he wants a bfn

[jessgray]

well i havent done test yet so i dont know uf im worrying over nothing yet. dp didnt want to get get a hpt incase he got the wrong one while i was sleeping in the lounge lol
he's hoping for a bfn.
he doesnt want a another kid yety, he was barely ready for ds2.i know he wants to abort if i get a bfp.
i dont know what i want. i dont feel ready for 3 under 3 but i dont know if i could go through with a termination either:crying: he's leaving the descion up to me.
all my family are dead against abortion

[Roopee]

I was in a similar situation with this pregnancy.

It was a total surprise and a complete shock. I was devasted, my husband wasnt happy but he coped better than i did. I spent 3 days in the fetal position on our bed crying. I felt like someone had died and in a way i felt like a part of me had.

The morning i told him, i said i was pregnant but not to worry, there was no way i was keeping it. I called the abortion clinic that day and made an appointment for 4 days later. There was no way i was having the baby. I didnt think i could cope and financially, 4 in 6 years was going to be a huge strain. We'd need a new car etc etc.

Strangly enough my DH said to me "its up to you, im ok with whatever you decide" (NOT helpfull). I felt like i needed someone to TELL me what to do.
So laying on the bed for 3 days gave me aot of time to think about the rammifications of what i was about to do. On day three i KNEW i couldn't do it. There was no way i could go thru with it. I had just watched and helped my best friend thru a termination and i knew i was nt strong enough to do it myself.
There was nothing for it but to have another baby. I knew if idid terminate there i was no way i would ever be the same again. would be forever wondering if it was a boy/girl. When the due date was etc etc. It would have done my head in.
I got out of bed and said to him- i cant do this, we have to have it. The smile on his face was huge- he'd been so sad too but i so caught up in my own emotions i couldnt even consider his.
So here i am, 36 weeks pregnant with my 4th child and couldnt be happier.
The point of my post is NOT to make you feel guilty at all, PLEASE dont think that, but to shed some light on how your emotions can and will roller coaster. Feel free to PM me if you need to chat.
I hope you get the result your after and that you can decide whats best for your family:hugs:

[jessgray]

i feel so torn. i read what a abortion involves on the betterhealth site and it sounds invasive(sp?) i dont think i can do it :(

[jessgray]

be so much easier if there was a little fairy to tell me exactly what to do:laughing: i'm too scared to test and i know a bfp is likely coz i am having some preg symptoms:crying:

[TJ]

Darl, if you do end up having to go down the abortion road, :fingerscrossed: you dont!!
And you have any questions regarding the procedure or anything, im more than happy to try and help.

I have previously had 2 terminations - and to be honest, they werent nearly as bad as i thought they would have been.

:hugs: :hugs:

[jessgray]

thanks i should go test put everyone out of suspense lol put me out of my worry.
i'm on mini pill 2

[Roopee]

i feel so torn. i read what a abortion involves on the betterhealth site and it sounds invasive(sp?) i dont think i can do it :(


I did that too. Probably shouldnt have but if i didnt then this baby might just not be here, so im glad i did.
I also read somewhere (in a post here i think) That not many people would regret having kids but alot do regret terminating IYKWIM.

[jessgray]

i get ya i have been thinking shouldi get a bfp and go through with a termination i'd probably look at my ds's and wonder would they look liek their sibling that i just terminated? would thye have got along etc?you know all the what if's

[Lil X-men]

Jess, how about you do a pregnancy test first before worrying yourself silly about abortions when it might not be necessary.:yes:
Chances are you not pregnant and have nothing to worry about.:thumbsup:
But if you are pregnant then you can try and think over what you want to do.
Try not to worry about something until you know for sure the stress can't do you any good darl!!!:D

[maybe1more]

Hey Jess, your little man was due is the same month as mine, and i honestly wouldnt know what to do either, Thinking of you darl and what ever decision you make will be the right one.:thumbsup:

[jessgray]

i got a :bfn: but i am feeling really :barf: so i think i'll retest in a few days i didnt get bfp with ds2 till i was about 8 weeks

[jessgray]

how reliable are the confirm brand hpt?i keep feeling like im gunna spew

[FluffyDucks]

I tried a number of different brands all saying they were 99% accurate and you can test 7 and 3 days before and the two I did came back BFN but then I missed my period..did another test and it came back BFP.

And here I am preggers 20 weeks later.

You may just need to wait until you either get or miss your period or if you are really freaking out go to your docs and get a blood test.

