How do you settle your bub

[Rainbowbrite]

Hiya ladies,

I was just putting MJ to bed and was just curious to know how you all settle your bubs if at all.

Do you pat, sush, rock, wrap, sing etc.

Just thought it may help any new mums or mum-to-be's :)

RB

[Kamaikia]

I know its a terrible habit but my son goes to sleep with a bottle (he is 1). If that doesn't work (if he is sick or teething he won't take a bottle) then a cuddle and a song always work.

[Nickster]

I rock my baby to sleep. I have a fantastic leather rocking chair - so comfy - that swivels, reclines, makes cappucinos (oops sorry that's me fantasising again!). It is honestly one of the best things I have ever bought, because it has saved my back. I have it set up next to her cot, and after her dinner, usually about 6.30 - 7pm (sometimes sooner depending on her tired signs) I give her a dummy, and DH and I tell her it's "rock-a-bye time", she gives us a little wave, and I take her upstairs to her dimly-lit, closed-curtained, all-ready-for-bed bedroom and rock her to sleep. She has her "night-night" breastfeed, and I softly sing to her (we have a total of 3 "sleepytime songs" on our list of faves). Sometimes she falls asleep on the boob, sometimes not. I love watching her snuggle into my arms (sometimes she has a little cry in my arms, but I figure at least I'm there with her) and seeing her little eyes roll back into her head before they finally close and smelling her sweet baby breath. I'm not too worried about the "learning to self-settle" school of thought - we tried that and it didn't work for us - she's only a baby, and I figure when she's older and taking herself off to bed I will look back at this special time and truly miss it.

[Rainbowbrite]

Nickster that is so beautiful :)

I also don't self soothe. MJ cries because she needs something i believe. As you said, they are only babies. They grow up so fast :(

RB

[Nickster]

Thanks for your sentiments, Rainbowbrite. I know CC works for some, but it's just not for us. I figure it takes just as long to get her off to sleep this way as it would listening to her cry - and that's the decision we made.

I also think there's a reason rocking chairs have been around for so long!! :)

[Kamaikia]

I was just wondering Nickster how long do you spend rocking before bub is asleep?? It usually only takes about 5 minute max of singing before my man is out.

[Chickadee]

Patting and a creaky door "naaah naaah" when DD was 4-6 months old. Now just a pat occassionally when she's very cranky and overtired.

[Refresh]

Millar was always breastfed to sleep - just lately he is happy to have me lie down next to him but he MUST have a hold of my hair and be practically lying on top of me to go to sleep! If he's unsettled he'll still have a BF.

I still lie down with my 5 year old as well - its a lovely time:)

[Nickster]

Martha M, I love your "creaky door naah naah"!

Kamaika, it only takes about 5 minutes, as long as she's ready to sleep and I have interpreted her tired signs correctly. We have about a 98% hit rate with that - it's only if she's really overtired, or if I have worked that day that she can take longer or fuss so much I know it's not going to work right then and there - so I just stop, take her downstairs and try again a little later.

[Rainbowbrite]

I wish i had a rocking chair, the hints while pregnant just weren't good enough :rolleyes:

Toby@Millar'sMum, i'm happy to hear someone else is like me. We have 3 options

1. Put her in the cot, kiss on the head and walk away and she'll drift off holding her stuffed turtle.

2. Above won't work and she'll start calling out (squealing, not upset) so I go back in & pat on the bum while shushing till the eye's close

3. I lay on the bed next to the cot. Let MJ hold one of my hands & stroking her head with the other. This usually results in her humming while she goes to sleep. Brings tears to my eyes everytime ;)

MJ has not bf to sleep since she was little other than her 10pm feed when she's not fully awake anyway. Sometimes I wish she would, i love watching her go to sleep like that.

If she's overtired then the only way is for me to hold, cuddle real tight, pat on the bum & sush really loudly to drown her out. Not fun times :(

RB

[rynosmum]

I admit we did CC very early on and were extremely lucky to have a baby who adapted to it within 3 days.

