tantrum at 5 wk old?

[rebeccamum]

Hi,

I have a 5 wk old baby girl who seems cranky all the time. She screams when she's hungry so I feed her, then she stops at the middle of it and screams. I wait for a few sec and reoffer, she hungrily takes it then pulls away and screams! She cries when she's hungry, poos, tired...why does she cry so much? She is also very difficult to settle and a catnapper. I try everything I can - rock, pat and cuddle her...put her down on her bed, she looks like she's in deep sleep...5 mins later her eyes wide open again. Sometimes even after a decent sleep, she's still quite upset when she wakes up. I feed, change and play with her and she seems pretty content and happy, then BAM! She bursts out crying out of the blue. I feel like I'm living with a bomb now. Why is she behaving this way? What can I do to make things better?

[WeThree]

hi rebeccamum, first welcome to bubhub, and secondly welcome to the joys of motherhood! your 5 wk old seems pretty normal to me :) she cries because its the only way she has to communicate! she isnt behaving this way on purpose, she may have colic, reflux, be too hot, too cold, there are so many reasons why she could be crying, its your job to find out! unfortunately i know its not that easy, but eventually you will start to distinguish between an im hungry cry, im in pain cry, i want a cuddle cry, im over tired cry etc etc! good on you for caring enough about bubs to make sure everything is ok, and for sure take her to the gp just to make sure everything is ok, remember too though, babies have little personalities too and they are all different, some are very quiet and dont cry much, others have a very vocal opinion on everything! keep us updated on how you get on :)

ps have you got supportive hubby etc, to take over when you need a bit of a break? there is nothing more stressful than a crying baby, and in order to cope the best you can you need people around that understand and will help you (coming to bubhub is a good start! :) )

[Kirky]

Hi Rebeccamum,

CoopsnTilly is right, your bub sounds pretty normal to me. With the feeding thing, she may be pulling away because she has wind and needs to burp, especially if you're bottle feeding. I only say this, as my son used to do the same thing, and still does (he's 6 months old now).

The sleep issue might be a security issue? She may feel safe and content falling asleep in your arms and then when she wakes up and you're not there, she starts to cry. This is perfectly normal.

As Coopsntilly said as well, you will eventually be able to distinguish between her different cries. If you like reading, I can recommend a fantastic book called "Secrets of the Baby Whisperer". I bought this when my son was about 5 weeks old, and it was a gods send.

The biggest thing I learnt from this book is that newborn babies easily become overstimulated, and all they really need in the first few months is lots of cuddles, feeds and sleep. Remember that all she has known for 9 months is your womb, which is dark and warm and quiet. Whenever my son became overstimulated, I would try to recreate this atmosphere (turning off all tv, radio, noise, wrapping, turning off lights etc). It works wonders.

Anyway, good luck with it all and let us know how you progress.

Cheers,

Kirky

[wattle]

I remember week 5 was the toughest for me. Hang in there. I thought it was all too hard that week. It will get better. I promise.

[sugar n spice]

Hi rebecca

i am lucky that my two babies have been good sleepers and eaters both times round but with ds#2 who is now 10mnths. When he was about 6wks i think he cried during his feed which he really wanted. I knew he was windy and while i got burps out it didn't seem to be enought. My dr said that colic start to settle by 6 mnths and she was right. My baby on cried with the bottle and bedtime as he was windy. My dr suggested infacol wind drops, you can buy them at the supermarket and that helps. You just add a few drops i think it was into the bottle of milk when preparing. Good luck i understand how distressing a crying baby can be sometimes you need to step back take a breather and go into another room for a minute then come back and settle her.

[JanetF]

Sounds like a normal baby to me but it can be scary when you're not sure what to do for them. There's a brilliant book called "100 ways to calm the crying" that would really help you. This link is about socalled "fussy" babies and might have some pointers for you too.
http://askdrsears.com/html/5/T051200.asp

It's important to remember that baby's needs are very basic - feed, hold, change, hold some more. A baby who is attended as soon as they cry, cries a lot less and gets less upset, so that's good to know. A baby sling of some kind will also help you get on with your day while still having your baby close. Sling babies cry less too. Crying is one of the only ways a newborn can communicate so even if you can't soothe her tears away with the breast (always the best place to start because boobs are about comfort just as much as food!) you can still hold her while she expresses herself. If you think your baby may have some colic, there are tips in the link I put above to help you decide. It's also nice to have a walk outside with bubs in your arms or a sling and just being away from the house can help you cope even if bubs is crying. Hugs to you, the early days of parenting are a very steep learning curve but they're really very short. Her first birthday will be here before you know it, trust me! :)

[rebeccamum]

Thanks you guys! It's good to hear that my girl is normal although I think there might be something wrong with her a bit. I mean, she's fed, changed and not overtired so there's gotta be a reason why she's still crying so much. I always cuddle her, wrap her up, walk around the house singing to her but she still cries. Maybe she has wind and that makes her uncomfortable, that should explain why she cries? I just gave her Infacol this evening hopefully this might help...finger crossed.

