Controlled Crying?

[Beth]

Hi all,

A friend and I are concerned about controlled crying and the ‘cry it out’ approach to babies’ sleep, and would like to write a book about it. There is a mass of research available now about the importance of responding to babies’ communication (and this includes crying!) for their long-term development, and we would like to make this available to parents.

At the same time we both know (being mothers of wakeful babies) what it is like to attend to a baby for the fourth time during a five hour period in the middle of the night and then to drag yourself through the day through the fog of tiredness, so we want to make the book as relevant as possible to other parents going through this experience.

We are planning to include information on babies’ brain development, emotional development, reasons for wakefulness, why it is unrealistic to expect all babies and young children to get themselves to sleep, normal sleep patterns, and some ideas on alternatives (although this has been covered in depth in Elizabeth Pantley’s ‘The No-Cry Sleep Solution’).

Does this sound like the kind of information you would find useful? What other questions have you grappled with about your baby’s sleep/settling issues which you would like answered?

We would LOVE to hear from you, if you’re interested!

Cheers,
Beth :)

[vonnie100]

Hi Beth,
That sounds like a great idea, I am always looking for books on parenting issues, i.e. sleeping/settling and controlled crying etc. We have had lots of difficulties getting our little one to sleep at night, she is extreamly clingy to me (mum) and would scream for an hour or 3 before settling with an extra feed, we would put her in bed with us just to get some sleep, this idea was lovely untill she decided that the only way she could sleep was if she was lying right ontop of me...not dad...only me, if I dared to put her back between us or back in her cot she would scream. We have gone back to sitting in the livingroom to feed and it seems most of the time she just wants a cuddle and then she goes down for 5 hours without fuss. I did also agree that she might have been clingy to me because she was teething with 3 top teeth at once and it might have annoyed her. She is 9 months old.
Anyway, I have no questions at the moment for your book but GOOD LUCK and let us know how it all goes.
BTW we never did the controlled crying thing. I just couldnt listen to hear crying out to me and feeling like if I went to her I was ruining the plan. so we go to her when she cries. :o
vonnie100

[mamafelix]

Hi Beth

sounds like a great idea!
personally I think a lot of it comes down to having support for new mums in that difficult period when your getting used to having a new creature in the house that won't sleep, is hard to understand etc.. in other words, people to help out and look after the baby, mothers gatherings, classes and groups which are supportive rather than competitive (though I'm sure there are a lot of good ones out there, my immediate experiences have not been good).

and also to our cultures expectations that babies will conform to adult sleeping patterns- I got sick of the number of times people would ask me 'is he a good sleeper?' or 'does he sleep through yet?'.
Some babies do, some babies don't and it's perfectly normal either way. Also, they change so much! A lot of mums I know have felt pressured into CIO/CC because they're given the impression that their child 'should' be sleeping 8-12 hours straight- and if they're not, the mum should be making them do so. It can be really distressing for a mum who has done CC with a young baby to find that they have to do it again once they're 7-9 months old...

Personally I would never do CC/CIO.. it doesn't make sense to me at all.

[Elfin]

Beth hooray someone is looking at this. I don't like control crying at all, personally I think it is awful. Giving Mum's advice on other alternative approaches would be really really useful. Good luck.

[Beth]

Thanks very much for your feedback - you've been most helpful.
Cheers,
Beth :)

[Jolou]

Hi Beth,
As the mother of a baby who does not sleep well I would love a book on the topic you have described. At 5 months I went to a sleep clinic for 1 day to try the controlled crying and after trying it for 2 days found it the most horrific experience yet as a mother. I would love some information on alternatives.
I would suggest that some information on reflux babies and sleep could be very beneficial as most reading I have done so far says not to try sleeping techniques unless your baby is completely well! (does this mean not to try with reflux babies???). The only suggestions are to prop the cot upa t one end but my main trouble is actually getting her to sleep.
look forward to hearing more about your ideas for the book.
Jo
mum to Caitlyn (6 months)
:)

[veronica]

I think your idea is a great! I have heard some horrifc stories about sleep clinics where the general idea seems to be institutional style cot with no comfort etc. The mother I knew (and her baby) were that upset by the whole experience it took ages for them to get back to being happy - certainly didn't help her with PND either! There is definately still too much emphasis on feeding to a time limit and sleeping through and although I can't complain as my baby sleeps very well for the last couple of months, the pressure is enormous and can leave mothers feeling bad either way.

