View Full Version : Boastful inlaws
I really don't know what to say to my inlaws when they start sort of boasting about their finances and more than average monetary acheivements.
Don't get me wrong I am happy if someone is prospering but they seem to talk about little else.
These are my dh's siblings and their spouses and they seem to have an air of competition about them.
I think that they get a kick out of letting me know their details and frankly I just find it a bit nauseating.:barf:
I do not like talking about our personal finances to them.
Can anyone else relate to this? I am having problems relating to these situations.
Just goes to show that money doesnt make you happy doesnt it.
I find people who do this (my SIL is one) are not happy with other aspects of their lives so feel that they have to boast about that. Most of the time you will find that they actually OWE alot of money.
I woud try and ignore it if you can- boast about how cute your kids are etc. They'll soon get the hint.
We have the same situation. For some reason one of my relatives loves to show off and always always always talks about money.
so competitive. Its hard not to want to get one over on them. One day I joked that I would like to win lotto and I would buy a SLIGHTLY nicer house and a SLIGHTLY nicer car and spend my life nicking them in the head by buying slightly nicer things than they had.
I said it TO them. I said it as a joke and we all laughed, but I think it made them realise that we thought they talked about 'things' too much.
I'm pretty happy with my lot so it doesn't bother me as much at the moment, but at different times of my life it has irked me more.
They must be boring...is that all they hav to talk about...
We encounter people like all the time and we just hold hands and laugh...we hav something that money cant buy and we live every day with such passion...can they buy that?
Anyway its more interesting to talk about all the fun things u do everyday with your fam...dont they do fun stuff?
I think it's sad that they are trying to impress you this way. Maybe they are jealous of you?
I can't stand it when people base their life on how much money they have or how many 'materialistic items' they have going.
Fight back by raising your kids differently, where they know that being obsessed with money and possessions won't determine how wise and powerful they can be.
What I wouldn't give to see/hear Chloe explain this to her greedy relatives someday! :D
ive been thinking and its sad...they probably dont know any better....deep down they probably know all they hav is money...hopefully they ca enjoy their money, share their love and enjoy all the other "rich" things in the world...like cuddles...a cup of tea and a chat about your kids...
I think that's very true Kiah. I know a very well-off couple who have all the material trappings life has to offer. Unfortunatley, money can't save their marriage and it looks like they are getting divorced, meaning their two children under 2 will not have mum & dad together. :gloomy: I am guilty of wanting more from time to time, but without my DH and DS, it all means nothing.
I have the same prob with my in-laws. It does get annoying, and they winge too with any function I put on because it's not 'up to their standard'. but just think about all of the cool things that you and your family can enjoy because you're not so 'hung up' about finances.
camping: ( i know my in-laws would NEVER go camping... how beneath them!:rolleyes: ) But how much fun are camping trips!!!:D
movies in the park: You know a lot of city councils do the free movie in the park.
appreciating the more 'important' things: like time together and playing with your children rather than just buying them things to entertain themselves with...
this is what I stop to think about anyway when my in-laws start to get to me. I don't care about how much money they have, because I'd rather anyday that my kids understand how to give and be generous because they know there there are so many kids in the world worse off than them, then to grow up with the "out of sight, out of mind" attitde that my nieces and nephews have got, and just complain when things are not the latest, or big enough, or the right brand.
Sorry to hijack..:o
i fully understand, ney years night i had to sit and listen to my uncle going on and on about his "new house cleaner for his 1 bedroom apartment with city views":barf: funny thing is he has no money and was actually telling my dads best mate who has millions (he has so much money because he is so tight), and dads mate would never tell you how much he has or bost about any of it
growing up in a house that i admit we had a fair amount of money to play with, and also being brought up around hard working people who have made a sucess of there lives, one thing i have learnt is that those who are quite well off and are happy with that dont bost about it, if they are smart they keep it to themselves. (not even i have ever known how much my dad earns) the people who are telling there finantual (so?) situation to the world in my opinion are not all that satified with there life, they feel the need to make there life sound better then others due to the lack of other things.
my hubby gets a little down sometimes when we dont have enough money (in his eyes) in the savings account. i would not care if we were living in a one room shack, as long as there is a roof and food i am A OK :thumbsup: .
i recon you should just let everything they say just go in one ear and out the other, just feel sorry for them, after all they are the ones that are bosting to you, so what is it in your life that makes them want to sound better ????
i work in finance and am surrounded by money hungry people all day. its obscene what people will do to get extra cash.
we are content with our little car which we own outright and our affordable home loan. the best things for us are going for a walk together and playing with our daughter. having a laugh in the garden.
We have very wealthy friends and very poor friends who all mix together without prejudice which makes me very proud. We are all rich in happiness and love. That sounds really w@nky but you know what i mean!
i have extremely greedy obnoxious relatives (my aunty for example who has not given my mother her inheritence from my grandmother after 2,5 years). Braggers and boasters and keeping up with the joneses'.
I cant believe that people would choose money over love.
I dont talk to my IL's that rave on about cash - i walk away while the rich ones whinge about not having enough money to do something, or ask them do they really need it.
I have a 'friend' who is like this. She constantly goes on about how well off they are, the designers they wear, etc. Thing is none of its her money, its all her inlaws. Her DH has a little but her inlaws have made sure that she gets nothing. They help out with everything, going garantour (sp?) for them buying cars etc but its all in her DH's name. She even goes on about how people with less money than her shouldn't go the same places as her because they ruin the experience for her.:shame: :thumbsdown: Not nice at all. Her inlaws are nothing like that and they come from money, they would never dream of behaving this way.
She even said to me the other week that I should be mature enough to admit to her that we are broke and I am jealous of her!:eek: Yeah right! Just because I don't talk myself up that mean we are broke. :laughing:
Some people just need to make themselves feel better by making other feel bad.
It's interesting but It seems that we all know someone who is like this or else we've seen it at some stage in our lives. I just find it hard when the offensive behavior is so close to home.
In this situation, the wealth is a fairly recent thing and it's going to their heads and I feel that they want me to be jealous, but I'm not.
What I am is: dissapointed that our relationships are so superficial.
I have the urge of somehow telling them that they need the wealth more than I do.
Would this be an appropriate thing to say?
I don't see them very often, maybe about once a month but when I do see them, I come away with the impression that they think I envy them. I somehow want to make it clear that this is not the case as I am happy with my life as it is. I'm not wealthy but not poor either. I have a loving husband and 2 beautiful dd's,
a beautiful home in a modest suburb, a few close friends, and that's about it. I am grateful for this and I am happy as things are.
Interestingly as some of you have mentioned, some people that are extremely wealthy do not behave this way. I wonder why that is?
So is it that sudden wealth might have a terrible influence on some peoples lives?:detective:
Can money be a monster, a bad influence to some people?
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