Where Do I start...... *long*

[nottheusualme]

I'm a regular bub hub visitor but have logged in under a different name as I am not willing to share all this with those who know me.

Not sure where to start or if anyone can offer me any advice, not even sure where I should be posting this .....

Firstly, I am a cr*ppy mother. I have two kids (aged 12 months & 2.5 yrs) and I feed them rubbish because I am always so tired and can't be bothered making them healthy options only to have it rejected anyway.

I am also setting a bad example. I literally live off chocolate and diet coke. You might think I'm exagerating this but I'm not, all I eat is chocolate all day and have about 10 cans of diet coke. I know this is not good for my health and my boys are no doubt watching me and thinking that they can just live off chocolate too. I am not overweight but am constantly thinking about my weight (I'm 54kg and 164cm) I won't eat anything else apart from the chocolate in case I put on too much weight.

DH and I have had sex twice in 12 months. I know he doesn't really find me attractive anymore. He never approaches me for it and I don't approach him either. I don't mind as I don't enjoy it at all but I'm upset that he has given up and isn't interested in me. Sometimes I wonder if he is having an affair. Sometimes I wish he was, at least that way I could find out and have an excuse to make him leave.

I find myself feeling angry and resentful every day, there is just no joy in my life anymore. I rarely laugh, I find it hard to even smile - I'm bored with being a SAHM, yet I can't work because the childcare will cost me more than what I would earn.....

I just don't know how to get the "old me" back. I want to feel happy, I want to enjoy my kids, I want to be able to actively play with them and laugh with them. I want to love my husband and be affectionate with him but I just don't know how?

I feel like I have slipped so far away from the old me that I will never get myself back again IYKWIM?

Latley, I have been feeling so tired and having trouble breathing, even after the lightest exercise I am out of breath and tired. I can't even take my boys to the park, it's all too hard.

Anyway, I feel a bit ridiculous for typing all this out, I don't know what it will acheive other than to make me feel a bit better for just telling someone how I feel.

Sorry it's so long .................

[Mum&bubs]

Aww hun I really don't know what to say but I did want to offer you some :hugs: :hugs:

Does your husband know how you are feeling? Maybe you could talk through with him how you are feeling so you two could work on it together? Worth a shot :)

Sorry you are feeling like this & I hope things improve for you.

[nottheusualme]

I have tried to tell DH how I feel. He thinks it's funny and calls me "psycho" and basically says just to snap out of it. Not very helpful at all really.

[2prettygirls]

:hugs: to you.

It is hard being a mum and when your not coping it all seems so hard. Have you been feeling this way for a while? Maybe you need to talk to someone, get some help so you can be happy with yourself , kids and hubby. Maybe hubby sees you as you are and doesnt know how to approach you about how u feel, something some men cant do.

Pm me if you want to chat about anything.

[Manxie]

A big :hugs: . I agree that maybe you should try counselling, talk to your g.p. and see what they think and if they can recommend someone.

It might be easier to discuss things with DH as well if you have talked things through with someone else beforehand.

Do you get any you time? Maybe some time to yourself would help you feel more like your old self.

I am sorry for not being very helpful and I hope that you can find a solution soon:kiss:

[JATS]

The only way to deal with this is from within yourself.

Maybe you should at least be taking multivitamins (if you aren't already, they help me alot with energy), work your way up in the 'food' dept, plenty of fruit/veg/dairy will really help your energy levels and mood. Not hard really, a piece of fruit or tub of yoghurt is pretty quick and easy!

I actually got to a point a few years ago very much the way you described your life (except I was living on 2 min noodles and cordial). It REALLY took its toll on my relationship with hubby, I gave him a REALLY hard time. I'm glad he's patient and we made it through because now we're inseperable!

I honestly started by just going for a walk a few times a week, come home hungry and have a piece of fruit and glass of water. Worked up to once a day, then twice a day.... it helped soooo much!

It really improved my mood and energy, hubby responded VERY enthusiasticly ;)

You really need to push yourself to that first step and boot yourself over it! Been there and it took so long before I got rid of the whole 'meh, can't be bothered' attitude. Once you get started and realise how much better you feel it's hard to stop!

[~Candy~]

Hi, With the "work", if you want to go back, how about doing it at night or on the w/ends if dh is home to look after the kids? It doesn't have to be all night long..I went from 6pm -10pm and still had plenty of sleep had saturdays off and worked 10am-2pm sunday. I had all this extra money to get out and start enjoying life :) Well, untill I got pregnant..lol. Just a suggestion to get you out of the house, and find something that is all about YOU :)

[poodysmum]

Are you going out and meeting other mums? Ive found that this helped heaps, as it makes you feel less isolated. And maybe see if you can plan activities for each day, so you can get out of the house-it wears the kids out and it'll give you a change of scenery.
All the coke and chocolate would be making you even more tired, because of the caffeine. It'll strip your body of the little stores of iron that you have left, so I wouldnt be suprised if you are really iron deficient! No wonder you're tired!
Like the girls have said, it would be worth a visit to your GP to get this all sorted. It's awful feeling like that, but if you get help, then you might be able to get back to feeling like your old self again. If you ever need to chat, feel free to send me a PM. Let us know how you are going.:hugs: Take care of yourself.

Alli

[susiehomemaker]

Def visit your GP. Your GP will be able to rule out anything health wise (check your thyroid etc- mine took a sudden dive and by the time I was ready for work I was ready to go back to sleep) and will be able to give you a referal for a counsellor/phsychologist, prescribe antidepressants etc. If you ever need to chat PM me.
I find excersise helps alot. But it is very hard to get started. You really need to start eating healthy too- all that chocolate and diet coke will only make you feel worse. It is a vicious circle. But I think you already know that- just re-inforcing the view :-) I hope you are feeling better soon and that you get the help you deserve. DP doesnt sound the most sympathetic- I know how you feel there.

[Squiggles]

What you eat has a massive effect on your moods... I would say start there. Perhaps try to eat a proper meal at least once a day and see how it makes you feel.

When I was in my late teens all I ate was hungry jacks or McDonalds - literally for a few months. I felt so low and so depressed. It wasn't until I had to see a doctor because I had bad pains in my left arm (felt like a hear5t attack) that i changed the way I ate. It had a HUGE effect on how I felt emotionally.

Could be worth a try for you...

:hugs:

[angelickaren]

first of all :hugs: to you
sounds to me you are in depression i have been their and to be honesti think im there again but anyway you need to see your gp forsure maybe find a consuler and talk to someone it feels like you are in a hole and cant get out i know i was in that hole for 2 yrs pm anytime i you want to talk ok

[ButterflyMama]

I'd go and visit your GP and have a chat. The first step towards recovery is the hardest but once you have done that the rest is nothing! Recognising that you have a problem is also a fantastic start.

[kiah]

Even though u may end up with less money maybe going back to work is a sacrifice u might hav to make.

I am not criticising, but if your children are going to benefit from quality childcare rather than being neglected, and u able to function better in the community by going back to work, then dont u think it would be better than the situation u r in.

That would at least be the first step. At least do something for the childrens benefit and then help yourself.

U hav admitted there is a serious problem. Just think...u hav signed in under a different name, u r not going to be able to become invisible/anon in real life when people start seeing what is happening to your family. Then that will really be shameful.

Stop what you're doing now and change it. :thumbsup: