What do I say???????

[werdxela]

I just found out today thats Drew's father, J, and his partner, B, are due to have a baby girl 10days before I am due :eek: This will be J's third child (he had a relationship between when we split and when he met B that resulted in a son, A)
My problem lies with the fact that although A is nearly 3 I havent told Drew he has a half brother. I told him J had another son but at 6 i dont think he quite understood that makes A his brother. Drew doesnt see J and I dont think there is a chance he will met A (his mum has gone very religious and wont let J's family have anything to do with A :crying: ) and I think Drew will be upset knowing he has a brother he might never see. Now with the bubba coming I am wondering if i have made the right decision. Drew has two brothers and is about to have 2 sisters :eek: and i dont know what i should say to Drew.

Do I leave it alone and keep with the "J has a son and daughter"?
or do i explain they are his siblings too?

[kristy J]

hi there this is a huge issue. my inlaws are had similar issue.
they told the boys age 4 & 6 that they have other brothers but with a different mummy and when they grow up they might want to be friends. for now the boys accepted this. at 4 & 6 they don't really understand enough to care.

[mz sv6]

i don't have any advice i can give but my DP has 2 boys from his previous relationship with his x gf they have 2 boys who are 7 & 4 yrs old and my DP still hasnt told his boys that they have a baby half brother (DS whos almost 5months old) they dont even really know who i am they think that me and DP are just work friends (will dont live toegther yet) he just doesn't no how to tell they boys about me and most about DS he doesnt think the boys will take it to good so for now he is not sayin anything to them

[BlueEyedGirl]

My friend asked me this recently as my ex has just had another baby with his new gf.

Her parents split, and she didn't find out her dad had had more children until they were all older. She felt like she had missed out on a bond with her half siblings, and resented her father for not telling her about them.

I really can't see DD having any contact with her father so am at crossroads as to whether telling DD. The gf wouldn't give me the time of day, so really can't see her being okay with DD meeting the baby.

[pegasus]

I've been tossing around the idea about how to talk to my two kids about their half brother and sister. We are having the older two over less at the moment (may change in the future, but who knows?) and although I have photos up and say - "that's L" and "that's J" and DS picks up some things and says -"J's" or "L's" I don't think he has any concept that these other two kids are his brother and sister.

My mother grew up as an only child till she was 17 when she got a letter from some one signed "your sister C". Quite a shock, to find out her father had two other families (6 other children), but had died the week she was born, so all she'd known was her and her mum. She said it was all good as she hadn't known about the other six, but I don't want my son and daughter to think I've kept the other two from them if they never choose to come again to stay with us.

I guess I'll just answer questions as they arise, but until then, I'll keep the photos out and talk about them as they are.

My advice would be - get some photos if you can. Talk about the other kids if the subject comes up and see how it goes. I don't really know - I play a lot of this parenting/step parenting stuff by ear - deal with it as it arises:D