Supposed to be a happy time of year!

[MissBrightside]

So why do I feel like ****. Im sitting here crying again because people who I thought might give a little thought about me don't.
I feel like I have no real friends and when I do find people that I have something in common with I push them away cos I dont want to be hurt. I try to stay positive but when I get let down time and time again I feel like I must be the most annoying loser in the world. All I want is friends that I can rely on and that can rely on me. I think Im a nice person but I start to wonder if I really am cos no one seems to want to be with me. I must be boring.
Been invited to go out somewhere by so called friends, in the organising phase ask them to let me know whats going on, time, place. Day of night out comes I get no call, no message. I try and call a couple of times and message a couple of times then give up. The first time this happened in Nov. I still havent had a reply from them. The second time is tonight. I got a call from someone I know asking if I wanted to go out tomorrow night for New Years. I tried finding out about tickets to the thing she was interested in (I know other ppl going there) tickets are sold out so I txtd telling her no go. Tried calling her with no answer and no reply to my txt which I sent around 2 and a half hours ago. Had a couple of other options from her but I feel like Im not welcome anymore. Dont feel welcome anywhere!!
The thing is I dont get to go out much at all. I know I have my kids and they come first but I feel such a huge void inside me. Its not about finding a partner cos I dont think Im ready for that, I just want someone to want me around. I dont know how much longer I can deal with feeling this way.
People say to me how strong I am after splitting up with my ex and what a great job Im doing. My ex hasnt seen the boys in over 6 weeks, and sees them whenever is convienient for him. I get no financial, physical or emotional help from him. I know alot of you are in the same boat, I suppose this is just my whinge for the day. I just dont feel like Im worthy of anything at the moment.
When my kids ask to see their dad it breaks my heart cos I dont know what to say to them. I feel like the world is on my shoulders sometimes and Im so lost.
OK I feel a bit better now getting that out. Sorry if it all sounds so negative. I have 1 more day to get in a more positive mode. I really hope 2007 brings some happy times for me and others that have had a challenging year.

[OneBabyBoy]

Sarah, your post made me cry :crying:
A virtual hug isn't enough I wish I could give you a real hug.
I know it probably doesn't help but there are so many people out there who feel the same as you, myself included. none of my friends have kids and they have kind of drifted away from me because they don't understand what I am going through.
I try to be strong and all my family thinks I am strong but I feel very lonely alot of the time.
I hope you are able to get some quality sleep tonight and I hope things look and feel better for you tomorrow. Please please PM me any time you are feeling down or need to talk :hugs:

[Ange&Seth]

I don't know what to say Chic. I don't know how you feel, I'm not in the same situation. But I can imagine that it must be really tough.

It's all well and good for me to sit here and tell you that if those 'friends' aren't returning calls etc and making you feel like sh!t, then they're not worth your tears or your time, but that's not going to make you feel better about the situation or yourself.

I'm sure you're a lovely person, and I think that I'd like to have someone like you as a friend :D

:hugs: :hugs: :hugs: for you Chic. I hope you feel better, and I KNOW that 2007 is going to bring great things for you!

[motherlylove]

im the same i have no true friends

[Mum2Bug]

Aww Sarah. If you werent so far away hun i'd come over and give you a hug! This will have to do for now though...:hugs: :hugs: :hugs:

[MissBrightside]

Thanks for your kind words and hugs guys. Im just a bit down atm. I know there are plenty more ppl out there worse off than me.
The thing is I wasnt planning on doing anything tomorrow night but then I get a txt asking if I want to do something and I get my hopes up and get excited that Im going to have a bit of a social outing without the kids, that I'll have some adult conversation with ppl my age. Then I get let down.
It all just gets a bit too much sometimes and I dont know which way to turn. Suppose I just needed to get it all out somewhere and I know I'll get some positive vibes thrown my way from evryone here.
Thanks again.

[munchkin05]

:hugs: :hugs:

i guess its this time of the year when everything revolves around those that mean the most to you and when they ignore you it makes it twice as hard

i know exactly how you are feeling and its not nice

im hopefully meeting with the ex tomorrow to discuss what he wants to do with ben weather he wants to be in his life or not im not having him coming and going when ever he pleases its all or nothing and i want it sorted now

cause i know 2007 IS MY YEAR and im sorting out my stuff so i can start the new year positively :smiliedance:
and i hope that all us single mummies have a great new year and everything that we set out to achieve to do we do we can do what ever we set our minds to

[Mum2Bug]

:hugs: :hugs:

i guess its this time of the year when everything revolves around those that mean the most to you and when they ignore you it makes it twice as hard

i know exactly how you are feeling and its not nice

im hopefully meeting with the ex tomorrow to discuss what he wants to do with ben weather he wants to be in his life or not im not having him coming and going when ever he pleases its all or nothing and i want it sorted now

cause i know 2007 IS MY YEAR and im sorting out my stuff so i can start the new year positively :smiliedance:
and i hope that all us single mummies have a great new year and everything that we set out to achieve to do we do we can do what ever we set our minds to

Glad to hear you are putting your foot down and doing that hun!!! You and ben deserve so much better than to be constantly stuffed around by D.

[ashleerose]

I know how you feel as i feel the same at this very moment.

Having had to move closer to my family after having to flee my ex, i have had very little opportunity to make any decent friends.