It's great to have support from people. Oh i have a supportive hubby and my mum even comes from overseas to help out! I didn't know much about babies. I had never been around babies and always felt I wouldn't do a good job. After a long and difficult labour following with breastfeeding complications, I just hit rock bottom. It's a wonder I escape postnatal depression (or maybe it just hasn't occured to me yet)

Anyway, I'll try all things you advise here. BTW I just moved to western Sydney and don't know a good GP in the area. Does anyone live in Pendle Hill, Parramatta, Wentworthville ?

[JanetF]

Hugs to you, mama, sounds like a complex journey so far. How about trying your local ABA group? They'd be able to offer really good support as well as a local GP who would support your bf too. *hugs* Keep us posted on your progress! :)

[Snugglepot]

Hi Rebeccasmum, My DS was exactly the same as your bub, crying all the time from about 7 weeks, I just knew he was not right, he was like a different baby to the first 6 weeks. My MCH Nurse diagnosed him with silent reflux. You could actually see him swallowing back a bit of sick and then crying his heart out with pain. It was very random as well, no pattern to the crying etc, that is why I did not think it was a medical problem to start with.

It may be worth checking this out, other than that I do agree with the others, it just takes time to sort out what cry is what etc. I felt much more confident after reading loads of books from the library (the baby whisperer is great) and with time, after week 8 it much easier. I am sure it will for you too.

[Imogensmum]

Maybe just maybe your little one is very windy? Might help to have a arm bath with them- submege her upright until her sholders(ie standing IYKWIM) thatalways helped imy to bring up any hidden wind!

And with the sleeping- I put a radio under Imy's crib! Sound helped her to sleep more soundly!!!

The first 3 months are said to be the hardest- so your smack bang in the minddle of it all! She soulds like a normal little bub- just letting you know shes around!1!

[rebeccamum]

Good news guys! Rebecca was fantastic last night and this morning. Usually this time of the day I'll still be rocking her to sleep in vain, but she has been great since she woke up at 7am and she's sleeping right now. Maybe that infacol really fixed the problem..I don't know, it's still early days. I start to really enjoy her now and I got a reward this morning - she smiled for the first time! I know, I know, she's windy but this is a real smile :) She got up 4 times last night but I don't mind getting up frequently if she's happy! I could get up 10 times just to see she's smiling and not crying.

Quick question though, how long should I continue giving her infacol? If I stop it, will the symptom come back again?

Mums are fantastic!!!

[JanetF]

I'm glad you're both feeling happier. I know nothing about infacol but there are lots of difference kinds of solutions so you could investigate those too and have a back up. Happy parenting! :)

[Heids]

Hi Rebecca,

So glad thing are going better for you both !

I completely agree with Rachel ( Bride83 ) about the wind and Infacol........ My bub is now 7 weeks and he had exactally the same symptoms at 5 weeks as your baby girl; and I was getting to my tither with poor sleep and worry etc ( first bub here to ). I tried Infantsfriend which didn't help at all...... then I found the Infacol last Sunday and every feed since has been 98% !

I haven't missed a feed in a week... am not sure when and whether to either ??? I think I'll just keep going as he seems more than happy now too, smiling and playing inbetween feeds, I may try once next week when we are both nice and ready for the challange :) ( He had a Inguinal Hernia Opp on Tues so all I wanted to do this week was make him feel nice and comfortable at all times. )

Hopefully its happy sailing now.... As I have heard by about 8/10/12 weeks bubs shouldn't need it any more and hopefully be able to burp by themselves... I actually went out and bought another bottle which should last till then just incase I run out and couldn't find it when need be!

Hugs Heids xox

[sasholi]

Hello there.

I am so glad you are feeling better now! I just wanted to let you know that I totally understand what it feels like to have a baby just cry and cry and you don't know what to do about it! I had a very VERY colicky baby who would even cry when being cuddled and cuddled. It is extremely exhausting.

