Im at a loss...

[bekkyboo]

I just dont know what to do anymore.

I was blessed with a beautiful baby who adored his sleep. Would self settle and never really had any problems.

Things are different now.

Garrett wont sleep in his cot unless he is put in there asleep. If he sees you leave the room, god help you. He used to go to sleep on the bottle (before that the boob) and it was easy, but now he wont. I have to snuggle him in tight to me and rock him to sleep.

I dont have major issues with this, other than i dont want to be rocking at 2 yr old to sleep. He already weighs 10.6kg, so its already killing me (ive put my back outr twice since this all started).

He is clingy through the day too. He gets mad if he realised im not in the room, or in his line of sight anymore - do you think this is connected? He has never been a clingy baby (at least not clingy to me, his dad maybe..)

We did try CC, but it seemed to make him worse and harder to settle not better. And i can never stick to it anyway... :rolleyes:

It used to only be a problem at night, so we thought i was becasue he knew we were still up, but now its every time, including after his 3-4am feed when the house is dead and we are asleep...


Any ideas on whats going on, or other methods i could try to get him down?

[moomoosmummy]

hey dont really have any pointers just wanted to say good luck. i think the clingy thing is normal though dd didnt care for ages but around 8 months she got real clingy i cant even cook in the kitchen cause she winges i know how it feels, as far as the sleeping thing she allways been pretty good wit that:fingerscrossed:
hope you dont get to many sleepless nights:sleeping: :wave:

[*~alegna~*]

Hi Bek

I have heard the babies around G's age get a new sence od independance that sometimes cam scare them a little bit. They can move around more & AWAY from you & that can upset them a ittle hence the clingyness...? Maybe?

[bekkyboo]

thanks for the input so far :)

That makes some sence ang. The clingy started when he learnt to roll off his tum too, so now he moves all around the loungeroom... But the sleeping came in when he learnt to get up on all fours... :detective: hmmmmm

[BabyJoy]

Hi,
Firstly, how old is your little boy? Does he have his own comforter - a blanket, teddy, dummy?
And are you now relying on mostly rocking to get him to sleep? Does he seem scared of the cot, or just clingy for you/dad? Do you ever co-sleep?

I think I have some ideas for you, but not sure if they will suit you son....

[bekkyboo]

He is 6 months.
He does have a blanket teddy thingo, rejected the dummy awhile ago
yes, or at least snuggle in close and patting his bum.
Think its more of a clingy problem, as when he wakes up he seems fine that he is in the cot.
Have co-slept in the past, but not so much now cause he likes to hit and kick and such. Last two mornings tho this is how we have got him to go back to sleep....

[BabyJoy]

Well, I have some ideas, but I'm no expert on the subject, so I hope they help... I really recommend reading The No-Cry Sleep Solution by Elizabeth Pantley and The Baby Whisperer by Tracy Hogg... both advocate no-cry solutions and look at all the different factors that I mentioned before. I have found them invaluable!

Firstly, your bedtime routine has to be set in stone and at the same time every night. Keep the noise down, the lights dim, and you have to be patient and stay with him for quite some time even after he goes to sleep... try just keeping your hand on him after you stop patting. The main aim is to teach him that it's okay to go to sleep because Mummy is not far away. Stay by his cot and pat, shush, sing, whatever helps to calm him. If rocking is the only thing that works at first, try putting him down when he calms... if he cries again, pick him up, and try again. This pick up-put down method works for older babies (about eight months) so it might not suit you and Garrett. Perhaps try putting on some soft lullaby music... this helps my daughter immensely. Also use key words EVERY time you want him to sleep (this includes day naps). We say "sleep now, night night" every time and she now knows when we say that, it's time for bed. Perhaps use a night light because I found at that age, my daughter was quite scared of the dark, especially when she woke in the middle of the night. The other thing is that with some babies at a certain age patting makes them more alert... it stimulates instead of soothes, so as I suggested, just leave a hand on him... rub his tummy or stroke his head. Try something different to soothe to see what works.
It will take some time but don't give up... just give him lots of love and guidance and he will realise he can sleep without you after all. This is where the comforter comes in... make sure he has it with him at bedtime so he can use this to help him sleep. If it smells like you, that helps a lot. My daughter has a singlet that I used to wear to bed. Thankfully, she is still attached to it even after washing!
Good luck! :hugs: :hugs: :hugs:

[pookiesossige]

I don't have much to say, Bekky, except that when it comes to worrying if what they need to get to sleep at 6 months will be the same at 2... Don't stress. Really. There are many, many of us who rock or feed our babies to sleep until they are toddlers and you know what? They move on when they are ready and you never look back. Ronan was 16 months old when I decided it was time for the feeding and extended holding to sleep needed to end so that DD could share in some of my attention. Because I had met Ronan's need for comfort and feeding as he drifted off for sooo long, the transition was super-easy.

