so scared

[mumneedshelp]

I think I might be pregnant and not to my boyfriend.

it was a very silly mistake.

now I am worried as the guy has told me to terminate no questions asked but I dont think I can.:no:

this will split my boyfriend and I up and he will possibly want custody of our lil girl.

one of the guys friend has said he may try to take it off me to spite me even though he doesnt want it. I was also told he will come after me the words were something like 'he will come after your kneecaps your house your kids and everything you have to F##K you over'

'he will play head games with you'

I have noone I can talk to at all. I am really scared if I choose to keep it(if I am) he will come after me.

I am also scared of losing my daughter but not as much as I fear he will hunt me down for not terminating.

do I tell him if I am pregnant and am keeping it?
I really dont think I can terminate:crying:

but at the same time I could lose so much.


where can I go to get help? I will have to leave town so he cant find me. I have no money and no car. No family and no friends. noone I can trust. I am so so scared.:(

thank you for listening:gloomy:

[~rambox~]

Ok firsty Are you sure it is not possible to be your boyfriends??

Does he know about the other guy??

If I was you i would tell the police that this person has threatened you so that it is atleast on report if something does happen. :fingerscrossed: that it doesnt.

As for terminating it is totally your decission and NOONE including him can tell you what to do.

I have had a termination when i was 17 as i feared for my self and the baby cause of the person it was with. I still believe that i made the right decision.

Good luck :hugs:

[kiah]

I know this might sound bad but can u pretend the baby is your boyfriends and persuade him to move somewhere else with you away from everyone. Tell him u need a change of life need to focus on your family with the new addition.

Then tell that other person that u made the mistake with that u got rid of it.

I know it sounds a bit bad but whatever decision u come to its going to b sad. Losing custody of your child would b devasting.:no:

Just dont ever make that mistake ever again. Spend the rest of your life making yourself a better person.:)

[mumneedshelp]

its definately not my boyfriends:gloomy:

things are really strained with us anyway so no matter what I dont think we will last much longer. I couldnt live with myself if i terminated to save my relationship and then we split up anyway:(

[OJandMe]

I have no advice.

But I have lots of :hugs: .

You'll get through this. I agree with Relvy, you have to tell the police if he's made threats against you. And are you sure it's NOT your BF's?

[~rambox~]

its definately not my boyfriends:gloomy:

things are really strained with us anyway so no matter what I dont think we will last much longer. I couldnt live with myself if i terminated to save my relationship and then we split up anyway:(

I so hope everything works out for you and good luck with your decision :hugs:

[mumneedshelp]

99.99% sure its not his. as far as I can remember we have not even had sex since my last period and before that it was with a condom and very rarely.

[kiah]

If its definitely not your boyfriends and you aren't getting along u definitly shouldnt b together.

Although u may lose your daughter for a while if u want to keep this baby u may have to go away and have it in hiding for a few yrs and then reaapear later.

At least both children will still exist in the world. In order to have the happiness of keeping the little one u r pregnant with u will hav to make a sacrifice.:hugs:

[kristi001]

Big :hugs: For you

Well if i were you i would just break up with the boyfriend you are with now..

Not because of the baby but because you are unhappy and its just not working.

If you go to your local womens health centre or even centerlink they can help you with housing until you get on your feet.

Tell your X that after a fling ( after you have broken up ) You have fallen pregnant and tell the other guy that you aborted.

Yes there is quite a few lies but this way hopefully you and your X will stay civilized due to you first child and the other man will not know a thing... :thumbsup:

If you really feel this is what you want then Just go ahead and do it!! Be strong.. YOu can do it!!!

I wish you all the best and to let you know that all us bubhubbers will be here for an ear :)

:hugs:

[jess_live_die]

:hugs::hugs::hugs: i say do wat u feel is right in ur heart boyfriends come and go but child stay for life.

[melfunction]

Honesty is always the best policy.

Sure, sh!t might hit the fan for awhile, but at least you'll have a clear conscience.

[FourAngelKisses]

:hugs::hugs::hugs: i say do wat u feel is right in ur heart boyfriends come and go but child stay for life.


I agree!

[motherlylove]

Don't let this guy intimidate you you have lots of options but first i would do a test go to the doctors and go from there. As for options there is refuges emergancy housing /accomodation. Pregnancy support line listed in your local phone book. Good luck let us know how you go and if you need to chat feel free to pm me

[*munchkin*]

:hugs::hugs::hugs: i say do wat u feel is right in ur heart boyfriends come and go but child stay for life.

I second that.
:hugs: for you. You should do what is right for you (and potentially yourbaby). Not what this intimidating guy is trying to make you do, and not what you think you should do to save your relationship. Make sure you put yourself first, whatever you do.

[SamanthaJane]

Honesty is always the best policy.

Sure, sh!t might hit the fan for awhile, but at least you'll have a clear conscience.

I agree. You wouldnt want the truth coming out later on....

Good luck with whatever you choose to do and keep us informed because we are all here for you :hugs:

[the_queen]

Sounds like a brand new life is about to start for you :hugs:
If I was in your shoes, I'd break up with the boyfriend, take my daughter and start a new life. Don't tell him that you're pregnant. Try to sever all ties with this psycho other guy. Tell him you had a termination, then don't ever see him again. I would absolutely consider moving to a new city and starting all over again.

Don't stress about losing your little girl - it's highly unlikely.

And have some more of these :hugs: :hugs: :hugs:

[Sazeby]

Do you know for sure if you're actually pregnant?

