Pregnant after miscarriage - support grp

[Tingles]

I thought I'd start a thread for those of us who have suffered a loss in the past. I myself have experienced 5 miscarriages. 4 of them being in between my first two girls. People who have not experienced such a thing cannot really relate to our loss (eg MIL:rolleyes: )

Yes, I know every PG is different, but day to day can be so hard, especially when some of our friends within this forum have experienced losses:crying:

Today I personally feel a little :gloomy: I think after reading all the negative threads...

My two significant losses were 17weeks & 10 weeks - and yes, both times I had seen a live healthy little baby swimming around on my ultrasounds.

I thought maybe we could share our 'roller-coaster' journeys - our highs, and our lows.

For those of you who have lost little ones in the past:hugs: - but there is hope, we just need stong little bubbas - I've always lived by, it just wasn't the right time.

[AngelGirl]

I can't even begin to imagine what it would be like. Just want to say that I'm sending out sticky vibes to all of us due in August. :hugs:

[Kimee]

Hi Tingles this thread is a great idea cos I know there are a lot of us out there who are going through and feeling the same things. It's just not the same when you lose that innocence of thinking a BFP means a baby in 9 months.

I've got my first doctors appointment tomorrow which I can't wait cos my dr is fantastic and supportive but I'm very nervous about having an early ultrasound done.

I'm praying everyday that this lil one is able to stay.

[chicken]

Kimee - I agree. Its just not quite the same when you've had a m/c before - it takes some of the joy away from it. I thought I was OK and then last night I dreamt I was bleeding, so its obviously still in my thoughts. Can't wait until to get some reassurance of a heartbeat next week at 10.5 weeks. And then hopefully I can start enjoying it as I should be.

[Tingles]

I'm so glad you girls decided to reply, I was begining to think maybe I was the only one in 'AUG 2007' to have experienced the :bfp: high...then the low.

It really does play on your mind with subsequent pregnancies. Both on my last pg, & this one I have avoided the early ultrasound - leaving it all the hands of fate.

On one of my angels I had an eary u/s, around 7-8 weeks, only to feel totally different by week 10, and request another u/s to find baby's heart had stopped! Totally sucked...

Wishing us all happy outcomes... this one will probably be our last (#4)...& actually I feel final about that... but I guess you just never know!:laughing:

[chicken]

Tingles - that's exactly why my GP decided not to send me for an early u/s. He said just because you see a heartbeat early on, doesn't mean a couple of weeks later things can't change. An early heartbeat doesn't guarantee success. Its weird not having any confirmation though, although I think knowing from the outset that I wouldn't know anything for sure until 10 weeks has kept me a bit more sane (maybe!:laughing: ). I will be very relieved after my appointment next week, because at this stage its hard for me to believe there's anything growing in there! My symptoms haven't changed, but then I never really had any major symptoms anyway (eg no m/s) so I don't know what's normal!!

[Kimee]

Yeah I know what you mean! It's hard to imagine anything is developing in there!
It'll be good to see any kind of development at my first ultrasound to make it seem more real.

I don't have major symptoms either just sore bbs that's it! I'm not even that tired. Exactly the same as my last prenancy. Oh I had a cry to DH about the stupidist thing last night so I guess thats a sign2!
I'm also only 6wks atm so I dunno if it's its too early for big symptoms.

[shorty_851]

I have experienced a :bfp: and then the low of being told no heart beat only to be told no heart beat again then a Miricale happened and they found the heart beat.

I just want to say to all you girls im sorry for you loses. I know how you feel but don't know how you feel.

[Prudie]

I have had an awful 24 hours. And my eyes are stinging from crying so much. :crying:

I am in my first pregnancy, but found out yesterday at my 10 week scan that there was no heartbeat :gloomy: . Because the baby was the right measurements for my length of pregnancy, my Dr sent me for an internal scan to make sure there was/was no heartbeat - did that today, but it just confirmed that there was no heartbeat. My Dr said the heart must have only stopped beating in the last couple of days :gloomy:

Am going into hospital tomorrow for a d & c. Am a little nervous. DH has been so great - we both had a big cry this afternoon. He has given me space though, which is what I really need at the moment.

My Dr said once I get my next period (in 3 - 6 weeks) we can start TTC again. But it's all a bit too early to think about.

Would be nice to hear from anyone going through the same thing - or has in the past. :ecomcity:

[Tingles]

Oh Prudie you poor dear:hugs: - know exactly where you are - have been there... you would have read my earlier post.

Kimmee said it beautifully 'It's just not the same when you lose that innocence of thinking a BFP means a baby in 9 months'


There are a few of us here who have experienced the low you are in, and I think I would be right in saying we are all anxious about our pregnancies...

Good Luck Prudie - you will get there! I have given birth to two healthy girls since my losses, and now pg on #4.

You are devestated at the moment, but you will get thru it.

x

[Prudie]

Thanks Tingles. It's so great to hear that you have gone on to have healthy babies after your losses - makes me feel more confident about the future. I know that most women do, but at this point I am feeling just so scared that it will happen again.

