So confused about my pregnancy

[Mum1]

I am a member of this site and I don't want my identity to be shown so I have joined again to ask my question.

I'm so confused at the moment I am around 5 weeks pregnant and I'm not sure I want to keep the baby.The reason being I haven't been with my partner long under a year and sometimes we argue and I get very depressed and wonder if we will be together for the rest of our lives. I am engaged to this man as well.
I already have a child from a previous relationship and I'm scared that I will end up alone with 2 children to 2 different father's.

I'm not sure if it's just me thinking to much into this pregnancy to make me think like this.I do want another child but not sure if I want one now.I'm suffering some kind of depression ever since I found out I'm pregnant.

I've told my partner how I feel and he said if I have an abortion he will leave me.He said he is so happy to be having a child with me and would be devastated if I abort it.

I'm not even sure I could go through a abortion.
I'm so confused my mind is going a million miles.
I feel ashamed to even be writing this on this website but I need some advice from women who have been in this situation.

[Niki]

sorry i dont have any advice but wanted to give you :hugs: :hugs:

[poodysmum]

I too dont know what to say, but I hope that it all works out. Will be thinking of you:hugs:

Alli

[nkenward]

That is one tough decision. I don't think anyone here can give you the right & best advice for you without knowing all the details. Do you have a DR. that have a good relationship with - that you can discuss your concerns with. They maybe able to point you in the right direction.

To know whether you are with the right person - I think in today's society it can be a bit of a hunch. But someone once told me if you could still find this person attractive when they are old & wrinkly - then you are probably with the right person.

[oleander]

I have not been in this situation. I can imagine it must be hard for you. It would be a good idea to get some counselling to help you sort out your feelings. I wish you all the best with your descision:hugs:

[bronny-jane]

hey its ok to be scared and think about the future...but there all what if's.....dont live your life thinking about what might happen....me and dh have been together for over 6 years..we still argue almost everyday...but i know he loves me and i love him....

i had prenatal depression...go and speak to your doctor if you want some help or you can always pm me.

not everyone is that happy pg woman we think were meant to be:D i know i wasnt.

and hey even if things do go wrong and you do split...nothing wrong with having 2 kids to different dads....its so common....i wouldnt think bad of it...my friend has 3 kids to different fathers, she's a great mum:thumbsup:

oh and i wasnt ready to have my first baby...to bad i was 10 days overdue....you can never really prepare for whats going to happen.....but you can always count on support from all of us here:hugs:

[Becteria]

i wanted to give you a cyber hug and let you know i have been where you are.

Even in the last week i have been extremely upset thinking about this pregnancy. I have been speaking to a great GP and also my best friend and mum and am slowly feeling a bit better, not crying as much.

I think it is unfair for your partner t threaten to leave you however i dont know your whole situation so i am not judging him or you.... the thing for me has been trying to make sure i am dioing the right thing for the baby as well as my partner and i....
\

[mrsd]

It sounds really hard for you at present. The news of your pregnancy would still be very new for you and all life-changing news, whether good or bad or neither, takes a bit of getting used to.

Just remember that all those hormones are raging at the moment and they sometimes make us think and feel things that perhaps we wouldn't otherwise worry about.

At least your DP, despite your issues, is supportive of the pregnancy. It would make it doubly hard for you if he were not.

Good luck with everything. Talking to someone you trust and who is a good listener might help.

[Mum1]

Thank you for offering your advice. I'm thinking at the moment I am going to take day by day and try to relax more through this pregnancy.
I don't want to tell any family members how I feel because they might turn there feelings towards my DP. I have seen it happen through my best friend she told her mum and dad that she was having problems with her DP and they haven't liked him ever since they put on an act evertime he is around.
My DP looked so sad when he left for work today I feel terrible but I can't help my feelings.

I'm nearly 26 so it's not like I'm a baby maybe this will be the last baby I have.

Thank you all for letting me express how I feel.

[angelickaren]

hi first of all :hugs: to you it must be a hard decison for you to make but i have two kids with my ex and 1 with my current dp which i think i may be with for ever but who knows whats going to happen really.

i had pnp after my ds2 and had it for over a year thats why sorta i let my ex as i was just so over everything but it also comes down to as well if you really what this baby it must be really hard for you now as you dp knows and wont let you abort but really its still your decsion maybe go and see your gp and get some couselling about this and maybe even see if your dp would go as well.
i hope you can make the right decsion for you

[MissieK]

huge hugs. I have heard about a pregnancy counselling service set up to help women with this exact issue. Maybe your GP can give you a referral? I'm sorry I can't remember the name or if it's just a local thing, but your GP may know.

Huge hugs.

melissa

[Acacia]

Mum1, I hope you are feeling a bit better. Being depressed is a horrible feeling and i know it can be very difficult to get out of the dark place. The last thing you should be doing is placing extra guilt and pressure on yourself by taking on your DPs issues as well.

I would strongly suggest speaking to a councellor. You shouldnt go through this alone. There are usually perinatal councellors and psychiatrists through the hospital, and they are trained specifically to deal with depression in pregnancy. Dont be ashamed or embarrassed. It takes a lot of strength to be open about how you really feel.

I am expecting my first child in 5 weeks and i still have big concerns about whether or not im ready. My child will start its life getting a paternity test done and i feel so guilty for putting my current DP through hell when this should be a happy time for us all. I guess what im trying to say is that there are lots of situations out there and its normal to be confused and worried. My friend tried to concieve for a long while and when she finally got pregnant she had huge doubts. Either way doubts are normal, and certainly nothing to be ashamed about.

Good luck with your decisions. Feel free to PM me if you want to chat.

xxxx:hugs: