makes me mad

[tyler's mum]

hey i was just wondering if anyone gets this aswell??

im australian and my daughter father is african, so she has olivie skin, im not with her father so his not around,, when im out at the shops or where ever, people says that she is beauitful, but then always ask what nationality she is, maybe bacause im her mum i dont know but when i look at her i dont see colour she is just my baby, like a few weeks ago we when to my aunty house, her next door neighbour was there, she said oh is this the african baby,, i got very mad and said this is tyler, no need to say what nationality she is, i dont go around saying oh is this the australian baby... maybe bacause im her mum it makes me mad but i dont see any reason for people to say things like that....

i was just wondering what other people views are about this?? and if other people have this problem??

[cwsmum]

Some people ask the strangest questions :rolleyes: My 2.5yr old son always get comments about his curly hair...then they look at me and ask where he got his curls from...like I would know. It's not really the same thing as you get asked, but I know how annoying it can get to constantly tell people the same thing, especially strangers who really don't need to know anyway.
Do people ask you where she gets her dark skin? Or do they actually ask what nationality she is? If they are only asking where she gets her dark skin, then tell them she gets it from her father and leave it at that, change the subject or walk away if you can. I tell people DS gets his hair from the milkman :p especially when DH and I are both out with him coz we both have straight hair.

Oh, and your daughter is gorgeous :D

[tyler's mum]

thats a good one i should say she gets her looks from the milk man... :p
but they ask what nationality she is, i just dont understand why people cant just say she is beauiful and leave it at that, on here is really the only place people have'nt asked me... besides my family and friends but i guess they already know

and thanks i think she is the most beauiful baby ever... but i guess all mums think that aye ;)

[meshan]

Growing up I was always told how much I looked like my Mum. Funny thing is I'm adopted!!!

Anyway I would just say 'oh she's Australian of course!' because she is!!!!

My friend is French and her husband is Indian, her children have dark skin. When people ask her what nationality they are she says French!!!! It takes them a while to think about that one!

[madvoice]

I have similar comments with my daughter. When she was born she had very dark skin (still rather dark at 7mo) and her eyes almost looked Asian. Many have asked me if she's aboriginal or Asian. I just say that she's the Meter Reader's Child because we don't get a postman or milkman out our way LOL :) It does make it rather frustrating sometimes.

[tyler's mum]

i think some people just dont think before they talk sometimes.... or they just dont care one way or another

[madvoice]

I just saw the pic of your daughter and all I can say is that she's absolutely gorgeous :)

[Peaceangels]

Tyler's mum - she is just beautiful, what a lovely pic!
Sorry you have had to deal with some insensitive people!
I think your right, some people don't think before they speak and your best comeback would be to say the same thing every time. If the question is about her skin colour say something like "Yes, isn't she beautiful, she got that from her father" and leave it at that.

[kimmy]

Yeah Tyler's mum i agree with you as well same people are so rod....sorry that you had to go though that.

[annsam]

Its quite rude I feel. I dont have this issue but my dearest friend does. Shes dutch and her husband is Tongan so her beautiful babies are dark haired, dark eyed and have lovely olive skin compaired to her pale everything! She gets the same sort of thing and it drives her nuts too so you aren't alone. Your daughter is gorgous!

[tyler's mum]

thank you everyone, when i get mad i just look at her and think to myself stuff them all, tyler is just a beauitful little girl, she is not a skin colour nor does her colour matter, she will grow into a wonder and caring person thats what counts....

[nemosmum]

Hi,

I understand where your coming from only I get the opposite LOL when they see DH they ask "Do you think he (Orlando) will get darker like his dad?"

DH has lovely dark skin and even though DS looks exactly like him DS skin is a very light colour.

It did annoy me at first but after a while I just put it down to people being genuinely curious about DS's mixed heritage. I find people are interested in things that are different, whether it be a child with beautifully curly hair, red locks or chubby cheeks(DS gets that one too poor bub) or the colour of their skin. This kind of thing wont go away and as your daughter is also very beautiful you'll probably just continue to get more attention as she gets older.

Theres a thread in the western australian section titled "Biracial babies" and Kaimaika and I were discussing this exact same issue, coz she gets the same comments you do about her son. You might like to pm her and chat on the subject, you can be sure she understands completely LOL :D

When I look at ds I dont see his skin colour either but I do recognise and embrace him as being black because his dad is and thats a very big part of who he is.

Sarah and O :)

[tyler's mum]

i never thought of it that way, but i guess because im not with her father and his not around, not only does it make me mad when they say things like that but it makes me think of him and then i relize she will never have a dad so in a way now i think of it, its not just the fact people ask about her nationlity, its also got a lot to do with her dad not being in the picture,

[nemosmum]

I hope I havent offended you or upset you that was not my intention at all.

It must be hard being reminded of your bub's daddy all the time.

[tyler's mum]

you didnt offend me at all, i think just talking about things makes me relize what im really mad and upset about, if you get what i mean?

[nemosmum]

Do you mean what your really upset about is the fact your daughters dad isnt in the picture. When people comment on your bubs features (particularly her skin colouring) it just reminds you of him and of the fact your daughter wont have him in her life?

All these things would make me mad and upset thats for sure so I completely understand your right to feel the way you do.

I hope things get better and you find some way of dealing with this situation coz as I said before I dont see it stopping any time soon.

Would love to chat to you further so feel free to PM me anytime Tylersmum (hey can I ask what your name is?)

Sarah and O
xxxxxxxxxxx

[Kamaikia]

Like orlando's mum my son is also half aboriginal with no father around. I have been getting this question since he was born and I'm sure I will forever. I don't think that people would be meaning to offend you when they ask this - well not all the time anyway, so try not to assume anything. Answer with a smile, be proud, that will affect people more than you getting defensive,

My son went through a stage of looking real islander (he has a little islander in him) and people would be like "oh what a beautiful baby is he - is he islander?" and I would say no he is aboriginal - there faces would just drop and beleive it or not I have occasionally gotten the - but aboriginal babies aren't cute comment - absolutly disgusting but what can you do about it.
I agree with orlandos mum that we do have to see colour - if we don't how do we teach our children to love that colour - we all have to embrace it.
Its so confusing I know - the remarks and stuff seem neverending but you need to keep your head up (hard I know but you do get used to it).
Not having a father around I think just makes it harder - so many just assume because your child is dark and you are single that the father has just run out (like most black men do apparently???? :confused: ) - that I find is one of the harder things to stay in control when faced with. I want to scream and shout that we made our son with love, with good intentions - but things happen. But I don't scream and shout - why the hell should I justify myself to these narrow minded selfish ******** who will think that way no matter what I say.
Sorry to ramble - I could go on all day. Feel free to pm me anytime or join the biracial thread - theres only ever a couple of us in there.

[nemosmum]

K, I am so glad you read Tylersmum's thread and responded :)

I hope you dont mind that I mentioned you, its just that I know how understanding you are about this sensitive subject and I thought T'smum could use some support from another mum in the same situation.

O's mum

Ps I think your response was great, you explained things honestly and with wonderful insight :D

PPs K I have never heard the comment "Aboriginal babies arent cute" thank goodness LOL but when I say "his dads Indigenous" I sometimes get a funny look like "Oh how terrible for you both" this is of course just my assumption of what those people are thinking, but I am sure you understand what I mean.
If any one made that comment to me the gloves would come off LOL thats such a horrible thing to say, some people are so ignorant :mad:

[tyler's mum]

its a good feeling to know im not alone in this, you have made me open my eyes more to see past what people are saying

[Kamaikia]

Hi there no worries about mentioning me. I think we are the minority around here (mums of bi racial babies) so we have to stick together.
The more support the better.
I got that comment from 2 different people - why fight it, I would just have been going around in circles - ignorance is deep rooted thats for sure.
When DS was about 5 months old I left him with good friends for the evening. Her brother rand and said he was coming (someone I knew, though not well) and she told him she was looking after my little baby and she mentioned he was dark skinned. Over the phone he asked why she was looking after a black b*****d etc etc and that he knew he would hate him. Now I didn't know this was said when I dropped him off. Anyway I get there later to pick him up and her brother starts raving to me about what a great kid he is and how cute he is. No one had to fight him - it didn't take him long to realise this was only a baby - black white asian - who gives a s**t. Seems my son has given him the confidence to now talk to black people, asian people.
Had I know he had this hatred my son would never have been near him but it just proves that a babies smile can melt most hearts. Oh and he still asks about my son every time he goes there.

[tyler's mum]

people can be so rude, dont they relize they are baby, they cant speak for themselfs, you think the world would be so different from back in them days when it was black and white, people are just people, no one is better then the other

[nemosmum]

K, I know what your saying is so true but I guess the protective mummy instincts would come into play if some one made a direct comment to me about DS.
I think the reason I dont get comments like that is due to DS's light skin and people dont automatically label him as Indigenous.