Just didn't think it would happen to me!!! Oh well, another life experience that i will add to the list and means that down the track I can offer support to others who go through the same thing.

Think it's time for me to go to bed - have a long day ahead of me tomorrow.

Thanks again :yes:

[bec77]

Hey everyone, great thread tingles,
Prudie - just read your post, I too found out on tues that bub had no h/b, I was 11.5 weeks by date but bub measured in at only 7 weeks.
I had to have a curette yesterday, it was ok, nothing to really be scared about physically, it is more the emotional healing that is the killer.
I thought I was doing really well and was being positive but this evening it has all hit me like a ton of bricks and i am changing between wanting to cry all night and wanting to strangle someone!!!
This was my second m/c in 7 months (i have a 2 yr old already).
But I feel the same as you, scared to death to try again but desperate to at the same time.

Can anyone help - I am getting lots of conflicting advice about wether I should just try again or if i should see specialists to see if there is a reason for 2 in a row, I personally think that it was just bad luck but am being told by "hepful" people that if i had seen someone earlier and had progesterine shots then i could have saved the bub, i do not even know if my progesterine levels were an issue or not!!!!
Some fertility doctor told my mum that putting glad wrap on your food when microwaving can cause levels to drop therefore cause m/c, is this a croc or what???
I do not know wether to just go head and try and if a 3rd m/c occurs then start seeing specialists or wether to go to them first and ask their opinion about trying and things i could do to prevent another m/c, anyway i am rambling on, any advice would be appreciated

[Tingles]

Bec - what I was told was you are young - try again (this was by my OB, he should know what he's talking about!)

The fact is - YOU CAN GET PREGNANT -that can be other peoples first problem.

As you would have read I had 4 in a row - you could ask your OB / GP - One of the hospitals here in Melb (maybe the royal womens) has a dept on recurrent miscarriages - I think if you have 3 in a row they may check you for problems.

Also, the stats for m/c is 1 in 3 pregs will miscarry...

I just put it down to, it happend for a reason, that I do not understand - maybe to help others - maybe the time wasn't right for 'everything' - wasn't in THE plan for the moment - wasn't supposed to have an August babe, cause I'm supposed to be travelling to the hospital in Dec 2007 - and I'm supposed to be in the company of December mums & babies - :ecomcity: the reasons could go on... just fate...

If you need to talk anymore we are all here for you - It's early days for you - the next few weeks will be hard, I remember hearing the song ' A little ray of sunshine' and bursting into tears whilst driving the car.

If I hadn't experienced my losses - I wouldn't be here giving you my support... :hugs:

http://www.grieflink.asn.au/miscarriagesupports.html - maybe have a look here too

[4tiggers]

Tingles, your words are so true and inspiring, thankyou.

[bec77]

thanks tingles, i have heard about a recurrent m/c clinic up at the royal in sydney, may give them a call and ask advice.
will also check out that link you sent, any advice is helpful at this time.

[Prudie]

Hi Ladies

Quick update to let you know that I am now at home relaxing after having the d&c today. Went well and I am not feeling too bad - slight cramps and a bit of bleeding, but nothing too serious.

The staff at St George Private were brilliant, and my Ob is really fantastic - will definitely keep her for next time. :yes:

Just so glad it's all over and I can now concentrate on feeling better and hopefully TTC in the next few months.

Thanks for all your advice - it's really comforting hearing from women who have been through the same thing so recently. May we all be back on the When Are You Due thread sooner rather than later. :fingerscrossed:

[bigglet]

Thanks Tingles for starting this thread - and big hugs to all of you.... :hugs: I know what you are going through.

I just had a D&C done yesterday as well and I think it's mainly the emotional side now that needs healing. I don't think some people realise how empty and lost you can feel inside and the reality of not being pregnant anymore.

Everytime I see a pregnant person (and there are lots in a women's hospital!) or when someone announces their pregnancy I feel a little catch in my throat and something inside me just feels well.... sad.

I've had a good cry over the last few days and even writing this is making me teary - just the realisation of it all and the acceptance is hard.

Bec - my doctor says I can try again to get pregnant as soon as the bleeding stops. Although some recommend to at least wait for a period to return to normal cycle she said there was no problems if you want to try again as soon as possible.

All the best everyone and take care of yourselves. :hugs:

[pregomum]

Thankyou for starting this thread and to all of the inspiration that has followed in it.
I m/c at 11wks last sept (2006) and the u/s showed the baby was only 6wks. I think that was the hardest part to get through, the fact i'd been carrying something for the last 5wks that wasn't alive. I felt so cheated.
Until I fell pregnant again I almost detested every preg woman I saw at first until I looked at it as - I should be happpy too I WILL have a healthy baby next time.
The other hard thing was that in two days after finding out I m/c I lost over half of my blood supply, was rushed to hospital unconcious, they had to insert 3 drips to keep my blood pressure up, then I had blood transfusions and emergency d+c.
I was just so scared of dying and leaving DD and DS with no mother.
But chins up we are women and can get through anything and a big hello to all those angels up there who we have lost and will meet in another stage of our lives.
Good luck to all