was a rebel though- got her a cot doona cover/sheets/blanket cause I knew she didnt have any boyish things & she didnt seem real excited about no2 as she was about no1.

[fionas]

i have been asked by so many people to make a list, so they know what to buy me, so no it isn't rude, but you may want to make a few different list's so you don't get heaps of the same things.

[ziggie]

Not rude at all IMO! Go for it :thumbsup: . Who wants 10 of the same thing? :D