This can be a double edged sword, it may be harder for him to feel like he connects with his Indigenous culture coz of the way he looks(I hope this isnt the case though) alot of people say "oh but he isnt really Aboriginal is he" I think they just look at him and judge by his skin, which is sad.

My DH occasionally gets weird looks from people and your right a smile does break down barriers. All he has to do is smile and people change their attitude about him. He has such an infectious smile people just cant help but like him :)

[Kamaikia]

Maybe you are lucky that you haven't received too many horrible comments. At first I was defensive but it really doesn't take long to get bored with argueing. I think that as our children will face this themselves when they are older we have to teach them how to deal with it properly. If they see us react and argue or get violent then chances are this is how they will react, just reinforcing peoples ignorant beleifs that black people are violent. I think we just need to teach them about being proud and about others ignorance. We need to teach them to hold their heads high no matter what and to never lower their standards. It is a hard thing to do but we can only try.
And it doesn't matter the colour of their skin, being aboriginal or african or whatever is about whats in your heart. A pride, a connection to the land and its people, its something bigger than black or white. A light skinned person can have more of an idea about their culture then any dark skinned person.

[tyler's mum]

that is so wise, i only wish i can teach that to tyler as well as i think you will to ur bub, i want her to row into a wondering and caring person, to stand up for herself and not let people get her down,, i dont want her to have my issues if u get what i mean?

[Tisme]

I must admit I am a stirrer when it comes to these comments. Both my children are now fairly even skinned (not really olive or fair) but both have gorgeous brown eyes. When they have been in the sun however they get a real Eastern European look to them and I often get asked what nationality they are .... you should see peoples reactions when I tell them they are Irish, Scottish, Welsh or Alaskan .... they technically are Irish or Welsh but most people will associate BLUE white skin, blue eyes and red hair to these nationalities not my "Italian" looking children. They don't know what to say ....

I have gone through life with people assuming that I am Australian. My catch phrase (which my mother taught me) was "I was only born here, not bred here" Sounds terrible but I grew up with my nationality and culture quenched under anglo-ism and I was jealous of my dark skinned friends (I am typically pale, starwberry hair and blue eyed) and the fact that they could outwardly LOOK there nationality ... and they were jealous of me for fitting in.

[Pixie]

I found this very interesting I am english and my DB is Turkish/Australian so obviously our baby will be both lol and I was thinking the other day wonder if people will be able to tell, like my hair is light coloured and his is black, but as kids we were both blonde. We both have olive skin. Dying to see bubs lol

we are going to come across people who are naive and arrogant everywhere, it amazes me people can be so out right and dam rude though. I can't bear racism or people identifying you by your skin colour or religion, for me as long as your a good person have the correct morals and accept people for who they are, that's what's important.

And you know I think your daughter is adorable!!!

[tyler's mum]

my mum has got it, she has got olive skin, yet me and my sister are fair, we are aussie so is my mum and people always ask if she islander, beacause of her colour, im kinda jealous cause im so fair yet my daughter has beauitful olive skin and im like a chost...lol

[Kamaikia]

Elanor I am curious - even though you were jealous are you still proud of having a culture that many don't. Will you tell people at any opportunity your background. Its a hard one - I don't know what I would teach my son, or how I would teach him if he were really light skinned as there would be alot of problems he would miss out on. He is dark skinned so I guess thats not a problem I have to face. This multi cultural society we live in is great but it does create alot of confused people doesn't it.

[Tisme]

K I am very proud of my Irish background and love to tell people that my children are Irish as they have citizenship. But at the same time I will teach them to treat EVERYONE the same and to not assume that just because your child is dark they think one way and because someone else is Asian that they think another. That's not meant to sound harsh but i guess may offend some ... I don't know but I mean it literally ... we are all equal and if half the community can teach their children that then we will be alot better off.

I regret to say though that some people will push their nationality as far as they can EG. Orlandosmum you said you percieve a type of sadness in people when they hear your son is Aboriginal, could this be because SOME (not majority from where I live) play on their heritage and play the "woe is me, I'm hard done by card??" I say this as an anglo so please correct me if I am way out of line. I don't take offence I promise, but that is the way I see it.

EG2. The rapists who claimed the other day that they knew no better as they grew up in Pakistan and "that is how we treat women there". Is that the case???

[tyler's mum]

you would think people would be more open minded these days, as there are so many race's in australia... like in my family there are a few mixed races, , its rare these days for there not to be...

[Kamaikia]

elanor I don't mean to sound harsh but I think that it shows your ignorance by saying we are all equal - look at the world we aren't. Whites blacks asians muslims - we are not treated equally..
But that can be changed, not by half the community, we all need to get involved.
And I was wondering (not having a go just curious) what you meant by some ( i'm assuming aboriginal people) play on their heritage and play the "woe is me, I'm hard done by card".

[Tisme]

As I said I don't take offence ... and I certainly don't mean to offend.

I just have come across a couple of people in my life that do say I'm Aboriginal so you HAVE to give me an education, and I"m muslim so you HAVE to let me go to this school. I know that in the past there have been minority abuse and racial slander but I don't think that some pockets of society being raised to believe that because of this history that they are entitled to more than I whose race and people where tortured by the English if they tried to speak their own language, or sent here to starve for trying to feed their families at home, or who were chastised and abused for practicing their religion. I am not bitter about my relaions as close as my great Grandfather being shot for being Irish, it's the past.

I am not saying that eveyone does this ....

I know we are not all equal and thats why I'm saying that I will teach my children to TREAT everyone equal. I do it quite easily in my daily comings and goings, either working in the jails or in the schools I don't give anyone any less of my time because of their crime or history. You may not believe me and that is your choice but I am a decent person and look at getting to know someone before I pass judgement.

[tyler's mum]

eleanor i totally argree with what ur saying it makes so much sence

[Kamaikia]

I beleive everyone, black white asian muslim all have the right to demand education, shout it from the rooftops - thats the only way to fix the worlds problems.
I'm still confused though what more are they entitled to??? What are other cultures getting that you aren't.
It sounds like you want to debate who's culture suffered more. I am not interested in a debate about the past - I admit I would know absolutly nothing about your past your familys past.
I am choosing to beleive you as I too try not to pass judgement (although I am human and fail sometimes) I am just trying to clear up some of the things you have said so that I don't assume.

[nemosmum]

I regret to say though that some people will push their nationality as far as they can EG. Orlandosmum you said you percieve a type of sadness in people when they hear your son is Aboriginal, could this be because SOME (not majority from where I live) play on their heritage and play the "woe is me, I'm hard done by card??" I say this as an anglo so please correct me if I am way out of line. I don't take offence I promise, but that is the way I see it.

EG2. The rapists who claimed the other day that they knew no better as they grew up in Pakistan and "that is how we treat women there". Is that the case???

I think your referring to my comment that some people look at me funny when I say his dad is Indigenous and I take their looks as "Oh how terrible for you both" I think what I was meaning was that some people feel like being Aboriginal is a bad thing, that if your Aboriginal your going to be a drunk or be lazy or something. Dh does still sadly get these kinds of comments and the sterotypes do stick.

I really get offended when people respond negetively to the way we embrace DS's Indigenous background eg when we go to Indigenous concerts or festivals etc. Dh is a very proud Koori and even though his very urbanised (is that a word? :p ) meaning he doesnt live a traditional Aboriginal lifestyle he still has strong ties to his land and his past. I think alot of people feel threatened by this and think his going to pull out the race card or something and whinge "oh poor me, Im so disadvantaged". But I can tell you that the race card is already out, he has dealt with alot of racist bigots in his time and unless you have experienced this kind of hatred first hand you cant possibly imagine how that effects a persons soul. This is something that will be passed on to Orlando and he will hopefully have pride and respect for his amazing heritage, hopefully he will not have to face the prejudices his father and ancestors have faced but I truly doubt he will escape the legacy of hate.

All we can do is try and raise him with dignity and respect for human kind.

I hope I answered your Q Eleanor, I think I got side tracked LOL such a heavy subject :)

[Tisme]

I'm too tired to explain myself properly I guess Kamaikia

Tyler's Mum I guess what I'm trying to say is if you have the heart you can turn around and tell the nosey so and so's that your child is a martian for all that it is their business. Or say "can't you tell, we are Australian" by saying this you are taking the attention off your baby and the loss you feel for her father, and putting power back in your own hands .... because you are Australian, she is just an African Australian.

[Kamaikia]

Maybe you could explain it to me in the morning then when your not tired - I'm really curious to hear your answer now :)

[tyler's mum]

i jugde people on there personality and there kindness not what race or where ever they are from.. thats what i will be teaching tyler

[WeThree]

um girls, from what i read of eleanors post she was actually being supportive, maybe her words have been misinterpreted?
btw people always aske me where did coops get his blonde curls from and where did tilly get her bright red hair from etc, and i dont see the big deal, if people are asking to be friendly/make converation, whats the big deal? i love raving on about my kids so i dont mind, if someone asks about your kids nationality, colouring etc, because they find them beautiful, dont get offended, be proud :)
(unless they are being rude, like the person who made the 'oh Aboriginal kids arent cute comment~omg!!! what is wrong with some people!)