You may be worrying too much darl..:hugs:

[mumneedshelp]

Do you know for sure if you're actually pregnant?

You may be worrying too much darl..:hugs:




not for sure yet but Im a major stresser. just trying to get my head around the possibility.

[MrsMiggins]

How soon until you can test?

Obviously I have very little idea of exactly what's going on in your life right now, only what I've read in your posts, but you do sound confused, frightened & upset. FWIW I honestly think that any guy who could say things like that to you and threaten you in that way is not at all worth being in a relationship with & not someone you would want to have as an influence in your childrens lives anyway.

I strongly suggest that you get a PG test ASAP and also seek relationship/pregnancy counselling either way. If you are PG, it is vital that you do what's right for you and that you are able to make a decision that you are happy with as early on in the PG as you can.

If you want to keep this baby, please consider how your life will be if you decide to terminate based on only your fear of this man. Please, please understand that I am not at all against termination. I just know that you are confused & need help. If you decide to terminate this PG, do it only because it is the right decision for you & not because you feel intimidated by this person, or through guilt.

There are many avenues available to help women in your situation. Have a look in your local phone book, call Lifeline, speak to your GP - there are so many places that can help you confidentially.

And feel free to PM me any time. I know it can help just to have someone to listen who will be a shoulder to cry on or give you support without judging. :hugs:

[MissSparkle]

Sounds like a brand new life is about to start for you :hugs:
If I was in your shoes, I'd break up with the boyfriend, take my daughter and start a new life. Don't tell him that you're pregnant. Try to sever all ties with this psycho other guy. Tell him you had a termination, then don't ever see him again. I would absolutely consider moving to a new city and starting all over again.

Don't stress about losing your little girl - it's highly unlikely.

And have some more of these :hugs: :hugs: :hugs:

I agree!! I "had" a friend who got preg to this guy and he told her she HAD to have an abortion. She didnt want to, he threatened her so she told him she would have one. They parted and she had a baby. Baby was about 10months and ex bf sees her with baby, knows it'd his and wants to play "daddy" for a few weeks before disappearing again.

If u are preg, I agree u just break up with ur bf and move away. Thats what Id do.

[blaykendtahneemum]

:hugs::hugs::hugs: i say do wat u feel is right in ur heart boyfriends come and go but child stay for life.


i agree.. its not up to any one else what u do. its ur body .

[~Alicia]

When I read the first line I thought ' ooooh gossip', but as I read on I realised its a serious situation.

I hope the decision you make is the right one. I'm thinking of you. :hugs:

[lotsababies]

If you are pregnant, to the other man, and you're so scared of him now, get the police involved. Get a restraining order.

If you want to keep your daughter there is no reason why you cant. NO judge will take a child off you for having an affair! They look at your stability as her mother, and your ability to care for her.
You should tell your BF as he will find out sooner or later and he will respect you more for telling him yourself than he would by just watching your tummy grow and thinking "what the"... If he ends it with you, thats he's decision.

The babys father does not HAVE to be put on the birth certificate therefore he can't have grounds for taking the baby. A Judge will ask for a DNA test IF he takes you to court and you are allowed to refuse. He has to prove he is a better parent than you after proving he's the dad! this will take years in court if he's got the will.

It's up to you what you decide to do but don't allow any man to treat you like you have no option and make you feel scared and stuck. A domestic violence worker can help with money, housing and the like, as well as an order if ytou need one against either men.:shame:

[mum33]

all i can say to you is dont fool your current DP into thinking that this baby is his.....really foolish idea.

[Beany]

all i can say to you is dont fool your current DP into thinking that this baby is his.....really foolish idea.

Absolutely agree.

[Ashleigh<3]

I would be very worried about your safety after reading what his friend had to say.

You have every right to keep the baby as it's in your body but as everyone has said, don't tell your boyfriend it's his, he'll only believe that if he's stupid.

If you love your boyfriend you need to tell him and maybe look for a safe place to live if things get bad.

Worried for you, good luck!:hugs:

[iluvmeboyz]

I would be very worried about your safety after reading what his friend had to say.

You have every right to keep the baby as it's in your body but as everyone has said, don't tell your boyfriend it's his, he'll only believe that if he's stupid.

If you love your boyfriend you need to tell him and maybe look for a safe place to live if things get bad.

Worried for you, good luck!:hugs:

i agree you kneed to tell him he has every right do you think the baby is his by nay chance your bf?

[PunkyDiva]

By talking to relevant authorities/support services then you have written and verbal records of what turmoil/abuse your boyfriend is putting you through. May not be needed but is there if needed.
Do you have family members/close freinds who can help and support you??
:hugs: Have Pm'd you sweet.

[neostudded]

You shouldn't terminate out of fear and let the father get away with acting like a child.
Why do you say your Boyfriend will get custody of your daughter?

Don't get rid of the baby simply because the father is acting like a jerk, It is your baby and your baby need's you to proctect him/her.By the sound's of thing's you want to keep this baby, so dont let anyone pressure you in to anything.:hugs:

Get support wherever you can, there are alot of service's out there that offer help, Hang in there.Don't tell your boyfriend it is his if it isn't that is wrong in so many way's.Could you imagine how silly you'd feel when he found out the truth?

You will probly have to tell him you are pg sooner or later to.

It's a pretty messy situation you are in so here is another hug:hugs:

[tickle]

Closing at the request of the OP.