Scared

[Kirst]

It's amazing what scares me.

Now just to be clear, I'm not after any 'it will be okays', I just need to vent my feelings, and am hoping that my doing so that someone else can relate.

I am feeling so scared right now. We have been trying for this baby for the better part of a year, and we have found out so early. I mean, it's still possible to get my period it's that early, and I am so scared that I will.

I end up analysing my body evey 5 monutes. My boobs still feel full, but are not really sore. Last night I wasn't tired like I was the nights prior. But I had a sleep during the day yesterday.....could that have helped. And I'm not tired now. I had stomach pain last night, but it was more like indigestion higher up than cramps lower down.

I'm hating this right now, and I should be loving it. I keep going to the toilet all the time to check that any discharge is not red.

I need to go out and buy some HPTs just to have here so that I can check when I get anxious. And of course there's the added bonus that if you stress there's a bigger chance of something going wrong.

What a day! And it hasn't even started really!

[GraceUnhearing]

good luck sweet
:fingerscrossed: for you :)

[AngelGirl]

Kirst,

I can totally relate. I only found out last Wednesday that I was pg and I was a tad over 4 weeks. I've had on and off cramping since about 5 DPO. It worried me a first but after doing some research I realised that this was normal. Every single day, if I think I'm feeling a bit 'wet' down there, I rush to the bathroom to check that there is no red. I think that the worry of m/c is in the back of all our minds. I don't think that I'll be totally comfortable until I reach the 12 week mark. I actually feel content when I'm experiencing symtoms as I think "Ok my body is doing what is supposed to!".

[deb1234]

hi girls,

i know exactly how you feel. just remember we are all here for each other and we'll get through to the 12 week mark together. i'm counting on the time to go fast over christmas and new years and then there'll only be a few weeks left.

:wizard:

[niesl_bug]

Hi Kirst / Deb / Angel

I am doing EXACTLY the same thing - jeepers, I thought it was just me!
I too am rushing off to the loo everytime I feel something wet down there and keep waiting to see red on the toilet paper. Everytime I feel tightness in my tummy or a slight cramp I wonder what is happening.
This is our first time so I don't know what to expect / feel either.
I just cannot wait to get to the 12 week mark and still have 7 weeks to go!
I can't say anything to make you feel better, but I can tell you that you're not alone!
I went for a shoulder massage the other day and have been eating really well and reading and that is helping me a bit.

Sending you lots of :hugs:

[AngelGirl]

i'm counting on the time to go fast over christmas and new years and then there'll only be a few weeks left.
:wizard:

This is the only year that I've wanted Christmas and New Year to hurry up and be over with!!

[deb1234]

haha yeah me too!! my 12 week mark is when we are going back to nz for a wedding, so i'll be able to tell people then. :smiliedance: :smiliedance:
maybe we should make another calendar for the 12 week mark? so it hurries up!!
mine is the 20th Jan.

[chicken]

Kirst - I also know what you're going through. I'm now almost 6 weeks and when I get to the end of another day without seeing any blood, I have a huge sense of relief. But then I just worry about something happening the following day.

I had a m/c about 6 months ago at around 5 weeks, so I think I'm probably more paranoid than most, because I don't even know if my body can carry a pregnancy yet. And as its my first, I don't know what symptoms are normal/not normal either. I think we'll all just be happy to get through the next few weeks and then maybe we can start enjoying it, as we should be.

[deb1234]

yes we should be enjoying it!! :smiliedance:
there is nothing we can do anyway, so no use worrying about it (easier said than done). :hugs:

[Kirst]

Chicken, I remember your m/c, and if it's any consolation...I don't know what to expect, and I've already been through this once! You just forget the early weeks, coz so much happens afterwards that makes the first few weeks a blur.

Deb, you make a great point. One that I made with myself around lunchtime. What will be will be, and the more I stress over it, the more likely something abd will happen. I truly beleive that if it's not meant to be, then cest la vie. I would rather it go sour in the 1st trimester than the last.

I know that I will always have a gorgeous girl to give all of my love to.

It's amazing what a day of shopping can do to clear the brain, isn't it?

[AngelGirl]

It's amazing what a day of shopping can do to clear the brain, isn't it?

:laughing: love it!

well I'm off to sit down in front of the TV with a glass of non-alcoholic wine (grape juice basically!!)

Night night xxx

[ETsMum]

Hi Kirst / Deb / Angel

I am doing EXACTLY the same thing - jeepers, I thought it was just me!
I too am rushing off to the loo everytime I feel something wet down there and keep waiting to see red on the toilet paper. Everytime I feel tightness in my tummy or a slight cramp I wonder what is happening.

Sending you lots of :hugs:


Thanks for posting this girls... I'm so relieved that I am not alone and I've been through it before!!!!!!! (I even got out of bed in the middle of the night to "check" last night :o )
I don't think I was this stressed last time.

[borntobemummy]

I have been like that this whole pregnancy. I took so many hpts, even up to 11 weeks:o it's good now that I can feel the baby moving, but I still worry when I don't feel it for a while or any little cramp etc..
So, just sharing that you're not alone in feeling the way you do:hugs:

[Pebbles]

Hi Girls

I just wanted to say I too am feeling extremely scared. I still have cramps which is really bothering me. Everybody says its normal but after TTC for so long I dont know what I would do if I lost my little one.
DH has already told everybody we know! He is so excited and everytime I say "Babe what if something happens?" he gets angry with me for being so negative!
He has even nicknamed our little baby 'Peanut'!

