View Full Version : Support Team
Just finished watching a repeat of the new From Here to Maternity show of "W". I was wondering if anyone has had large support teams vs just you and your partner?
I am personally having my mum, my hubby and one of my best friends (potentially another also) in a Birth Centre. First time round it was DH, Mum and MIL. I have decided i want my friend she is older and has given birth on her own twice plus is a huge support.
I have had a few weird responses to my "the more the merrier " attitude but in my eyes there are so many strangers involved (midwives etc) that i would prefer to have my loved ones there. Plus i love my hubby more than anything but at the first birth he was totally overwhelmed and pretty blo0dy annoying!
So what have your support teams been like; big or small?
not me with my 1st i have my mum and my boyfriend (father of 1st baby ) and my 2nd time was just me and mum.
1st time I had my partner and my mum. 2nd time I had my DH, mum, best friend, MIl (not by choice invited herself along), and my sis was coming in and out. This time round I had my DH, mum & best friend.
Em& callums mum did you think there were too many people involved in number 2? Was it relaxing for you ? Well, as relaxing as labour could be?
For Cobes it was just Chris and I... I think next time I'll ask my SIL to take photos LOL I kinda resent myself as right after he was born I squawked at Chris to grab the camera. He said he didn't mind and didn't think anything off it but sometimes I feel like I should've been more tender.
I have some pics of the labour they aint too pretty so no labour pics this time, the first picture they took of maikyra is absolutely beautiful and still one of my faves...
i'm having my partner and my mum.
My mum is definately in without fail she is amazing.;; the best ever head patter!
my dp was here with me in both of my labours
I had my DH, my beautiful Mum and my MIL..they were all fantastic and they did most of the supporting..the midwife only came in every now and then...I had a five and a half hour labour and only used gas, and I think that having so much support with me helped so much....I spent alot of the time in the tub...my hubby was holding the gas thing, my Mum was stroking my hed with a washer and my MIL was feeding me jelly beans....
I think having people there that you love and trust is important......my MIL took some great photos too......
also, it gives your partner a break to have something to eat etc...
good luck, you will love it
Both times it was just DH and I. I'm close to my mum and mil, but I cringe at the thought of them seeing me labouring and giving birth. I hate being petted and treated like a 'victim', and I know that they would struggle to see me in pain and would be very annoying!
And I also can't bear the thought of them seeing me poo, which has to be considered seeing as that's a common event when birthing :o :laughing:
Dh was wonderful. He was my voice when I needed him to be, he comforted me and strengthend me, and I love that our birthing experience was so intimate and personal. We were lucky that with DD we had the same midwife all the way through, and she was lovely.:yes:
I had my husband, mum and sister at both my births. I needed them all. I too didnt want to be fussed over and they were all fantastic. In between contractions we talked about holidays / people ang going out. It was exactly like being at home around the dinner table except that i was naked and having a baby. I have also been to two friends births this year as a support person and photographer.
With such good support the midwife only needed to come to do the obs and help birth the baby.
I think it is a huge responsibility to expect the guys to know exactly wht they need to do particularly if you plan to labour without pain relief.
I have had my DH and midwives (2)...one birth we had a friend pottering around, he hid though...this next birth we are considering a friend who has had homebirths to watch our children during the birth or possibly film the birth as it maybe our last and we haven't actually manged to get reasonable footage through all our other births
Thanks ladies; i am would love an intimate birth with my DH but in the first one he just wasnt coping; dont want that again!
I asked my friend who has had two natural births at christmas and she cried; she was so excited!
So now my team is Mum, Jules, Friend Number 1 and Friend Number 2. I think thats perfect.... I feel comforted knowing that they will be there for me and Jules. I had my mum take jules to the pub last time to give me some piece (after the epi, of course, !!)
i had dh and my mum n dh was hands off so i definately made the right choice:thumbsup:
My labour ended in a c-section but the few hrs I did have and if I had progressed for a vaginal birth it would of just been myself and my mum. Thats it. If it had been long I may have called 1 or 2 but I highly doubt it. Im not that confident with people.
i had my sister and df there for my last bub
My df was so scared to be there. but was fantastic!!
he stayed up the top holding my hand etc..
while my sister was down at the business end of things. encouraging me etc..i was happy with my support team.
After all the excitment of first telling my mum had died down a little, one of the first things she said to me was "please don't ask me to be there" and to be honest I had never even thought of asking her! I know she wouldn't cope with seeing me in pain and I just needed to focus on bub and myself and not need to worry about my mum!
I wanted to ask a girlfriend but DF said no. He just wanted it to be us and I respected that :yes: it was his big day too! He was pretty great actually, he only left me twice during the 15 hrs and that was to have a wee! He even helped me to the toilet each time I needed to go because once on the toilet I couldn't get back up without help! Next time though will be a homebirth :smiliedance: I'm so excited and I'm not even pregnant!
Bec, you may need to check your hospital/birthing centers policy. My hospital had a 2 support persons only policy :thumbsdown:
Just hubby and I.
Would have had my sister there but she had just had a baby 2 weeks before...so she had her hands full.
We made a few people upset...cause I didnt want anyone to know that I was labouring...I hate pressure...dad still hasnt gotten over it...
oh well :cool:
Just DH and I - we didn't want anyone else there. It was a lovely special time between the two of us - we have shared everything together for the last 18yrs so it was a natural extension of that.
At my first birth i had my mum, partner and partners mum (shes a nurse so was really interested) and my sister.. with my second just me and my partner. With the first the extra people were good cos i was induced and at the hospital from 8am and she was born at 2am! So my partner got to have a rest.. With the second i wasn't induced and got to the hospital at 4 and he was born at 5:44, so no need for backup and we liked it just the two of us.. we're not planning on having any more kids and wanted the second time to be more intimate.. Both were good in their own way but my partner got fed up with everyone butting in the first time.
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