I say do what you feel is right in your approach to feeding and sleep and if letting your baby scream his/her lungs out doesn't feel right then don't do it. They are too precious and have spent too long being a part of us to suddenly be like an adult! I think a huge part of the problem is a lack of support and understanding that all babies are different. A little bit of 'spoiling' now will surely just make them more confident later.

[H&B'sMum]

I think your book is a great idea. Having that support written down so you can refer it in the middle of the night or the next morning would provide a lot of comfort to alot of mums. Good luck with it. My only advice would be to make the format easy to read, and find topics so if needed in the middle of the night it's easy.

To Rach.anne, I have no idea why you feel the need to abuse people for doing something that they believe is right for their child. Telling someone that they are abusing their child is not on. We are here to support each other and give advice not tell someone that they are abusing their child. You have no idea how a desperate, sleep deprived, or even PNDed mum may take your post, it would be the last thing she needs to hear from a forum that is suppose to provide a "safe", non-judgmental environment. Having someone to stop them in there tracks is a little harsh don't you think?????? For some mums CC is THE LAST resort. They may not be able to cope with the sleeplessness and they have tired everything else and CC may just be the last thing they turn to, to help their child, not abuse it. Next time please think about your post and how others may read it and react to it.

Good luck Beth with your research and writing your book.

[jessica]

Hi Beth,

I think a book on babies sleep is a great idea - it's definetly the most talked about topic in our mothers group! As a CC mum though I'd love to see a balanced book that is open to all sleep solutions - we need to consider that some mums (like me) reach a desperation point after trying all else where CC is the only option - support is crucial! One book that covers all possibilites would have saved me reading 10 different books (thank goodness for free libraries!)... A balanced look at the pro's and con's of different sleep solutions would be a godsend to new, tired and anxious mums!

By the way thanks to Harry'smum for saying what many of us were thinking!! Lets remember to think about your post and how others may read it and react to it.

Good luck with the book!

[Mother Duck]

Hello Beth - and all

I bet you didn't expect a can of worms!

I just wanted to make a brief comment - I am a CC mummy - but I am also a very open minded and alternative mummy.

Rach, your comment did read fairly heavy (I think it is the word Abuse!) - if you have a squiz at the CC forum you will see that these mums dearly love their bubbies and intend not a sceric of abuse.

Others - we are all welcome to our opinions, even what Rach has said should be welcome. There is always the right to reply.

I think we need to remember that we all love our bubs - Otherwise we would not be spending our valuable non-sleep time on this forum.

Warmest regards to all
Jessie

[Baby Girl]

I have been blessed with a fairly good sleeper and have not had to try CC.

I feel for all the mums who have bubs who don't sleep well. I would never judge someone for trying CC to get their bubs to sleep. If we were to start talking about abuse, I would not rate CC as a form of abuse.

I am sure a lot of other mums are with me when I say that I would rather try CC than become the next mother on the news who has harmed her little one due to lack of sleep and consequently a shorter than normal fuse.

Remember, sleep deprivation is used as a form of torture in some countries.

Not everything is for everyone but I think it unfair to judge what approach others take if we are not in the same situation.

Sorry to rave on but I just wanted to say Good Luck to all the tired mums - here's to finally getting a good rest!!

A happy mum = a happy bub.

[StormAngel]

Hi

I think we all want the best for our bubs and we deserve the right to choice the way we want to deal with sleep problems and not be judged!

I personally have read every stupid book and tried every different theroy to get my bub to sleep, so now i'm going to try CC, so please don't judge me for trying anything i can to try and get my baby some decent sleep!

Good luck to those who don't want to do or try CC but that is your choice!

[Mother Duck]

Hello Jo

A mum to four! You are already a winner in my eyes!

Good luck with the CC.

Warmest regards
Jessie

[Jemah]

Hello Beth,

I think a book on CC Crying is desperatly needed!!
After reaching a desperate sleep deprived state after 10 month of my son waking 2-3 time every night. A friend of mine come & told me to put him in his cot and use the CC Crying technique. I was very upset as my son was a bit of a shock to the system after 10 months of cuddling and soothing, but he had no tears and was just screaming not really crying. If he had tears I don’t think I could have followed through with it.

