Lonely & a lot of spare time

[New Mumma]

My baby is 6 weeks old. I love being home and taking care of her but I am really missing contact with other people and being social. Most days the only people I see are my baby and my husband for the few hours he is home. Or the shopkeeper if I pop to the shop.

I am also finding it hard to be so inactive. I spend a lot of time sitting on the couch feeding. I do some exercise and take her for short walks. I am eating a lot out of boredomand am struggling to stop myself from putting on weight.

I am overall happy and don't feel depressed in case anyone was wondering.

Have any other Mums found themselves in the same situation? If so, what have you done to cope?

[hummingbird]

I noticed you are new to bubhub - it is pretty addictive so you might find you have solved your problem already!

I am not a mum yet, but I can imagine that it would be a hard transition. Do you have any friends / family in the same situation, or mum / aunty who is also at home during the day? Having a regular meet-up with someone can lift your spirits when you have something to look forward to.

I know what you mean about eating out of boredom. I am having a lazy 'me' day today and have so far eaten:

bowl of yoghurt with berries and banana
2 slices of peanut butter on toast
several peices of those dried apricot rolled in coconut things
left over frittata and salad.

I am now contemplating going to Blockbuster to get a Harry Potter DVD and a Magnum......sometimes you just need to veg.

[mim]

Hi New Mumma!

Firstly congratulations on your new babe!
I think all of us have felt this way - it's like starting all over again!
Have you joined a mothers group? It's a good way to meet other mums who have bubs the same age as yours. Maybe ask your CHN.
Lots of cinemas are doing mums and bubs sessions now. It doesn't matter if your bub cries or needs feeding, as everyone else there will be doing the same thing!
You could find an exercise class that you can take your baby to. Or I know there are yoga classes for mums and their bubs.
Swimming? Maybe when your bub is a little older you could start swimming lessons?
Can you leave bub with your DH for a couple of hours one night and start a hobby? Maybe you could do a class on something that intrests you.
And shopping! Use this time before your bub wants to walk everywhere and whinge for everything. Go shopping for hours! Have a coffee!

Sorry out of ideas right now. Good luck and I hope my suggestions are helpful.


Siobhan, can you get an extra magnum for me? :p

[veve]

ooh I feel the over-eating pain!!!!! - I dont eat until I am stuffed or anything... but since starting maternity leave... I am DEFINATEY eating too much!!!!!

I graze all day!!! HELP!!!! - the WORST thing about bubhub is that it is difficult to type when holding a weis bar!!!! - I am gradually becoming a touch typer with one hand!!! :D

I REALLY dont want to put weight on either ... but ... it is SO easy to eat when bored@!!!!

and somehow... dried fruit just doesn't fill the void like an ice-cream!!!

xxxxx

[JanetF]

How about playgroup?
Your local ABA group?
Your local MCHN mummies group?
The local library for story time?
Asking on bubhub for mamas near you and meeting up?
Local paper for mamas groups?

Hope you get some company soon :)

[Ffrenchknickers]

:D

I agree

:Join a mothers group - or two!
:Playgroup at local community centre or church
:Take you and bubs out for coffee (or tea or juice or whatever - it's amazing how much better you feel just being out and who knows who you might meet
:Join a gym
:Do some volunteer work at your local community centre/creek/church -babies are pretty portable at this age
:Bubhub!

[sarah81]

Hi,

I definately agree with the others and think you should try joining a local Mothers Group, 6 weeks is the best age to do it. This was the best thing for me. Then everyones baby is approximately the same age. In SA it is orgainsed by our local Child and Youth Health Centres so perhaps enquire at your local Child Health Centre.

I know people don't always gel well at these things but mine has been a really positive experience and almost 3 years later we still catch up once a week as a group and individually alot too.

I was also really lonely and found sitting down feeding for 8 hours a day, (my DS1 took an hour to feed for quite some time) really isolating. As well as Mothers Group as he got older and mobile we did more activities and made more friends that way.

Good luck,
Sarah 24
DP 29
DS1 13/03/03
DS2 15/05/05

[tyler's mum]

i know how u feel... however im a single mum [dad not in picture] so most days its just me and bub... i love her to death but it does get lonely just the 2 of us i have tryed to search for some sort of mother's group on line in my area yet to find any... a few of the girls on here said they are starting one up which would be great.... so many you should try to join one aswell gets u and bub outta the house

[HoopDeeDoo]

It is hard at first I remember feeling the same way when DS was that little. Just remember in a few months you'll be thinking "why aren't you sleeping more, i don't have time for anything" :) Bub Hub is an extreemly easy way to use up all those extra hours in the day :D And even though you can't see us it's like talking to a friend

[Manxie]

Hi

Know how you feel, fortunately I've met a good friend through Bubhub so at least have one contact.

I went to Babyroo yesterday for the first time with my 12 week old. Think they can start at 6 weeks. Its quite pricey $15 a week :eek: , but hubby and I have decided its worth it. Lucy loved it and its a great way to pick up tips on new things to do with them. Also hopefully I might meet some new friends, if not at least its a bit of interaction with some other people with bubs once a week.

Good luck :D

[brooke]

Hello New mumma,
Congrats on your new bubba!

I agree with the other girls a mothers group might be good for you?

I have just started maternity leave and get bored easy (but now i have bub hub)
so i try and organise to meet at least 1 friend for a coffee each week!
Its important to have human interaction!

I agree with the eating thing....... I am getting worse! :eek:

[jodiefullagar]

I am going through much the same thing. My baby is 5 weeks old yesterday and I am finding it quite stressful to get out and about at this early stage.

I was supposed to go to a bub & mum movie with a friend this morning but my baby seems to be having a bit of a growth spurt so is feeding and when not feeding, screaming to be fed. I get really stressed at the thought of him screaming in public and knowing that the only way to placate him is to feed him which brings up issues of where to feed him as I am so not comfortable with feeding him in front of other people ... yet! Makes it quite difficult even to go to the shops for a very quick visit!

I get confused about when to take him out for a walk and usually try as soon as I have given him a good feed - then cross my fingers that he won't suddenly get hungry as soon as I am out of the house!

Can someone tell me that it gets better as they get older - to give me hope!

[Peaceangels]

Hi and congratulations New Mama!
Feel lonely no longer - you have come to the right place! Adult interaction and more, its all here - enjoy!
You have received some really good advice already, so don't feel guilty about spending some time on your own.
Now's a good time to get out, while your bub sleeps alot. Mothers group is a good idea with a newborn (good to talk to other mums with bubs the same age), but playgroup is probably better when they are a bit older.
Looking forward to chatting with you!