The "How To Raise Kids" Guide - just add water???

[MammaMia]

I had an interesting incident with my little boy. In the interests of preserving his dignity, I won't go into details - but let's just say, between new friends, that he did something in the naughty stakes that left me dumbfounded.

I was just wondering... where do you go to when you need ideas about how to raise your kids, discipline your kids??

I've lived by Robin Barker but the little fellow has passed her target age group. Christopher Green is good too. But I really think each parent should be given a book at the birth of each child ... "How to Raise (insert Child's name) - a complete Guide to their Universe".

Has anyone tried the Triple P program? Have you had other parents give you words of wisdom that have helped you in the tricky stakes of raising your kids?

I'm listening....

[WeThree]

hi mamma mia, i too often struggle with this with my 8 yr old, he has been doing some naughty things at school lately, lyeing and even stealing!:eek: im at a loss as to what to do, i have tried the softly softly friend approach, have tried the super strict, put the fear of God in him approach, yet im still recieving detention notifications etc. i dont want to make his life a misery and i dont want to make him feel he cant come to me with things for fear of getting in trouble but im not sure how to handle it. he is a lovely little boy, and his teachers are just as puzzled as me by his jekyll/hyde personality. anyway i have been of absolutely no use at all to you, but it feels good to share that with someone on the same boat!(not that i think its good that you are going through it, but, oh you know what i mean!!) does anyone else have some tips for discipline/dealing with older children, ones that are passed the toddler stage, but not yet teens?

lol loved your guide comment, yes it would be great if each child came with their own personal handbook!!

[MammaMia]

Thanks! It is good to realise that other kids are acting up at times too.

Sometimes it seems that everyone else's children are sailing along merrily, only stopping to politely chat with strangers and give up their seats on the buses for old ladies.

I think my little bloke is acting up because we have a relatively new baby, but even still he is lavished with attention and love. And fundamentally, like your boy, he is a lovely kid.

But being a parent is definitely a challenge! I'm sure most parents love their kids dearly and are doing their best to get it right ... if only the answers were so simple.

And you are right, it is good to talk about it! Makes me feel that I'm not the only mother with multiple personalities as I test out the softly, softly approach vs the You're in the Army now, Son approaches.

[Rell]

Hi mamma mia
I did triple P when my DDwas 2 and found it really great. Not only did we learn things from the teacher we also learnt things from others in the group. The other thing about it I liked was that my husband and I got to sit down with out DD and discuss our parenting together so were both then able to be consistant.
I also like the Dr Green books.

Good luck

[carls]

I heard of a good book called "Raising Boys" - an old colleague of mine raved about it. Does anyone know the author?

Can anyone recommend good books for a mum to be of a boy and, has anyone read the Supernanny book?

My parents always said "you didnt come with a manual" - isn't it high time someone wrote one??!!! :)

[flower]

Raising Boys is by Stephen Biddulph....Its super that book.

Also: Off the subject..Mamma Mia...why does your post count not change?? It seems to be stuck on 5?

O's mom.

[MammaMia]

It does seem to be stuck on 5 - damn that interfering housework etc. Just seemed to take over the day before I knew it!

Will post suitably contrite replies in an effort to keep up with the fast pace of Bubhub.

[MonMic]

Hi,

My DH and I did triple P about 5 months ago and it has transformed our family.

He comes from a soft family where they let the kids do stuff cause its easier than stopping them, or they beg and whinge at the kids! and I came from a mum who was stricter and just said no to everything on principle.

Anyway to get to the point when our DD started needing some discipline our relationship nearly fell apart as we argued constantly about how to care for her.

Triple P was cheap $90 for both of us to go for 4 weeks, and jam packed full of practical things to help every day. Its similar to Supernanny in that it uses 'quiet time' as one of the methods but also does so much more.

I would highly reccommend it to anyone.

We did it through our local Community health centre.

M.

[MammaMia]

Thanks for the Triple P recommendation. I will enroll us asap!

[Rell]

in QLD triple P is Free!
I didn't relize you had to pay in other states

[MammaMia]

Did you say "free"?

Bless the govt - rare to get something for nothing from them!

Sorry for being so cynical on a Saturday morning. Just popped out of my tapping fingers before I knew it.

[mimi]

Triple P is supposed to be good - though I have no first hand experiences or anecdotes to offer. :)
I am not a fan of Dr Green or the Supernanny but I do have some other good books -

"7000 Days ..." by Reinhard Ronnebeck [ABC publication] A small, easy-to-read book with lots of practical advice. http://www.allenandunwin.com/Bookseller/product.asp?ISBN=0733310761 was one book seller I found just now ... no doubt you can get it wherever! An interview with Ronnebeck on ABc can be heard if you go to http://www.abc.net.au/centralqld/stories/s683646.htm

"Children are People Too" by Dr Louise Porter [East Street Publications] - excellent book ... and also has practical tips.

And if you have time to listen [or to read the transcript] Dr Porter gave an excellent talk a few years ago and it was recorded by the ABC - go to http://www.abc.net.au/rn/talks/lm/stories/s441942.htm

good luck! :)

[WeThree]

It does seem to be stuck on 5 - damn that interfering housework etc. Just seemed to take over the day before I knew it!

Will post suitably contrite replies in an effort to keep up with the fast pace of Bubhub.

mmm, mamm mia, still dont know if your posting enough replies yet, must work faster!!! lol,

mimi, good to see you, havnt seen you much in a while, glad to see you havnt left us, i always enjoy reading your posts :)

[mimi]

mimi, good to see you, havnt seen you much in a while, glad to see you havnt left us, i always enjoy reading your posts :) Why thank you, Erin! :o Lovely to see your name up there too.

No I haven't left! Just trying hard to stay away for periods of time, so that I can get all that STUFF that needs to be done, finished ... not having a great deal of luck on that ... as I keep being draaaaaaawn back to bubhub by that invisible string!! LOL :D
and even logging out doesn't seem to work - as I stillhear the emails arrive ... and just HAVE to come and check!! Seems the only thing to do is to turn the computer OFF .....

mmmmmmm NAH!! I'll put up with it!!
:)

[MammaMia]

Thanks for those links, Mimi. I'll check them out when the house is all quiet for the night.

[LucyE]

I have to second Louise Porter's Children are People Too. I had a hard time tracking down a copy but it is well worth it. Steve Biddulp's range of books is pretty good too, I especially like More Secrets to Happy Children. There's also a great book called The Five Love Languages of Children which can really help you communicate with your child better. I don't have any books by Alfie Kohn but have read numerous of his articles and I like his work. I'm more drawn to the attachment parenting/gentle discipline approach (which does not mean I put up with 'bad' behaviour) so I have a bias against Dr Chris Green etc work.

As to the individualised 'How to Raise Kids' Guide, I think it's a great idea :D But until that magical day arrives, I think there needs to be an unbiased summary/guide book for all new/expectant parents to read which covers ALL the main theories and the most sensible, medically sound way to implement them so that the parents can find something that resonates with them. For example, although I wouldn't personally every use CC I respect someone elses decision to do so. However, it makes me sad that there are people who go against current medical advice and start it on a child less than 6mths old where it is more CIO than 'controlled'. Sorry for my rant, I hope the book suggestions help.

[mimi]

I have to second Louise Porter's Children are People Too. I had a hard time tracking down a copy but it is well worth it.
I didn't realise it would be so hard to get! For those keen for the book, you can puchase it direct from
Louise Porter, PhD
Small Poppies SA
P.O. BOX 750
McLaren Vale SA 5171

... and no problem with the rant, LucyE ;)


MammaMia - hope your house is quiet and you are getting time for those links!! :)