It is wonderful to have a very helpful husband. I remember week 5 being the absolute hardest for me, then at 7 weeks again. And truly, after week 8 it slowly got better!

Congrats on the smiling! It is the most wonderful experience.

I agree with Janet. Try a sling for your bubs if she has her really so called "fussy" moments. They are absolutely great. I used "hug a bub" and it was awesome (i still use mine now for walks with my little heffa 9kg 7 1/2 month old...)

Have a wonderful weekend!

[catnapjack]

Hi there,

I have posted recently under the settling and reflux colic sections as I have recently gone through a very difficult time but seem to be coming out of a very tricky phase. Jack is now 4 months old and needed 2 weeks at Torrens House (like Tressilian) to establish a routine of feed, play and sleep. Baby crankiness I believe comes alot from lack of sleep. Im sure that interupted sleep affects their mood as much as it can affect ours.

I found that a routine that included at least one and a half hours of playtime followed by settling helped teach Jack ways to fall asleep (keeping him asleep is my big day drama though ) Since he has been sleeping more, I find him less grizzly and an absolute joy to be around.

It has taken me what feels like a long time to enjoy my baby. Well done on what you have acheived in such a short time already.

[catnapjack]

Forgot to write what I initially meant to !! Infacol has worked wonders with my son (4 months) I spoke to our paediatrician and pharmacist about effects or continued use and they both said it is safe as it is not actually absorbed by the body therefore it is my choice when to stop or reduce. I tried to reduce by giving it at every 2nd feed but he woke again in his sleep with wind pain. Ive decided to keep going for the time being. :)

[rebeccamum]

Thanks a lot! After being so excited by the huge change, things fell back to where it was again yesterday but this time I was calmer :o Bub didn't sleep so well yesterday and puked a lot. She puked after almost every feed, even hours after feeds. I know it's all normal for babies to puke but I hate looking at it. She sometimes cries after puking but I'm not sure if it's because of the puke or she's just cranky. Tried "Sounds for silence" CD yesterday, sadly to say it didn't make much different. Putting her in a sling, again didn't quite work..she just hated it. I'm not sure if it's all because of wind so I still give her infacol (she farts a lot even before she had it though, is she really windy?) I also believe that her crankiness's caused by lack of sleep. Some days she sleeps well (like today), some days she doesn't. Oh well maybe I just have to make peace with that. Mostly she sleeps heaps better at night than during the daytime. I did the feed-play-sleep method, it doesn't quite work. Not sure if I didn't do it right...any advice?

I'm feeling much better and more confident these days though. I know it's probably just a rough patch. :)

[catnapjack]

Hi rebeccamum,

ALL the behavior you describe sounds like reflux. I would speak to a doctor as there are medicines out there that can make a huge difference and some more conservative management strategies. I'll be happy to let you know everything I do to manage Jacks reflux. :)

[Heids]

Hi Rebecca,

Have you ever though of investing in a little baby swing... Brandon sleeps well of a night but lately during the day he seems to be fighting it....... A girlfriend of mine lent me hers and only when he is really upset do I put him in it with his dummy which works wonders. It is also mean't to be good for any extra wind left bub has left as they are in an upright position.

These are what I mean but you can get a smaller cheaper version from Target or Kmart for around $60

http://www.babiesgalore.com.au/show_product_search.php?searchtype=category&categoryid=39

http://www.babyco.com.au/catalog/search.asp?s=swing&x=5&y=13


Hugs Heids :D

[Snugglepot]

Hi Rebeccasmum,

I agree with Catnapjack, she sounds like she has reflux. It is random, they can chuck hours after a meal and not much consoles them. I carry Kyle tummy down in my arms, the pressure seems to help. I would see your MCH or Doc to get some answers/help.

Good luck.

[rebeccamum]

I suspect if she has reflux too but will wait until speak to my paed on monday. Very frustrating as I can't get the booking until 1 dec. (how can one be THAT busy??) I personally prefer not to use any medications unless that's the last resource. Catnapjack, if you have any strategies you could tell me it'd be much appreciated.

I bought a hammock from Amby Hammock www.babyhammocks.com and put her in upright position, she still pukes a bit (actually she once projectile vomited when she was in it). She doesn't seem to be very upset when she pukes so I'm not sure if I should do anything about it. I myself probably had reflux when I was a baby too. The only time my mum could feed me was when I was asleep otherwise there were projectile vomitting (they were huge!! she said she needed to have a shower everytime she tried to feed me). She didn't do anything about it as the doctor said there's nothing wrong about me. It stopped after 3 months so maybe I'll have to follow the same footsteps?? Oh well i might try to speak with the nurse at childhood centre first.