DS has his dinner and dessert, then his bath, then some more play whilst he is getting into his jammies. We then have quiet bottle time, he gets down from the couch to cuddle Daddy then takes my hand, we go to his room and he stands next to his cot waiting to get into bed. We have a little song and then I leave him to go to sleep.

Just like mummy, DS loves his sleep... :D

[mimi]

Boobs! Always the boobs! :D ... well for the youngest anyway! ;)

We have a night time routine of stories, kisses etc then, for those that require it, BOOB! and sleep hits in about 5 minutes... or less.

We [well usually I, as hubby works most nights] still lie down with our 5 year old too - even though he doesn't actually NEED us to now, it is something we like to do ... and will do until he says 'No more' LOL!

Aletha Solter says, kids need to go to sleep with a loving adult present, until they no longer request the 'service'! and I think that is good advice! :)

[Refresh]

Aletha Solter says, kids need to go to sleep with a loving adult present, until they no longer request the 'service'! and I think that is good advice!

That's lovely:D I totally agree - it's such a nice time and its lovely watching them drift off to sleep knowing that they feel safe and loved:)

[Rockett]

I still cuddle DD to sleep,I've tried putting her in the cot and leaving her but she gets most upset and then it's even harder to get her to sleep!
It takes about 10 min usually,if I've read the tired signs right,otherwise she'll keep looking around and get more distracted so then it can take about half an hour! The only time she will go to bed without cuddles is if she wakes up in the middle of the night,she'll go down without any fuss.
I don't mind rocking her to sleep though,apart from BF,it's our special time. :)
Friends have told me that I'll have trouble later on,but we'll cross that bridge when we come to it.No CC for us!!

[Refresh]

Friends have told me that I'll have trouble later on,

haha heard that one before! I actually believe that by them feeling safe and secure to go to sleep and bedtime being a happy time that you are less likely to have problems later on. As Mimi said, I dont actually "have" to lie with my 5 year old now but we just do becuase its nice. Whats a problem anyway? Lying with them to go to sleep when they are 5,6,7? Doesn't seem like a problem to me:D The older they get the less you see of them anyway so I would think that this would be a nice opportunity to spend some time together:)

[mimi]

Whats a problem anyway? Lying with them to go to sleep when they are 5,6,7? Doesn't seem like a problem to me:D The older they get the less you see of them anyway so I would think that this would be a nice opportunity to spend some time together:) I have to agree wholeheartedly! :D ... This is often the time that DS's 'deep and meaningful' questions arise - or out pops one of his little niggling worries.

Definitely a great opportunity to connect, ESPECIALLY as they get older!:D

[Rockett]

I agree.It's such a special time for us,we gaze into each others eyes as she drifts off.... ahh,makes you melt. :)

[Refresh]

This is often the time that DS's 'deep and meaningful' questions arise - or out pops one of his little niggling worries.

Yes, yes, yes!! Exactly!! Toby is the same - he doesnt talk to me about things during the day early as much as he does in bed at night. Thankyou for reaffirming the importance of it for me:)


I agree.It's such a special time for us,we gaze into each others eyes as she drifts off.... ahh,makes you melt.

Awwwwww :)

[Nickster]

[QUOTE=
Friends have told me that I'll have trouble later on[/QUOTE]

What sort of trouble? What do people mean when they say this? How I hate that line - the CHN used it with me too.

[Rockett]

They mean that If I keep rocking her to sleep she'll never learn how to self settle.
I don't like that line either!

[Refresh]

hahaha Yeah because of course 8 month olds need to be "independant" LOL!!

[Rainbowbrite]

Both DH & i are too soft to let MJ cry. As soon as she makes a noise DH is in my ear 'is she ok, should i get her, i want to cuddle her.' According to family we'll end up with a clingy little girl. Oh well, more hugs for us :D

RB

[Maxs_MumMy]

Ever since Max was born he has always been the type of baby that will fall asleep on his own...i put him in his cot and 5mins later his asleep, ive never rocked, patted, sung or anything to him...im very lucky in that respect. :D

[Refresh]

Ever since Max was born he has always been the type of baby that will fall asleep on his own...