It has been two days now and my son seems happier in his waking hours, giggling, smiling and laughing, though I’m not sure if it's because I am happier and more inclined to play and do things with him as I am not so stressed with the list of things to do getting longer.

I am now researching the CC technique to be sure that I am 100% happy to proceed with it, as its not for the faint hearted.

I thing my main concern is the stress he experience when being left having detrimental affects such as withdrawal and anxiety in the years to come.

After 2 hours on the net your site has been the most informative but I was surprised to read on another site that no studies have been done on the stress level CC may have on children at the time or in the future. This leaves me with many question on whether to proceed with this method and I would apreciate anyones experience and information on the subject. With so many people now using this technique I think it’s about time someone did a study on the affects on children at least up untill school age.

With Love
Jemah

[JanetF]

It's absolutely true that there is no research into CC and it's longterm effects but we know what the effects of other similar forms of neglect are when we leave children to cry without responding to their needs, and it's not pretty. What we really need is to understand how babies and children sleep and then work with that as best we can. Sleep trainers are making money lying to concerned parents about sleep and breastfeeding and causing untold damage to babies and their health and relationships with their families. If adults were being treated the way CC/CIO babies are there would be an outcry. But someone like Tizzie Hall actually preaches that a baby who vomits/poos from the trauma of being left to cry is just being manipulative. She also tells parents stuff about breastmilk and breastfeeding that has no scientific backing at all. Her stuff is just like the Ezzos and they have a website devoted to refuting them and their dangerous assertions which are causing dehydration and malnutrition in babies. If more mamas were supported to breastfeed, there'd be a lot less issues with babies sleeping because breastmilk is designed to make babies sleepy. And if we coslept, we'd never need to get out of bed to a crying child because the child's need for comfort, security and the breast would be instantly met. And what the studies on cosleeping show is how much more sleep mamas who cosleep are getting, even if they feed more often in the night.



Try these for more info.

This is from a website about Reactive Attachment Disorder which is about the worst possible outcome from CC but many levels of it are possible. This is a website for adoptive families who are reparenting and providing emotional stability for children who've been left to cry in institutions.

So how do babies expect to be cared for?

Babies are born expecting to be cared for by their biological mother. They recognise her through smell (her amniotic fluid smells much the same as her breastmilk), through voice (from before birth) and sight. Babies give a specific “separation distress call” when they are separated from their mother. Thus babies know their mother from birth and recognise her loss.

There is strong evidence that babies expect to be kept in close physical contact with their mother, suckling frequently to obtain food and sleeping with her.

How do we know this? Babies who are carried more, cry less. There’s good reason to believe that the threshold for acceptable levels of crying in babies is set too high in Western societies - and that’s because we’re not used to carrying our babies and we get used to a lot of crying. Certainly, crying is known to have potentially serious negative affects on the newborn brain. Carrying a baby and moving around with them also provides proprioceptive-vestibular stimulation – that’s stimulation of the movement & balance centres in our muscles, our inner ear & our brain - which fosters an environment that facilitates interaction between caregiver and child and results in increased maternal responsiveness and increased security of attachment.

Skin to skin contact reduces the release of stress hormones in babies, reduces blood pressure and stabilises blood glucose levels. When babies are held in skin-to-skin contact with their mothers, their temperature, their breathing rate & their heart rate are regulated and stabilised.

There is also strong scientific evidence that human babies are meant to suckle frequently. What tells us this? The composition of human milk is extremely low in fat and protein. Other mammals whose milk is low in fat & protein concentrations carry their babies, which suckle constantly, whereas those whose milk is high in those factors suckle infrequently – they tend to be animals such as deer, that leave their babies alone for long periods of time while mothers go out to graze.

Breastfeeding, as well as providing food for babies, results in calming, it reduces heart and metabolic rates and pain relief through the physical and social contact, and it also causes opiates to be released in the brain.

Finally, there is some evidence that cosleeping is expected. Keeping babies in close physical contact at night not only results in more frequent breastfeeding but also results in synchrony of sleep cycles and protects the infant against long periods of deep sleep that may contribute to SIDS.