You could also be feeling sick with stress and worry. I know I do when I am freaking out about something.

And whatever your decision know that its the right one for you. We arent in your shoes and dont know your situation. But hopefully we can all support you in the end...with a new baby or not.

All I can say is that it will be okay.

Michelle

[jessgray]

well i'm BF'ing ds2 and havent got a AF yet:confused: and i'm on mini pill so i dont know. it feels like ds2 pregnancy all over agin lol:laughing:

[Seekrit]

when Cobey was your bub's age I'd feel sick everytime i breastfed for some reason.

Being sick isn't the only sign of pregnancy, nor is pregnancy the only reason for being sick.

[jessgray]

i'm also tired , and getting cravings for food i dont like to eat:confused:

[HoopDeeDoo]

could be that you are tired and run down, I felt like I was pregnant right before I got my first AF with DS2, I was still BF when I got it back

[Roopee]

I have been on here a while and i would have to disagree with that comment. 99% Of the women i have spoken to dont regret their abortion at all.

I had one when i was 17 and have never regretted it, not for one second. Even though mine was very traumatic, (i was awake as i opted to not have any aneasthetic) and i had health problems result after, if it came down to the choice again at that time, i would do it again in a second!!

You are asleep during a termination and it is quite easy for the doctor.. Takes about 15 mins and it is the most commonly performed operation in Australia.

Good luck with whatever happens

I read it in a post on here. I wasnt saying it was my opinion. I was just giving the OP "food for thought"
While it may be "quite easy" for the Dr, it doesnt neccesarily mean its easy for the woman going thru it. I get that you have had one so you know better than me but the OP is asking for our support- thats all i was giving her.:thumbsup:

[Beany]

I'm on the mini pill, too and went through the same thing about 2 weeks ago: nausea, headaches, abdominal aches and smell sensitivity - exactly the same early symptoms of my pregnancy with the little one. On Wednesday, I got my period.

Luckily for me, I knew there was absolutely no chance of me being pregnant. Though I suppose it WAS the season for immaculate conceptions ...

[Seekrit]

i'm also tired , and getting cravings for food i dont like to eat:confused:

are you having iron supplements? I'm feeling this way and it's because I'm lacking in iron a fair heap. :)

[jessgray]

:yes: i take 2 iron tablets a day with orange juice :D
my iron levels get checked in 2 weeks.:thumbsup:
its wierd i am craving pork alot and anyone who knows me will know i cant stand eating it:confused:

[Jodiee]

I hope all goes well for you, matey.

I understand totally what you are going through, having had 3 in 3 years, it is extremely hard, and I must admit, I struggled alot through the first year (having 2 in the same year).. I said in the other post, I would have an abortion if I couldnt cope/afford another bub, and also believe it is the right thing to do if you feel it is..
If you need any :hugs: PM me, and Ill give you lots..
I really hope you keep getting your BFN's if thats what you are after, but then again, I also know that feeling, you know you want a BFN, but when it happens, your sad also..
Keep updated.

[jessgray]

on monday i am going to go see my dr geet ym vitmin levels checked ( iwas low in b12 and folate and iron after 30 weeks preg with ds2) and get a preg test done too. then i gues i'll go from there i hope i can get an appt some time next week:fingerscrossed: :laughing:

[V8]

Did you go to the doc Jess? Are you pregnant?

[the_original_duchess]

jess :hugs: im sorry you are going through this, i dont think your pregnant, but if you are go with what you think is right. and after you have decided, if you need anyone to talk to, im always here. i hope that it all works out for the best hun.

[jessilyn0412]

I am against abortion. I feel like a child is a gift and God doesn't give you more than u can handle. I am pregnant with my 2nd child and was totally scared but God always provides. I think u should talk to your partner about this and tell him how u feel. I know i would hate to do something i felt pressured into doing. Talk about it, Pray about it, then make the the right choice for your family. whatever that choice may be. best of luck!:)

[CurlyG]

Jess are you pg? :)

[catalicious]

thats what I want to know

Well Jess????

[Melo]

This thread is from the start of January :).

Jess hasnt been on that much either :no:

[mikaylasmummy]

I am probably not the right person to answer this , with what I am going through, but if you are ready then have a 3rd... at the end of your day he will love and cheris the child when he holds bubs in his arms for the 1st time.

[Tam-I-Am]

Given the OP was posted back in January, I think I'll close this now...