The people that i have met have all let me down in so many ways ie one friend used me after i spent an entire year at Tafe helping her complete the course (without me she probably would have failed) and then i gave her a whole heap of things etc etc only to have her turn around and basically send me all kinds of threatning emails.

I lent money to another friend and needless to say she never bothered paying me back and of course wants to pretend that we werent friends to begin with ??.

My family is dysfunctional at the very best.
My Dad is constantly trying to please my mother who is going through menopause and for some reason seems to be jealous of me (i know it sounds crazy but my dad is not allowed to do anything i need done if i need help as my mum just goes over the deep end, so i have very little help).
And to be honest i dont like to ask anyway.

My sister hates me and uses this situation to her advantage and does numerous little things to get to me.

I am not even going to go into it about my two brothers but lets just say once again its me and my two kids alone for New Years.

My two kids can be the best of friends but they can also be the worst of enemies and today they have been fighting non-stop.

My ex has nothing to do with the kids but in a way thats for the best (see other posts i have written).

I have had to stop all contact with his mother as it was causing more harm than good and my two very best friends in the world live on opposite sides of Australia.

I live in an area where everyone seems to have been married since the moment they were born, i feel as if i am the odd one out, its a very clicky area and everyone is pretty well-off in comparison to me.

So i sit here and i think to myself, i only hope 2007 will improve.

I am not at all interested in having a relationship all i want is a healthy social life, where i can take my kids to the park with other people and have bbqs, etc etc.

Instead of just the kids and I.

:(

[Hector]

Well kids you are not alone. There seems to be a lot of us feeling this way. It's such a shame we can't find each other in "real life"! I too had to move from my home (in UK) back to Oz to be near my family when I had bub and ex and I split. This new year only reminds me that I've been back here nearly 2 years and on top of not making a single friend, I've also been alienated by my sister and all her mates, who had offered a little bit of a social life. They've all just trapised out the door to a party I was not invited to, shouting 'happy new year' to me as I sit here on the computer like a loser :gloomy:

I think I'm normal. I've not really had this trouble making friends in the past - god, it's how I ended up in this single mummy mess - by oversocialising!!! And now I live in Hickville, QLD and can't find a single mate. There are other young mums here that I've tried to befriend but after I try it's like they go out of their way to avoid me afterwards...

Maybe I need to make a NY resolution to go to a 'Friends Making" course??? ARGH!!!! I am 25 and spending new years on a computer...

I refuse to let my life be over before it has really begun! Here's to a brilliant 2007 for ALL of us who have had a bad run in the last year (or 2 or 6!) Let the way be paved to a good and interesting new year for all! :yes:

[LilShenanigans]

Nigel no friends club starts here lol Welcome.

Let's see, what have my 'friends' done. Majority of them all got partnered up and married.
There's still one who talks to me occasionally and if she finds out I have a boyfriend, then she wants to invite "us" around for dinner! Yeeeeeeeeeaaah Right!
Oh no wait, then I have my child and NOBODY wants to know me because I chose to breastfeed instead of drink myself stupid.

NOW, a couple of them are having or had kids in their perfectly partnered worlds, and finally want to have the kids round for playtime - BIG WOOP.
Oh and the BEST one so far is the mother who is adament on bottlefeeding, has husband, family and friends who want to and are going to babysit, and Wants to organise a night out because it's SO DAMN EASY FOR HER TO GET A BABYSITTER! Which, btw I still breastfeed at least once a day... mostly at night... So not only Don't I want to go out, but I sure as hell don't want to get sh*tfaced for the sake of HER sanity!

HELL, Nobody thought of taking me out while I was(still am) GOING NUTS!

Oh Oh and of course new years eve... wonderful stuff. Last year I got a load of txt messages from friends telling me how much they were drinking, how much they were snorting and ALL of the fun they were having.
I'd like to say what I said to them, but it's not even something I can censor for this website.

This year a friend tells me she is just going to another friends house for a bit of a quiet night and I would be welcome, as there would other children about.
And what do I end up doing? Sitting at home, in front of the TV receiving msgs of "Happy New Year" which didn't get such a jolly reply!

Am I venting? Am I mad? Am I sick of it? YES!

Am I gonna sit here and live with it anymore? NO!:no:

My so called "friends" can shove it. I can happily make my OWN life a misery all by myself - I Don't Need Their Help! :mad:

[MissBrightside]

I keep getting that song my Steve Tyler and Santana in my head - try anything to just feel better!!
Im gonna try, NO Im gonna DO anything to make myself feel better this year. Ive decided I need to find things that I like doing and stuff everybody else who has an opinion about it. Ive also decided that Im gonna exept that its all over red rover with the ex. I can do so damn better than him. But Im not looking for that atm, I want like ashleerose said about the social life. I dont get into nightclubs, I dont see the sense in getting absolutely blotto then feeling like Sh!t the next day to get up to 2 screaming kids at 7 in the morning. I just want to be invited to bbqs and dinners and fun things that my kids can be involved in.
My oldest is starting kinder this year so who knows who I might meet there.
All I can say is today is day one of starting to look after myself and being positive about life.
If I post another negative thread on here can you guys just remind me of the last sentence I wrote!!!:thumbsup:
:hugs: to you all 2007 is our year to get ourselves back into the land of the living.

[OneBabyBoy]

great positive attitude Sarah :yes: I'm glad you're feeling better today and I really hope 2007 is your best year yet!!