Thus, mothers act as external regulators of their child’s physiology and emotions. The mother is the infant’s habitat!





Unsubstantiated Medical Statements in “Babywise”
http://www.ezzo.info/Aney/unsub.htm

Babywise advice linked to dehydration, failure to thrive
by Matthew Aney, M.D.
http://www.ezzo.info/Aney/aneyaap.htm

Controlled comforting…
http://breastfeeding.asn.au/bfinfo/crying.html

Why not to CIO
http://www.mothering.com/sections/experts/hunt-archive.html#cry-it-out


Australian Association for Infant Mental Health Inc.
Affiliated with the World Association for Infant Mental Health
www.aaimhi.org
Position Paper 1: Controlled Crying
Issued November 2002; Revised March 2004
AAIMHI - Controlled Crying Principles
It is normal and healthy for infants and young
children not to sleep through the night and to need
attention from parents. This should not be labeled a
disorder except where it is clearly outside the usual
patterns.
Parents should be reassured that attending to their
infant’s needs/crying will not cause a lasting “habit”.
Waking in older infants and young children may be
due to separation anxiety, and in these cases
sleeping with or next to a parent is a valid option.
This often enables all to get a good night’s sleep.
Any methods used to assist parents to get a good
night’s sleep should not compromise the infant’s
developmental and emotional needs.

Crying for comfort:distressed babies need to be held.
http://www.awareparenting.com/comfort.htm



Gentle sleep resources.
http://askdrsears.com/html/7/T070100.asp
8 Infant Sleep Facts Every Parent Should Know
31 Ways to Get Your Baby to Sleep and Stay Asleep
Bedwetting
Hidden Medical Causes of Nightwaking
Sleep Trainers: Buyer Beware!
Night Weaning: 12 Alternatives for the All-Night Nurser
Night Terrors
5 Reasons Why High-Need Infants Sleep Differently
Sleep Safety
SIDS: The Latest Research on How Sleeping With Your Baby is Safe.
Co-Sleeping: Yes, No, Sometimes?
FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS ABOUT SLEEP PROBLEMS
"Questions of the Day" about sleep


http://www.naturalchild.com/articles/sleeping.html
An Oversight of Our Culture
Tine Thevenin
Babies Need Their Mothers Beside Them
James J. McKenna
Bedsharing Promotes Breastfeeding
James J. McKenna
Bedtime Story: Co-sleeping Research
James J. McKenna
Newest: Cosleeping
Tami E. Breazeale
Statement on sleeping locations and sudden death in infants
(Research Document)
Hidden Messages
Jan Hunt
Is It Time to Abolish Cribs?
Jan Hunt
Is sleeping with my baby safe? Can it reduce the risk of SIDS?
James J. McKenna
It's None of Their Business
Peggy O'Mara
Need vs. Habit
Tine Thevenin
A Rediscovery
Tine Thevenin
Rethinking "Healthy" Infant Sleep
James J. McKenna
Ten Reasons to Sleep Next to Your Child at Night
Jan Hunt
When Will My Baby Soothe Himself to Sleep?
Jan Hunt






Pillowtalk – helping your child get a good night’s sleep.
http://www.mothering.com/articles/new_baby/sleep/fleiss.html

Selfsoothing
http://www.mothering.com/sections/experts/hunt-archive.html#self-soothing

Cosleeping
http://www.mothering.com/sections/experts/buckley-archive.html#co-sleep

No Cry Sleep Solution
http://www.pantley.com/elizabeth/

15 ways to help your baby sleep
http://www.pinky-mychild.com/features/baby/sleep.html

Four month old wakes up frequently in the night.
http://www.awareparenting.com/answer13.htm

Crying spells in 6 week old infant
http://www.awareparenting.com/answer19.htm

Bedtime problems with 3 year old.
http://www.awareparenting.com/answer22.htm

5 year old wants to sleep with parents.
http://www.awareparenting.com/answer18.htm

.