[catnapjack]

Hi again,

When Jack was going through the worst of his reflux I consistently did the following things:

Feeding 1) semi sitting position during feeds (theory that gravity helps keep things down) 2) Keep baby in an upright position for at least 10 to 20 minutes after feeding ( Jack loves to be walked around for the first 5 minutes after a feed with his head looking over my shoulder. This is also a good position for wind to be brought up. Be very aware that vomit on shoulder will almost always happen) :( With night feeds, I feed him in bed then afterwards, I bring my knees up and sit him facing me. The lights are dim and I squint my eyes to pretend to be asleep. Since 5 weeks of age I have consistently done this and he will put himself back to sleep while in this position during the 10 minutes that I sit him like this.

Sleeping 1) Elevate the head of the bed with telephone books. Be wary however, that with this position, baby can slide under the covers unless they are at waist level and firmly tucked in. 2) Reflux babies apparently do well to sleep on their right side. Day sleeps when you can supervise her may be a good time to try this with rolled towels to prevent rolling onto stomach.

Settling 1) I have always found that "white noise" helps distract Jack from his "inner turmoil". White noise is anything like static on the radio or tv or the sound of traffic. Jack wil still settle immediately when I walk outside and he hears the traffic go by. 2) As Kez&Kyle said, lying her tummy down along the length of your arm may stop crying as this gentle pressure on tummy seems to soothe.

Im sorry that you have to wait solong to see your paed but in the time until then, you may want to try some of these strategies and if they dont help, then at least you can tell the Dr that you have tried the conservative approach.

If he does suggest medication, ask him/her loads of questions and search the net for information or ask other mums here that may have their babies on it. If you wanted to research some medicines before your visit I can tell you the names of the most commonly used - Zantac (ranitadine), Losec (omeprazole) and mylanta.

My Child and Youth Health nurse told me that reflux can cause dreadful heartburn and hence the distress it causes. She also said that if worse came to absolute worst and Jack wouldn't settle, to give panadol. I mention medications because I think you need to be aware of further options should all else fail. :)

P.S Reflux babies are famous for sleeping well at night (must be exhaustion!)

(Sorry I tend to ramble on a bit :o )

[mummycloud]

Hi rebeccasmum :)

I have a 6 week old baby who was doing the same up until 2 weeks ago.
I took him to a pediatrician and found out he is lactose intolerant and also has refulx.

There are also early parenting programs which can help you learn to settle her to. Speak to your maternal health nurse about it ;)

Good luck Hon I know how tiring it is when they are always upset, it's so emtionaly draining. Just remember that it isn't your fault and there is help out there for you :)

[Heids]

Hi Rebecca,

I was having trouble bf him as from week 5 as he was spluttering/choking/crying/burping so I started to express as I felt my boobs were to powerful for him to take and now I bottle feed him on a slow release silicon teat. The spluttering and gagging stopped but still he would only feed small amounts from 50mls to 90mls every 2/3 hours, I also use Infacol to help with his burps. He hasn't slept though the days in more than a week now unless we are in the car and I felt he was suffering from exhaustion ( as well as his mum ) as he was doing weird jerky movements. He was having bouts of hysterical crying 1 hr long, farts and burps so loud the neighbours could hear, not wanting to lay on his back very often or even the swing and finally having a 10/20 nap on my chest. I found the only way to stop him cry was to feed him ! which I'm sure started off the whole process of pain again ! ( he wasn't in a growth spurt as he had it in week 6 )

I went to my Ped this morning and found out he has Silent Reflux just like his Dad and Grandma after the first dose of zantac he drank calmly 150ml !!! ( i was shocked ) it has been the first time in ages he has an afternoon sleep which is how I have made it to the computer..lol

Hopefully happy times are ahead for both of us, is awful to see little ones unhappy and in pain :( I think I have cried just as much as him !

How is everything going with your bub now ???

Hugs Heids

[Tisme]

Rebecca's mum,

First of all I'm with you all the way my daughter is now 2 but she was a tantrum thrower from birth to 6 months. I had my BIL and myself walking the floor with her in our arms to try to get her to settle.it wasn't reflux, wasn't wind wasn't anything!!!!