Thats great!
And thats just it, they're all so different - we need to be tuned into what each one needs, we cant put them all in the same box like some books tell us to:)

[mimi]

... According to family we'll end up with a clingy little girl...
Research actually shows that children who are attended to quickly and lovingly in those early years grow up to be LESS clingy and are more secure ... and 'separate' from their parents more easily when it is time to do so i.e. school ... so you can tell your family THAT next time!! :D

[nemosmum]

I have used alot of different methods over the last 15 months, I just adapt to what he needs.

When he was a newborn we co slept, then when he got older we cuddled him to sleep, when he got to about 8 months he started going to sleep on his own.
Now we just say "nigh nigh time" and he runs into his room grabs his wrap and his man dolly and waits for us to put him in his cot lol too cute :p

I actually think its time for a big bed as he runs up and down his cot when he wakes in the morning Im afraid he'll break the cot lol his not a small bub thats for sure HEHEHE

It does make me sad to think my bub is growing up and no longer needs me to cuddle him off to sleep, like alot of others have said their little for such a short period of time...........Im clucky I think its time for another one :D

[Nickster]

Lookout TTC thread! Here comes orlandosmum!!! he he hee!!!

I figure that babies are meant to cry and parents are meant to respond to that cry. It's a survival thing, and studies have shown babies left to cry for extended periods are more likely to develop anxiety disorders later in life.

My grandfather would never let my grandmother pick up her babies (my mum and my aunt) when they cried, and they used to scream themselves to sleep night after night. This was back in the days when people generally believed that you would spoil a baby by picking it up whenever it cried. The neighbours used to tell my grandma she was a cruel mother, but still, grandpa ruled the roost. My mother gets very upset whenever it is brought up - she tends to be an anxious sort of person a lot of the time. It makes me so sad that that happened in my family. I never want that for Libby.

Sorry to spill my guts so much, I don't know what came over me.

[JanetF]

I breastfeed him and he's asleep within minutes. During the day I roll off the bed and make a quick getaway, or stay and kip if I'm feeling tired. At night he rolls off and lies there watching me while he drifts off. We only had sleep struggles before I worked out that babies are supposed to breastfeed to sleep LOL.

[JanetF]

Nicole it's lovely to see someone who has seen those brutal practices in action and decided against them. Plenty of people still do that stuff from lack of real information and support. Hopefully a thread like this wil increase some awareness around normal sleep for babies and how NOT to achieve it!
:)

[nemosmum]

Lookout TTC thread! Here comes orlandosmum!!! he he hee!!!
.

Hmmm maybe lol :D

[Rockett]

hahaha Yeah because of course 8 month olds need to be "independant" LOL!!

HeHe, good one!!

I think you should do whatever feels right for you and your bub...after all, mumma knows best!! :D

[Kamaikia]

"you will have trouble later on", and "they won't learn to self settle" - these are 2 very stupid comments - How many adults do you know who need to be rocked to sleep?? :) Might take time but they learn eventually.
I'm afraid my son will be one of those babies still getting put to sleep when he is 5 (which I will deal with).
I try putting him in his cot and he just jumps around then falls and hits his head - not worth the headache to either me or him.

[tickle]

Kamaikia: I just go with the supernannies advice, she's great. :p Sorry just pulling your leg.
No my DS just gets in bed with me. I usually move him once he's asleep and I have found most nights he will sleep through after this. Just me but I would hate for my DS to scream and scream and loose faith in the fact that his mum will always be there for him and look after him. I'm sure there are others out there who would hate to have their DS in their bed. Each to their own!! :)

[Foxymoron]

Boobs, or co-sleeping. My eldest is testament to the simple fact that all those statements "she'll never learn to settle herself" etc were just a lot of hot air. She's settled, popular among her peers and knows how to communicate her needs. And she was a high needs baby, who had to be in arms ( thank god for slings) all the time.