Suggestions for alternatives to controlled crying
Fleiss PM, Hodges FM & Phil D (2000). Sweet Dreams: A
Pediatrician’s Secrets for Your Child’s Good Night’s Sleep. Los
Angeles: Lowell House.
Hope M (1996). For Crying Out Loud! Understanding and Helping
Crying Babies. Randwick NSW: Sydney Children’s Hospital.
McKay P (2002). 100 Ways to Calm the Crying. Melbourne: Lothian.
McKay P (2002). Parenting by Heart. Melbourne: Lothian.
Pantley E (2002). The No-Cry Sleep Solution. NewYork: Contemporary
Books.
Sears W & Sears M (2003). The Baby Book: Everything you need

[Jemah]

HI ALL,

Thanks Janet for passing on all your research for me to explore, I have heard about "The Baby Whisper’s"" By Tracy Hogg.
Sound like CC but each time you go into the room you hug your little one until they settle and then try try again. Also I think you go in every minute or two.

Has anyone read this book or know anything more about this method, I think that going into the room every few minutes and hugging them to settle sits better with me then just lying them down, patting them and ignoring them.
After many discussion and research on CC crying in the last 48 hours I am still in two minds, I can see how it works but only if done properly and done when baby is ready to sleep though not overstimulated or over tired.

I do like the thought of doing the bedtime routine and then having lots of big hugs and tucking him into bed, and he just rolls over and goes to sleep, but I am optimistic that this can be achieved with minimal if any tears it just may take a little longer, I can see though that it does require routine, consistency and a clear picture of what you are doing, as well as believing in what your doing and that it is right for you and your family.

A mid day nap has me in better spirits, MUMS need rest too!!

Lots of Love and luck
Jemah

[Ana Gram]

I think one of the most difficult things as a new parent is everyone is telling you a million different things that they swear will work for your child which often condadict each other.
What is better is that information and advice is giving as a guide as a possibility that it might work for your child. Every child is different, what works for you may not work for me.

Controlled crying has not worked for us and believe me we tried! Our daughter can scream for hours with no break, getting louder and louder. Most parents will tell you that this can be the worst sound in the world, especially when you are exhausted.
The same with attached parenting, it may work for some but don't get fooled into thinking it is definately going to work for you. Our daughter was extremely independant from the word go, has had a big personal space and has always pushed everyone away.

More information on any childrearing subject would be welcomed if it isn't preachy as that can make you feel like a failure if it doesn't work. And none of us on this forum are failures.

[sasholi]

I think it's an absolutely fantastic idea. A book that talks about the facts of CC and different "settling" techniques would be wonderful - not a book that "preached" a certain technique. I wish I knew when my bub was born that there is virtually nothing you can do in relation to sleeping through - some babies do it earlier than others. And I wish I knew that that is OK. Some books actually make you feel like you are morally damaging your child if you don't follow their strict routine etc.

It can be very very difficult for a mum with PND to think that the reason her baby is not sleeping as the book says is because she somehow "made a mistake" a didn't follow the book correctly. Trust me!!

However, my family live two states away and my friends work during the day, as does my husband. Out of sheer frustration I have had to leave my crying baby "safely" in his cot and take a walk for 3 or 4 minutes around the house to try and calm down - particularly in the first three months. I did this perhaps 6 times since he was born. Yes, I left my tiny, helpless baby to cry; my baby whom I love more than my own life. But at that moment I felt I had no choice. I felt I was failing because he was crying. I wish there were a book that told me it's OK for bubs to cry - it's normal. And it will end. I feel immense guilt at leaving him to cry that I can't describe (and my constant browsing and reading of attachment parenting websites makes me feel so so guilty, even though I believe everything in them!)

Attachment parenting is absolutely a beautifully utopian ideal. I try to stick to it's ideals, but especially in the beginning i had such difficulty bonding with my son, I just couldn't co-sleep (I needed space) and now that I would LOVE to co-sleep my bubs doesn't want to! He thinks it's play time, and when he's tired he's cries until I put him in his cot, where he promptly rolls over and falls asleep.

He is an incredibly happy, outgoing amazing child. He loves his cuddles, and he loves his independent play time. He's not a fan of the pram, so we pretty much still wear him (which I have done most of his life anyway).

I think my point is this: the idea of your book is awesome. There needs to be information out there that mothers can get a good hold of, that isn't preaching a certain routine or plan. Something that supports a mum's own intuition instead of undermining and usurping it.