[livismum]

Kirst I now what you mean about forgetting what the first trimester brings, I feel the same way. I am a little more anxious this time around as I had a large cyst(15cm) removed from my right ovary when I had my DD by c/s. They only discovered it after they pulled her out. It didn't show up on any scans so I'm a bit wary about any pains I have this time around.
This is why bubhub is sooooo fantastic. We can all relate to each other and offer each other advice and support. Thanks to all the bubhub members for all their support. :hugs:

[Pebbles]

I agree. BubHub has been so great helping me through my TTC journey and now I am pregnant and scared at least I know there is other women out there that feel the same way I do. I just read Renee's post about her m/c and I am even more scared now. After TTC for so long I dont know what I would do if I lost my little Peanut now. I am trying not to stress as that would just make the chances of something terrible happening even more likely but I am just so scared. Every time I get a little cramp or pain I run to the toilet to see if I am bleeding. I just cant wait to get to 3 months so I can relax a bit! 1st Feb is apparently when my 12 weeks ends so I am counting down the days!

[helenmac]

Hi Ladies,

Len - I'm constanly buying HPT's and checking to see if my possitive line has got darker. - I'm so worried that there may be a problem.

Pebbles - I'm exactly the same. It's so hard not to be negative cause every little twinge I wonder if it's normal or not. At the same time I'm protecting myself by not getting too excited, just in case.

I'm finding that I'm much more relaxed now as I had an accupunture session today and for the last month I have been meditating for 1 hour every night.

Roll on 1st Feb hey Pebbles!!!!

Helen x

[Pebbles]

Absolutely Helen - 1st Feb is going to be a happy day!

1st Feb countdown - 51 days to go....

[Pebbles]

I just popped into the TTC threads to say 'Hi' to all the girls I got to know so well and I was shocked to read about 'Shorty's m/c. She fell pregnant a few weeks before me and she supported the rest of us even after she found out that she had a BFP. She was 8 weeks when she had the m/c. I am even more scared now, actually I am petrified. I have never had a m/c before and I dont know what I would do if I ever did. How do you deal with such a terrible loss? I know I shouldnt be stressing myself out about this stuff but it seems so much more common than I ever imagined. She was 4 weeks infront of me which means I have a long wait before I am out of danger. Do the rest of you girls feel this way...? If so how do you get it out of your minds? And how do you sleep at night? I just know I am gonna lay awake tonight thinking about poor Shorty and the other girls I have gotten to know like Renee that have had m/c's as well. :gloomy:

[Kirst]

Honestly sweetheart, you just have to understand that "whatever will be will be". If something does happen to go wrong, it's nothing that you DID. It's just not meant to be. There's nothing that you can do right now.

I know that's a real b!tch to swallow, but I live with the thoughts that if anything happens to go wrong with my pregnancy, that I'd rather it happen now than in 20 weeks.

I had a gf lose her 1 year old earlier this year. That scares me more than a m/c at the moment.

Isn't it surprising what a week can do? I started this thread, and I feel really calm about things now.

[Pebbles]

I hope I can calm myself down too. Maybe in a week I will feel better too.
You are right loosing a baby at 20 weeks would be so much worse or loosing a child no matter what age would be the worst thing that could happen to a parent. I would die if anything happened to my DS.
Thanks for the support.

[Kirst]

You can always throuw your energies into your DS. That's what I'm trying to do. Keeping DD amused certainly takes my mind off other things. And I'm trying to get off the computer and be more creative.

[manxgirl77]

Hi girls,

Congrats to the August mums! I'm just into 12 weeks now, and I think the last 8 weeks have been some of the most stressful in my life! I was sooo paranoid about m/c even though I've never had one that I know of. Its a bit sobering when you rock up to the Dr's clinic to confirm your BFP and they give you the stats on m/c. Very off-putting to say the least. I was constantly checking for blood (still am!) as I was also sure I felt it all the time. I know now its just the increase in cervical fluid that is normal with pregnancy. I actually had 3 scans by 8 weeks, one at 4 weeks, 6 wks and 8 weeks. First I had a bit of shoulder pain so I convinced myself I had an ectopic pg. Next I had spotting at 6 weeks and was sure I had miscarried. 8 wks was a standard scan. It was reassuring to see the heart beat at 6 weeks, I think I relaxed a little bit after that.

I found the worst thing I was doing was reading too much info and therefore getting worried. My Dr recommended a fantastic book which has really good info and actually says when to go see the Dr asap, and when its ok to just wait til the next appointment. The book is called 'What to expect when expecting'. I think it cost about $40, but it has put my mind at ease so many times in those stressful weeks. I've had a bit of a scan through it, but I mainly just look it up when I get worried.

As you said livismum, fellow bubhubbers are fantastic support, and have certainly helped me through that stressful 1st trimester.

All the best to you all.. :hugs:

[Kirst]

That is a good book, as is "Conception, Pregnancy and Birth" by Dr Miriam Stoppard.