It still hurts so much.

[Lunar]

Even though I have 2 beautful girls, the pain of my 2 m/c's is still there.

In 2004, I had a m/c right before Christmas.

I got my BFP 2.5 weeks before christmas, and was 1 week late for AF.
So would have been 5 weeks, but by the time I had a chance to go to the Dr's it was the week of christmas and the blood tests came back very low HCG levels so my baby had died. It then took me another week to start bleeding, that was 2 days after Christmas when it started and it was so so heavy.

I then fell pg the very next month but then lost that bub at 5.5 wks but did not find out that the baby had died until 10 wks or so.
I then had to have a D&C.

It was 4 months later I fell pg with Kailah.

I know I should be thankful and happy that I have her now, but the feelings of loss are still there. They were there right through the pregnancy with Kailah, when I approached my angels' due dates and the loss dates etc, it still hurt as bad as the day we lost them.

I know it doesn't ever go away, it just gets easier, but I am really feeling it this time of year.

Just had to get that out I guess.
thanks for listening.

[jess_live_die]

aww hunni :hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs:

[Shanaynay]

:hugs: for you.

I miscarried a pregnancy in May 2003 and would have been due at Christmastime so this time of the year is sad for me too. I should be celebrating a birthday this time of year. I should have a 3 year old running around my feet!

I have had 2 DD's since, but it doesn't ever really go away does it? :hugs:

[Jinglebells]

:hugs: :hugs: :hugs: Lunar, this time of year is hard for all, I lost my first boy on the 29th of dec 2002, its comming up to his 4 year anniversary, and also this jan will be the due date of my third boy that we lost in Sept, I oten think of my boys, think about the what if's and what they would be like if they were still here with us, I am truly greatfull to have my second son still here with us, he's the one that keeps me going, I don't know what i would be like if I hadn't have had him,

my thoughts are with you Lunar, you have 2 beautifull girls there, and they have 2 lovely angels watching over them, keeping them safe

[Percy]

Lots of hugs for you:hugs: :hugs: :hugs:

I can relate to how you are feeling. I lost DS at 15 weeks in 2004, and it still hurts badly.

We had his memorial last night too. We have one every year on Dec 21st as its St Thomas's day in the church... so this time of year is always bittersweet for me as well.

Make sure you take care of yourself. Im sure all our angels are playing up there together.

I will send you something that might help in a pm.

Thinking of you:hugs:

[Lunar]

Thanks for all your kind words, I"m feeling a bit better today.
I am just trying to be in the highest possible spirits for my girls. This Christmas is going to be magical... Kailah's first.

Thank you all, and Merry Christmas.:xmas: :hugs: :tree:

[♥Heaven Sent♥]

Aww hun its is so hard i can just imagine what you are going through i m/c on wednesday,i never thought it would be so hard,but it is.I just want to give you a big hug,hope you are feeling a bit happier today,just take one day at a time and enjoy your girls 1st chrissy.

[ziggie]

:hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs:

Glad your feeling better today... keep up the good spirits hun x0x0x0x

[catalicious]

Honey!!!:hugs: :kiss:

Call me when ever you want to talk, you have been her for me through everything good and bad the last couple of years!!!

Im sorry you have been feeling so sad!!!

I hope tomorrow is all about having a great day with the family you have with you now, remember little things that have happened but try to take the good from them!!!!

I love you lots and Lots!!

merry Christmas!!!

[Hokey Pokey]

I understand. I will never forget leaving the hospital empty handed :crying:
Merry Christmas to our angels :angel:

[Kizmet]

:hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs:

[reAllytee]

Oh gorgeous girl :hugs: :hugs: :hugs:

I havent any great words of wisdom but you know im here if you need me.

[kiah]

i am so grateful for my children...

To anyone who has lost a child...bless your little angels wherever tey are flying:hugs: :angel: :angel: :angel:

[natasha]

I cant say I know what you are feeling, but i just wanted to give you a few of these hun....:hugs: :hugs: :hugs:

[RoarsomeMum]

:hugs: :hugs: :hugs: 's to you.
Beautiful lives you hold in your hand,
will never replace the angels that land.

Your girls know you love them, and your angels do too. I really belive that Lunar.:hugs:

[Lunar]

Thank you all so very much.
It does get easier, it's just around those times of the m/c's and due dates etc that are hard.

It will be 2 years next month since my last m/c. The one I had to have a d&c for. It was so horrible going under while I was screaming because Glen wasn't allowed in, they had to hold me down, 5 of them!
Then waking up an knowing I was empty, no baby, nothing. Was heartbreaking, still feels like only yesterday.

:crying: :crying: :crying:

[natasha]

Aw Lunar! I cant even begin to imagine. Im sat here in tears for you.:crying:

Its such an awful thing to go through. I dont know what to say other than you are a very special woman, with 2 fantastic gifts from God, and he's looking after all his angels in heaven, theyl always be looking down on you, never feel alone.:hugs: :hugs:

[Lunar]

Aw Lunar! I cant even begin to imagine. Im sat here in tears for you.:crying:

Its such an awful thing to go through. I dont know what to say other than you are a very special woman, with 2 fantastic gifts from God, and he's looking after all his angels in heaven, theyl always be looking down on you, never feel alone.:hugs: :hugs:

hugs to you gorgous girl!

I love you, you know that right??:hugs:

[Tubbychook]

:hugs: Lunar, I dont know if you remember me or not i was on the march 06 pregnacny thread. I understand how you were feeling when you started this tread i have been going through simalar feelings. I know that i have my little man now but i still feel the pain from missing my two lost babies. I think that i am feeling it a little more at the moment as i am due to start on the whole ttc journy again on the 19th of this month. I am worried how i am going to handle it if it happens again. I am sure that things will work out and hopefully i wont have to worry about it at all.

hugs to you

Shannon

[Blessed Mum]

:hugs: for you x 1000

[JuniorMinime]

I know exactly what you mean. I'm still having good days and bad days. I really took Angels passing really hard and still trying to cope. I have so many different emotions running through me too.

It makes it even harder when your friends are falling pregnant and everyone is happy for them!!!! My best friend (whom I have known for 22yrs) is a born again christian and she wasn't all that happy for us because we weren't married but yet she wants me to be happy for her cause she is!!!!!!!!

Anyway big :hugs: to you and hope that you feel better soon. If you want to pm me feel free.