do you ever feel you will always be alone?

[tyler's mum]

hello there, i was just wondering if anyone else feels there all alone? my daughter is almost 8weeks im single, her dad is not in the picture... i have never really done well at relationships, and have always picked the wrong kinda man, the reality of it now is i have my daughter to think of now, i dont want her to grow up with my trust issues with men, i have a great relationship with both my parents but am scared my dad is the only man who will ever be in her life, that i will end up alone once she has grow up and move out,, i know your problemly thinking get over it she is on 7 weeks, but i cant stop thinking bout it like i said i dont do well with relationships, does anyone else feel the same or have any advice for me? would love to hear it

[draught]

I am not in the same boat now but have been in a similar positions and wanted you to know that someone is thinking of you. The first few months with a baby are a really emotional time at the best of times but with the worries you are having it can be even harder.

If it is any consolation I too had shocking luck with men and was hopeless at relationships and always thought I would be alone. I ended up having some counselling to work through some other issues and in the process was able to identify some of the problems with my past relationships and was amazed to see that there was a really consistent pattern. So I set about changing my approach to relationships - and a week later met DH, fell in love and the rest is history. Now while that might sound a little too easy I am still amazed that it happened as I had 15 years of dud relationships before that. So - working out how MY approach to men was letting me down certainly changed my future - it might be worth exploring for you? At the very least you might work out that it is okay for you not to have a man for your daughter to have as a role model, other than your dad - or you might work out what YOU want in a relationship so you can teach her about what to look for etc. Anyway - hope some of this helps.

[kiara]

I do hear what you are saying Tyler's mum. Even though I have a man in my life now, well if that's what you could call it, I have really bad relationships. This year I have had 2 relationships. They both ended cause they cheated on me with their ex partners and both times they got them pregnant. With the second relationship we were trying for a child so when I found out that the ex was pregnant I flipped. Well I cried a lot. 4 weeks later I find out I'm pregnant. So the baby had been conceived just as I found out because I stopped sleeping with him after I found out. He now is still in my life, his ex had a miscarriage. I do love him, don't trust him near her and everyone around us are completely shocked that he did this as it is so completely out of character. I guess I'm just letting him stay around cause I don't what my baby not to know her father. He is a great dad though. Just not much of a partner. He has apologised so many times for what has happened and i spose I'm just kinda stupid in the sense that I can understand how it all happened. Apart from these 2 relationships the rest have been dodgy too. However I always hold onto hope that I will meet someone and I always put past experiences behind me, and take the lessons learnt.


We will find our prince charmings one day. Good luck with the search

Kiara

[Imogensmum]

T's Mum,
It is such a hard place to be in I know-I'm there too...

My little girl also doesn't know her daddy and i don't think that will ever change!!

My fear is that when she grows up wll she feel like she missed out on a huge chunk of her life because there is no daddy on hte scene??? I also have issues in realationships- and in picking the right man! Apparently I have "if you are unavailable but able to lie really well, i'm your woman asI am gulible and trust you too easily" written on my forehead :(

but i hope that one day I will find an honest and charming man out there- one who will treat my daughter and I well and hopefully will accept her as his own! If not- I know that Imogen has men around her (substitute uncles ;) ) who will show her that men can be trusted, and will give her the influences i want her to be shown!!

Try not to worry to much its when we are not looking that the man of our dreams will walk into our lives- and plus you have to kiss a few toads to get to your prince (my mummy told me that) :D

[kiara]

Shannan: That is said to me too about the toads, my boss says it too me. I always make jokes about it though and how many do I have to kiss though. It's funny that you mention about your sign I used to think mine said "Losers and cheaters here I am" I always asked my friends to turn of my neon sign too cause I was so over it. I'm not in the same boat as you yet but I will be in a very similar one soon. I'm not due to next year but I will be single but the father wants to know the child. I find this weird since it was a planned pregnancy and now can't commit to me?? Wonder why women get confused.

I do also know there not all the same. My sister has a loving a devoted husband so I know they exist I just need to find them.

[tyler's mum]

thank you for your replys, its nice to know im not the only one feeling like this, you have all said some great stuff for me to think about, i guess its hard to stop thinking of the past and move forward, tyler will never know her dad, and hopefully one day i do met a man who will love her like his own, i just have to let him in when or if i ever met him, because i dont think my heart could take any more letdowns, i konw im only 25 and still pretty young, but in some ways i feel to old to play the dating game anymore or more to the point just fed up, tyler is my heart and it just so amazing how much i love her, i just wanna do right by her.... kiara hope all go's well with you and having bub....