View Full Version : BIL is mean to animals
I'll be spending Christmas with my in-laws for the first time this year (I could write a whole lot about that, but I'll save it for the family section!!).
My problem is, we're taking our 4 month old puppy - Lucius - and BIL is so nasty to animals. I've had problems with him before when he's come to stay, he used to push our last dog around a lot (on the head especially... It was at just the right height, he was a great dane too..:no: ). He can even be rough and mean to cats even though he thinks he's an animal person. I think he just likes to feel powerful or something, but these are just helpless animals...
Our last dog was very well behaved but BIL always found a reason to shove him. I'm scared because our new dog is really good too considering he's only 4 months, but he still gets over excited and silly sometimes and I don't think BIL is understanding of 'age appropriate behaviour'.
Asking him to leave our pets doesn't seem to help, and DH can't stand up to anyone in his family so it's always left to me. Lucius is at an impressionable age and I don't want him scared of people, we're teaching him what behaviour is good and bad without whacking him and he's such a good pup.
I'm dreading Christmas... What do I do?....:gloomy:
how old is he?
depends if you're going for a day or longer at the in-laws..... I'd say Leave him at home!! I'd rather have him play with his toys at home then get psyched up by your idiotic BIL! Then you wouldn't have to worry.
BIL is 32. The whole family thinks he's great with kids and animals but he worries me with both.. Pup is 4 months
We're going for 2 nights, he's never been left alone over night before and I'd rather try him for 1 night before I leave him for 2...
Plus there's no-one around who can feed him for us, he still eats 3 times a day to prevent bloat (apparently common in his breed). I wish I could leave him home!!
i dnt have any advise but im sending lots of love and i hope everything goes well. if not u can always dob him in to animal crulty.
Bring a chain to tie up your BIL.:)
:laughing: A chain is a great idea!! And a good smack for DH so he sticks up for our dog and it's not just me against all of 'them'!!
What a bummer. Just stand your ground and tell BIL to GROW-UP. I don't care who I offend when it comes to stuff like this.
My BIL hits our dog and says he's playing...I go off my rocker when I catch him!! Then I lock the dog under the house until BIL gets lost!
I have lost friends over this topic anyone touches my animals inappropriately and I belt them back, my dog is 55kg and if she decides to bite back she could be put to sleep, I am a vet nurse and I prefer my dog to most people I know, there is no excuse for being cruel to animals and I do not care who I offend I will scream it from the rooftops, I dont speak to family members because of it. good luck, I hope he doesnt ruin your xmas, and what a beautiful dog by the way I love great danes.
:hugs: I can't stand people that just can't be nice to animals it makes me :barf: that people can treat them properly. Won't start - because I can't stop...
I have made my feeling quite clear and if animal cruelty or mis treatment occuring I will ring the authorities regardless of who it is, I have also said if they don't like the way our dogs were (puppies bit silly etc) don't come around.... its there problem not ours.... I would worry about offending your BIL sounds like he wouldn't even get that your upset about it. Just lay down the law and thats it....
If it worries you that much - I live in Brisy too? I'm a huge animal lover and if it's not too far away I could help out...
Hi...my brother is a vet...i asked him what to do. He said that when training a cat not to do naughty things u spray it with a water bottle. I suggest u take a water bottle and spray your bil if he misbehaves. If that doesnt work...tip the water out...fill it with pee and spray that on him..if he's going to behave worse than an animal then he should b taught a lesson.
I wont apologise...i luv animals...they should b treated with respect...and plus it's their xmas too:xmas:
I suggest u take a water bottle and spray your bil if he misbehaves. If that doesnt work...tip the water out...fill it with pee and spray that on him..if he's going to behave worse than an animal then he should b taught a lesson.
kiah :laughing: absolutely loved that! very good idea :thumbsup:
LOL - I like that spray bottle idea too - must keep that in mind for a few moronic people I know.
Can you possibly leave him at a kennel for the two nights? even though it might be a strange place - it has to be better than dealing with you BIL.
Or take Jem up on her offer lol.
I personally wouldnt take him unless I was prepared to do anything and everything in my power to put BIL in his place when it was called for (which I would - so no issue there really).. all depends on what you really fell comfortable doing I guess.