But mostly, what mum's need to know is that sometimes it's OK to feel down, and some days your baby WILL cry, pretty much all day, and you won't know why. And that's OK. And then some days your baby will sleep easily, then some days your baby won't. And most definitely, mum's need to know that it's OK to rock and cuddle and nurse your bubs to sleep and it won't negatively impact on your bubs sleep (like the books say!!!).

OK. sorry about my essay - I just go on and on and on!!!

[sasholi]

Oh, and I forgot to say that I did use a *very* modified version of CC about 4 weeks ago.

My bubs had a dummy and was waking up to 12 times per night. He was miserable during the day, and he didn't want to cuddle at all. He would even squirm in the hug a bub, which he LOVES. Even the jolly jumper was a no go. There was nothing we could do. He would go to sleep easily with the dummy, but he was starting to only sleep for 20 mins at a time.

I used a mod version. Going in and out in 2 minute intervals starting at 2 and ending at 10. At 10, the idea is to get them up, drink of water etc, walk outside. And totally calm them down.

I did this because I tried to get rid of the dummy, but bubs wouldn't settle in my arms. I tried rocking him for 3 hours. Cuddling and cooing and rocking and walking. For three hours. I did't want to leave him upset. But he kept arching, and fighting me (independent child!). So I researched this method. And I decided I would do it. I had tried EVERYTHING else. Co-sleeping (he's not interested), rocking, walking, cuddling, patting. everything. This went on for well over a week. I was exhausted. Relationship with hubby was not improving and my PND was not getting better either!

SO we tried this method. My gorgeous, incredible child with a mind totally his own cried far less while in his cot and me patting him on the bum than in my arms. His cries did not escalate when we left the room. If they did I would have gone right in there. If he was distressed he needed to know I was there. But I know my baby and he didn't seem distressed. It worked. Within two days he was sleeping better, but most importantly, he was HAPPIER. Actually happier. He laughed more (the big belly laughs), and I had more energy to play with him and spend real quality time with him. And hubby and I have improved too...

CC, like any method, can go too far. Under these circumstances, I felt totally comfortable with it. And, like any method, it is NOT for all babies. These "blanket approaches" to child-rearing undermine a mother's ability to read her child and to know what is best for her and for her child.

There needs to be a book that has a serious look at the damaging effects of CC because I believe if the child seems distressed then CC CAN cause damage (as research suggests). However, is it also just as damaging for a child to have a severely sleep deprived mum (and dad!) who feels more and more disconnected from her child during her child's wake time? I believe that is a valid question that also needs addressing...

Anyway, I don't want to appear to be a hypocrite. In theory, I am not all for CC. I think it totally needs to be negotiated with bubs too...

Happy parenting all!

[Sonja]

I think this sounds like a great idea, but would be really interested in reading something that dealt wiith both settling and sleeping issues. I have read the "No Cry Sleep Solution" and while I think a lot of the ideas are terrific, it, like to many other books, assumes that babies will go to sleep when they are tired. Some babies just won't and need help to get to sleep and then to stay asleep. So many books deal with one and not the other. I recommend "the happiest baby on the block" as it addresses both issues.

I agree with the other mums who say that the book should address the issue that sometimes nothing we do works and not blame women for the sleep issues that there babies are having.

I would also recommend that you release a dvd which accompanies the book - it is extremely helpful to actually see the techniques being applied on actual babies rather than simply read about the methods.

[AM]

I would love to see a book out on the dangers and drawbacks of cc, there is a lot of research around as you say, but I've not seen it drawn together in a book.
I think cc is just so mainstreamed, that many people do not even know that there are other legitimate ways of dealing with waking babies without losing your sanity.
I guess i just happened to fall on my feet, and co-slept from day one, and with a 19 month old who still night nurses, it is just such a life saver.

Sounds like a wonderful project! :D

[mumhoney]

Hey, if there is a better way to settle my daughter i am all for it! She is nearly 11mths old and had a near perfect track record for settling and sleep, until about a week ago and now it is like WWI everytime she goes to bed. The controlled crying seems to be working, but it absolutely breaks my heart to hear her crying :(
Please find a miracle cure. We could certainly use one.
Lou

[nannyogg]

I found this thread on Google, thought "It's from October - wonder whether I'm too late to post?" and then realised it actually started in _January_! Since other people have posted as late as October, I might as well add my 2c.

