Is it too soon?

[Jem]

I have been communicating with a guy i have known for about 7 months..

i met him on rsvp in may this year.. but we only sent the od "how you going?" email.

He works in the Northern territory on a station. He's hometown is Kempsey, Which is roughly a 4 hour drive from here.

He is getting a month off in January, So looks like i will be meeting him in person for the first time.

He started ringing me a week ago, and he always has so much to say.. usually work related.. i just... clam up.. and dont have a clue what to say.. its rather embarassing.

I guess im wanting some advice about a few things here.

How do you know when its right to get into another relationship.. i was hoping to be single for 6-12 months before even thinking about getting involved with someone.
Its only been a month and a half. :o

What do you say to someone over the phone that you have never met?
Whats the right thing to say.. and whats the wrong thing to say? :o

[WeThree]

To be totally honest I would say its too soon Jem, when you are entering a new relationship you owe it to that person imo to come into the relationship with as clean a slate as possible, not still sorting out everything from the previous relationship, and you still have so much to deal with and work out, its not really fair on the new person iykwim?
Anyway, thats my 2c worth, take it or leave it, lol :)

[Jem]

To be totally honest I would say its too soon Jem, when you are entering a new relationship you owe it to that person imo to come into the relationship with as clean a slate as possible, not still sorting out everything from the previous relationship, and you still have so much to deal with and work out, its not really fair on the new person iykwim?
Anyway, thats my 2c worth, take it or leave it, lol :)

Taking it :p

It would be selfish of me.. friendship first, if its meant to be a relationship might eventuate further down the track :D

[bekkyboo]

Taking it :p

It would be selfish of me.. friendship first, if its meant to be a relationship might eventuate further down the track :D
thats a great way to look at it Jem...

As for what to say... Just think of it as a friendship phone call and talk about things that interest you, or something that he has mentioned, expand on that and get to know him more.

The great thing about being friends first is that you find out all the nasties before getting into anything more serious where they can hurt... KWIM? That is one thing i am really glad for with my DH, is that i got to tell him everything without fear of pushing a partner away - as he was just a friend! And you can tell friends more things than a potential partner!

[WeThree]

Good for you Jem! If he's worth it, he'll wait :yes: :thumbsup:

[babyboo]

I would say if it hasnt been that long take your time, maybe start out as friendship. But at the same time depends on the connection you have.........use your instincts.

Ive been out of my relationship with dd father for almost 2 years now and im really glad that i gave myself time to heal, etc as i recently met someone that ive been seeing now for about a month.

My way of looking at it is that when you get to the point when you are comfortable being alone and dont feel like you NEED someone, your ready to give the right stuff to a relationship - hope that makes sense.

As for talking on the phone, i think when we dont know someone we all clam up. I met my guy on the net and at first i did the same cause you simply dont have a common ground at first so dont know what to say.

go with the flow. good luck.

[SamanthaJane]

Good for you Jem! If he's worth it, he'll wait :yes: :thumbsup:

I agree :yes:

Just take it slow :thumbsup:

[MissieK]

I agree, take it slow :) If he's a good guy, he'll understand that & be happy to be friends first.

Melissa