[WeThree]

hehe just thought id add, most people probably end up wishing they didnt ask me these questions cause i end up goin on and on about how this grandmother and her brothers and sisters on dh side had this colour hair and were from this country, but then my mothers side ...... you get the drift, bore them to tears lol, well they did ask lol

[tyler's mum]

i do love talking about tyler, but the people iam taking about say it in a smartass way, they look at me like they jugde me or something, i understand what eleanour is saying, it would not bother me so much if they didnt look at me the way the do

[nemosmum]

No offense Erin but I think what Tylers mum and Kaimaika are talking about (and face on a daily basis) is totally different to some one commenting on your child's blonde hair.

I am not trying to offend you so please dont take it like that but I just think its a bigger issue than what your making out.

Eleanor- I was not offended by your posts and I think you are a geniune person with a good heart :)

[WeThree]

i know sarah, and i wasnt trying to trivialise the issue, mabe just lighten it a bit, specially cause it seemed that eleanor was just trying to help and her words were getting twisted around a bit, sorry girls!

ps wasnt really referring to the biracial issue as much, more to some comments some others made regarding how mad they get when people ask where their children got hair colour etc from
cheers :)

[tyler's mum]

its so easy to misunderstand what people are saying some times words can be a funny thing, when ur trying to explian your views

[nemosmum]

I understand Erin, no hard feelings LOL will you still chat to me at the nov.mums meet? :( huh will you?

Sarah :)

[WeThree]

I understand Erin, no hard feelings LOL will you still chat to me at the nov.mums meet? :( huh will you?

Sarah :)

lol sarah, no sorry you will just have to talk to the hand... lol
of course i will!!! you are fab :)

[tyler's mum]

oh do u feel the love people...lol ;)

[nemosmum]

LOL yes how right you are Erin I am FAB LOL :D

[WeThree]

hehehe :D
oops my hehehe wasnt long enough so i have to write a few more words

[nemosmum]

Thanks everyone for making this an interesting discussion tonight :D

Im off to bed *Yawn* Im soooo tired.

[tyler's mum]

you had some great stuff to say aswell, i hope to chat again... have a good nite sleep

[Lunar]

Hi there,
I think everyone has the right idea and I do know how you feel!
My daughter has Down Syndrome and I have had alot of people say "Oh look at the DOWNS girl" I really hate that. I wish people would say 'Look at that beautiful little girl" Some people are just blind I think, they don't see the PERSON and thats what we all are first and foremost PEOPLE, purple, yellow, white, green, black, brown, pink,blue, we are ALL different. Imagine how BORING the world would be if we were all the same colour, shape, size etc????? :rolleyes: And what I REALLY hate is people think they have to actually stop me in the street to say how sorry they are!!??? And when I ask for what in heavens name why they are so sorry they tell me "because of your daughter" I say why would you need to be sorry? She is ALIVE and LOVED, She is just like any other little girl in the world, She needs love and guidance.
Sorry to blabber on. Hope it doesn't get to you too much, you'll learn to shut those people out and ignore them, just carry on with whatever your doing.
Kris.
mum to Emily 3.5yo and Bit (edd 1/3/06)

*An extra little chromosome that's all it is, you see. Where all of you were born with 2, my angel was blessed with 3*

[Baby Girl]

Oh I can relate!!

I am a red haired, freckled faced imported convict aussie and my partner is a fresh off the boat (his own words and not so fresh!!) vietnamese man. Well our girls don't look at all asian and we always get asked if he is my bf and who is the father of the girls. We just laugh and say nope they are his kids, I am the stepmum!! People freak and look very stunned!!

It is even funnier when he is on his own, so many people ask if he has adopted or if he is babysitting for a friend he kind of shrugs it off and says no they are mine but their mum is a control freak and wouldn't let my genes get a look in!!

The best one he came up with was in a shopping centre with our DD1 and a nice old woman asked her where her daddy was, my DP looked at her and said I am her dad and the woman said oh I am so sorry she doesn't look anything like you, I assumed you were just looking after her, well DP being the smart a*#e that he is said "oh s**t, I have trouble with my eyesight, I must have taken the wrong kid home from day care again." After looking shocked for a moment the woman caught the joke and had a good laugh!!

