Counselling Post EPU/Transfer

[FOURtunate]

After my ED, I started to wonder about counselling for Donors post EPU.

I think it's a bit bizarre that there is no follow up after such a huge life event.

I picked up the phone and called the SIVF Counsellor myself when things went pear shaped. But what for those who can't make that move themselves?

Has anyone else ever thought that there should be a little TLC for Donors and Recips after the big day?

[leisurly]

Thats a good point

I do know at my clinic I was told and know someone also at the same clinic, that did use the service regularly, that they are here for me to contact and have as many sessions i liked during my journey through donation - recipient on my part.

I think your right though about a different approach, I know after being hit by the car and getting depressed, or low the last thing you are capable of is making a phone call. I was called up after my first cycle in the TWW from the coordinator to see how I was which I thought was lovely, but no one called me when the scan was negative, now that really would have been lovely. I coped very well being rather logical about things, but it is nice to know someone cares.

The same goes for donors, I'm surprised that even the donor coordinators don't follow you up, especially when the pregnancy test is done, as I think then there is also a need for the donor for help, if the result is positve how does the donor feel, there must always be some eliment of doubt about doing the right thing and also suddenly realising you have assisted in creating a new life. If negative then the feeling of failure and could you have done more.

I do wonder if anonymous donors who go through the clinics get more support as the coordinators have got to know them.

I know when I had the known embryo's the coordinator rang me and was lovely but did say they didn't usually get involved in known, but as I'd given up a donor and they felt that was such a selfless act they wanted to help as much as they could, partly because alarm bells had rung and they were worried, as it did, it would fall though.

sorry rabbiting again.

I don't know how you would go about suggesting a post pick up session but it really is an excellent idea

Lxx

[sarahstarfish]

Hey Ladies

I think it really depends on the clinic - my first cycle at Monash IVF (Sunnybank) the nurses could not do enough to make sure everything was OK after EPU but both other cycles it was kinda 'seeya bye'. In fact, I tried to contact the Nurse from my second cycle to talk about why things had gone so badly but she ignored all emails and phonecall messages so I got the picture pretty quickly. And the third cycle I really had a little giggle cos they had a bunch of flowers for my recipient after transfer and all I got was a letter telling me where to send any bills - noice!

And I don't think it's that most donors expect anything other than a friendly call to see how they are faring both medically and emotionally, but I guess normal IVF girls don't usually get that either do they.

It's a very good point and unless we start sending letters to clinics to point out how they can change the way they treat clients, it is one that will be missed. Some clinics also charge counselling as a separate item...who would pick up the tab for that if a donor requested counselling after the event? Really it should be compulsory shouldn't it, for donors and recipients.

Again it was only Monash IVF at Sunnybank who welcomed any contact after EPU and I actually rang the Counsellor about some issues once the twins were born and she was happy to spend time with me over the phone. Please can't we just clone this clinic!!

Good point ladies - and you're right, not everyone is able to reach out from the bottom of the pit and ask for the help they need. And there are certainly some very messy situations that can and do occur.

How do we go about changing it?

xx

[TJ]

I know i was offered counseling many times throughout my cycle.
Maybe it depends on which clinic you are going through.

I really think it should be mandatory and be offered at ALL clinics.
Especially for donors and recipients of donor eggs.
Either of those 2 scenarios make the IVF journey that little more difficult.

Good on you for being able to take that first step and pick up the phone yourself!!

[jo-anne.36]

hello at my clinic feritlity first they are realy good with me and my lovely to evey time i my cycles and bt and it has been bfn they tell me to have my couselling wheather iam in cycle all not it surpore to be free when you are in cycle but they let me have it after my cycle i think that realy great as i do'nt pay any money xxxx jojo