I just wanted to say that to try and allieviate some of the guilt and pressure we can feel as mothers that we have to stop creating beautiful, comforting sleep associations now as 'that's all they'll want later'. Do whatever works hun- I hope that you find out asap what that is. :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs:

[reAllytee]

Bek i have the big baby too & while it kills my back i still rock him some nites Boof is now 21mths & weighs 15kgs+ :o
Have you got a chair in his room or one that you could use to rock him in ? This has always been my saviour.
Also i even found some nites he was happy if i just sat by the cot patting him & " sshhhhing " he just wanted to know i was there & that i wasnt leaving him.
I agree with making some sort of routine & sticking to it but be prepared like in my case where i found that Boof will now no longer sleep anywhere else but his cot. He used to sleep in my arms, on the lounge, in his pram or stroller, anywhere but as soon as i started the quiet time before bed etc & " time for ni-ni's " closing the blinds etc in his room that ended that. He is a good sleeper now compared to how he was & every nite will now ask for " milka " then cuddles with me & daddy has a litttle play then say " ni-ni's " goes over to the stairs ready to go to bed.
They go through these stages & while its hard you will get through it :hugs:

[bekkyboo]

thanks girls :)

We have a set routine at night for his naps, and although his day naps are set in time i still do the same thing putting him down. We put him down, turn on his musical mobile, give him a kiss on his forehead/cheek and say night night, love you. We then leave the room. If he becomes distressed we come back and sit beside the cot so not really in his view, and place a hand through the bars on his chest or belly. This used to work fine, but it now seems to not settle him at all, and he screams louder until we pick him up. I tried last night to rock him to calm then put him down, but he screamed as soon as i put him into the cot.

I have found that i can sit down with him and just snuggle him in and lightly bounce my knee, so at least that saves my back alittle.

Em - thankyou so much for your post :hugs: you made my night.

tonight we were out, and same thing happened even without the cot. It came time for bed (we kept eveything the same except he would go into his pram not the cot) He still fought it tooth and nail... But he was awake when we brought him in from the car, and Jason put him in his cot, and he seems to have gone down.... Oh, Jason and I take turns in putting G to bed normally, so i dont think its a case of Mummy dont leave me. But really dont leave me full stop.

The more i think about ang's post, the more it makes sence. He seems to be very clingy to us lately - in every aspect, and it started when the sleeping problems did.

Shannon - thanks for those tips on the books, ill have to have a look into them.

Ally- I think you may be right about the bum patting... and thankyou for pointing out its a stage ... PHEW!!!

:hugs: :kiss: To all

[Lambie]

:hugs: :hugs: Bek...know you could use them!

I can't really offer any advice as I do "that other form of settling"...dare not say it;)

I must admit that I have always been a tad jealous of G's sleeping, so :fingerscrossed: it's just a phase for you hun!

[bekkyboo]

hehehhe... Thanks Son. Dont worry, we tried that other form of settling, and at this stage of his life it makes him worse... so now we need to try soemthing else.

NEWS! This morning after his 4am feed i got him back to sleep without rocking and he didnt cry once. I just let him co-sleep with me a i had my hand on his belly. took him a good 30-40min to go to sleep :rolleyes: but he did without me getting him there. Only problem.. . He only slept for an hour :(

[bekkyboo]

All good things must come to an end :(

Just had a horror for the morning nap. I gave up when i was so mad i was seeing red, put him in the cot and went and had my shower. I cant hear him there. I calmed down, but he didnt. Took less than a minute of cuddles then to get him down. I spose it just shows that CC really doesnt work on him...

But i really need some sanity...

[bekkyboo]

Well tonight wasnt too bad. We just let him play around with his bottle, couple of sips, and play. When he got sooky i nursed him the rest of the bottle and let him snuggle in.


No crying tonight...

[pookiesossige]

How did you go last night, Bekky?
I ended up giving DH the boot and having Ariene in bed with me (Daddy does not do co-sleeping well, but mummy does!). It was the only thing that was going to work for us last night. Oh I can't handle crying!

[draught]

I am coming in a little late to say that it is really common for babies to start having sleeping issues at 6 months (I used to moderate the sleep section on here and cannot tell you how many hundreds of babies on this forum have been through exactly what you are going through - mine included.) Each family finds it's own solution - it really comes down to what you can cope with, but wanted you to know that it is very normal!