Auuugh this makes me angry too my Uncle who luckily lives in Perth is like this.
Horrible horrible man. Its a power trip & its pathetic !
He was mean to my Mum & Aunty growing up very callous. Then when we were all kids he would tease us 3 girls & all my cousins 5 boys. Us girls he would pull our hair & everything. So when we kids did stand up to him as we got older by hitting him or the likes he would become furious but all our parents would sit back & say he deserved it !!!!
My Uncle came to visit one year just as my Aunty ( his sister ) got a puppy a little maltese & so did i being my labrador. He scared my Aunty's dog so badly etc she has never been the same since poor thing she had enough issues before hand & that just made it all worse. So he came to visit my mum & i, which luckily i had the day off work so was prepared to belt him if he touched her. But my mum got in first as soon as he walked through the front door my mum laid down the law saying " you touch the dog, upset her or hurt her in anyway you will never be welcome here again " I have to say i stood there :eek: Was so awesome having my mum stand up to him :yelclap:
I would lay down the law, yes you are in their home etc but they have no right to touch your dog !
Good luck i hope all goes well :hugs:
men are like that though,
they push they're head and then the dog jumps around and barks and gets excited. they think that being rough is how you play with things.
in dog years they are around the same age mentally immature.
so if your dog doesnt like it im sure it will let him know
Thanks everyone for you help!:hugs:
I think I'll just have to stand up to him.. I'm just worried it'll make my Christmas even more horrible!
I asked my BIL nicely not to stomp through my garden (he's big and was stepping right on plants he could easily have gone around) at dh's 30th last year and he cracked the s***'s and took off. Then all of the in-laws went off after him and wouldn't talk to me! I even had to tell dh NOT to chase after him because it was HIS party!! That's what they're like, I've already been in tears today because 1- I'm pregnant and emotional and 2- I'm dreading christmas with them.... Christmas is my absolute favourite time of year... They can be really nasty...
If it gets too much for me I think I might walk off and dh will have to watch his dog... Or better still, I'll take the dog with me.
I hope it all works out ok. People who abuse animals should have the same thing done to them-see how much they like it being done to them!!! :mad: People like that should be shot! if anybody hurt my dog they'd wear me!
Bring a chain to tie up your BIL.:)
:laughing: Thats the best thing ive heard all week!!!!! I totally agree.
I think BIL is big enough to cope with an earful about appropriate behaviour. I think give him a warning i.e "Hey our new pup is just getting settled so can you be gentle with him please" and if he is rough then a 2 x 4 in the back of the head should do the trick....jk. Seriously though if he ignores your request then feel free to let him have it.
Yesterday I told dh I was really worried about how BIL will be, dh got cross at me because I've apparently already said that! No - "I understand and I'll make sure the dog is ok"!!!
I will say something, problem is it's not just BIL, if I say anything it's BIL +BIL +SIL +MIL all getting mad at me, and they really can be horribly nasty.:no:
*sigh* Thanks everyone for your help though, it really has made me feel better and put a smile on my face. Even if I don't have the inlaws support, or even dh's, I know I have yours:hugs:
Wish me luck for tomorrow!! I'll need it!
:fingerscrossed: Good Luck for tomorrow!!!! Your DH's family sound like a bunch of tossers...its true what they say, you can pick your friends but not your family! Never let anyone else stand in the way of your beliefs.
Give your pup a cuddle for me!
Just a reminder...water bottle + pee = revenge
spray him if u need to! good luck
Well, the pup and I survived Christmas with the in-laws. They are nicer because I'm pregnant (sometimes I think it's too little too late though) and I think that helped alot.
BIL grabbed the dog and shoved his head into the ground when he took the ball they were playing cricket with and I yelled at him from the verandah. Something along the lines of "DON'T SHOVE THE DOG HE'S ONLY GETTING THE BALL BECAUSE DP TAUGHT HIM TO CATCH BALLS AND HE GIVES IT BACK IF YOU JUST SAY "GIVE"!!!!!!!". Then he pushed him in the head again later for doing nothing but walking past so I got up him again.
I think if I'd said anything and I wasn't pregnant they would have made things alot worse for me!
Thanks for your support, all of your advice really did give me the guts to say something:yes: :hugs:
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