I wanted to post because Janet's post struck me as so typical of the kind of hyperbole around the topic of CC. There is _no_ evidence that I have ever heard of or seen cited (and I have read a LOT about this topic) that CC in itself can lead on to Reactive Attachment Disorder, and claiming that data on children brought up in institutions is relevant is flat-out ridiculous. Which institutions did this data come from? There are, sadly, plenty of institutions where children are left crying for hours on end on a regular basis from their birth and never really get the kind of one-on-one affection that children need, and of course such children can develop attachment problems. But that isn't remotely the same as a baby who's being brought up with love and affection being left on his own for short periods of time while crying. Comparing the two is no more valid than pointing to pictures of starving malnourished children and giving that as a reason why you shouldn't deny your child a biscuit. I hate the thought that a woman who'd tried CC might be left feeling guilty after reading that, and felt I really had to point out how over-the-top it was.

I've got more to write on this topic, but it will have to wait - need to get back to work now.

[nannyogg]

Right - back again! Some thoughts on CC:

I only know of two studies that have been done specifically on CIO methods, and both of those were short-term only. However, apparently both of them showed that the children studied became _less_ anxious/insecure after CC, which is interesting, as it's the reverse of what's normally claimed. (I've only read the abstracts, not the full articles. Abstracts are at <http://tinyurl.com/be2c2> and <http://tinyurl.com/98vbe>.

Weissbluth, the author of 'Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child', who is very pro-CIO, says in his book that the New York Longitudinal Study found no evidence of long-term detrimental effects from CIO-type methods. However, I haven't read this study myself and the abstract doesn't mention any form of CIO/CC specifically (it was a general study looking at long-term behavioural development in a group of babies followed through to adulthood), so I don't know to what extent CC was actually assessed. (Abstract is at <http://tinyurl.com/d3faw> if you're interested, but, as I've said, isn't very helpful. I'm hoping to be able to get hold of the full study at some point.)

So, am I pro-CC? No - I'm pro-families doing what works for them. I've heard lots of stories about cases where CC helped exhausted families get sleep they desperately needed (including the baby). I've heard plenty of stories that left me with no doubt in my mind that some form of CIO was the only answer for that particular family. I've also heard stories of families for whom it wasn't the right answer and just made things worse. My beef is not with people who use CC or people who use co-sleeping or people who use whatever other method they feel works for their family as a whole. It's with people who claim that there's only one way to bring up children and doing things any other way is likely to cause unspecified but terrible long-term damage. Rubbish. Children are individuals just as much as adults are, and there simply is no such thing as one method that's right for every child and every family. The best thing is for parents to find out what works for their family and to go with that, and not beat themselves up if they think they haven't done it perfectly. So, if you're a parent who tried CC and you think it worked well for _your_ child and _your_ family, then, regardless of what other people try to tell you, I bet it did.


All the best,

Sarah

[draught]

So, am I pro-CC? No - I'm pro-families doing what works for them.



Sarah
Welcome to bubhub! Thank you for a great, well balanced post. I like your approach! Stick around and share your knowledge - we need more balance on here to make sure that parents aren't made to feel guilty for doing what is best for them and their families in the circumstances!

[red crayon]

thanks from me too, sarah. you're absolutely right - all families and all babies are different. what would be good is a book that explores all forms of sleeping techniques in a non-biased or judgmental way and in a way that gives families options to consider and try.

[kimmy]

That sound great to me spencer'smum

[whatwasithinking]

I used CC for both DDs.

Way I figure is whatever works for you and your babies do.

As long as my babies were safe CC worked for me.

[sasholi]

Thank you so much NannyOgg.

Everytime my DS has an "off" day (or an off week as has been the case for the past week!) I beat myself inside saying "maybe it is because I used CC", "It's all my fault he's crying". it is good to hear someone provide more than anecdotal support for those who use CC.

It is always a last resort for most people!

[nannyogg]

Thank you for your lovely welcome, everybody!

I'm afraid there is no way at all that I can stick around to become a regular poster. I am on more groups than I have time for as it is, so even though this seems like a really nice one, I'm going to have to leave it (though I will follow this thread). I only joined to give my opinion on this topic because, as I've said, I thought that what Janet had said was over-the-top and needed challenging.