I found the best relief for her was Brauer Colic relief it is a homeopathic solution and therefore COMPLETELY safe. (Infacol is as well but I didn't like it 0.2 mls just didn't seem to do a thing). Also I found that although she struggled against it, when I wrapped her VERY tightly she seemed more content to settle although still cat napped.

The hardest thing for me was having to deal with this screaming mess which I could neither stop nor help and I felt like screaming at her at times. When this happened I wrapped her, put her in her cot and told her sternly "enough" and left her for a couple of minutes. I think at times that time out for me and her saved both our lives and kept me sane. I'm only telling you this as I have been told by numerous people (CHN, doc, obs, midwife and Tresillian nurses) that a child in a safe cot crying cannot harm itself, but a crying baby in your arms may harm you!!

Take it easy and realise that if you believe that there is something not quite "normal" in your childs crying, you are probably right. At 6 months I found that Alana actually had a sensitive bowel .... her screaming fits were due to only half emptying her bowel when she went .... wasn't constipated or have the runs, just not completely emptying..... a few weeks of prune juice and we haven't looked back since. So hang in there and stick with your gut .... you may like me have a VERY strong willed little girl who wants her own way.

[BecH]

Hi,

I just thought have you tried emiliminating foods if you are breastfeeding because my bub had very similiar symptoms but as soon as we worked out it was chocolate (by eliminating heaps and working backwards reintroducing them) she completely settled. Drinking fennel tea (2 teaspoons of fennel seeds in boiling water for 10 minutes) worked amazingly well when I drank it before a feed (tastes like aniseed).
Bec

[rebeccamum]

Thank you all for reading and advising on my daughter's problem. To be honest, I really can't pinpoint if she has reflux but as far as I know if babies puke after feeding, it's considered as having reflux. I managed to speak to her paed on the phone and he said as long as she gains weight OK, there's nothing to worry about (well he's right but I still want to give her some relief). I'm doing everything catnapjack suggested and they work quite well. The vomitting doesn't really bother me if she's not in pain (if she's not tired, she's not upset by it) I don't give her Infacol a lot these days as I don't think it makes much difference. She can burp and fart without it.

I think I'm coping better these days although I can be quite frustrated when she's unsettled (like today..grr..) Some of you say I should believe in my gut feelings but to be honest sometimes I feel very confused and don't even know what my gut feelings are telling me. Some days I feel there's something wrong with her, but some days I feel that my baby is fine, she's just probably in a bad mood or something.

I just try to observe her everyday and whatever or however she is doing , I'll just make sure her needs are met. Everyday is different - one thing might work today and it might not work tomorrow. Wrapping, putting her in pram, sling, music etc. you name it, I've tried them all and they do not always work :o

Well, I'm sure this soon will pass and there will be light at the end of the tunnel for all of us soon. We're doing the best we can because we're their mothers and we're already giving them the best thing in the world - our love.

P.S. BecH, I'm not bf so there's nothing I can do with my diet but thanks for your tips :) So sorry you can't have chocolate though :p

[giggles]

Hi There,

I hope everyhting is going well for you and I just wanted to say, I sympathise with your feelings, worrying if everything is as it should be or if you are just imagining things could be wrong etc....Surely this is a sign of just how much we love our little bundles :-) My daughter had a type of reflux in the first few weeks of her life that made her stop breathing. Apparently, her bodies way of stopping the acid coming back up her throat because her oesophagus was so immature. It was a terrifying time for us.

The first six weeks of having a bub are trying to say the least and I am sure it is just a period of time that by the end of it, makes you realise, we are "Superwoman"!

I also wanted to agree about the book "The Baby Whisperer" by Tracey Hogg. I know books aren't for everyone and there are so many different ideas around out there but after reading this one, a penny dropped and I could really read my beautiful Ava a lot better and we fell into a nice synch together....

I hope your bub is fine anyway and you are getting along OK.

[catnapjack]

Hi again Rebeccas mum,

Sorry to hear that you have had some more unsettled days. I honestly can sympathise. Not only did Jack have severe reflux (Yes...it seems to be settling finally...he is four and a half months old now) but he has n intolerance to regular formula which has lactose and cow milk protein (look at your can and you will notice it is predominantly either casein or whey. My paediatrician trialled him on a hypoallergenic formula which he was still unsettled with so he is now on a prescription formula called elecare and we have no further problems. In fact we tried to retry him with regular formula but it backfired and after just one bottle he was back to continual grizzling, irritable and stomach pains. Maybe you might mention this to your paed?

Sounds like you are doing everything for sure. You sound like a fab mum. :D