The thing that bugs me about the whole thing is his family want us to have DNA tests done because they don't think he is their father. And they aren't shy about letting me know about it either. DD1 looks exactly like one of DP's younger sisters but with paler skin (not anything like me or her dad) and DD2 looks just like me. Anyway he IS their father, he knows it, I know it and they can get stuffed!!

[Fraggle]

Hi Tyler's Mum,

My boy Thomas is part German, English, Chinese and part Australian. Everyone and I mean Everyone stops me and says how gorgeous he is and where is he from etc etc. When i say proudly "He is part chinese", they don't beleive me because he is not in the slightest bit dainty. He is big boned and solid like his dad. They always say "Oh, I thought he was part Mouri or islander or something, but definitly not asian" (sp?). I just smile and say, "yes his dad is from Hong Kong".

I think what I am trying to say is that if you don't make an issue out of it, it wont be an issue for Tyler. Try to put aside the pain you feel for the father and the situation and I agree with what some of the other girls have said. Accept and Embrace her heritage, it will help Tyler to be proud of who she is.

I must admit I am also one of those people who when I see a gorgeous multi-cultural baby I gush and I am curious of their heritage. Call me nosey, but it's like in art when you mix paints together and you get beautiful new colours I guess.

Anyway, good luck and stand tall.

[nemosmum]

Well I dont know about other peoples natures but its not in mine to be racist.

I have made it clear to my family from the begining, that if any one was to "crack a joke" well meaning or not we wouldnt be returning with our son any time soon. Theres no place for racism in our home or my families/DH families.

I feel our DS will get enough of that when he goes out into the world. Actually I dont know if he will or not I cant predict how people will react to him but I can ensure he has a loving, happy, healthy home and a safe place where no one will make fun of him or his heritage.

I dont think its easy to be racist I think its just stupid. JMO :)

[tyler's mum]

there is many multi culture babys in my family, so for some reason i just never thought it would be an issue.. i just have always seen them as babys the thing is i dont no much about her african heritage, as i didnt really get to no her dad that well, but if she does wanna learn and for that matter find him later on in life,, i will help her the best i can, i think iam starting to learn to deal with people better, and just be happy that other people think tyler is a beauitful little girl,

[Jaileth]

She is a beautiful little girl!

I have a friend who's son is part aboriginal and as his dad isn't around so much any more and she is quite fair, she gets a few comments too. She is also a young mum and often gets asked 'who she's babysitting for' - which frustrates her more than people asking where her ds comes from.

Take heart and know that not everyone judges! But some of us are curious. I have to say that I don't particularly see a skin colour when I look at someone - it's weather or not they are happy and friendly that counts!

[Ky]

I think, that if you are a truely happy person who doesn't look for differences in others who just checks out what kind of people they are ie. friendly, generous,positive etc ... you just don't notice what race or colour they are!

My Mum's best friend was a lovely Maori woman who became a huge part of our family as I was growing up. When I was 17 we moved cities and although we kept in touch, the 10 hour drive was a bit much sometimes and we rarely saw each other. My Mum died when I was 25 and I called her friend who immediately booked herself on the train and came down to be a fantastic support to our family. My bil was asked to go and pick her and her infant son up from the railway station, as I was busy with the funeral director. I described her to him so that he would recognise her ... about 5'2", slim build, beautiful curly brown hair, face that lights up when she smiles etc ... He came home with her and took me aside saying quietly ... "you didn't tell me she was a Maori, this would have helped a bit you know!"

I didn't even think to mention it, as she was just Fran!

btw ... my best friend is half chinese, tall, olive skinned with knee length chestnut hair! She is the most beautiful woman I have ever met ... and that is mainly because she is more beautiful on the inside than her exquisite outward appearance!

[nemosmum]

For me personally I do see colour, I just choose to see it and react positively to it :D

When I met DH that was actually the first thing I noticed, his gorgeous dark skin and hot bod ;) Call me shallow but hey I was 21 at the time so I guess I was!
(no offense to any 21 one year old chickees out there)

I think we all notice peoples differences its how we choose to react to them that makes the BIG difference. If you choose to respond to how a person looks OR how the person acts?

I dont judge people by what they look like (with the exception of DH :p hehehe)
I look at how they act, what they say etc and then see if I like them or not. If I dont like them (hey that happens) it is not due to what they look like, more to do with their personality.

JMO :)